Marrying and having children with a LVM was the worst mistake of my life. Even though we've been divorced for almost 10 years, the ramifications of that choice still impacts my life on a daily basis. I married the nice guy who, at the time, seemed like a good choice because he was kind and funny and talented and didn't cheat. Please require more for yourselves.

After the honeymoon period wore off I got to see him for the LVM he really was. Kind, but physically and emotionally lazy with no intestinal fortitude or drive. He would whine, wait for my direction on EVERYTHING, he didn't clean the house, didn't take direction in bed, and had a serious fear of intimacy. On top of that, our daughter was diagnosed with ASD when she was seven, and anxiety a few years later. Being a mom is hard enough, without the added special circumstances. I'm literally in charge of her sanity, which is unbelievable pressure. I had to call doctors, research treatments, recruit therapists, make appointments, deal with the school meetings, manage her diet, keep her calm. All while doing my own job and running a business. When he was living right here with me.

I've never met a man as cheap as he is. Everything is about money. He's so cheap he wouldn't buy a fkn firestick for $25 so the kids could watch TV at his house on the flat screen TV I GAVE him (they watch movies on their computer smh). He's so cheap, my kids don't have proper beds at his house (one sleeps on a foldout couch and the other on a foam thing that sits on the floor). We have two children, but he got a one-bedroom apartment because...you guessed it...he didn't want to spend the money, even for their comfort. When I need to run an errand and ask if they can come over for a few hours, he asks, "Do I need to get dinner?" Because he doesn't want to spend the money. Today I learned that I may need to pay $7000 in treatment for my daughter. I may have to get a loan. I asked him how his credit was in the event we have to go in together. "Bad", he says. SMH. He's always made more than me, but expected/expects me to go half on everything.

When my son was watching misogynistic content on YouTube, I asked him to check it out and address it--because I have a zillion other things to do! He never did; I had to. While I'm up at night worrying about my daughter's mental health, he's over at his house sleeping like a baby. When some stranger was banging on my door at 3am demanding to be let in and I called him frantic, he didn't come to our rescue (lives two blocks from me). He told me to call the police (which I did, of course). So, add PUNK to the list.

While I have to manage my stress levels so I won't drop dead and leave my children motherless with a dodo for a father, he doesn't seem to have a care in the world. While I am a super talented woman with tangible dreams that I can't pursue because I have no time, no creative energy left at the end of the day, and can't put myself before my children, he's at home making music (that no one buys) and promoting his sh*t on IG. Everyone thinks he's such a cool dad because he posts pics with the kids and puts them in his videos sometimes. But I'm doing the heavy lifting. I resent it sooo much. No amount of talking, shaming, or imploring has ever changed his behavior.

Mr. Nice Guy isn't so nice. Mr. Nice Guy is a selfish, lazy miser and I'm sorry I procreated with him. I'm sad tonight thinking how different my life would have been if I'd made a better choice. Don't make the same mistake.