Best and Worst Cities for HVM

myousername · 2020-01-30T17:18:49+00:00

Vancouver boys are just that: boys. Cost of living is so high here that it's not uncommon for adult men to live with their parents or roommates well into their 30s. The few men who live on their own are usually so broke they can't afford to properly date, instead they invite you over for "netflix and chill" even on first dates

They act like Tinder is a sex delivery service, like if uber eats sold women instead of food.

typicalpersian · 2020-01-30T18:22:10+00:00

San Francisco, a playground for intelligent youth who are offered $100,000 starting salary straight out of college. Throw in a gray Patagonia sweater, an Aussie shepherd, a far off dream of starting their own company that will change the world, meditation/yoga, rock climbing, and burning man and you’ve got an average man in SF. The city has many late bloomers and the nerds get a chance to reign but it goes to everyone’s heads and nobody is emotionally vulnerable.

WildCricket · 2020-01-30T04:31:22+00:00

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GullibleRaisin · 2020-01-30T02:31:42+00:00

Portland. Where young people go to retire, women don’t value themselves and provide endless pussy to the low value men here.

No diversity and everyone has the same hobbies: hiking, “adventuring” (whatever they fuck that means) and dogs.

It’s a city with no flavor where you can use the outdoors as a replacement for having a personality.

The men are pasty AF and either have granola or neckbeard vibes.

The hot, successful, popular guys have too many options and expect you to chase them or are huge fuckboys.

No one wants to commit, grow up or take responsibility.

Everyone ghosts because it’s so damn passive aggressive and flakey here.

Unemployed, fluffy losers overvalue themselves way too much and actually have the audacity to suggest polyamory. Btw, Portland is poly capital.

Too many sexual deviants.

butterflymeadowzz · 2020-01-30T15:59:19+00:00

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drusillalunarose · 2020-01-31T01:18:27+00:00

Oklahoma City is abysmal for men. They also physically age here at an alarming rate because taking care of yourself isn't considered manly here. Doesn't help its full of "I'm not a feminist because" Pickmeisha women that happily marry and procreate with them.

I'm not a native to Oklahoma but am kind of stuck here now due to cost of living and VA hospital access or else I'd be back on the east coast yesterday. I'm fine dying here single.

rftw2013 · 2020-01-30T02:53:58+00:00

Dallas is chock full of LVM and associated fuckboys. They come in all ages, shapes, and sizes. Women here give it up so easily that the men feel like they don't need to make an effort at all.

Actually, I think the men are like this everywhere now. Prove me wrong, please, ladies.

Myaayu · 2020-01-30T11:24:22+00:00

Tampa, FL: A weird mix of professional athletes, medical students, law students, and your general smattering of “Florida man.” It feels like a city where people are just starting out their life so there was more so a focus on hookup culture than actual relationships.

The downside was that no one really lives in Tampa that hates Florida, or else the last place you would be caught living in was fucking Tampa. Not the worst place for dating, but people were either too immature or too image-conscious for my taste.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-01-30T10:28:57+00:00

The worst I’ve ever seen was in London. You either have trash dudes with no education or complete fuckboys with gelled back blond hair working for a bank. It’s like there’s no in-between.

steingrrrl · 2020-01-30T02:00:20+00:00

Oooh exciting, love this idea!

I'm in Toronto. I find there are quite a few attractive guys in the city and in the suburbs too, but they are very low value. Cocky, rude, only looking for sex without commitment. I think the guys in the suburbs are more willing to commit and will travel to the city for a date, which shows some effort. But most refuse to initiate anything with you, claiming they're shy. Nah you just lazy.

goatismycopilot · 2020-01-30T05:11:47+00:00

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raindampened · 2020-01-30T05:52:51+00:00

Europe Hungary Budapest:

The guys are here are average like not totally LVM but not HVM either. I usually see 1 or 2 well groomed men on public transportation but idk where to meet them. Bc they are not at parties lol. I want to try going to local events to try find them.

The average guy in the city, not on the countryside, is fairly clean but not really stylish but hungarians are usually poor maximum middle class.

Also hungarians still stick to gender roles but not in the right way. The guys still will likely try to be cheap and not take you to a proper dinner date but will absolutely expect you to be his mom, his cleaning lady, his slut all in one person.

The main difference between hungarians and americans is that guys are less likely to be pushy in my experience. Bc in Hungary we don't have the 3 months no sex FDS rule. You get together into a relationship with a guy after a few dates and have sex with him. I think the very maximum is 1 month that people wait here.

