Are all Red Pill methods for attracting women bullshit?

ecuanaso · 2021-09-01T21:41:29+00:00

I like to also mention that the guys I know personally that are good with woman don’t use this cocky and funny BS. Or putting woman down. They’re actually sweet to them and give them pet names blah blah. But according to some in the red pill community that’s considered “simpjng” lol

Bluetinfoilhat · 2021-09-01T22:04:07+00:00

If you want to get self loathing and insecure women then yes some of their tips can work, but why do you want those women to begin with??

ZacKaizen · 2021-09-01T20:37:02+00:00

The self-improvement stuff is fine.

The dating strategies are mainly centered around getting dates (and some of it is useful, for women with certain mindsets - whether you want to date those girls is another matter); however, most of the advice you will see from the likes of Rollo, Rich Cooper, Fresh&Fit, MLD, Donovan Sharpe, and to some extent Rian Stone, is lacking in the retention department. There is an entirely different approach to getting a girl to agree to go on a date with you, and getting her to want to continue going on dates with you.

Take the texting example. Your confusion there is common because these guys typically only talk about how to get that first date (and assume you will just figure it out from there, I guess?). And yes, before the first date, you do not want to be sending paragraphs via text. You want to be funny/witty and have a purpose with each message (specifically driving towards asking to meet up and setting up a day/time/location). After that first date, the "logistics only" recommendation no longer applies. You still do not want to send paragraphs, or come off as needy, but you should maintain the lines of communication. Personally, if I was texting back and forth for more than a few messages with a girl I have already gone on a date with, I would typically say something along the lines of "Hey, I am heading into the gym/work/whatever, but I'd love to talk about this more. I'll give you a call later tonight if you are available". Keeping the lines of communication open and getting back to a verbal form. My preferred methods of communication were always 1) in person, 2) verbally over the phone, and last) texting/email.

The emotional investment recommendation is similar. You do not want to seem overly invested too soon. No girl wants you to start talking about your future kids before your first date. That is a huge turnoff and will likely have them running for the hills! But when you have been seeing someone for 6 months or a year, that no longer applies.

Training_Passenger79 · 2021-09-01T23:37:22+00:00

Red Pill usually isn’t totally inaccurate about the behaviors they observe, although they’re usually wrong about how common/extreme the behaviors are.

Where red pill is entirely wrong is when it attempts to interpret the reasons behind the behavior. It does so through the male perspective - but male and female perspectives are incredibly different - almost polar opposites.

So not only are their assumptions about a woman’s intent dead wrong, they’re so far off the mark it actually ends up being harmful to men. It sabotages their relationships and forces them towards incelhood.

To clarify, the way men and women feel about things is extremely similar - almost identical. For example - both sexes fear rejection, and that motivates their behavior.

But the way they perceive things is largely based on their gender role. For example - while men, who are responsible for pursuing women, are often analyzing, calculating, and planning their maneuvers - women do very little of this, if at all, and when they do it, it’s usually something they learned to do from experience to protect themselves from getting hurt. Rarely a woman will be manipulative and calculating - but they’re usually women who have a lot of baggage and some serious issues.

The reason for this is that women don’t feel the need to “play a game” to get a date. So they don’t invest a lot of their mental resources towards that type of thinking, and those neural circuits are largely unused in the context of the dating game.

Because Red Pill interprets female behavior through male perception, it teaches guys that women are constantly manipulating and that the thing they care the most about is the hierarchy. (A complete lie from what I can tell. Women don’t usually work in terms of hierarchy - their minds are orientated towards social cooperation, so they see things in terms of groups and relationship quality)

What this does, to guys, is cause them to think that women are playing a game when they’re not. So they miss the real reasons behind the behavior - many of which are based in some form of self-preservation.

For example, the reason most women will flirt and then reject a guys advances is because they’re afraid of misleading him because they’re not willing to commit to having sex yet, and they’re afraid he will expect it, and then blame it on them if he doesn’t get it.

The right response to that is to build trust and bond more. The wrong response is to withhold emotion and communication for the sake of a power play she isn’t even participating in.

In short: Every fundamental principle of red pill, except for the fact that men should focus on improving themselves, is wrong, because the way they arrive at those conclusions is illogical.

imhereforthemeta · 2021-09-01T22:57:09+00:00

If you want to hook up maybe, but these are not good for actual relationships. I dated a guy who got into TRP during our relationship (found out later) He was using ~frame~ and emotional withholding from me and I just didn't feel like I was being treated like a partner.

I'm an adult and I want to date someone who I am working together with, not against. These tactics bring drama and come off passive-aggressive at it's most pathetic and isolating at it's most "badass". That's not exactly great relationship material.

xvszero · 2021-09-02T01:52:47+00:00

The stuff you mentioned first isn't really "red pill" it's mostly just basic human interaction stuff. And some of it is common sense. Gee, more women might be into me if I do something with my life instead of living in my mom's basement playing video games all day? Well I never.

Red pill is more defined by the idea that we have been lied to about the world, and the reality is completely different (hence the reference to the red pill in the Matrix, which opens people's eyes to the true world behind the artificial one.) And usually to them what that means is... everything you have been told about women is a lie, and here is how women really are: Insert a shit ton of sexist nonsense.

