Midweek FDS Chat 1/8/20

Eightxx · 2020-01-08T21:47:48+00:00

What if I'm not sure if I ever want to get married?

That's the goal for a lot of women here, but I'm very jaded about marriage (and men).

I dont want to be anyone's gf for 13 years, but marriage to me = a trap by men to use and abuse a mother figure that they can stick their dick in.

siberiansummer · 2020-01-08T21:17:44+00:00

I’ve only been here for less than a week but it’s amazing how this group aligns with my unpopular philosophy on dating and life in general. I’m obsessed with this page! Anyway, I have a quick question for anyone who’d know and would be kind enough to respond. So I made a couple of posts and what I noticed is that upvotes get largely mitigated my downvotes. Why is that? I wouldn’t think it’s sistas that are downvoting each other? Is it from scrotes and lurkers? If that’s the case why are they allowed to vote on our posts? Can’t we have a setting where only members of our group can vote like it is in other groups?

And question #2. Sometimes I get a notification saying there was a new comment on my post or a reply to my comment and then I click on it and it looks like there haven’t been any. Is it just a general Reddit glitch? Does anybody else have it happen to them?

SimpleSyrups · 2020-01-08T21:27:56+00:00

Anyone else watching “Dirty John” on Netflix?

Because holy shit my new favorite thing is to apply FDS principals to shows. The very first episode would be a block and delete, and she didn’t. She second guessed her gut, she heard him say nice things after the fact and now here we are with him being total psycho. Be ruthless ladies!!!

And watch this ridiculous show because if you look at what happened, and all her hopeful pick me bullshit, you’ll see the things you should never be OK with or accepting of.

macguffin99 · 2020-01-08T23:13:10+00:00

Hi I’ve had a DM from some weirdo who’s stalking FDS. He seems to have some problem with his foreskin, but I haven’t bothered to check it out, lol.

I love you ladies and I look forward to reading this subreddit everyday. ❤️

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-08T21:19:28+00:00

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ana-moss-city · 2020-01-08T22:06:59+00:00

Hello ladies, I'm pretty new to subreddit and to this philosophy generally. So I have a few questions: 1) what does OLD mean? 2) leveling up physically is pretty obvious but things like "setting boundaries", "practicing emotional intelligence", "self love" or what a "healthy" relationship looks like, are so vague. Can you shed some light on these topics?

FluffandRainclouds · 2020-01-09T13:13:59+00:00

Was chatting with a guy online who seemed lukewarm and was complaining about the distance between us as if he just realized (uhh the app told you?). I wished him well and he was nice about it.

Win/win, no waste of time. I was able to laugh about how half-hearted he sounded and not take it personally. I learned from here that if he was a good match for me, he would be proactive about scheduling a date and would have already factored in the distance (been talking for multiple days).

noavocadoshere · 2020-01-09T09:38:58+00:00

it's been about 1^1/2 months since NoContact with my ex who love bombed, d**kmatized and then ghosted me right around thanksgiving. it's like my ex read the fuckboy manual and said, "yes," (or maybe he wrote it because that's how terrible he is 🤷‍♀️). i know he's LV. he's emotionally unavailable, wasn't upfront about his living arrangements, volatile, doesn't know how to properly communicate, cheap, smoked all the time on his snap--which was a huge turnoff--and prioritized himself despite words otherwise. i also suspect that he was probably in contact with his previous ex while with me. men are heartless and intentionally hurt you for no reason other than they can. if anything, i should be grateful that he revealed his true character and that i didn't carry his LV self into 2020.

jalapenopancakes · 2020-01-09T00:44:22+00:00

Haven't really posted here before and I'm working out/on myself right now but was wondering....

How common are moderately active guys? Not vain extreme meathead/model looking dudes but not once have I dated a guy that wanted to go to the gym with me or actually ever enjoyed exercising on his own time. Any tips on weeding out sedentary dudes that prefer to watch tv/be lazy and boring? And again, I am not at all a runner or those highly active people that run 10 miles a day.

circescircus · 2020-01-09T13:35:40+00:00

I just wanted to share a thought...

There are a lot of pickmeishas posting on FDS, who are not really interested in recovering or changing. They go on FDS in an attempt to rationalize what they are already doing. They get really good, thoughtful advice, but it's clear most of them don't take the advice they get seriously. I don't think they take women seriously, and aren't much better than the LVM they are with.

I don't mean to crap on all pickmeishas-- I fully support the ones who are self-aware, not in denial and are working on changing their behavior. However, some of the pickmeisha posts here remind me of my pickmeisha ex-friends who treated me like a free therapist. Just take, take, take and never think to give, because I'm not a man and don't have a dick.

I think they are bringing the overall quality of the sub down. Just asking stupid questions they already know the answer to, so they can go over the asinine details of their shitty relationships. They probably don't have female friends, because they drove them away with this type of behavior. NO ONE wants to hear so many details about your shitty boyfriend, unless you're planning on leaving him.

LooseUnderstanding · 2020-01-09T17:55:57+00:00

My brother and I were hanging out last night and he put on a video by some YouTuber about how it’s real easy to make fun of incels, but wrong because they actually deserve sympathy, poor things, and society’s really to blame, not them. I said afterward, ‘he’s funny, but I honestly don’t have any sympathy for incels.’ And he got his famous condescending, superior look on his face so I could tell he was mad lol.

