How can I avoid embracing the “women are only attracted to misogynistic men” idea when all my anecdotal evidence points to that being true?

_Woodrow_ · 2022-10-15T13:09:41+00:00

Til - paying strippers to appear in your videos is the same thing as actually having women like you.

medlabunicorn · 2022-10-15T13:35:41+00:00

Literally no women ‘love’ Andrew Tate, unless by ‘love’ you mean ‘accept payment in exchange for modeling, acting, and/or sexual favors.’

The man is not honest.

2022-10-15T12:51:04+00:00

It's easy to feed the masses curated partial truths and panem et circenses with enough money and paid actors. It's important to understand what they're not telling you and it's that those relationships, if they do get going, are often short-lived and fizzle out (especially with the ones that use the tricks to make her addicted to him with push/pull and all that). They rarely last and usually require a level of hijacking parts of her brain just to keep her with you. They're too fake.

It's mentally and emotionally keeping women hostage, especially when very clear emotional blackmail is being used. Do you really want that? Do you want a woman who has a big chunk of "love" for you that's only fudged brain chems? Seems like a recipe for disaster. Truth be told, I was in these relationships constantly for 10+ years and they massively fucked up my mental health, my ability to work, and so many other negative side effects.

Healthy relationships function very differently, but there isn't really any incentive to teach people how to have healthy relationships because drama sells and can keep up with our over-dopamined crack monkey brains, but they're also on YouTube too, you're just not looking. There are a lot of steps involved: learning how to communicate better, learning how to be our true selves around that person (everyone masks, but to what degree?), learning that there is good and bad within everyone, how to handle each other's shadows, etc.

Relationships are very complex and there isn't really a shortcut. I've been married for almost 20 years and they're just hard. There will be fighting, there will be mistakes, there will be wandering eyes and hands, there will be bad moods, there will be times you don't like each other, there will be times you're too exhausted to fight for each other and the memories you've made, etc. There is no one stop fix for these. They require us to look within and find out a lot about ourselves and actually give enough fucks about your partner to keep fighting for the good and doing more than just sticking banaids on the bad.

What aren't they telling you?

Naus1987 · 2022-10-15T14:11:12+00:00

It depends on what kind of attention you want from women.

Andrew isn’t getting married or life-long romance. Or any romance at all!

So you do see women as only sexual being that you can drape around you. Or a person to grow with?

If you look at women like sex objects then it can be easy to find yourself jealous of others who treat them the same way.

But if you wanted more, you would see that Andrew is sorely falling short.

It’s a good opportunity to think critically on what you want.

And then for extra fun, imagine how easy it was for you to mind fuck your self. And then imagine how easy it is for a lot of women to be mind fucked as well.

You can’t expect women to be rational when you yourself can’t even be held accountable to the same standard.

Sometimes people just be dumb. You get to decide what kind of person you want to be.

xvszero · 2022-10-15T15:39:39+00:00

First off, any famous / wealthy person can get women. Keanu Reeves is notoriously nice / not a misogynist, do you think he struggles to get women?

Second off, I've seen no real evidence that Tate gets much legit attention from women. Paying women to be in videos is not the same as real attention from women.

Third off though, even if we assume he is drowning in women, I'd ask... what are your goals? I doubt Tate has ever had a single mutually satisfying longterm relationship in his life. I doubt he is even capable of it. So if you never want anything real, sure, emulate Tate. If you do want something real, don't emulate Tate. Seems simple enough to me.

Now, if you're just trying to get laid and don't care if you're a bad person, sure, emulate Tate. You probably won't have the results you want though, and you'll turn into a shittier person too. And then where does that leave you? Now you're a worse person and still not getting much attention from women.

As for your own life, marching for women is great and all but that's not about getting women, it's about women's rights. And marching for women but also following Andrew Tate is just going to confuse people.

TheFootHarmony · 2022-10-15T14:45:53+00:00

I will be short and say: The man you have named, has Zero status on the countries he is living and speaking loud. On the first he has lots of criminal cases for prostitu.t.ion. He is just a p.imp. The girls you saw him with are also the girls who are eager for publicity and increasing their market share (to be polite) he also sequestered 2 american girls. So for that saied he is not an example to look at or hear at. He speak bad about women as he used them for earnings and now the wheel is returning( what goes around comes around) and also not Good looking. You know what attracts real women? Healthy life, healthy mind, good manners and the rest you build with the lady you choose to be.

