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iaintgonnacallyou
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]throwaway631391220FDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I get up at 630. That’s 2.5 hrs to irritate me. Thankfully single
[–]Skizzor_SisterFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Precisely why I am moving out of my mother's house. She loves to start shit while I make breakfast.
[–]picklesdickles2345FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Idk. My back pain iterates me in the morning sometimes, but I would very much like to keep my back.
My cat however..... sometimes when she wakes me up to demands cuddles at 5 am, I very much consider throwing back the dumpster she was found in lol.
[–]ThisAintMyOnlyUNFDS Newbie100 points101 points102 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I have a nice, succinct restrictive access policy for men and so far every man has failed the minimum standards every time, without fail. Can’t meet my standards? No access to my time, energy, or personal space. This includes friends, family, and potential partners.
[–]PartypuppersFDS Apprentice37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Could you elaborate on your policy?
[–]ThisAintMyOnlyUNFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Surely! I will preface this all by saying a lot of these have been boundaries for the majority of my life, some an extenuation on a theme (like being respectful while entering or being in my house). They have all been reinforced by FDS.
I will also mention that I have dated many terrible men. Mainly due to my upbringing leaving me vulnerable to narcissists.
In these terrible relationships I have experienced physical, mental, and sexual abuse. I don’t want to experience any of these anymore. I do not have time or mental space for any male depravity and once I get a whiff (regardless of how minor it may be categorized), I will push back and they get one chance to improve. If they do not then they are cut out of my life immediately or I have very limited contact.
Men have one chance to prove they’re a decent human being. Doing the right thing is not hard to do. And if you think doing the right thing is synonymous with going out of your way then, 🗑.
————————
Getting to know me: if they talk about themselves endlessly, 🗑. constantly giving me superficial compliments, 🗑. mansplaining, 🗑. think they know more than I do about my job, experience, or knowledge, 🗑. Asking if I cook, 🗑. Becoming complacent, 🗑. Mocking me, my choices or preferences, 🗑. Belittling me in any way whatsoever, 🗑. Making fun of my age, appearance, the way I talk (I have a deeper than normal voice), my family, 🗑. Insinuating I should choose them over my family or friends🔥 🗑.
Rules of the house: listening to me when I give instructions for handling my dogs; don’t listen, 🗑. Disrespecting my dogs, 🗑. Disrespecting me when I tell them to leave my dogs alone, 🗑. Hurting my dogs, 🔥 🗑. I have strict rules to enforce door manners so that I’m not chasing my one neurotic rescue. I have had men come into my house and purposefully get them excited; they’re not small dogs so they wreck my house. None have been invited invited back.
How they treat my house: putting their shoes on my furniture, 🗑. Throwing themselves on my nice couch, 🗑. Peeing on the toilet seat or floor, 🗑. Demanding I feed them, 🗑. Making a mess and not cleaning up after themselves, 🗑. Don’t offer to help clean or clean up after themselves, 🗑.
Hygiene: Don’t brush their teeth or wash their face prior to hanging out with me, 🗑. Greasy, unkempt hair 🗑. Dirty clothes, 🗑. Smell like sweaty human, 🗑. Look slovenly in general, 🗑.
Treatment of women: mentioning their exes are crazy, 🗑. Saying women are high maintenance, 🗑. Trashing the mother of their kids, 🗑. Being a horrible friend, bf, husband or parent, 🗑. Making fun of women’s natural state of being (stretch marks, cellulite, aging), 🗑. Anything that even remotely sounds like a sex joke in the early stages, 🗑. Anything that resembles porn or objectifying women, 🗑. Repeating Incel, red pill, PUA, manosphere tropes, 🗑. Calling his mother or sisters sluts, whores or bitches because they dared have a sex life, 🗑. Getting off to women’s suffering, 🗑. Choking women, 🗑. Cringing at female anatomical terms (vagina, period, breasts, cramps), 🗑. Jokes about being a lazy parent, 🗑. Demeaning women’s physical and emotional labor, 🗑. Watching porn, 🗑. Domestic violence, 🗑. Expecting sex for some mediocre reason, 🗑. Trump supporter, 🗑.
