I’m slowly learning that I’d rather be single

traditsh · 2020-01-09T17:22:12+00:00

It's better to be single than in the wrong relationship.

stackofwits · 2020-01-09T20:18:41+00:00

My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.

— Warsan Shire

Haltthemoon · 2020-01-09T19:05:10+00:00

This is so true. I'm starting to sound like the stereotypical old and bitter woman to my younger girlfriends. However, I refuse to stay silent. They need to see the damn light.

wearekinetic · 2020-01-09T20:55:04+00:00

It was a really rough transition, but holy cow, I am headed into my work’s busy season right now and wow, it is SO nice not having constant anxiety over someone who could give a fuck about my feelings. I can just exist peacefully.

nalia1rebel · 2020-01-09T17:27:05+00:00

Loving the single life so far

9penguin · 2020-01-09T18:58:51+00:00

I don't care, I tell them the way it is. True friends appreciate honesty. I told a girl her boyfriend is likely a pornsick guy and porn will be the end of their relationship. She told me, "Nooo, porn is healthy, he's not like that, blah blah." Guess who got divorced because her husband watched porn in front of their newborn baby? Now she understands why I'd rather be single than be like her.

levelupcleverup · 2020-01-09T21:03:20+00:00

No advice I’ve ever given to a girl who’s being played, abused, cheated on or WHATEVER has ever led to them leaving the relationship, so 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’ll enjoy my big bed, skin care routine, and increasing credit score thanks👍.

BasieSkanks · 2020-01-09T23:08:18+00:00

Society has done a fantastic job of telling women that it’s better to settle for a shit relationship than be alone.

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2020-01-09T22:18:39+00:00

This is how so-called “cool” mothers look at their teenage daughters’ with their boyfriends.

littytitty00 · 2020-01-10T05:01:36+00:00

[deleted]

2020-01-09T19:11:58+00:00

At a time when in my early 20s, I had never been in a relationship. I never went looking for a guy, and the ones around me were not worth my time and effort. My lack of experience was always the reason why my friends refused to listen to me and see how shitty their relationships were. It is truly sad. The fuckin’ LVMs all around.

jazzyjazcons · 2020-01-09T21:09:30+00:00

Oh my god! This is probably my biggest pet peeve! I can’t stand insecure women who always think a single woman giving them advice is bitter, jealous of their relationship.

I’ve actually broken up with a couple of girlfriends because of this. Like if you think I am such a bad person as to give you bad advice and break up your relationship, why are you even friends with me? You can’t have it both ways, want to be friends and at the same time think I am the bitter woman who is working to ruin your relationship.

Interestingly, the first girlfriend who accused me of this was dating a lazy LVM single dad and college drop out , 10 years her senior who couldn’t even afford to put food on the table for them. And this is a woman who wanted to be a stay at home mom (nothing wrong with that). But sis, you obviously won’t be able to afford rent on his dime alone. Either reconsider being a stay at home mom (which I know you won’t) or drop him! Funny thing is years prior, dude tried to get with me. I turned him down. If I wanted your LVM boyfriend, I would have him. So not jealousy, just common sense.

The second girlfriend was also the type whose primary life goal was to get married but was dating a LVM in his 30’s who made $9/hour and was cheating on her. She knew but stuck around. So I decided to hook her up with another dude I knew since she didn’t have the courage to leave her LVM, by her own accord. But she was the type who was too proud to be hooked up. So to get the ball rolling, I invited her to my place and made sure the guy would just happen to be there. Unfortunately, the guy didn’t find her attractive, so I had to do a lot of hand holding to get him to agree to date her. Then again, she didn’t know any of the stuff I did in the background to get the ball rolling. She really thought that the guy saw her at my place by coincidence and got hooked. Whatever, I am patting myself on the back ‘cause I succeeded in getting her away from her previous LVM.

