Online Dating

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-02-04T19:41:33+00:00

Background checks, identity verification, regularly updated video intro, and deplatforming based on user reports. Never going to happen, but I can dream.

2021-02-04T19:38:57+00:00

I've tried OLD so many times. There's attractive men, some will chat you up and their true intentions are revealed quickly.

If you get someone who isn't totally gross, they're still most likely to suggest a walking date, drinks or coffee..

If they deem you worthy of some actual decency, they might offer to take you to lunch or dinner at some low end, cheap restaraunt.

A lot of them will string you along for eternity, even if you click or get along they'll never ask you out. They just want your attention and for you to chase them. It puts you in a much easier position for them to check if you're down to fuck them.

If you do find any success on OLD please report back!

hopewings · 2021-02-04T19:55:44+00:00

What would make online dating better? If every woman in the world stopped participating in it.

Did you know that these dating sites themselves make spam fake profiles with hot photos? Also, most dating sites and apps are owned by one company, The Match Group, which has a near monopoly on all online dating.

In psychology there is the concept of intermittent reinforcement. The power of intermittent reinforcement lies in the power of uncertainty. It's how abuse works. It's also how online dating draws people in and keeps them playing.

From the words of employees themselves:

The main goal of the algorithm is always to get you to pay, never to actually ensure you meet somebody in real life.

A shit ton of female ads are fake. There’s literally databases full of setup data for dating sites. the big ones use them too.

Her ENTIRE job is to remove inappropriate images. Her JOB is to look at dick pics all day. Five days a week. That’s all.

One of our members got scammed out of six figures, and there was nothing we could do about it either. She was older, and lonely, and the person used an attractive picture and kind words to play off of that. ...we found older women were actually the most likely to be scammed.

It was me who replied to messages from users, I used to get paid between 11p and 18p per message, with bonuses for hitting certain message amounts. A lot of obvious paeadophiles, rapists etc. It was pretty scary what people would admit to with enough pushing.

Almost every dating app has a significantly larger percentage of men than women.

Men outnumber women on Tinder by almost nine to one, while even “female-friendly” apps like Bumble have fewer than 20% female users.

If you're an attractive man, you also get responses at a rate far, far greater than other men. So the balance of those "responses to men" is very unequally distributed. The top 1% gets more responses than the bottom 50% of men.

The following was posted by someone who worked as personal security detail for a higher up at a dating service.

There is a huge problem with people getting stealthed w/ HIV and other veneral disases, as well as being mugged or robbed while fucking about on these apps and the victims will threaten to lash out at the company violently or even show up at the offices demanding to speak to someone in charge while in the initial anger stage despite the company having no personal hand in the situation beyond arranging the medium for which to meet. Apparently the company can’t even send out a warning about the suspected user who is accused of stealthing to LE or public health due to counsel advising that it’s slander with anything less than bona fide evidence of that person being positive for the disease/committing a crime against the other and/or that person meeting the other and/or having intercourse. The companies do cooperate with law enforcement on a case by case basis IIRC but they do have the right to clam up and wait for a subpoena before they share user info/chat logs, etc. Meanwhile there are multiple people who have been robbed of thousands of dollars, given a disease and many more victims waiting to be had while the company sits on it’s ass and lets the complaints pile up. Even then it’s a whole messy area where it’s cheaper to not even get involved. Even banning the user from the service involves some amount of steps. I don’t blame the victims for being livid but what a whole-ass-fucking mess.

Women should know that online dating as it currently exists is at best a scam, at worst a threat to your life.

Kellianny · 2021-02-04T19:39:38+00:00

Making OLD a little better:

Google him and check his online presence. You can find out a lot.

Never match with anyone who's profile shows immaturity, bad habits, partying or narcissistic pics.

Always have him make the first move and persue you.

Does he ask questions to really get to know you?

Does he answer your questions with real answers?

It is usually clear if someone is intrested in you as a human being and not a passing entertainment.