He was like, ‘really? None at all? Why? Don’t you think that’s unreasonable ‘ or something like that. I said that I don’t think someone who can’t see women as human deserves my sympathy, but for the sake of keeping the peace, added that I’m not saying every incel thinks that way (even though I know that’s literally their one tenet).

He smirked at me very self satisfied, and was like, ‘after all, that would be a broad, sweeping generalization of an entire group.’ Like yeah, god forbid I make a sweeping judgment about INCELS! I just said I didn’t think the discussion would be productive and wished to stop, and thank goodness he respected that. In the past, challenging his ‘authority’ has led to low key abuse. I’ve been bothered about it ever since then though.

Edit: I just realized this might be wildly inappropriate for this sub, sorry if that’s the case. I put it here because of the disturbing talk about incels, who I figure are completely opposite FDS’s philosophy.

Skittleschild02 · 2020-01-10T11:49:31+00:00

This week’s life lesson;

1) It’s okay to mute your friends when they’re posting passive aggressive post on Facebook about their “relationship.”

2) Remember that former OLD crush you added on Snapchat? The one you ghosted & regretted? might be a HVM? And wanted to apologize to? Hold off on it. Feel the situation out.

3) Not everybody at your job is your friend. Make your money & go home.

4) It’s okay to say no.

5) Denny’s got a good ass nacho plate. Highly recommended it.

2020-01-09T00:54:47+00:00

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Evil_Rao · 2020-01-09T02:27:45+00:00

I'm new to this subreddit and was hoping to get some clarification on a subject: what is the FDS stance on kissing on the first date? I already know about holding out sex until proper commitment but haven't read anything on small things like kissing, etc. If I think the guy is HVM material do I let him kiss me on a first date? How far is it okay to go physically?

Whateverbabe2 · 2020-01-09T10:25:41+00:00

found out the guy I was going on a blind date with is 15 years older than me
I have started visiting my ex landlord because we are good friends and I am learning to cook. The deal is he buys the ingredients and pays for my gas, I cook and we both eat.
I am working on my financial stability and self improvement. I have three jobs right now and I start one at a bank in February. I also read 200 pages a night and currently reading Gone With The Wind
I am working towards going back to school in the fall.
I have quit smoking, drinking, and all recreational substances
my French and Spanish are rusty. I would like to refresh my languages so I can learn another. Maybe Russian or Arabic.
I would like to reduce my phone use to bare minimum. I waste too much time on my phone and it's bad for my mental health and productivity.

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-01-09T18:47:08+00:00

How do I bite the bullet on clothes I've been looking at? How do I know if I'm going to wear them often enough to justify them? I've picked all these cute things.

Ugh I really really really hate shopping for clothes. But I need to upgrade my wardrobe. I just don't know what I want ):

TokiMarvel · 2020-01-08T22:16:42+00:00

A guy I met learned that I am dating other men casually while dealing with the end of a non-relationship relationship. He acted personally as though he were the guy I had a complicated dating history with. I went from the best thing since sliced bread to that user who breaks men’s hearts, in his eyes. We’re no longer interested dating but he tried to convince me to “fix” the thing with the other guy. What is that even?

Mind you, he talked about his current dating issues…like how he keeps going out with psychologists and therapists. He’s obv trolling for free therapy.

spicybookmaster · 2020-01-10T14:48:46+00:00

Do you get a lot of dates from OLD? I get a lot of matches but many don’t even message. Or if they do, it goes nowhere. Usually they ask for my snap immediately, which I have but “don’t”, and then they disappear. I don’t give out my social media until I’ve met a guy in person, which only two have been completely fine with. But those didn’t work out bc other red flags.

Also, do you get approached in person by men a lot? The last time I was approached and asked out was 2015 :/

Edit: forgot to add, how do you feel about messaging first? Do you do it? I do sometimes but if it’s a guy I really would like to meet I don’t. I’m trying to not message first at all bc I feel if a guy wants to talk he’ll message.

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-01-10T16:36:51+00:00

Some random thoughts, in no particular order:

Keep male friends in check by saying “no hetero” whenever you show them affection or give them compliments.

Do a cleanse of your contacts/accounts you’re following and get rid of men you don’t like in your damn phone.

I realized that I need to stop giving dating advice to LVM friends, at least my advice can’t be “how to treat her better” because that’s just helping them hide their true nature. My friend asked me for advice today and I asked him what he wanted from his relationship with her and he didn’t know, so I just said “then figure that out” and said I wasn’t gonna say anything else until he had.

lolumadbr0 · 2020-01-10T16:40:30+00:00

Met my first IRL fuckboy out with my bestie. Wasn't even trying wanted to just hang out with her and drink a bit...

Guy had a stub for a hand first off. Has no teeth on top, smoked, and was Fucking racist and shouted the N word at this restaurant we were at...

We exchanged numbers before all of this was known bc I was very drunk, anyway totes not my type and I blocked the number before I left.

Midweek FDS Chat 1/8/20

Comments

Fuckboyfree2020

Title	Midweek FDS Chat 1/8/20
Author	NecessaryCook
Upvotes	12
Comments	78
Date	January 8, 2020 8:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/elyngv/midweek_fds_chat_1820/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/midweek-fds-chat-1820.685246 https://theredarchive.com/post/685246