HELL YA!!

HermitVoyeur · 2020-02-23T17:36:03+00:00

This is how I feel about my relationship with the gym. I get back exactly what I put into it.

donanat · 2020-02-23T15:30:54+00:00

After broke up with an asshole that really made me feel like shit and that nobody will love me because "I am a crazy girl's I've finished my masters and was accepted at the doctorate to get my phd. He is probably still working at the job that he is always complaining (a family business) and playing his stupid games. I'm glad he is not part of my life anymore.

ivy176 · 2020-02-23T23:54:12+00:00

Well, careers can suddenly leave you if you're made redundant. I noticed the US has really lax laws when it comes to firing employees compared to here too. Businesses/entrepreneurial pursuits can crash and burn unexpectedly, etc.

I tried to pour myself into career. I studied for 9 years. I regret it, just like I regret my ex marriage. I feel like that marriage and some of my degrees shaved years off my life from stress and I regret it all, I just stuck with that entire phase of my life because of a sunk cost fallacy attitude.

I finished another degree which was so hard to get through, very high expectations from supervisors, high contact hours, loads of clinical practice which was like working for free and your bosses are telling you you're never good enough, shitty career opportunities afterward, not respected by society... etc. I was also working and supporting my ex husband and paying all our bills, plus suffering domestic violence.

I decided that I was going to put in my all to get high distinctions to try and get into medicine. I thought, I can push myself through anything! I WILL have a great career! I'll kick my husband out and I'll have a career that NOBODY could ever disrespect me for.

Then I got sick. With autoimmune conditions, fatigue, nausea, pain and all this fun stuff. Stress can seriously fuck up your body.

Despite feeling like I was half dying every day, I kicked my ex husband out, finished my degree in Sunk Cost Fallacy Science and then started working 2 jobs. I kept my old job because it was stable and I'd worked up to a good hourly rate, and I was trying out other jobs in the new degree industry. The new job was awful, it involved being stuck in a room with no window for 8 hours in this beautiful upmarket clinic. I kept forcing through each day, telling myself that having the title clinical therapist was better than being "carer" or "aged care worker" that no one respects. I would do shifts at my old job where we'd all wear sneakers and people were down to earth... then I'd travel into the city and work in yuppyville in that expensive window-less box.. then my boss had the nerve to say that my clothes are not expensive enough for the image they're going for and that I need to lose a lot of weight. She was also a flake changing her mind about things relating to my employment so I thought fuck this and quit.

I went back to my old job that people sometimes view as being a "butt wiper" and say it's no career at all. You can even work here with no qualifications but they prefer you have some.

But I make a decent income for part time work. I get to work in a home like environment where I get there and start cooking dinner and making cute little lunches for people for the next day, do some cleaning, then people get home and I offer them drinks/snacks and talk to them about their day, I help them with some tasks and I actively engage them in tasks around the home to develop their independence. Since I've worked at this one site, I've had family members visit and say, "Wow, I have never seen my brother do that by himself before" or "I can't believe my son just put his own plate in the dishwasher". These are people with very profound intellectual disabilities who people said could never do this and never do that. I find that rewarding and I think I have a respectable career and I enjoy it most of the time.

I gave up on all that high powered stuff and I'm glad I did. Not saying anyone else should, it can be very beneficial and rewarding to have a good corporate career. But just saying that a career doesn't have to look like that. And we can throw ourselves into careers just like we can throw ourselves unto bad relationships, and they can both fail. I don't think we should view it like women should be making 6 figures if they're single or don't have kids. Careers can inhibit your emotional and spiritual growth and not be good for your lifestyle in some cases. You might not realize it's not working for you until there's a big crisis. Because we tend to think we can live off stress and even find stress exhilarating when we're young. Then.. things can change. You can burn out. And burn out can be a shit load more than just needing time off or a holiday, it can cause permanent physical and mental effects.

So, sorry about my rant and I do congratulate every woman who's got a great career but I just wanted to add my experience for those here who might be having career difficulties.

I think it's better to focus on internal strength and stability rather than look for external things to fill up all our time and validate who we are. Career, relationship, hobbies, gym/fitness... these are all things than can be ripped away from you. That sounds so bleak but this is what people learn when they get an acute or chronic debilitating illness. It's no good basing all your identity off these things, off being an extremely busy woman with a life crammed full of achievements, if you're not also working on the inside, and loving yoyrself on the inside. Just because I have seen some women have it all together and be very strong and confident, but injury/illness ripped them apart emotionally even worse because they placed so much of their identity and value in their career, high fitness levels, being GOOD at so many things or even being the best.

Sorry, that might come across as a total downer but I'm in my 30s and have chronic illness so my views will be a bit different

donanat · 2020-02-23T18:36:01+00:00

The comic illustration is from @violetclair. Her instagram is amazing and she is amazing artist ❤

pixeldustpros · 2020-02-23T19:50:56+00:00

He told me he would leave me if I finished studying (I never finished my degree because of him).

I proceeded to finish studying. Bye Felicia.

latsyrhc · 2020-02-23T18:40:50+00:00

I have an interview with a Fortune 500 company on Wednesday ❤️

After my ex told me I'm not strong enough to go after what I want. Mmmmkay.

sarahselfridge · 2020-02-23T18:55:03+00:00

Same wisdom from Lady Gaga:

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.”

Wiggy_Bop · 2020-02-23T16:45:05+00:00

[deleted]

ruby_radmuppet · 2020-02-23T16:19:55+00:00

I disagree with this message. Especially as women, we are subject to sexism and discrimination that may throw our careers for a loop at any time. The best thing to do is trust yourself, become like a cat able to right herself after any fall, and adapt to the ever changing world. If you know and believe your value and skills, you can find a way to survive anything.

The average person changes careers at least 3-5 times in their lifetime.

Lady__stoneheart · 2020-02-23T17:51:49+00:00

I've just started a job, and it's a job I love. This post makes me feel good 💕

donanat · 2020-02-23T17:38:50+00:00

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missand_ryca · 2020-02-23T20:44:35+00:00

I’m going great at my job, doing driving lessons and will start at college this month, and my goal is to never depend on some asshole for nothing!

letsberealforamoment · 2020-02-23T20:49:28+00:00

Always bet on yourself!

bambamdum · 2020-02-23T16:04:06+00:00

My new wallpaper on phone!!! ;)

CyanCayenne · 2020-02-24T02:39:56+00:00

[deleted]

poisoncrackers · 2020-02-23T22:22:29+00:00

My mom always told me to have a career of my own and never NEED to depend on a man financially...a trap she got stuck in by my manipulative ex step father. I have a masters and have been in the counseling field for 10 years now. No matter what, I can get a job in my field.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-02-23T22:59:08+00:00

I work with an autistic boy at an elementary school and I love my job. I want to become an elementary school teacher one day. Now I don’t make that much, but ever since I started working, I have felt much better mentally. Like my moods are better at school, versus at home... and I don’t feel very dependent on my man anymore.

giniep · 2020-02-24T03:28:21+00:00

check out the artist!!! I just started following her on Instagram and she is female power GOALS!

2020-02-26T09:12:14+00:00

My new phone wallpaper. Lvm’s only hold us back!

Title	HELL YA!!
Author	donanat
Upvotes	1781
Comments	82
Date	February 23, 2020 3:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f8atl0/hell_ya/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hell-ya.681685 https://theredarchive.com/post/681685

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