Stargazer1919 · 2022-10-15T15:01:16+00:00

Then, on the other hand, you have me. I volunteer teaching English to immigrants and refugees four days a week. I march for womens’ rights and skipped class the day after the SCOTUS decision to protest in DC, I’ve never harmed a woman physically or emotionally and believe entirely in equality. I’ve also never had a girlfriend before despite being 23, I never get any likes or matches on dating apps, and I get rejected by all the women I approach.

Let's be real here. Dating apps are shallow and you don't know someone unless you talk to them for awhile. Same thing if you cold approach someone, they don't know you.

Just my personal experience but I instantly say no to guys who cold approach me. I don't know them or their intentions.

Spend time around women before jumping in to ask them out. And lower your expectations for dating sites.

SweelFor- · 2022-10-15T14:08:37+00:00

1) "Women" do not love him. He pays them to be in videos or on a podcast, or whatever he does. What do you think would happen if you polled 4 billion women and asked them if they loved him?

2) Those who do love him, are people you don't want to be with. Trash people love trash people. This clears the space for good people. Win win.

squirrelscrush · 2022-10-15T15:32:34+00:00

I've never watched Tate, but from what I can understand, the attention from girls he's getting is either paid or superficial. And you don't want to live a life with girls who don't care about your personality but stay for you for only material or status reasons. Nobody wants friends who stay with you only for your money or status or other superficial reasons, so why to want girls like that?

Regarding your dating success, I would suggest you to read DrNerdLove's articles. His articles helped me a lot to deconstruct my redpill mindset, and gave me a healthy vision to see relationship dynamics.

RedPillDetox · 2022-10-15T17:05:38+00:00

I'm quite sure Andrew Tate is loved by women for being misogynistic rather than being (or at least appearing) rich and muscular... not.

This assuming anything that he projects in his social media is real to start with... or pretending that the fact that he runs borderline prostitution businesses and has power over his female employees doesn't contribute to any "success" he may be having.

On the other hand, for every guy that is a charicature of a misogynist, i'm quite sure you know multiple guy who have girlfriends and are not misogynysts so what' up with "women are only attracted to misogynystic men"?

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2022-10-15T20:24:22+00:00

We don't want men that are fighting for our rights just so they can sleep with us. We don't want men that see us as an object, or one of a plethora to be achieved. We certainly don't want men who think that "refraining from abusing women" is somehow an achievement to be praised; this is actually the bare minimum and not something I'd expect a man to think is an exceptional trait.

It is very possible that your nefarious intent is what is being perceived when you are talking to women, and preventing them from wanting to know you.

Livid-Team5045 · 2022-10-15T21:39:34+00:00

This is not true my man. I don't know a single woman who doesn't absolutely despise him. I am not understanding how you know that women "hate" you? It takes patience and time to date. If you have any female friends I would ask them to look over your profile and ask for their help in any advice or constructive criticism they may have. I am dating (f) and we have a different set of hurdles to overcome. I would also suggest that you reach out for support from any of your guy friends who are also dating; it can be a really lonely and discouraging process and I find it it so helpful to have friends, who are in the same boat, to support and laugh about it with me. It's really not easy for both genders. You are so young and have lots of time. Best of luck to you.

RealRussShackleford · 2022-10-15T21:53:16+00:00

The women that are attracted to him are attracted to things like his physique, his money and his confidence.

They don’t like him BECAUSE he’s misogynistic, if anything it’s in spite of it.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-10-16T04:05:36+00:00

How can I avoid embracing the “women are only attracted to misogynistic men” idea when all my anecdotal evidence points to that being true?

If all women were only attracted to misogynists, then the vast majority of men would be lifelong celibate because they aren't misogynists. Seems unlikely.

Andrew Tate is also loved by women despite how much he hates them.

Obviously hes going to get some out of 4 billion women on the planet. But what percent of women love him?

