Article Discussion - Why Do Smart Men Date Less Intelligent Women?

Aigonorus · 2020-05-23T17:23:15+00:00

As someone with straight A's everywhere, this has been my experience too.

Has it lowered my self esteem? No because insecure scrotes aren't a deciding factor in it.

They want less educated women to establish dominance. It's fragile masculinity at play.

It also helps in psychologically manipulating women as the less educated woman would probably take his lead as "he knows better" and may not be able to differentiate when he's being helpful as opposed to when he's gaslighting or manipulating her.

Less educated also means she'll likely earn less, slight financial dependence at play. Plus they may also try to convince her to leave her job.

It's easier for them to handle less educated women because knowledge is power and they don't want women to have any.

jetpatch · 2020-05-23T16:32:33+00:00

Frankly I'd be fine with marrying a less intelligent man if he could do stuff I can't do. So long as he at least had practical intelligence and wasn't screwing up basic shit all the time and causing trouble. But then I'm an introvert and I can go days without talking, women who need sensible conversation in their lives everyday will have a different perspective.

Edit: I guess I feel a couple can work if they complement each other rather than matching.

msromperstomper · 2020-05-23T16:03:37+00:00

I read this article earlier this year and went down the rabbit hole researching it. There was an interesting study conducted in 2015 that concluded that men like smart women in the abstract, but when faced with actually meeting a smart woman in person, their attraction to smart women decreased: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/navigating-the-love-gap/201802/do-men-want-date-intelligent-women. I've also noticed in my own area (academia) most male academics tend to have stay at home wives.

rainbowshummingbird · 2020-05-23T18:04:35+00:00

I think men’s attraction to women is simple minded. They are attracted first to a physically attractive woman, any other attributes that a woman may possess are secondary.

YarikEnterprise · 2020-05-23T19:59:14+00:00

High value intelligent men do exist, but they're rare. Take the general ego-puffing that men recieve for having penises and add in the mix of arrogance and praise for being wicked smart and... Well. It isn't exactly a road map to learning to respect others, is it?

I married the smartest man I know. He's said without hesitation that I'm the smartest woman he knows. The key is that he respects me. He wants different opinions than his own. He is eager to learn. Over our marriage I have watched his soft skills grow in leaps and bounds because of his willingness to engage and listen, and we as a pair have reaped the benefits. I've also grown myself from learning his more methodical approaches. An actual organic partnership built on respect and building each other up is a beautiful thing. But that respect and willingness to change is key. Without it... Boy, bye.

YeoubiFoxRain · 2020-05-23T18:16:29+00:00

A woman perceived to be intellectually inferior is presupposed to be more amenable to suggestions and susceptible to manipulation. Most men have delusions of competency and adequacy that an intelligent woman will not tolerate and he deflects criticism by stating he loves intelligent woman with the implied stipulation "She must not be smarter than me."

Kekekeke7777 · 2020-05-23T20:36:25+00:00

Most men believe they are inherently smarter than most women regardless of talent, performance, or training. Remember the interviewer who believed he would win in a fight against Ronda Rousey? So they fought, she broke his ribs, and he lost. I’ve known men like this who will still walk away thinking they just had bad luck that day and would likely win next time.

I’ve dated men who were obviously less “smart” than me. They were less smart than most people I’ve come across. In fact, they really struggled with basic concepts of reasoning and consequences.

Yet- they both believed they were much, much smarter than me. They weren’t just insecure and trying to fool themselves. They believed very matter of factly that they were not only smarter than me, but smarter that most.

Being a doctor, lawyer, or professor is a measure of just a few types of intelligence. I’ve know couples where the man is a wealthy doctor and the woman is a stay at home wife. She was smarter than him. Our friend group saw it easily.