So the average guy will likely wait it out for sex but won't be a true HVM. True LVM on the other hand will be pushy.

In my opinion Budapest is not a bad place to find a HVM it's just the numbers game you have to sort through the LVMs. And know where to find HVM.

Personally I see well groomed men who look HVM around universities, certain busy subway stations.

And during the day! During the nights when I went out partying i usually don't see as many well groomed HVM looking men as I do during the day when I roam the same streets in the inner city. So I feel like HVM looking men don't go out to parties that much :/.

IFingHateUsernames12 · 2020-01-30T20:58:11+00:00

Berlin is a bad city to date. Lots of start-up guys with that hipster vibe, wannabe-CEO assholes and people who are really into the famous techno scene, partying and drugs.

Plus a huge kink and poly community. Even people who just recently moved there know it's a bad place for dating.

Every dating app is basically considered as "hit it and quit it" and 90% will try to talk you into unprotected sex or straight up remove a condom during sex!

If you just want to have casual sex 10/10 would recommend, but always have your guards up.

turtleshame · 2020-01-31T19:06:50+00:00

Los Angeles is it’s own special brand of shitshow. It’s like there’s multiple cities occupying the same space. Local vs. temps. For me, avoiding temps made sorting through prospects easier. A lot of people move here to pursue careers as AMW’s so they have a whatever-it-takes mentality combined with not feeling particularly rooted in the community. Plus all the bullshit ego issues because they’re “gonna be famous someday” vs. the black hole of self worth because they haven’t made it yet.

I ended up creating my own version of FDS over a decade ago after realizing my pickmeisha strategy was not working. But I never put names or labels to it until I found you fine ladies. FWIW, it worked for me - I’m now happily married to my HVM, and have a life of interests and friends outside of him. But really, however you define success is the key.

My proto LA FDS:

no second chances, ever. Same as FDS
no AMWs (Actor Musician Whatever) I am not your therapyfuckmommy. I am not your nice girl fallback after you’ve spent the last 15 years trawling through the gutters of Hollywood. GTFO with your drug bloated, almost-famous hair band self.
also no lawyers, agents or really anyone in talent facing entertainment jobs. Waaay to many of those guys got into it to fuck actresses. I once went on a date with an accountant, and all he could talk about was doing payroll for a project Scarlett Johanssen was on. Like, ok buddy I’m excited for you, but this doesn’t work for me.
At least two dates per week with different guys. I was trying to develop an abundance mentality à la redpill to counter my pickmeishaism. It worked. I have friends who ask how I met my HVM, and I tell them this and they’re horrified. Like, OMG, isn’t it exhausting?! How did you meet so many guys? Does your husband know? How can he respect you??
Guuuurl, no I don’t tell him everything. He’s not my priest. If I did, I’m sure he’d be fine with it. He’s not threatened by the Ghost of Dicking Past.
I had my date capsule wardrobe. Easy on in 5 minutes.
Same with make-up / body care / hair removal. If you go in knowing you’re not fucking, shit gets a lot easier.
I never expected 99% of those dates to go anywhere, so my DGAF attitude took the pressure off. I was relaxed and ready to see what he had to offer. I never doubted what I had to offer, after all, I had 2, 3, 4 dates lined up.
I used OLD and I approached guys IRL. It’s easy if you have no expectations beyond personal safety.
no shitshow families. Uncle daddy’s in jail again for fighting with your sister at the dive bar? Neeext. Sure, good apples can come from bad trees, yadda yadda, but why risk it? Why add the stress of Shitty McInlaw as a permanent fixture in your life? Plus the relationship between a man’s mom & dad is a good indication of how he’ll act in a relationship. My Fil massaged my Mil every night, and brought her coffee in bed every morning. Married 65 years. I get tea, foot rubs and respect because that is how he was raised.
likewise, no shitshow friends. I’m a little flexible here, like one or two shitshows that he grew up with & does see that often? Ok maybe. YMMV. But I’m from the “You are the company you keep” school of thought. If he’s hanging out with dirtbags every week end, guess what?
hold something back. Remember in Peter Pan how Mrs. Darling had that one kiss in the corner of her mouth, and Mr. Darling was obsessed with it? It reminded him that she had options.
I preferred dating on the westside, which I defined as west of La Cienega (I know, not strictly accurate). Believe me, I tried everywhere. The westside has an abundance of 3rd, 4th generation Angelenos with normal lives and hobbies. You are more likely to meet people who are local who are invested in their community, plus you’re more likely to meet their friends & family to get a more rounded view of him. Generally older neighborhoods are better, although some are red flags. Like, every guy I dated from BH was an entitled ass, but Bel Air, Baldwin Hills and Pacific Palisades were fine. Venice is a dart toss. Admittedly this could be related to bad luck & my sample size, but still.
no third date collectible sex. LOL, but the amount of dudes that self-sorted into my outbox after failing to score on 3 is funny. Third date sex is de rigueur in LA. It was such a good filter. When I first read FDS and saw the “no sex after 3” rule, I knew you were my people.
expect men to be better. Knowing that you deserve respect is huge. Negging, boundary testing, etc. are automatic nexts - but if you’re in the middle of a date, use the time to sharpen your skills for your next dates. That LVM put himself there by choice, no need to feel pity.
I made a list of the qualities and personality I wanted in a partner. Not just the usual 6x6x6, I made my list very specific - jobs, hobbies, looks, politics, values; I think there were 40+ items on my list. Thing is, there are A LOT of guys out there. Be as specific as you want, you will meet him. It’s not just OK to be choosy, it’s imperative.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-01-30T11:29:14+00:00