If you watch a lot of his lifestyle videos, you can see women all over him

These women look like they might be paid, and the fact you didn't consider that indicates you may have some issues with social awareness.

and he never seems to have any issues attracting women

Are there non-staged videos of him attracting random women who obviously aren't paid?

I never get any likes or matches on dating apps

Men outnumber women 3 to 1 on dating apps and pics are everything on there. So its tough if you have average pics.

and I get rejected by all the women I approach

Are you approaching strangers on the street randomly?

whilst women hate me despite my views on women

How do you know they hate you? Does not wanting a relationship mean they hate you?

I march for womens’ rights and skipped class the day after the SCOTUS decision to protest in DC, I’ve never harmed a woman physically or emotionally and believe entirely in equality. I’ve also never had a girlfriend before despite being 23

Being nice is only one small part of being attractive, and is a liability if you are too nice. Physical attractiveness, financial stability, social skills, and dating skills are far more important.

sevans105 · 2022-10-15T14:09:15+00:00

I’m an old man now….at least that’s what my kids tell me. And thus I’m entitled to give unsolicited advice. As an individual, Tate is pretty easy to dismiss for several reason, not least of which is the fact that his attractiveness is an illusion. However, I understand your overall angst, that misogyny is more attractive than feminism/equality. On that note, your life is GREAT for a long relationship but not so awesome for a short catch. A lot of it depends on your age, and the age and maturity of the women you are talking about. Your actions sound pretty self aware and with a level of maturity. The number of men who are similar is pretty small….likewise for women. You are looking at pretty small percentage of the 20 -25 year old woman population who has a similar level. It’ll be higher than men….women tend to mature faster than men….but still not that high in your 20s.

You sound like a good man, one with attributes that I’d want my daughter to date and marry….but those aren’t attributes that aren’t on a dating profile. Keep the good man….become the Man.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-10-15T18:35:45+00:00

Lastly, he is a pimp.

PhilosopherHistorian · 2022-10-15T22:12:09+00:00

Women don’t “love” Tate, much the opposite. Also, I bet money that those women in his videos are paid actresses.

cripo092 · 2022-10-15T13:29:31+00:00

Because, from the beggining, you shouldn't build your vision of the world solely by your own experience, that's not a good way to understand the world, once you liberate yourself from that egotistic way of seeing you can get perspective of the real underlying things that caused the situations around yourself

ABlokeCalledGeorge8 · 2022-10-15T19:36:09+00:00

You compare yourself to Tate but I don't think you really want what he has. Sure, the guy is confident and attractive, but a lot of the attention he gets is superficial and maybe even from women who agree with his views. That doesn't mean you should adopt his views.

You do you, my man. Don't compare yourself to a knucklehead like Tate. He can have all the girls he wants, doesn't make him any less of an unscrupulous twat.

Kooky-Ant-9432 · 2022-10-15T22:46:01+00:00

He's rich and pays them. I guarantee that I would never date Tate or any of his followers. Putrid trash that strives on controversy

Tostitos153 · 2022-10-15T22:50:16+00:00

What women love Andrew tate? Where do you see this?

WaffleConeDX · 2022-10-16T00:00:41+00:00

Do you think those relationships will last long? You have to remember women aren’t a monolith. You see those girls that are after him or who like him, aren’t the type of women you want. Those girls just want clout, sex and money.

Miyy_1074 · 2022-10-16T00:11:02+00:00

Hey I’m women and I just wanted to say the 100 women that surround Tate are not even worth 1 good women. They are there for his money and not him. It’s fake love.

Your_Nipples · 2022-10-15T15:13:45+00:00

Dude, I'm very sorry but would you like to date the women Andrew Tate is surrounded by? Don't you think that type of women do not have the same motives, level of integrity as some other women may have?

Despite what you think about yourself, what you do for others or in your spare time: you view women as things to own because you deserve it somehow because trust me, if you viewed them as people as opposed to "humans that I thirst over but can't get", you would think "what a bunch of sad people".

Like, how can you do what you do while being envious of a dude who gets girls as shallow as him with money?

You are as shallow as them too. Posts like yours reminds me how it's so easy for men to be hate-filled, it only takes a shitty man with a harem of shallow women.

