A man I’ve worked with in the past and casually connected with on social media recently changed his profile to “Michael Mary Smith” and stopped posting about sports. All the posts are of his wife and kids.

Confused, I did some digging and found out he now has a joint Facebook account with his wife because, according to a mutual, his wife found him talking to other women and liking their photos. So she decided to take away his social media privileges.

Sis, this ain’t gonna work. 🤦‍♀️

If a LVM is going to cheat, he’s going to cheat. There is nothing a GF or wife can do to stop him.

Nor should she waste any of her time policing a grown man’s actions!

Here are a few of the misguided attempts I’ve seen or—in my pickme days—used to futilely “prevent” a LVM from cheating and why they don’t work:

  1. Joint social media accounts

  2. He’s just going to make secret accounts and keep talking to other women -

  3. Random cellphone checks

  4. He’s going to buy a cheap “burner” phone from Walmart, use an email, delete the texts, or use Snapchat or another kind of privacy app -

  5. Forbid him from seeing certain “tempting” women

  6. Women cannot steal men. Repeat: WOMEN CANNOT STEAL MEN. LVM choose to cheat. If it ain’t her, it will be someone else. -

  7. Following/ checking up on him

  8. Not only is this dangerous and time consuming for YOU, if he knows you’re following him, he will choose opportunities to cheat when you cannot follow him (like when you’re at work) Men aren’t stupid. -

  9. Lie detector tests

  10. Sis, if you’re going full Maury with a lie detector test, WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM? Also, those things can be fooled. -

  11. Catfishing him to prove he’s cheating

  12. I am guilty of helping a friend do this to her boyfriend. He didn’t take the bait, and we wasted an entire afternoon and $20 on a photoshop app. Not worth it. Plus, he WAS cheating and she knew it in her gut, so she should have just walked away. -

What this all comes down to is if you’re at the point in your relationship where you’re considering “cheating interventions,” it’s time to leave.

LVM CHOOSE to cheat, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. So set them free to be the community dick they want to be. 🤷‍♀️