Here on FDS we lament the reality that so many men are unsalvageable because they will not take the initiative and self-responsibility to get into therapy and fix their sh*t. 100% valid and true. However, all the therapy in the world will not replace or fix the absence of an actual moral framework that demands treating other people like human beings worthy of care and respect.

Therapy helps us work through trauma, identify possible mental illnesses, untangle strands of our childhood that keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns, etc. But I know we've all met men who can (and will) talk at length about their id or inner child or attachment style or *insert therapy buzzword here* and are still terrible, self-centered people. In fact, therapy can exacerbate self-absorption in some people and make them less empathetic (especially if they have any tendencies toward narcissism).

Healthy morality or an ethical code can come from any number of frameworks. A lot of folks get it from religion or a faith tradition. (Many religions also reinforce patriarchy, but that's another post.) A lot of folks get it from a "spiritual but not religious" pathway where they put together aspects of many traditions or practices that work for them. There are any number of deeply ethical atheists or agnostics who build their morality from philosophical traditions. You can even get an ethical code from membership in a secular community--"this is what it means to be a Jayhawk or a member of Phi Beta Chi" or "these are English/American/Nigerian/Chinese cultural values and I conduct myself according to them."

It doesn't matter how you get there, but here's the thing: if you are not consciously following a moral framework, you will function within the default moral framework of society. And the default moral framework of society is to exploit and use women. So if a man is in therapy but still functions according to the default framework, he can be incredibly articulate about his own psychological dynamics and still be an absolute d*ck to you. Therapy won't save the day without a conscious moral code in place.

One thing that is characteristic of all faith-based and secular ethical codes: moral behavior requires sacrifice. At some point in your day, you are going to have to sacrifice your own convenience or interest for the good of someone else, because their need outweighs your own, or simply because you care for, respect, or love them. And men are not socialized to sacrifice anything, ever. Their convenience and well-being is literally the only lens they're trained to see through. Our well-being is secondary at best and usually actually invisible to them. (Whereas we are trained to self-sacrifice from childhood, so often women's responsibility to grow ethically is actually to become less blindly giving.)

In conclusion, your honor, I believe men need moral and ethical rehabilitation as much as they need psychological rehabilitation. The prosecution rests.