What are you looking for when it comes to women? Obviously, not enough because there's not enough to think that these women are relationship material but are they hot? For sure and it seems like it's the only thing that matters to you.

If I was looking for the bare minimum, like, a smart woman, all these women would be disqualified on the spot. You have no standards (just like them).

Keep thinking like this and the next step for you is being exploited by that kind of women, you will blame them again and turn to the black pill.

You'll grow up once you'll be able to get turned off by stupidity.

2022-10-15T16:30:16+00:00

The truth is in the middle. It's not that women are attracted to misogynistic men per say, they are attracted to the confident, assertive, uncompromising aspects of these men. There's a difference. Women want a balance of both a nice guy who cares deeply about them who also isn't a push over and doesn't let her walk all over him. That being said, be yourself, put yourself out there and you'll naturally attract the women who are best compatible for you.

GeorgeWashingtonKing · 2022-10-15T14:23:33+00:00

He’s not successful with women because of his views. He’s successful women because he’s rich, fit, a good talker and has a bunch of social status. Protesting for women’s rights doesn’t entitle you to women, you need to work on yourself. Hit the gym, become well rounded, develop confidence and social skills, fix your style, etc.

BaadKitteh · 2022-10-15T21:24:40+00:00

You are comparing your real life behind the scenes to this dbag's highlight reel. Why would he show you anything else in his videos? What makes you think that's any more real than anything anyone else records? There are only 2 types of women who pay attention to men like that- those looking for a payday, either directly or by association- or those who are too dim or naïve to understand they can't possibly help or change him into a worthwhile man. Why would you want either of those type of women, regardless of what they look like? Stop looking at fiction and comparing it to real life.

wasted_basshead · 2022-10-16T01:48:35+00:00

He pays those women dude

2022-10-15T14:50:06+00:00

Anecdotes aren't good as evidence. Anecdotes are useful for disproving universal statements like "all As like to do thing B" or telling a story which reflects a general rule based on actual data. Other than that, anecdotes are pretty much useless as quantitative evidence and can be tainted by bias. If someone looks at the world through a filter, they may pick scenarios which reflect their worldview or misinterpret what they see.

incredulitor · 2022-10-15T15:43:17+00:00

when women love him

They do?

fullsarj · 2022-10-16T04:09:29+00:00

You'll find someone just be patient. Work on yourself, for sure, but also just relax, give it time, and keep an open heart. At age 33 I married a woman who would never be interested in me if I was that kind of misogynistic d-bag. She likes that I take turns cooking and cleaning and she kind of sighs and puts up with my gym obsession. She likes that I communicate well and open to talking about feelings. I've had pretty good luck with the ladies from age 18 until I got married, so you can take that as a different kind of anecdotal evidence. Keep your chin up!

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-10-17T18:01:28+00:00

We aren't.

Those skeletons in the closet will come out and it will break the relationship up. The misogynist thing is a real deal breaker and it's hard to have a good relationship with someone who sees you as less than.

I think the thing is what do these misogynistic men have. "Bravado" "Working out and self improvement" "self made man" "confidence". Basically traits that are universally attractive. A man who encourages the chase can be exciting to some women too. You can do all of these things and not be a misogynist.

TVans14 · 2022-10-15T18:20:08+00:00

Remind yourself that Correlation is not causation. Women are attracted to strong competent men who can provide, protect and lead. Whether those men are nice or nasty in attitude, that is irrelevant. However a strong man can be nasty to others and get away with it because of their power and status, but a weak man usually needs to play nice to get by. So there's a tendency for assholes being strong men and nice guys being weak men, and that's where the correlation arises. But again, correlation is not causation. You can still be nice but if you want to be attractive you have to be strong. Ideally physically, socially and financially. Look at any strong powerful man who is not a mysoginist as an example. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Barack Obama come to mind. Loved by women but not known for mysoginistic views. But certainly strong and powerful men. I'm not saying you need to be a celebrity, but you do need to have more to offer than mere niceness.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-10-15T18:32:57+00:00

I know some people that are extremely promiscious. They also like dark triad sort of traits.

They are two. Ok so take a school class of 25.

