DATING OLDER MEN :Why it doesnt age well

Platipus6 · 2021-03-22T23:45:56+00:00

Men who retire before you are the worst

They're boring, bored, needy, clingy, and obsessed with penny pinching. They have loads of time and haven't thought about how to spend it, or cultivated any hobbies. They're up your ass, whining, and expect you to entertain them after you get home from your full-time job. You can't maintain friendships because captain clingo here lost all his work acquaintances and he wants to tag along and be the King of his new harem - your friends, who find him mightily uncomfortable. They don't help out around the house because they "earned" the right to relax now. They do nothing.

Charming-Bee-2337 · 2021-03-22T23:27:35+00:00

Old men only want young women because they like to brag about being able to bag a young woman, plus the other reasons you stated. Theres a power imbalance and they know it.

Mcccy · 2021-03-22T23:46:16+00:00

Yes at all. Also what I can't stand seeing anymore is the whole "Guys your age are immature, go for older guys!" No.

No. Guys aren't "immature" when it comes to jobs. They aren't "childish" when they are asked to lead or to give their opinions.

They can act their age, they choose not to. The're logical guys out there my age that act like women my age do and I'll stick to them thank you.

Worldly_Sell · 2021-03-23T03:30:23+00:00

The most horrible stories I’ve heard about women staying in age gape relationships are when she ends up playing part time nurse to a man with failing health. I’d gladly grow old with a man and we help pick up the pieces from each other but wasting my 40s/50s caring for a scrote, I can’t imagine, I wouldn’t do it. I think a lot of women for whatever reason fail to think strategic and just marry for whatever benefit/feeling they have currently. Men almost never do this, if he’s marrying you its 95% for his benefit.

Astral_weaver · 2021-03-23T06:45:43+00:00

When I was younger I was groomed by older partners and I feel immense rage for having no one to point out how this was a loss situation for me.

Recently I had a discussion about that matter with my therapist and she clearly stated that "men who date younger women have not much to offer in the relationship and are full of insecurities." Additionally they always seek out for people that come from broken homes, like mine, so having an insignificant support network, and we all know how this goes.

Now that I'm in my late 20s, doing well and properly taking care myself I feel total disgust for older men. Would rather date my age, date a little bit younger or don't date at all. Even slightly older men are out of the question for me, because I still look much younger than my age and they get delusional ideas that can have their way with me.

lillylilacladybug · 2021-03-22T23:02:32+00:00

I am so over the tired and weak ass “you don’t want to die alone” trope. First of all on a purely face value interpretation everyone dies alone. It’s not like being dropped off at the hospital for surgery. No one dies with you and comes back like “yea she got there alright.”

But second, almost no one knows the hour of their death so who can guarantee you won’t be alone in your last hours. You could be married to the love of your life and die alone in a car accident. You could never be married and die surrounded by friends. I understand the argument is made that marriage increases your chances of not dying alone but realistically by how much? If it’s enough to force you into an unfulfilling marriage than in many ways you’re already alone.

moonartemis1989 · 2021-03-23T06:14:02+00:00

A middle-aged man who goes after young women doesn't have pure intentions. They're all low-value

ALISHAISHERE123 · 2021-03-23T02:43:07+00:00

Omfg do not read the article. She fantasized about teachers bending her over I can’t I can’t 🤢🤢🤢

Lavender_flow · 2021-03-23T08:48:25+00:00

" We were also both newly into BDSM, which realistically was a more significant point of connection than I’d had with most of my age-appropriate exes. "

From the article. You can tell she is insecure AF and pickme galore, because she isn't like "classic pretty" so I am like 99% sure she always tried too hard, the way she poses in the photos looks so try hard and despite that, she looks really insecure. If she would just embrace other women and stop being such a pickme, she would feel so much more secure in herself, because once you stop measuring your worth from male attention, you just grow as a person.

Unfortunately I think women like her and pick-monique are lost causes. They have built their career on giving BJ's and catering to the patriarchy and I think they don't even give a tiny rat's ass about other women, they will gladly step on them to get ahead. They are the enemies of women, because they give piss poor advice which only benefits men, while throwing other women under the bus.

I highly doubt pickme's once they reach that level, will ever change.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-03-23T01:22:45+00:00

The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible.

What the hell is going on? Power imbalances are almost always abusive. How is that something to rave about?

He gave me helpful advice on my career (“Don’t fuck your boss”) and about sex (“Stop screaming”). He also taught me what a 401(k) was. It was like an apprenticeship for life.

