Caught a man filming me yesterday

SortFree · 2021-03-21T00:39:39+00:00

I'm so sorry 🥺. On how you can handle this, I wouldn't recommend a confrontation seeing how woman have literally died for daring to say no to men. It's honestly such an impossible situation because you could tell men around what happened and most would think it's not such a big deal because a lot of them do this.

Something like this happened to me a few weeks ago except he took a picture. He was walking behind me and had his phone up weirdly then I heard the camera shot sound. He definitely wasn't taking a selfie. I felt exactly like you felt and I didn't do anything just for my safety because he was quite large and I'm small.

Kimpractical · 2021-03-21T00:42:30+00:00

I would have parked in a different spot before leaving and called the cops. It’s weird that he was sitting in his car the whole time. Who knows what else he was planning to do besides recording on his phone. Abductions happen more often in parking lots and maybe he was in contact with other people if it was a group thing. Stay safe out there!

thepsychopathhunter · 2021-03-21T00:55:08+00:00

So sorry that happened to you. Yes, it happened to me a couple weeks ago. A guy saw me sitting on a park bench and started coming toward me after creepily staring at me. I got up and left, walked far away and sat on a different bench. He followed me there too and started taking pictures of my legs. Instinctively, I began photographing him taking pics of me and used it to document the harassment and later expose him. It happens more often than we think. I know it feels very violating. Sending you virtual hugs.

2021-03-21T01:24:50+00:00

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wondertarget · 2021-03-21T02:47:22+00:00

A few weeks ago I was at the gym running on the treadmill. I was wearing tight-ish yoga pants and a crop top because the owner keeps it a bit toasty in the place.

While looking in the mirror I saw a guy sitting behind me on a stationary bike CLEARLY recording my butt. I hopped off, told the front desk girl, and she had him show her the recording (and delete it). Haven't seen him since.

This is in South Korea, by the way.

2021-03-21T01:38:29+00:00

This just reinforces ‘the grin’ as a red flag in the handbook. Men are disgusting

2021-03-21T02:54:00+00:00

This happened to me and my best friends on Halloween. We went out and I saw an old man videotaping us and giggling to himself. I was a bit drunk and fury + inebriation emboldened me enough to confront him.

What I will never forget about that moment is how he went from old man with shit eating grin to sheepish victim. This was the interaction:

“Are you fucking recording us?” “Uh uh... no.” “Let me see your phone” hands his phone over to me “This is all pictures of us. Delete them.” “Okay...” deletes one I took his phone back and selected and deleted every photo of us (maybe about 50 photos), handed him back his phone, and walked away.

I told security about the incident and they asked him to leave and he left without a fuss. He probably had them backed up to his cloud which still upsets me but the way he just ... cowered when I confronted him will stick with me forever.

Meccha_me_2 · 2021-03-21T00:59:42+00:00

Holy shit I’m so sorry. Being a woman is so scary

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-21T04:06:28+00:00

Photo of his license plate. Report to local and corporate of the store. Police report. Hell, pay for a quick background check on him and get your affairs in order for a restraining order or cease and desist. We do not tolerate this.

hurhah · 2021-03-21T00:52:17+00:00

Ugh sorry. I haven’t had the exact same situation but I’ve been followed or creeped out in other ways, and I do that same scowl and then remove myself immediately. I wish I had better advice for you.

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2021-03-21T04:59:06+00:00

Like rape, this is not about how you looked...

It's not about what she was wearing or if she is attractive (or not).

Rape is about power. Rape is about stealing something from you against your will.

This may not be rape, but it is a violation none-the-less. Yes, maybe it isn't technically illegal, but because we know what these men do with these images, and the power of technology and the internet today, it bloody well should be.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-03-21T04:56:58+00:00

Yeah. The guy kept following me around a parking lot in his car and parking next to my car. I was in a shopping plaza and had visited several stores.

I was freaked but got out to run my final errand at a grocery store. I got out of my car and looked into his. He was sitting in the driver's seat with his penis out. I went into the store, completely freaked out but I completed my errands because I didn't like the idea of some rando weirdo interrupting my schedule. I asked a store manager to walk me back to my car. He was still out there, parked next to my vehicle. I was afraid he'd follow me home. I asked the manager ( who I informed about the situation) to stand next to me while I took a picture of his car and license plate with my phone. The perv caught wind of what I was doing and sped off. The manager, who couldn't be older than 22, was gobsmacked. He kept saying, "Oh wow." Then: "Too late for you pal! She got you!" I called the cops and gave them his license plate number. The cops never bothered calling me back.

eatchickpeas · 2021-03-21T04:10:41+00:00

they want attention, he enjoy how violated you feel and they are brazen because they rely on women being so shocked that they dont know how to react. ive had one man follow me through a store and he took photos of me, kept trying to say hello. this man was at least 40 and i was 19 at the time. i ignored him because honestly nothing would have happened but an older woman saw what was happening and came to help me. in these situations men NEVER help, they just stare but women always have your back

corago513 · 2021-03-21T02:01:44+00:00

All these stories I'm reading about today and people wonder why I prefer to stay home. So so sad and dangerous.