About a month into the new relationship with the guy I hooked her up, she accused me, in public of being jealous of her because she “had a man” and I was single(by choice as I just dumped the dude I was seeing). She said I was trying to break up her new relationship. Excuse me? What? The relationship that I worked full-time to get going? So at this point, I am done. I pull up the receipts and proceed to show everyone how I convinced her new guy that looks are not as important in a relationship what matters is that she would be willing to be a step mom to his two kids. Well, all this was news to her. She got mad at me and said I owed her an apology for embarrassing her like that in front of people. Well, you asked for it! What was I supposed to do? Let you paint me as some bitter woman? Anyways, we exchanged words and parted. A week later, she called wanting to “talk” so we can “repair” the trust. Nope, too late. Have a nice life!

snail-post · 2020-01-09T20:01:40+00:00

I think telling them your opinion truthfully is not a bad thing. They might not accept your point of view but that's ok. Just be there for your friends when shits going down in that doomed relationship.

Silky_Goldfish · 2020-01-09T22:27:05+00:00

Nah, it doesn't matter if you are single or not, they won't listen to you. All my friends are amazed with my fiancé, yet they won't break up with their trash boyfriends, no matter how hard I try to warn them.

They complain about their boyfriends being lazy, having pictures of other girls on their phone, sleeping at their "platonic" female friend's apartment, being emotionally abusive, and the list goes on. About 3 of them told me at one point, that they wish they had a man like my fiancé in their lives, but my advice still worth nothing and they stay with their trash boyfriends.

They complain (sometimes straight out ask for my advice), I tell them that they shouldn't accept this behaviour, they sometimes nod a little, then after some silence, they try to change the topic.

kekiokolanee · 2020-01-10T00:35:12+00:00

It’s better trust me, men these days don’t even know where the clit is

kalidestroy · 2020-01-10T00:31:17+00:00

Been single 5 years now, it's rough at times but then I remember the soul crushing loneliness of being with the wrong person. Nothing about being single is worse than that feeling.

ThatsWhat__I__Said · 2020-01-09T23:11:53+00:00

I don't remember who said it, so I really can't claim it as original content, but I remember hearing the credo "It's better to be single than wish you were." It was a long time ago and I've always carried it with me. I have a very nice relationship right now but was single for a long time before that and if ends, I might cry, but then I'll be fine.

capresesalad1985 · 2020-01-09T20:01:44+00:00

Omg ri ri- the Queen right there

nnns · 2020-01-10T05:35:27+00:00

Lol thought I was finally into a guy, we were talking on the phone and he tells me he’s slept with a prostitute! He was even bragging about it 🤢🤧😷

ashwheee · 2020-01-10T03:32:52+00:00

Me to me

okayrightsickcool · 2020-01-10T05:53:16+00:00

100% my life.

CinderellaInADress · 2020-01-10T08:25:36+00:00

This is my life. All my girlfriends are in serious relationships.... set with guys I wouldn't even go to a date with. Especially my bff whose bf is selling stuff on markets, is 28 and doesn't want a proper job.

littytitty00 · 2020-01-10T09:44:54+00:00

Can’t be friends with a woman putting up with a LVM in 2020. It’s hard to respect.

o_charlie_o · 2020-01-10T03:23:35+00:00

I’ve created something for IG because I’m Always doin dope shit and I’m happy all the time now that I’m single, it’s #spinsterpride

L3Kinsey · 2020-01-10T07:31:07+00:00

Ba ha ha ha

I'm the opposite of this (polyamorous and partnered) and I stay the fuck out of it! If they ask I share stories (as I am also dating on and off) and they just get mad at me. Saying I "took" all "the good ones" and that when you're monogamous "it's different".

Nope, nope it's not. I'm just picky and don't settle for trash humans regardless of having partners are home, but thanks though.

arbitrosse · 2020-02-01T01:26:54+00:00

Some of them marry them, too. Sigh.

Title	I’m slowly learning that I’d rather be single
Author	vp2407
Upvotes	1703
Comments	66
Date	January 9, 2020 5:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/emcqq1/im_slowly_learning_that_id_rather_be_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-slowly-learning-that-id-rather-be-single.723348 https://theredarchive.com/post/723348

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