It's as simple as that

romantickitty · 2020-11-23T21:20:48+00:00

[deleted]

Mindeska · 2020-11-23T23:18:26+00:00

And when you make yourself unavailable, then they come to you like lost puppies. Works every time.

I really do think the only way to make things work with most men is to be detached and cold and make them constantly work for your affection. Being consistently kind and available just makes them take you for granted and treat you like a doormat.

Astral_weaver · 2020-11-23T21:01:34+00:00

Works like a charm.

Sekina7 · 2020-11-23T21:37:58+00:00

Life. Fucking. MANTRA...

2020-11-23T22:41:20+00:00

Whyyyyy was this not obvious to younger me?

Well, at least I understand now.

TempDetect · 2020-11-24T01:27:06+00:00

Taking a moment. Had a "close out" talk with one yesterday. I aired some thoughts and didn't coddle his feelings. His response was "well, I'm over this and I'm glad it's done".... yet he texted me an hour later to tell me that his feelings were still hurt and his thoughts about my feelings.

Bruh, I thought we were done? Why am I responsible for your feelings if you literally tell me you don't give a shit?

I did the classy thing, told him that I was sorry that he feels that way, and we parted ways... again? But really. I chose to be indifferent rather than ghost. Seemed like the most polite thing.

AmazonArtemis · 2020-11-23T20:56:43+00:00

Negative reinforcement works

fireforestfairy · 2020-11-24T04:39:39+00:00

Inconsistency = fuckboys being hot and cold towards you so you can't spot their intentions or LVM trying to act like HVM when you call them out for being an asshole and then reverting back to being his usual self when you're no longer so upset. Don't fall for it!

Littledeltoid · 2020-11-23T18:23:02+00:00

Years back, I had a long standing casual sex arrangement with a LVM. He wouldn't do the typical "you up?" at 2 am, but he would always ask me to come over on the same evening. We went on dates too, but those were also usually last minute. He never listened to my many requests to plan in advance. After 1.5 years, I finally got fed up and told him "I won't come over as long as it's a last minute request. You can ask me in advance or don't bother." Guess what? He never asked to see me again! Even after all that time we'd spent together, he made 0 attempts to keep me around after I laid down boundaries. Good riddance.

ahavaaa_ · 2020-11-24T00:57:37+00:00

So this dude started giving me mixed signals after coming on super strong for 3 weeks... I asked him what time we were hanging out the day before 2 times and he ignored it.. so the day we were supposed to hang out I went ahead and hung out with friends and had a damn good day.. same night he calls and asks why I didn’t text him all day and did I forget that we had plans.. I told him I asked him twice and wasn’t gonna ask a 3rd time... the dude dumped me!! It sucks and is mega confusing but I’m proud of myself for standing up for myself!!

Sewud · 2020-11-24T08:56:26+00:00

My last boyfriend was always available to me, but he was nonetheless inconsistent. He would be sweet one day, angry and moody the next. He told me that it was my lack of availability for him that made him upset. So he trained me to make myself more available to him to try to keep his moods in check. I was thinking my availability is free and it costs me nothing to give him more of it so I can do it. Well the moods didn't get better and I just made myself more and more available to a moody guy. This is pretty much a road to an abusive relationship. I have to learn to value my availability and refuse to give it to men.

MgrofChaos · 2020-11-24T00:33:03+00:00

Whoo! This right here would make a great tattoo!!

Thank you for the reminder!

Tonera · 2020-11-24T03:06:07+00:00

I feel like such a badass when I do this but the knee-jerk reaction to reply is still there.

cupittycakes · 2020-11-24T02:52:57+00:00

Why is all this easier said than done!? 😭😭😭

Title	It's as simple as that
Author	gagger_of_lolly
Upvotes	2813
Comments	54
Date	November 23, 2020 5:17 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jzltyn/its_as_simple_as_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/its-as-simple-as-that.331865 https://theredarchive.com/post/331865

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