Why is this considered groundbreaking advice? There are podcasts on unhealthy work dynamics and 401ks. I'm in my 20s and I know what a 401k is.

Whenever the Older Man and I went out, he chose the restaurant. For dates, it was never a question whether he would pay, because I plainly couldn’t afford his lifestyle, and he vetoed the consumption of bodega buffets. He refused to come to my apartment (I had several thousand roommates), so we’d always hang at his place.

Shows major lack of respect and a condescending attitude. She doesn't even have a say in the restaurant, what if she doesn't want to go there? LOL. Refused to come to my apartment. How lovely.

He controlled the relationship, at least superficially. I quickly learned that constantly feeling like a dependent child can be a real boner-killer. Like, I want to want you, not rely on you . . . and then feel like I owe you a blow job as payback for the guacamole.

Major unhealthy dynamic.

drownthemout · 2021-03-23T15:51:38+00:00

Dating someone your age or slightly younger is the best in my opinion, especially in your 20s. Don't let old guys prey on you. Young guys are fit, in a better place mentally usually and (hopefully) on your level (or above, taking into consideration their privilege) financially and career wise. They are also less set in their ways. My current boyfriend is a bit younger than me and our relationship is amazing! We're both in our 20s, decently fit and groomed, with money to spend on nice dates and trips. I used to work with a guy in his 50s on a project, and while he took care of himself (went to the gym, nice clothes etc) he still had a sort of smell about him, and so little vitality. I would never date an old man.

moonartemis1989 · 2021-03-23T11:29:37+00:00

one of my mom's best friends is in her 50s, i went to school with her son and we're in our mid 20s. she married a guy who's now in his late 70s and guess what...

she's his caretaker. at an age where other women finally have all kids out of the house and all the time in the world to enjoy themselves and their hobbies, marriages, lives. but that's not the end of it.

not only did she set herself up for being a full-time caretaker and being single in her 60s and on - her son will inevitably have to deal with losing his dad before he's even 30. and guess whose dad wasn't ever present during his childhood because he just didn't have the energy being 50+? if you want to have kids with old men, think of that.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-03-23T15:24:29+00:00

I uses to date at age gaps because I used to believe (used to, key word) that they are ready to settle down, more mature, more financially stable and responsible. How wrong I was. I even tricked myself.into thinking older men were more attractive. Now when older men hit on me, it knits my stomach up and I have an automatic "eww" reaction. Men who are middle aged and divorced/single are broken in general. Add to that those who have a track record of only dating younger women. They were the most irresponsible, manipulative, volatile, unstable man children I've ever come across.

Adding to this, men are often outlived by women. Throw in a wage gap, financial abuse, and motherhood penalties, and most women would be considered lucky to have saved a single dime for retirement. Women are way more likely to be in dire poverty and face homelessness as seniors. Most likely, these men have left every penny and all of his real estate in his will for his adult children and grandchildren. Many young widows are shocked when there isn't anything left for them at all.

Many older men who date younger women (or grosser still, teenaged girls) are broke af. It's not hard to impress a highschool student with a leased truck they're in debt for and a mortgage they can barely afford (which they'll omit the actual debt they're in). If they pay for a date (that's a big "if", because EqUaLiTy), it will be a cheap chain restaurant or a bar date and meals are only ordered off the appetizer menu. Most of these "dates" are paid for on an almost maxed out credit card.

The power imbalance; that's the big one. They've had a decade or two (or three) on you in life experience. They've had all this time to stockpile a whole arsenal of abuse tactics and mask their behaviors just long enough to get young women and girls hooked. They know how women and girls have been conditioned. And they exploit it to the max. They know very well that young women's brains are still in a rapid development mode (26 or so, hence "the Wall^TM at 25"), and they want someone to shape, mold, contort, and twist into what they want. And once you're all twisted up, they tire and discard for another "malleable" mind.

moonartemis1989 · 2021-03-23T11:41:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-03-23T15:12:37+00:00

Wtf was this vogue article. Purely shit.

switchitbitch · 2021-03-23T15:17:32+00:00

It’s a mercy when your older scrote husband dies wayyyyy before you do.

Title	DATING OLDER MEN :Why it doesnt age well
Author	moonartemis1989
Upvotes	382
Comments	54
Date	March 22, 2021 10:44 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mb02nc/dating_older_men_why_it_doesnt_age_well/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dating-older-men-why-it-doesnt-age-well.1189784 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189784

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