How they respect me, my time and effort: Showing up late, 🗑. Being cheap, 🗑. Playing dumb (oh i thought it was xx time, etc), 🗑. Thinking showing up is good enough, 🗑. Not respecting my downtime/mental health (e.g., insisting I clean, not allow me to sleep in, etc), 🗑. Not appreciating my effort, 🗑. Lying, gaslighting, or immediate aggressiveness after being called out, 🗑. I am an adult, do not take me for a fool.
Gross man traits they think are cute but really are pathetic: self-proclaimed mama’s boys, 🗑. Bragging about mediocre bs as if they deserve an award, trash. Thinking having a job is the end all be all, 🗑 (he should have a job, ladies). No hobbies or interests outside stereotypical male bs, 🗑 (liking a football team is not a personality trait). DUI, 🗑. Punching walls, 🗑. Erratic behavior, 🗑. Inability or refusal to help or improve themselves, 🗑. No ambition, 🗑. Dirty house, 🗑. Nice clothes or car but lives with parents and/or is incredibly cheap, 🗑. No food in fridge, 🗑. Brags about binge drinking, 🗑. Uses alcohol as an excuse for being aggressive or disrespectful, 🗑. Daddy/mommy issues, 🗑.
This isn’t a full list, just a giant purge off the top of my head. Many have been mentioned in this sub for a reason - I have personal experience with every single one via several men I have dated.
They are all red flags and should be treated as such. I highly advise women vet harshly with no regret. We have one life, one. And men have no qualms wasting it (doubt me? read JUSTNOSO and breaking moms subs and ask if that’s a life you want).
tl;dr: My time is mine - if a man cannot respect that and earn the right to share my time then, 🔥 🗑.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ThisAintMyOnlyUNFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Answered here 🙂
Feel free to add on!
[–]thehappiestelephantFDS Newbie115 points116 points117 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I even said that to a LVM. He made an observation about my actions, I risked vulnerability in a chance to connect with him by telling my motivations behind said action and he had the audacity to tell me my motivations were a character flaw. It was the final straw and I told him "I was having a great morning until you come out and insult my character, why would I even want to be here." I'm never living with a man before marriage again.
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Where do men even get their audacity from 🙄
[–]MonarchCrew50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The grow up without people telling them to stfu
[–]ThrowRA745318FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This! It's such a realisation when it hits you that you were/would be having a great day if it wasn't for them!
[–]bonzo0FDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Irritation is coming home from a long day of work very excited to eat the taquitos you bought and finding out there’s ONE LEFT IN THE BOX. Haven’t been irritated in a year and a half, ladies 💕✨
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Now he’s complaining that he was kind enough to leave you one and you still had the nerve to complain. LVM alert!
[–]bonzo0FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, I’m pretty sure he said that 😑
[–]throwaway631391220FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One fucking taquito?! Omfg
[–]huevos_and_whiskeyFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s worse than putting the milk carton back with less than a cup left in it.
[–]EmergencyShitFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And the kitchen is thrashed when it was clean that morning. 😡
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why can't they pick up after themselves? I'm floored.
[–]Introambi1FDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Omg this morning my bf made me late for work, so yeah a freaking man annoyed me at freaking 6:45 a:m. I don’t know who is worst men or children. I’d say men are waaaaay worst.
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Men are definitely worse. They know what they're doing and they don't care.
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I second this, being vehemently childfree.
[–]overthinkersanon8FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And they have far more access to money and power.
[–]kht777FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Children grow up and leave, and they can be taught not to disturb you. Its like men forget this very important lesson.
[–]StuffenfluffFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Babe you’re so close! Not valuing your time and respecting that you need to get to work on time? Leave him in the dust :(
[–]FashionTech537 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Factssss 100%
[–]highoncatnipbrowniesFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ouch. Guilty... never again will I put up with bull shit.
