Male highly driven predatory sexual appetite & drive VS women’s easily controlled, & sometimes non existent drive. Is this nature or nurture? Is there any coming back from generationally being hunted for sex from childhood?

Platipus6 · 2022-02-25T07:15:23+00:00

Grab your emotional support labrador and watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1y38N4LQiU

I think there's a huge difference between pedos who lIkE fErTiLe yOuNg wOmEn because they're sexually aroused by women who at least look like they've gone through puberty - disgusting mindset, still abhorrent

and men who are quite frankly, serial killers of babies, who use their penis as the weapon. They're aroused not by the child, but by the knowledge that they're about to physically and mentally destroy them, if not kill them.

I think Epstein should be classed as a child serial killer. None of what he did was about lust, love, desire, or sex. It was destruction.

I think only men who find women their own age sexually attractive and want to have mutually pleasurable sex with them are normal. Only men who care about the well-being and needs of their offspring are normal.

And anything less is abnormal and needs to go.

melympia · 2022-02-25T13:15:12+00:00

I don't think this is merely a hormonal thing, although it may or may not be contributing to the issue. But I think that most of the issue is social conditioning, and for the following reasons: Men are being socially conditioned...

... to seek their orgasm. Their orgasm is all that counts, no matter what. Whether it's by leaving heir partner without one, or by pickup artistry, by using porn or sex workers or coercion or force or poisons - their orgasm is paramount. Even if it involves forcing themselves on literal children or sheep or a hole in the board. The mere hormonal component of an orgasm actually fuels that behavior.
... to always stick up for each other. As a result, they learn that they can get away with practically anything.
... to think that women need to be theirs exclusively. Remember the time where women needed to be virgins to be marryable... Which, in some places, is still the case.
... to think that they're superior to women, and need to dominate them. Negging, mansplaining, manspreading, refusing chores or doing any actual childcare - they are all symptoms of it. However, women become less and less submissive. Which leads to the following:
Men are looking for younger and younger victims. Because they don't know better yet, or don't fight back as much, or are just more gullible and, yes, innocent. Easy to dominate or force into anything. The younger the better.
Also, men are trying to disable their victims. Be it through date rape drugs (although in way too many cases, there isn't even a date involved!!!), alcohol (just another drink...) or other drugs, physical violence or shredding their confidence and isolating them from anyone who could help them.

Now, let's compare that to the social conditioning of women:

Men hardly ever manage to give us orgasms, so where's the reason to chase them?
We're taught to be people pleasers, and stick to the rules. In some cases (like don't go outalone after dark in a mini skirt), this is unfortunately necessary. In others, it's mere oppression (don't speak your mind, smile, be charming...)
We're supposed to believe that once we have a man, he's ours only. News flash: In too many cases, this is not even remotely true.
We're being conditioned to believe we're inferior to men. However, social advantages, inability to get pregnant and a small amount of extra muscle mass (around 15% more, I think) are the only things in their favor.
What are we supposed to do with a little boytoyy? Raise him until he leaves for a younger model? LOL, nope!
There's no reason for us to disable men for sexual gratification. For one, they most likely won't get it up anyway. For another, we have two working hands, great imagination and vibrators that don't stop working before we're finished. What else do we need?

gingerwabisabi · 2022-02-25T04:40:45+00:00

The invention of agriculture is responsible for a LOT of this, because it spread by violence (no one wanted to stop being hunter gatherers, they were forced) and so the most violent were the most successful, over and over. See the Taino who before the invasion of Europeans used to fight their wars with wooden swords so they wouldn't cause permanent harm!

There is plenty of rape in the animal world, but humans are up near the top of the scale for how much actual malice males hold toward females and young. For example, when a cow goes into heat all the bulls around will follow her around for days. They do it pretty placidly, rarely fighting each other, but just all stand near her, groom her, talk to her, and hope for a chance. When she goes out of heat, they wander off to the next cow who is now ready and do the same thing. Male dogs, horses, cats, etc. will have varying levels of involvement in their offspring's care, but won't force themselves on a mate. Most birds (with the exception of ducks and penguins) are not even capable of raping and are good parents. Chimps are evil, worse than humans, but bonobos are very cooperative (and matriarchal).

All this to say, it's been a bad time for women and children for the last 10,000+ years and the way for us to change it is to deny reproduction to cruel and perverted men. There is a large amount of heritability when it comes to character traits and men especially seem to inherit personality disorders and such easily. So guard your womb. Get power and money, learn all the guerilla ways of birth control and abortion, band together with other women for forceful protection, and let's let the evil men die off. Let's either voluntarily go extinct as a species or change our future to a far better one.

anabelchoc1 · 2022-02-25T04:34:06+00:00

So happy you're posting this, it's an incredibly interesting topic.