Now, together say that these two women sleep with 200 different men. 200 men will then say ”we had the same experience with women”. Some will then encounter some more of these women and they will say ”I know how women work”.

The other 23 women contributed very little or none to male perception of what women like, how women are and so on. But to women, these 23 women are representative of how women work.

There ends up being a discrepancy in what women as a group do and subsequently say, and what men experience women doing. "Don't listen to what women say, listen do what they do" falls on the confirmation bias.

SweelFor- · 2022-10-15T13:42:53+00:00

accept the facts of life and lead a life you want to lead

2022-10-21T21:08:32+00:00

Yea that's a brutal red pill, women would prefer the man in the bugatti over the man that is volunteering.

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zapadz · 2022-10-15T17:48:47+00:00

Here are some videos that can explain it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylWCD1159G0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9j4kfv-pMw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPIZWWzJjYE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlJLLjE9_To

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI73CQtDqKQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNFWmA2pmOk

TheHoLetariat · 2022-10-18T00:04:31+00:00

I think you’re making (on some level) a just-world fallacy. The reality is that yes, some misogynistic men do get laid but the key distinction is that they get laid IN SPITE of it and not because of it. A prime example of this is frat boys who are not exactly exemplars of feminist allyship, and yet they still do pretty well. those guys get away with it because they’re already good-looking, high status, natural jock charisma, etc.

Here’s a litmus test on whether you could get laid despite misogyny (if you were to adopt redpill beliefs): do you ever complain about the 80/20 rule or online dating (not getting matches)? If yes, then the tough pill to swallow is that you’re probably too average-looking (or worse) to get laid while holding redpill/misogynistic/anti-feminist beliefs. And even then, there are probably good looking dudes in that 20% zone that get turned down when women realize that they’re conservative/red-pilled

If you’re average looking/average “game” then having misogynist beliefs is analogous to not showering. Even if you shower, no one is gonna have sex with you just because you showered. It’s just a bare minimum expectation that you value hygiene. Likewise, if you have feminist beliefs, women aren’t gonna throw themselves at you just because you read Bell Hooks or something - it’s just the bare minimum expectation that you believe in/fight for women’s rights, see them as humans, etc. However, not having feminist beliefs (similar to not showering) will be a dealbreaker for some women.

There are a couple caveats here: I’m talking about beliefs and not techniques. There’s a chance that pickup techniques from those coaches might work for you (I’m not gonna claim they never work for anyone), but there’s also a high chance that they won’t lead to high quality relationships. Also, if you live in a city, misogynistic beliefs are more likely gonna be a deal breaker, whereas in rural areas, you might get away with trad beliefs or whatever. I.e. there’s no absolutes in dating. Also as others have commented, ideally men shouldn’t be feminists just to get laid, they should try to embody those values and actually care about women…I just wanted to make a cynical point about how if you’re choosing either ideology solely on the basis of how it affects your chances, blue pill > red pill for most guys.

Deep_Restaurant3936 · 2022-10-19T16:45:14+00:00

Read No more Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. You’re the “NICE GUY” he’s talking about. There seems to be a lot of people gaslighting you with their answers. Trying to convince you what you’re seeing isn’t true. But you know, your experience is real. The facts are real. Women actually do prefer him over you. It’s not because he’s mean to women; quite the contrary. It’s because he’s successful, confident, and doesn’t placate to them. You’re 23 and are a virgin. Do you want to be 24, 25, 26, and so on remaining a virgin? Then stop listening to the nonsense below and hear me out. Start reading and educate yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you what to believe. Figure it out for yourself and put it into practice. If you do that; then I’m sure you will have your answer. Good luck to you.

hotmama-45 · 2023-12-20T07:02:57+00:00

Sorry...this is a late comment. I'm a 47 yr old woman that despises Tate. I also don't know any woman (in my circle) who likes Tate. As my good guy friend says, "Tate and his brother are sadistic bastards."

You are YOUNG. My ex landlord was tall and handsome but didn't lose his virginity/get married until he was 39. His wife? A blonde bombshell with a high IQ that does everything well.

You sound amazing. You might not meet the love of your life until you are 30. Don't settle.