Just. What.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-03-21T17:24:43+00:00

The red flags are hatching red flags in this post

Run lady, runnnnnnnn

berrylikeova · 2021-03-21T17:14:00+00:00

I don’t even know where to start here.

Sage_Planter · 2021-03-21T18:32:47+00:00

There's no way I could stay with a man after finding out this information. It's abhorrent to let your family scrape by while you're secretly living the good life, and it proves how much he doesn't care about her.

I lived with a NVM for a year, and he was weird and dodgy about money (because of baggage from his previous relationship). From now on, I refuse to even consider moving in together or engagement without a full disclosure of finances. Everything from debt to income to retirement savings to credit cards, etc. I want to see everything (and am willing to show everything). I want monthly conversations about finances because that's teamwork, not this bullshit.

randomgirlimok · 2021-03-21T17:43:06+00:00

All the info you need is on the tax return

yoursultana · 2021-03-21T17:23:05+00:00

It’s like men have competitions between each other on just how depraved they can get. They all seem to be Olympic worthy runners for male depravity, scoring top ranks for abusing women in all aspects.

ALISHAISHERE123 · 2021-03-21T18:37:00+00:00

Living in poverty, experiencing deprivation of basic things is a depleting, miserable experience. The fact that a man can purposely keep a loved one in that state is honestly absolutely unconscionable.

Lavender_flow · 2021-03-21T19:34:56+00:00

"he is less controlling" FOR NOW. The abuse will come back and like more than double. Sis, RUN. Divorce and take half of the money he claimed not to have. FUcking asshole

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-21T17:26:22+00:00

Omg get a fucking lawyer right now

Tomoshaamoosh · 2021-03-21T17:47:51+00:00

Divorce. He can more than afford it.

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-03-21T17:33:26+00:00

Uh.... yea. I always like to know, because I've gone on a few dates with dead-beats who figure out how much I make and assume I'll be their sugar momma, or think I'm too dumb to notice how much their stuff costs.

This husband is a loser and an asshole.

Chaotic-platypus · 2021-03-21T19:00:43+00:00

"Used to be controlling..." sis he still is, maybe not to you cause you've grown stale and he lost interest. But he's definitely taking out his personality disorders on someone.

Also he's mad that you found out because you're getting closer to uncovering his other lies (mistresses, other families, whatever it may be).

Erocitnam · 2021-03-21T19:07:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-21T19:29:12+00:00

D I V O R C E

cherrypepsilvr · 2021-03-21T20:51:28+00:00

Honestly, abusers never change. My money is on him having a mistress, to whom he now channels his abuse.

Federal_Advantage440 · 2021-03-21T18:16:10+00:00

Is this financial abuse?

TopJunket7249 · 2021-03-21T22:16:54+00:00

Allowance? That is something my dad gave me when I was a kid for cleaning the house and to not complain at him to buy me stuff all the time.

He doesn’t view her differently.

nothing998 · 2021-03-21T18:38:55+00:00

Remember, if he's hiding money from you, it mean's he's building up a cash stash to use to impress another woman once he determines he can safely "upgrade".

Once you've "hit the wall", his plan is to dangle that cash in front of some other young woman. The bigger the stash the better the pick!

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-03-21T20:42:31+00:00

Nah girl, not normal, one household must know the financial situation of all contributers. And he is abusive to the vulnerable. I'd be worried about the children.

shinyrainbows · 2021-03-22T00:46:56+00:00

I talked about this with some women I know. They said they’d ask questions and then see what he wants to do about it. As in “why did you hide this from me?” “if he’s gonna give me money or does he want to leave?” and overall just questions stemming from curiosity. I’m over here like I’d divorce him😂 There’s no point in staying with someone and there’s rarely any justifiable reasons for what he did and they’re telling me “you can’t just divorce over things like this you have to work them out” and I’m like “work what out? He knew all of this and decided to lie and guilt trip me. There is nothing to work out when my cards are in front of me telling me I lost.” I’m worried for these women and what they will put up with when they get married.

Summerisle7 · 2021-03-21T18:26:39+00:00

It doesn't sound as though this OP has a job, but if she does work, guaranteed she'd not be allowed to hide her earnings from him. He'd be the first one with his hand out for her paycheque.

ginnnnie · 2021-03-22T01:15:55+00:00

“He became angry when I found out HE lied” girrrrrlllllllllllll THATS narcissist 101 Gtfo ugggh

2021-03-22T01:30:34+00:00

Financial abuse is the number one indicator of a problem. Men are their money. The way he treats his money is the way he is...

RUN.

miss_peach94 · 2021-03-22T00:04:26+00:00

He's spending that money on another woman.

spicyspa · 2021-03-21T23:10:12+00:00

She's needs to get an investigator & a lawyer and grab that bag.

2021-03-21T23:58:25+00:00

Bruhhhh £60,000 alone is like 2x the average yearly salary. EXCESS!!!?!!

HottPinkSlug · 2021-03-22T00:46:45+00:00

'We have two children'
Omg that was like getting punched in the throat

annrike1 · 2021-03-21T18:26:55+00:00

Sooo they compare letting women know which men are rapists/murderes/child abusers with men knowing the body count of a woman? They life in Lalaland xD

sunologie · 2021-03-22T07:46:03+00:00

Imagine asking this question and acting like it’s no big deal when your husband is making your family, your KIDS scape by on the bare minimum while he’s spending thousands on himself and living the high life secretly— what in the goddamn FUCK? I would be FURIOUS.

_boring_daven_ · 2021-03-22T04:50:07+00:00

Reasons why I’m glad I’m becoming a career woman and an accountant. I won’t have to become dependent on a man and get an “allowance” 🤮, and I’ll do the taxes so anything he hides would literally be fraud. And if he ever wants to file separately (which is a dumb idea because you’re worse off than being single) we’re getting a divorce.

Alpha_Aries · 2021-03-22T05:04:48+00:00

A-allowance?

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo

AimiHanibal · 2021-03-22T14:57:18+00:00

He used to to be abusive? No honey, you just got used to it

AnniaT · 2021-03-22T08:45:45+00:00

She needs to leave, he hasn't stop being emotionally abusive. But she talked about an allowance, so she might be financially dependent on him and might be hard to leave.

Title	Just. What.
Author	berrylikeova
Upvotes	484
Comments	65
Date	March 21, 2021 5:13 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ma17bl/just_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/just-what.1190045 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190045

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