So no, you don't need the red pill. If you want some dating advice, you can get some basic common sense dating advice from sources without sexist assholes involved.

ecuanaso · 2021-09-01T21:38:57+00:00

None of those guys have game at all, they say to limit communication but that’s stupid because that doesn’t work on every single woman. They talk in extremes and dating is not like that , it’s more nuanced then people think. All these guys only can talk about their own experiences dealing with woman. They can’t tell you how to deal with a woman they don’t know . But they create courses teaching men how to deal with all woman. It makes no sense.

kristos91 · 2021-09-01T20:32:21+00:00

Remind me of when i was into that bullshit.

i did my best to follow their method from how to text the girl, i tried sooo hard to act cool and became someone that i'm not, i constantly insulted the girl who i liked in order to make her think that i'm cool and to make her think that im not desperate.

the girl that i liked ended up left me and i ended up got nothing.

long story short came to the realization that i was a insecure narcissist piece of shit loser who didn't have a personality

everytime i remember that i get disgusted of myself and still cringing to myself to this day.

CitrusyDeodorant · 2021-09-02T08:46:48+00:00

Yeah... push and pull, definitely not an emotional manipulation tactic eyeroll Again and again and again: there's nothing good in RP that you couldn't find in a decent self-help book. Leave that garbage alone and focus on actual self-improvement. That's the part that helps, not these misogynistic con artists.

xXMachineWomanXx · 2021-09-02T02:35:50+00:00

Honestly, depends on the woman/women you are trying to attract. If you want a stable woman and partner, no.

bishounensupremacy · 2021-09-02T05:53:38+00:00

Almost all of the things you mentioned aren't exclusively redpill, they're things all pick up artists would tell you and some of them are literally common sense everyone is aware of. You think no one would've told you to improve yourself if you didn't come across redpill? Basic dating advice + dumb exaggerations about female nature + misogyny is literally what redpill is. I wonder how people ended up thinking being part of a community like that makes them special, it's almost like they use cult strategies or something...unless?

Nomandate · 2021-09-02T13:30:26+00:00

It depends…do you want to attract crazies with daddy issues?

Mujerhanna · 2021-09-01T22:03:05+00:00

The only thing they say right is men following their passion and career and leave women, even if its temporarily! When a man is at his best mentally and financially he attracts better women! Its just how things work! However red pills don’t follow their own advice

New_Soup_3107 · 2021-09-02T04:23:32+00:00

Although I am exredpill I will say that It has definitely helped me get the girlfriend that I have now. I no longer seek someone’s validation over my own and the second I started focusing on myself and what I wanted out of the situation I found myself a lot more relaxed, calm, and ready to act on whatever opportunity presents itself with the situation.

It’s not all BS IMO you just have to figure out what methods work for you!

RedPillDetox · 2021-09-02T13:09:34+00:00

I'd say your post is already spot on and you seem well aware what works vs what doesnt, so no need to big debate here

spankyourkopita · 2021-09-02T00:59:41+00:00

Some of it is just common sense but RP claims it their own. Like being needy is obviously something you shouldn't do but RP goes deeper into it like SMV and beta/alpha behavior.

lavicat1 · 2021-09-02T15:44:35+00:00

The redpilled men who call themselves “high value” are really just high value on the lowest tier of people. They are bottom-feeders with a six pack and a skewed transactional view of reality. Ofc they will attract their counterpart in women. So yes, I would say their methods are BS. These manipulating, “slutty” women they have so much to say about are the ones they attract.

Fortunately, their beliefs are not reality.

It’s great advice to work on yourself and not put others on a pedestal (man or woman), but that’s about where redpill and normal values align.

From my POV, I think redpill is attractive to those who struggle to date and maintain relationships. It provides an outlet and “reasons” for their anger, but these views only ostracize them from the type of women they actually want to be with. Everyone deserves happiness and the ability to love and be loved. It makes me sad that redpill views deceive them and actually prevent that.

I am a woman, so feel free to reach out to me if you want any advice or input.

jaredhasarrived · 2021-09-02T01:27:59+00:00

Here's the thing... at its core red pill is helpful. the problem is their toxic culture.

softnmushy · 2021-09-02T03:49:09+00:00

All the things you mentioned are totally useful and not toxic.

Are there specific things you aren’t sure about?

grahamcookiefart · 2021-09-02T08:31:08+00:00

They're pretty good if you want to attract trashy/abusive women. But on any sane women they wouldn't work

Legitimate-Ad3832 · 2021-09-05T18:54:03+00:00

You will attract broken, dysfunctional women with low self-esteem. Some of them may be very hot. At least that's what happened with me.

Legitimate-Ad3832 · 2021-09-05T19:26:25+00:00

I still think that women are repulsed by weakness in men and I think this is something that is deeply rooted in biology. I don't even blame them or resent them for it, I think it's just the way they are wired and that it is necessary for us to be that way as a species. We are still animals at the end of the day and nature is ruthless, other animals hack each other to pieces. It makes sense to me that a woman is biologically wired to find the strongest, toughest man to reproduce with so she can produce the healthiest, strongest offspring possible. I don't think how kind, empathetic or "nice" a man is comes into it. They want someone strong.

This was always painful for me because I never felt strong. I had a narcissistic father who bullied me relentlessly. It was never safe for me to assert myself with him, and that meant I never learned how to stand up for myself. But I'm an adult now and the only way for me to change is to first accept what I am, take responsibility for my own attitudes and behaviours, and try my best to behave properly. None of this is easy, in fact it's brutal to truly take full responsibility for your life because that means you are fully to blame for things that have went wrong. You can't keep putting the blame on parents, society, women. The correct attitude is to look at yourself and your behaviour, and to keep your side of the street clean.

Title	Are all Red Pill methods for attracting women bullshit?
Author	Whole-Pea1870
Upvotes	25
Comments	87
Date	September 1, 2021 7:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/pg14zh/are_all_red_pill_methods_for_attracting_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/are-all-red-pill-methods-for-attracting-women.1066541 https://theredarchive.com/post/1066541

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