I'll preface this by saying that I'm not making the claim that all science is bullsh*t, but science has historically been and is currently being used to advance social agendas. Thus in the realm of bioessentialism, it's very difficult to know "facts". Also, biodeterminism has been heavily criticized because in group variation varies significantly more than between group variation, and this is generally agreed upon. What I mean by this is that in the aggregate, the biological differences between randomly selected women will be larger than the difference between men and women.

But getting to your point, it is 100% nurture. This is the case because attraction is not biological. It is social. Things that are socially desirable make their way into beauty standards. This is why white women are still the standard, even though there has been a huge shift in body positivity w all races.

Another case of this is thinness. Thinness is desirable in Western culture. But in some African cultures (I am not generalizing, I just forgot the country of this particular study... I think it was South Africa, but I'm not sure), heavier women were more attractive. And it's because thinness was associated with illness, specifically HIV/AIDs.

Here's the kicker: they followed these men who relocated to Western society and guess what, they were no longer attracted to heavy women. Their biology did not change, but the social context did.

With that being said, it can stem from so many things. The need to be in control, which gets significantly easier at younger ages, could be one. I think the adultification of kids and infantilization of women both create a society where kids are seen as sexual objects. This is portrayed heavily in media.

Also the alluring nature of the taboo. This is why Asian porn became very popular from the 70s+ and Middle Eastern (think Mia Khalifa) in the 2000s....which also goes back to that idea of power and domination.

I could go on but I'll stop there.

No_Fig2938 · 2022-02-25T13:55:16+00:00

So I think this question might be too complicated and need some actual studying, the reality is most "science" that is pushed on us is trying to justify male depravity, just like anything men use to try manipulating women into believing we can't do anything about it and need to accept it. But this right here to me is the most glaring proof that men are not "supposed" to be this way, the fact that it hurts us so much and we feel averted to male sexual depravity that they need to come up with "undeniable" facts to convince us of it means they know we wouldn't accept it otherwise, for example women don't like being ogled by men, and women don't like thier boyfriend looking at another women, yet our natural and non socialized responses gets completely ignored as us being irrational and sensitive, while men get to have the biology reason, to me the way science is used is the same way religion was (and still in some places) used to be able to access women sexually.

Now as to why, I have my own theory: Firstly it's that men were raised not to see women as equals, it's has been socialized into them from a young age, I think initially this has been connected to the obsession with power and ego, and the way men use anything to dominate others, that gets combined with sexual attraction to women, and makes thier objectification of women connected to thier sexual urges and drive, why is it akin to obsession? Because sex weren't meant to be had without emotional connection, we have tons of studies to prove people have sex to feel connected to their partner, but men cannot feel that type of emotions to something that's below them and just have it as a way to only get pleasure, so thier urges are insatiable, they're chasing satisfaction, something that cannot be obtained the way they do it.

and as you know what happens to porn addicts with dopamine receptors, they start deviating more and more towards disgusting ways because they no longer feel satisfied with normal things anymore, thier addiction takes over thier life and mind, and they no longer feel any emotions towards women besides lust, they become stuck in this endless cycle, they have no way out because nothing can stop them, they have no empathy towards women, thier society tells them what they're doing is right and acceptable, and they're quick to take (and pass on) that view because of the shame they're feeling, the only negative emotion stemming from their behavior.

Basically men become empty husks that only chase basic instincts, they use women to satisfy thier urges because it's the only thing that brings them pleasure in life, thier life becomes empty with no joy in it because those things give temporary pleasure, and the only help men get from other men are from men who sees them as allies to get what satisfy thier urges as well, men in reality don't care about each other, so they work on keeping each other in this endless pit.

I think there's other things to be taken into consideration, but to me I think this explains why so many men throughout the history was capable of the most inhumane crimes possible, I compare them to mere animals who don't care about the suffering of their victims if it gets to eat, but they're worse than that, because even if they act like animals they will never become exactly like them, they have consciousness, and our emotional complexity far exceeds that of animals, thier empty lives fills them with so much much despair that shows itself as anger, they don't know how to handle this anger, so like bullies they direct thier anger and feeling of inadequacy towards those who are weaker, that is women.

But just like Ted Bundy said, those men's issue is not with emotions, because emotions is only a reaction towards real world events, if you only spend your time trying to fix your emotions without addressing the thing that caused them in the first place, then you're going into circles

Men live into thier own illusion, where they flip the reality to make themselves the victim, because they feel bad, wouldn't it make sense they would be the victim? And thier own illusion feeds the way they handle reality, by running away from it and changing narratives to fit thier own image, men are so scared of admitting they're terrible people and to work on that, they don't want to admit they're the cause of all thier misery and life problems, they keep chasing imaginary power that won't affect thier own self esteem, and will only affect thier ego that is so fragile it will also be another cause of thier misery, so they're still stuck in thier own loop where thier only thing that brings them any positive emotions is sex and other types of addictions.