ParticularMonth0 · 2020-05-23T19:27:28+00:00

[deleted]

fiercefinance · 2020-05-23T21:01:46+00:00

In my experience, being a smart and outspoken woman is not that attractive to most men. Don't get me wrong, they like me for sex. But yeah, one of many reasons I'm single AF.

kiyankiriam · 2020-05-23T20:52:08+00:00

Can confirm. When i met on paper HVM, they didnt like me confronting them or voicing opinions. The best was when i just sit still and look pretty. And one of the guy who divorced his ex told me he doesnt like career minded women as theyre high strung.

lival42 · 2020-05-23T18:01:48+00:00

What I have heard directly to my face is “you’re going to hold it over my head!” And “I won’t have a chance to get a word out and you’ll have proven me wrong”. Like... projection much?

buy_me_cookies · 2020-05-23T16:17:53+00:00

I did not read the article because I don't want to give the Atlantic my click but I have noticed something that appears to be similar in my life. What is interesting to me is that the women who are allegedly dumb really just have different priorities than the men they are married to. For example a woman May set a goal to have a family and be a homemaker and be really good at doing those types of things. Men tend to prioritize social status and money and they think that is the smarter choice so they assume the women who want to stay home and do domestic items are somehow less smart.

I know a number of professional men with Housewives that everyone considers to be dingy. But when I talk to these women they are very smart. They're running a household doing budgets filing taxes organizing the lives of their children and often their extended families. These are important analytical and process driven skills but the husband's don't seem to recognize it.

Again I want to admit that I did not read the article but I wonder if this differentiation in value has anything to do with the way we determine which spouse is smarter

AutoMuchaBeach0 · 2020-05-23T18:48:05+00:00

Probably afraid of being overshadowed. Sure some would like smart woman to have intellectual conversations with, but most just want to be seen as a "smart one" in relationship.

Jenloubak · 2020-05-23T23:40:52+00:00

They aren’t smart they have an over abundance of confidence.

2020-05-23T22:27:53+00:00

I'm starting to believe I want to be single for the rest of my life. And I probably will be, because I definitely don't want to be the "dumb" one in the relationship, and I absolutely NEED a partner that I consider smart, that stimulates me with great conversations and that finds my intelligence sexy. Oh well, boys bye.

0kfornow · 2020-05-24T01:38:26+00:00

Definitely a numbers game, the smarter you are the more likely your partner won't be as smart (for men or women)

Men definitely like being with a partner they can manipulate and feel "alpha" in competition with that person.

When they don't get that feeling "they're better than you" they have a meltdown and leave be it due to income, intelligence or attractiveness (after negging you for a while)

xosunnybunn · 2020-05-24T02:58:10+00:00

i read men only like intelligent women if she is as beautiful ( or more beautiful ) as she is intelligent

sadcello · 2020-05-26T10:52:30+00:00

They're like prodigy children who can play piano or violin but completely helpless in everything else they need a mommy to do everything else. They're useless as partners, I'll never date the so called smart man. If my man can't cook or can't fix things he's a just useless manchild. Dump.

diva4lisia · 2020-05-28T03:12:36+00:00

A lot of women want to be stay at home moms and mommy bloggers. A high value man takes care of the mother of his children. LVM and NVM often want a sahm too, but for nefarious reasons. Most men have no value; therefore it is imperative that we show no mercy and work hard. We need to look out for the mothers out there, and teach our daughters to respect themselves and hold out for an hvm or don't have kids. Have a career either way, but a lot of women want to and should be safe when raising their children.

Saitschik · 2020-05-24T10:04:35+00:00

Tough time for them then. Because women are in average much smarter than men and outshine males in rapid speed since the access to education is more or less equal.

Title	Article Discussion - Why Do Smart Men Date Less Intelligent Women?
Author	imtryingtotryhere
Upvotes	59
Comments	46
Date	May 23, 2020 9:35 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gp24lc/article_discussion_why_do_smart_men_date_less/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/article-discussion-why-do-smart-men-date-less.675376 https://theredarchive.com/post/675376

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