My former friend used to tell me "He asked you out! You should go." And I would sit there unsure about him telling her, "well I don't really find him that attractive." Or, "doesn't he hookup with K every weekend? It seems like they have something going on." Or I'd say, "im unsure about him. I don't really know him that well and I don't know if I want to sit through a dinner just yet."
Then she would give me these responses: he would be good practice, and it's a free dinner. You'll get a feel for dating again.
Looking back, she was a massive pickme and had a pattern of dating men she wasn't attracted to and wasted a lot of her own time and efforts this way. When a higher quality man came along, he had heard she was dating others or she already had dates booked with the men she was "just practicing" with, so he would not bother.
The thing is you need to have standards: first there needs to be a level of physical attraction (before even getting to know him as a potential date) and secondly he needs to pass basic vetting BEFORE going to dinner.
You do NOT need "practice" if you know your standards. You have to be yourself on a date but also have boundaries and listen and not give him any "ammo" (past traumas, vulnerabilities, details about exes, too much about your self and your locations). If you read FDS you'll get a good understanding of how to really use the predate vetting to get a gauge for him. Plus I've found that the predate calls are enough "practice"
You aren't going on dates because you need a free meal like he's a soup Kitchen. The date isn't about the food. It's about sitting down in a comfy yet more public environmental and getting to know him and see how his behavior is in person, to you and the staff.
Dates are a lot of time and energy on your part - you can't just agree. They need to be someone that you do find attractive and that passed basic vetting. Stop using your energy over a meh guy as you close yourself off to the HVM.
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