Your other question is, can we turn back? I say yes, because people are so affected by thier culture and we can create a healthy cultural narrative where both sexes gets to be equal, while also giving out new generation some power (education and self reflection) to not be easily deterred from thier path by others.

The problem with that is we have a wolf in sheep's clothes (men) who's trying so hard to keep thier illusion and manipulate women into not changing, we can't really convince men to change since they're far too feel into an alternate reality, we can only convince women who are also deep into thier own alternate reality (internalized misogyny) so the change will take so much time to take effect, especially since this is more psychological change, rather than physical one which can be easily done with aggression, because we women don't stand a chance against men in regard to physical power, we also unfortunately cannot descend to the low men are able to reach with how little empathy or moral they have, we are unfortunately tied by our own humanity.

fiftyspiders · 2022-02-25T04:58:36+00:00

perhaps both but women are taught since birth that sex is shameful and not for them. also, many women have insatiable sexual appetites, so this is quite a generalization. women just aren’t as violent as men and don’t feel entitled to it. they just grab a vibrator.

FluffandRainclouds · 2022-02-25T16:54:43+00:00

Don't despair, the people making € from this stuff often have an agenda. Documentaries are not always 100% good faith info, unfortunately. And I am so sorry you and your family went through that trauma. Jedi hugs if you want them.

One thing I learned is pedos tend to have lower testosterone (look it up on medical journals). If you look at how our biology works (e.g. the data about pregnancies being safer in the 20s than the teens, female arousal preventing injury from sex, the recovery time from having a baby, all the biological reasons women's anuses are not meant for penetration) men are not supposed to rape us. For the survival of our species, men are supposed to use their testosterone and strength to be protective of us from natural predators/disasters (e.g. wild animals, help protect/build shelter during a hurricane). Men excusing depravity and citing biology are being disgusting; it would be like excusing all the moms who abuse their children verbally/physically and saying it's jUsT bIoLoGy.

One piece of unsolicited advice: I hope you have a therapist or another trusted professional confidante who can talk you through this. When we witness world depravity on a large scale from men (e.g. Epstein and Hefner) it is easy to get depressed. I know even with FDS we post a lot of Male depravity to educate fellow women, but the point is to help us spot red flags. IMO at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter why a particular man is depraved, or why a powerful/famous/privileged group If men decided to act in a depraved way. As long as justice is served toward perpetrators, preventative measures are taken (e.g. strong father/male role models for boys to show how to treat women respectfully), and women are protected somehow, those are my goals.

If something ever feels off, listen to your gut-- those experiences have probably informed your intuition to spot flags others may not. I wish you healing, love, and freedom from male depravity ❤ this stuff is "one day at a time" IMO, you being happy, no-contact with abusers, and free from oppression will piss off the depraved ones the most. Also, women and non-offender males who excuse depravity are flying monkeys/have internalized misogyny and don't deserve your trust.

KetoKittenAround · 2022-02-25T04:26:58+00:00

My own option below. I am not coming at you. We have our own thought process:

I choose not to spend too much effort or give too much headspace about the why’s and wherefores of our reality.

It is reality.

I just accept the reality and deal it. I had to do it on my own but I found this space and will tell my most horrible and embarrassing things to hopefully help another woman learn from my own mistakes.

I had to do it in my own at first but had to be bold about how it’s unfair to be treated like this as women.

There is no question to “coming back” as there is an active movement here (handbook!!! Yes!) to making that happen.

You’re back baby! ;)

Society is shaped by patriarchy of which pornography and degradation abounds. It even features itself in faux feminism (ya know for those who lack critical reasoning) and such.

Science and medicine is always focused on males and what their needs and wants. Literally everything is.

I’m not saying don’t ask what you are asking as we have our own paths. So please see I’m only offering my viewpoint.

Another question i offer is why do we continue to think of men at all? Why are we easily excluded yet we still pay them mind?

They never think “but what about the females?!?” Unless it’s is to take away our agency.

Why do men always need to feature in anything we do?

PS edit to say you bring up pedos and all of that but it’s all abuse. They feel entitled to abuse and our biological reality when having children puts us at a great disadvantage.