Any major city that's poor (ex. Detroit). People tend not to leave so everyone ends up knowing and sleeping with everyone.

em0873 · 2020-01-30T17:28:43+00:00

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cottoncandydr34ms · 2020-01-31T01:51:55+00:00

I live on the PA MD border and I will tell you straight up there is absolutely nothing out here. Not even 2hrs in any direction. Mostly boys who like to hunt, farmers, people with no advancement intentions, elderly, and the only wealthy people are usually Indian and will treat you like dirt just for looking at them. And i’m not even white! the odds really are stacked against us. but I’m happy staying with my parents and dying here if I have to.

em0873 · 2020-01-31T05:29:17+00:00

Cleveland, OH. LOTS of ultra-midwestern guys who are into hunting, IPAs, and chilling with their bros. Many are well educated, but the high achieving guys are almost always fuckboys. As many midwestern cities, though, there are a decent amount of potentially HVMs, but not very attractive (at least not my type, but to each their own). Sort of depends on if you like a guy who owns 10 flannel shirts and has a beard.

steingrrrl · 2020-01-31T19:26:55+00:00

I met my partner in ottawa and imo its a good location for hvm. its not necessarily the most exciting city/glamorous city, but its pretty stable. all of the government and military jobs means guys that have a steady career path. and theres two universities with good graduate programs (one has a med school and a law school), so lots of educated people. a few of my friends from montreal say they notice people in ottawa seem to marry and settle down way sooner than they do in montreal. but of course, just a few opinions, nothing definitive :)

Rachel-Lioness · 2020-01-31T01:22:50+00:00

I'm moving to Kentucky next year. Any FDS ladies have any opinions on Kentucky men? (I apologize if this seems off topic. Wasn't my intention lol. I just didn't see anyone say anything about Kentucky. Closest I saw was Tennessee haha.)

ThrowAway3879284 · 2020-01-31T18:15:57+00:00

Bogotá+Medellín, Colombia

Most men are LVM “machistas” underachievers with bad habits, this comes from men all ages since it’s rooted in society being an alcoholic sexist “macho” fuckboy.

Most men are in a gradient of how much they meet the standard “macho mediocre” criteria.

It’s not a bad city for dating, but a bad one for the population density that consists of these men.

It’s bad city to be a heterosexual woman, but a great one to be a lesbian woman.

Women in these cities are beautiful like no other, have great personalities and are smart as fuck. They are the whole package and more.

Also Medellín and Bogotá are great cities for fashion, don’t come for a “Latin Lover” because these men mostly suck. Come instead for the fashion, it’s very cheap, unique, pretty and on point. If you came across it, you would totally love it!

Kristeninmyskin · 2020-01-30T03:03:59+00:00

I recently reconnected with a HVM that wouldn’t work out years ago due to religious differences, and now, he’s more mellow over the years. So the guys that mellow out over time are a thing haha. Rare but there.

Maybe smaller cities?

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butterflymeadowzz · 2020-02-04T13:41:27+00:00

Whoa, where have I been?

I love this topic!

Title	Best and Worst Cities for HVM
Author	NecessaryCook
Upvotes	38
Comments	80
Date	January 30, 2020 1:47 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/evxhmp/best_and_worst_cities_for_hvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/best-and-worst-cities-for-hvm.683704 https://theredarchive.com/post/683704

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