Ruby_5lipper · 2021-03-21T01:55:27+00:00

Asshat dudes like this feel entitled to do whatever the hell they want with women. It doesn't matter what YOU think you look like - messy hair, no makeup, etc. All the 'standard' things many women think men want, most men don't care about. That's not what turns their sexual crank. But the point is IT DOESN'T MATTER what turns their crank. What matters is this asshat dude thought he could get whatever he needs from you by filming you.

I would have flipped the script on him and taken a bunch of cell pics of him, the license plate of his car (if visible) and let him know I'm taking the pics to local police to report him. I wouldn't have done that if I was outside of my car, on foot, but once inside the safety of my car, I would have snapped some pics and then followed up by reporting him.

Most likely, law enforcement wouldn't do much, but at least you could file a report and hopefully give them evidence so they have something on file for this guy. And perhaps your response would at least shake the guy up enough to never try that shit with anyone else again.

BlackGirlKnickers · 2021-03-21T01:18:20+00:00

This happened to me when I was walking to the light rail. An RTD worker had a camera and as I walked by he took a picture. I knew it was of me by how me was positioned. I called him out and he said he was taking pics of the track. I screamed ' I'm nowhere near the track you fucking perv'. I sat down waiting for the train and he took another picture, but this time another woman who was walking by saw it and told me. He was driving one of the company cars so I called RTD to file a complaint to the driver of car number xxx. I doubt he was even reprimanded.

I felt so violated and I already looked crazy yelling at a dude 7 something in the morning. That helpless feeling is so infuriating.

Any_Ad_3499 · 2021-03-21T01:54:56+00:00

I can relate to this 1000%. At my old job, there was this older man who worked in the office suite down the hall from mine. I started to notice that whenever I would take my lunch break so would he...I quickly convinced myself that it was just coincidence. No big deal. A few weeks went by and this behavior continued. My gut feeling was I was being followed but I didn’t have proof... Well it was until one day that I CAUGHT HIM FOLLOWING ME through the building and caught him flat out filming me! He was also caught on the building security cameras which thank god, made the situation much worse for him. Luckily my company handled the situation in a very appropriate matter and took legal measures against the man.

Safe to say I know how OP feels. It was the worst feeling in the world (at the time). I felt so violated and angry. How could someone do such a thing over and over again? I was in my early 20’s and didn’t know better (Pre-FDS).

To my point, men have no limits and no shame. It’s disgusting. I’m so happy I came across FDS last year. It has truly taught me to have tough boundaries and trust NO MAN!

veryfemale · 2021-03-21T00:19:38+00:00

Very obviously walk up to him, photograph him, his car, and his license plate. Quid pro quo.

2021-03-21T01:50:02+00:00

when i was 15 an old man filmed me walking. its so fucking weird and creepy

NotSoSmartChick · 2021-03-21T05:59:46+00:00

It’s a long story, but the adult son of a woman I was friends with in school was recently arrested for murdering a woman and dumping her body. Tons of videos were found on his cell, he would casually film women in our area that were going about their business.

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-03-21T04:40:16+00:00

I would have started filming and posted it online and gone to the police. Every report against him counts against him if anything happens.

Perrytheplatypus03 · 2021-03-21T09:22:06+00:00

Yes. A few times actually -.- mostly on the beach. And I just don't get it. Last time my friend and I ran the guy down and demanded he deleted it. Once I was eating at a cafe and a dude took pictures of me. I ran him down and saw him delete the pictures. I'm done just letting it slide. And seriously, I'm so average looking, I just don't get it.

New_Article7411 · 2021-03-21T10:25:58+00:00

I view this as the same as the post about the woman who was randomly spit on by a man. You probably seemed confident and comfortable with yourself, and he got off on making you feel violated and degraded. To take you down a peg.

mjkmeow83 · 2021-03-21T14:17:01+00:00

Years ago at work I had a male coworker take a picture of me. He didn’t realize his phone wasn’t on silent so I heard him do it. I had on my normal work clothes and I even wear an apron so I was extra covered but still he felt entitled. I mentioned it to another coworker but nothing ever happened. Luckily for me he was fired shortly after for attendance.