All degenerates All deserve to be dealt with in a swift manner and no energy should be wasted in understanding the filth before you. That’s where they get you

_cnz_ · 2022-02-25T20:58:25+00:00

Honestly I think we need to stop therapizing men and listening to them when it comes to their motivations and intentions for their behaviors. Abusive people are not only known to be liars but also have little insight to their personal motivations. All behaviors and actions are a choice. I believe that any abuser who blames their behavior on some uncontrollable biological force or urge is just covering up for the fact that they just wanted to do whatever the hell they wanted to. It’s honestly not as deep as we make it out to be.

naturopathicfantasti · 2022-02-25T06:16:37+00:00

Pedophiles are definitely a minority of men. It’s a minority of men committing a majority of these crimes you’re talking about. One violent man can hurt 10, 20, 40, 100+ girls. And they do.

Also, a lot of girls are molested by boys who are themselves under the age of 18, like brothers or cousins. This is very common and it’s also why it so often goes unreported—parents don’t want to believe their sons could hurt their daughters.

boopsfoshoops · 2022-02-25T08:04:55+00:00

Our ability to be sexual at all comes from our sense of safety. We are physically incapable of getting a "lady boner" when we don't feel safe. End of story. We don't even need to "control" our sexual drive, bc as long as we are being creeped, leered-at, stalked, or in any otherwise even low-level danger scenario, there is no sexual drive there for us. Absolutely no need to "fight" anything.

If men realized that one simple fact, they might change their whole approach to women at all. But my guess is that these porn-sick, twisted motherfuckers actually get off on our fear. They get off on the fact that we're not enjoying it.

It may be hormonal, it's definitely neurological - google: ventral vagus nerve or poly vagal theory

Purple-Try8602 · 2022-02-25T06:48:14+00:00

I love this post thank you, I’ve often wondered the same thing. It can’t be because they’re reproductively desirable because they want the ones nowhere near impregnable too. I think it’s control, something small, overpowerable...also men get off on the receiving party NOT enjoying it. Men aren’t concerned with our pleasure because feeling like they got one over on us is the turn on. So a child who will authentically whimper and be displeased is ideal. Plenty of pron especially Asian features the woman looking noticeably displeased bored or offended. They do that intentionally. I’m not saying they enjoy it by any means but the entire genre / vibe is look what I did to this girl and how much she hated it. Some porn producers tell the girls to fake being pleased, if you notice there’s a whole other genre where you can tell the girl was told to look intentionally miffed. Both sides I’m sure hate the entire experience but let’s accept that a large portion of men get off on having something smaller than them be very unhappy with the sex occurring.

birdonthestreet · 2022-02-25T14:21:51+00:00

I think it’s because sex, historically, has not been pleasant or enjoyable for women. Also, a lot of times, sex with men can have violent undertones and the number one killer of women is- violence at the hands of men.

redcaptraitor · 2022-02-25T16:08:08+00:00

Otherification, Othering, or seeing women as something Other.

Porn access, and the constant sexual objectification of women in media and all other places, naturally makes men to think women as something(They do think women as things, not humans) different, and available for their pleasure.

Additionally, the sexism, which has often and again stereotyped that to be men are this, this and this, while women are this, this and this. When someone is constantly told by society that the one-half of the population is to serve their need, and they are somewhat not as capable as men, that gets into the brain.

W.r.t pedophiles though, they think, they are young at heart, and so they deserve the young girl. Because the consequence of committing that act is severe, the stray away. But since, they know, and they have been told that women's job is to pleasure men, they think girls/women owe them this service, but they can't get because of silly laws made by old people.

Basically, I can't accept it's biology, since in many tribes sex/violence on women were not accepted or even done. Only the entitlement in the nurture builds it.

Dog-Lady- · 2022-02-25T22:46:41+00:00

I worked with sex offenders for 10 years.

Whilst I can confidently say that sex offending is more common than your average person realises, what I’m hearing from you is a belief that almost all men are predators. It’s understandable you feel that way given your experiences - I’m so sorry. The best thing you can do for your own sense of equilibrium is get into really good evidence based trauma therapy and work on your wellbeing. Good luck ❤️

AutoModerator · 2022-02-25T04:11:35+00:00

[1] - We Just Launched a Website: wwww.TheFemaleDatingStrategy.com. Click here for registration information. Please also join our Twitter and Instagram Pages for updates!
[2] - Listen to The Female Dating Strategy Podcast
[3] - Please read the FDS Handbook and Wiki before commenting. Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.
[4] - Please REPORT any comments that do not follow the sub rules. If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.
[5] - PLEASE REMOVE ALL PERSONAL IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION from images (Name, Location, Job description, education, phone number, etc). Failure to remove ID info will result in a 1-2 day ban. Repeated failures will result in a permanent ban.
[6] - This sub is FEMALE ONLY. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!! Please DOWNVOTE and REPORT immediately.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Comments