[–]Anti_DramaFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a huge reason I don't think I can handle a man. I just want the right to wake up at my discretion, lie there, and do nothing. Unless I have to work or something.
[–]NineOneNineOneNineFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My ex refused to put the toilet seat down. For months I asked him to put the seat down. At his house, he could shit on the walls. But this is my house, I don’t want my daughter to fall into the toilet! WTF is the resistance to common courtesy? Trying to assert himself?
[removed]
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is genius.
[–]_xyoungbellax_FDS Apprentice18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My old self feels attacked
[–]kind_redFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This resonates with me to a disturbing degree
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Agree. Every time I've dropped someone that irritated me that early in the morning (and I also include an ex friend in this) life has gotten exponentially better.
[–]huevos_and_whiskeyFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That feeling of getting rid of someone who’s been making you miserable, it’s like finally getting a stray lash out of your eye! The relief feels so good.
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You know what, it really is a lot like that. Fantastic analogy!
What gets me is how much less tiring life suddenly is. Its like "Oh, oh I wasn't just permanently exhausted. You were exhaust-ING. Got it."
[–]invenereveritasFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Get me ouuuut 😖
[–]TokiMarvelFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Whyyy? Every damn day, too. Years of interrupted sleep exacerbating my insomnia. Snorers, the heavy kind, need to be solitary beings.
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I have read a study that shows that women have a less deeper sleep when sleeping near men, but the males sleep deeper when near a woman. (Not even any snoring involved here). Think of the quality of sleep you loose over YEARS by marrying a man and not having your own space alone by that? Whenever a man asks you again what you bring to the table: His f*ing HEALTH improves at the expense of yours (and this is true on so many levels, not just sleep).
Edit: Everyone can do their own research, but this is what I have found just now (not the original study I read some time ago):
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21091112/ns/health-sleep/t/men-sleep-better-beside-mate-women-worse/
(Wow, lady sleeps bad because of her hubby, but still would like to share beds because "loveydovey"... wants him to participate in a sleep study, but he refuses? Probably because her health and comfort are no concern of his, and sharing a bed and cuddling obviously is not as important for HIM. But hey, what a cutesy story and couple).
[–]geologykittyFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lordy lord, the truth of it
[–]jayohday8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is what I’m saying especially with those bullshit “good morning” texts
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmfao. I'm thinking "thanks for reminding me that you exist, but uhh no thanks" 🙅♀️
[–]jayohday1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girl for real. Especially if we just met or just started talking. I don’t know you well enough to say good morning, idk, we aren’t a couple?? It’s just weird and yeah go away
[–]throwaway631391220FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Where is the lie?
[–]diorgasmFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Once the love is gone, cant even stand the way he smells. Go see a doctor dude.. whatever is emanating from your stomach smells unhealthy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex used to start horrible fights at 6 in the morning. It was no wonder I was an anxious, sodden mess when I went to work.
[–]GAaliyah12Pickmeisha™️0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't even imagine it.
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[+][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]throwaway631391220FDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Skizzor_SisterFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]picklesdickles2345FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThisAintMyOnlyUNFDS Newbie100 points101 points102 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]PartypuppersFDS Apprentice37 points38 points39 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThisAintMyOnlyUNFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]ThisAintMyOnlyUNFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thehappiestelephantFDS Newbie115 points116 points117 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MonarchCrew50 points51 points52 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThrowRA745318FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bonzo0FDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple48 points49 points50 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bonzo0FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway631391220FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]huevos_and_whiskeyFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]EmergencyShitFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Introambi1FDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]overthinkersanon8FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kht777FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StuffenfluffFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FashionTech537 25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]highoncatnipbrowniesFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anti_DramaFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NineOneNineOneNineFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_xyoungbellax_FDS Apprentice18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kind_redFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]huevos_and_whiskeyFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]invenereveritasFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TokiMarvelFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]geologykittyFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jayohday8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jayohday1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway631391220FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]diorgasmFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GAaliyah12Pickmeisha™️0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link