Professional-Pea-317 · 2021-03-21T19:52:43+00:00

You should still go to the police and file a report just in case anything else happens you have a record. It sounds like this is actually a form of harrassment. Insist on filing if you get a NVM/LVM cop (theyre very common).

ALSO PLEASE FILM/PHOTOGRAPH LICENCE PLATE.

entpgirl415 · 2021-03-21T20:08:30+00:00

Wanna know what’s even nastier and baffles me more than men doing this? The fact that dailymail basically approved of it and tried to normalize it by creating a “funny” article of a man looking through dozens of pictures of random women he took in public and one of them was cardi b before she got famous! “Like what were the odds?” 🤢🤢

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-03-21T13:24:40+00:00

I wonder why people still bring up the "sexy clothing"- crap when it is clear it is not about having the sexy look, it is not about the clothing, it is about the act of sexulizing someone and/or the process of instilling fear into someone. This can be done with everyone and everything, no one has to look or act a certain way for such horrible actions to take place. I'm really sorry this happened to you. Maybe you can photograph his license plate (if safe) and take the issue to the store managers or police if that ever happens again.

Crit-a-Cola · 2021-03-21T21:27:23+00:00

When I was in highschool, nearly every single day I had my bullies approach me and try to get me to speak to them. They thought everything I said was the most hilariously cringe or embarrassing shit. I would sit there, and try to have a normal conversation in the back of math class and they would just laugh hysterically because haha look at the shy weird awkward girl. It made no sense to me either why they treated me like this. Some men are assholes.

The thing that bewilders me the most is that I had just gotten off work. I wasn't dolled up, no makeup, no provocative clothes in the slightest. I work as an industrial painter in a machine shop, so I just had on a sweatshirt, jeans, steel toed boots, and a pulled back bun. Nothing remotely sexy.

So, please. I'm telling you, reconsider the way you wrote this. How you said this betrays the very truth of how you look at things. You want to know what you did wrong. But there is NOTHING wrong. You didn't do ANYTHING to deserve this. It does not MATTER if there's a single fucking thing you could have done. You could have been dolled up to the max, amazing super model. There's no fucking reason creepy fucks should go and record you. Don't you believe for even a second anything you did could be the cause of male degeneracy. I was raped as a child multiple times and coerced again and again. Some men are fucking sick. Some PEOPLE are fucking sick.

My best advice is process this. Accept that this situation happened, and do your best to understand that he's a freak. Just something to be leery of, not to be eternally scared of. That not all people are like him.

Then, in the future you take action against these pieces of shit. Call 911 immediately and carry pepper spray. Like others have said, this could have been someone looking to abduct. Actual freak. Also, getting his license plate would help for your report. I'm so, so sorry you suffered through this.

2021-03-22T06:52:25+00:00

Yep, when I was in Mexico a few years ago with a friend. We were at one of those all inclusive resorts that have like 5 restaurants and 6 bars on campus so you never have to leave.

Friend was staying up at the room and she was tired. I wanted to go see the show they were putting on that evening in their live entertainment venue. I go down to the venue to see that I arrived about 20 minutes too early. There also happen to be two young men waiting near the theater as well. No matter, I walk to a different area to sit and wait. I notice these guys maybe 20 yards behind me going in the same direction. I decide to go outside to sit and wait instead. Theyre still following. The outside commons was right next to the casual buffet restaurant, I decide to pop inside and grab a meal (and to see if they'll follow me in here). These motherfuckers see that I went into the restaurant, then sit outside the restaurant on some nearby chairs and wait for me. I finish my short meal and go back to the theater for the show. I find some staff there and let them know that these guys have been following me for the past 45 minutes. The staff is like "no worries stick with us" and the guys promptly fuck off when they realize what I've done.

Oh and to top it off my phone broke that week due to the intense humidity so I didn't have a phone on me lmao.

islandmaiden · 2021-03-21T13:53:32+00:00

I would've filmed him too, sis. Took a picture of his license plate as I drive away and then call the police.

Title	Caught a man filming me yesterday
Author	loserinasweater
Upvotes	295
Comments	45
Date	March 21, 2021 12:09 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m9jqf0/caught_a_man_filming_me_yesterday/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/caught-a-man-filming-me-yesterday.1190189 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190189

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