Talk about common values and beliefs.

Talk on the phone and not just text before meeting.

Stay safe and block at first sign of disrespect or lack of effort.

destineygray · 2021-02-04T20:05:05+00:00

I’m going to go against the grain and say I think extensive background checks are a bad idea. They’re a privacy nightmare (and most developed countries have strict laws limiting who can see arrest records and court documents, they won’t let this happen), and it would mean that if Tinder ever got hacked, a hacker could obtain thousands of single women’s addresses. Not to mention serious predators/traffickers will easily evade it through name changes/false ids etc and it will give a false sense of security to women.

Never meet in private, reverse image search and google his name. You can find out a lot more than you think.

_mooness · 2021-02-04T20:39:22+00:00

This isn’t an answer to your question, but I think we should do away with OLD altogether. It’s so easy to fabricate a persona online. I think we should instead focus on ways to bring people together based on interests, culture, religion, etc. Dating shouldn’t be the goal of these organizations, but it could be a byproduct. At the end of the day, whether or not you find a partner, you found a cool group of people who like to do the same things as you. It won’t be a waste of time like OLD.

ScallionOk958 · 2021-02-04T21:18:41+00:00

I paid for a background check service for the past few months due to a stalker situation. I have unlimited searches. I don’t know if this is against the rules, but as long as I don’t get more requests than I can keep up with, I am happy to search someone and let you know if there is criminal history. I recently found out that an acquaintance was dating a rapist and swiftly sent her the report.

eveloe · 2021-02-05T02:04:08+00:00

I met my HV husband on Tinder, and it wasn't just luck.

My tactics:

- Have a list of qualities that are non-negotiables. Stick to them while having conversations with men.

- Don't swipe right on men that you don't fancy. If you swipe right on mediocre men, the algorithm will continue to serve up mediocre men. Being picky is better for the match.com-owned-app algorithms.

- Do not respond to low effort messages/ insults. Immediately block and then report. The algorithm marks them down in attractiveness when they receive fewer messages on the platform. Silence is golden. Blocking is platinum.

- Do not exchange numbers until you have done a video meet and had a first date. You want to be able to easily block this man out of your life if you can't be bothered.

- Don't be afraid to be a flirt! A lot of the posts on the subreddit lately tend to be either warning signs/ depressing or memes about LVM. Getting into a relationship is supposed to be fun!

- Have a list of men that you are meeting/dating

- Don't be afraid to let men know upfront that you're seeing other people (if you are). I tried not saying vs. saying and it made me feel less guilty to say.

in the meantime elate date looks promising for singles.

52490 · 2021-02-04T22:09:41+00:00

The inherent easy nature and low bar of online dating will always attract LVM in my opinion. HVM usually don’t have time, whereas LVM do. It just doesn’t seem likely to be improved due to the inherent factors of it.

DutyKooky · 2021-02-04T23:24:09+00:00

limited number of messages that men can send each day.

minimum requirements for for message length

ability to make it " their turn" to respond.

sheduling for phone callse

pot-date reviews for the men

Ability to flag/ tier your matches into categories

__kamikaze__ · 2021-02-04T20:35:10+00:00

Personally I haven’t had much luck with online dating. A HVM is already hard to find, but even more so online. IMO most HVM get snapped up easily in real life, they don’t need dating apps.

Averyhvw · 2021-02-04T19:57:08+00:00

Seconding background checks! Without this the entire dating pool is tainted.

purasangria · 2021-02-04T20:40:39+00:00

One where men pay a large sum to join.

They must first undergo a psychological evaluation and s background check.

They must have a net worth of $1 million plus.

They must take a polygraph to discern their true intentions toward a woman.

Which will all never happen, because any man who can pass all those qualifications is out meeting women in real life.

Do likewise, ladies.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-02-05T02:44:45+00:00

Something that worked as more of a matchmaking or concierge service would be it for me. Men would be required to submit to a background check as well as social media check and maybe even an in-person meet with a representative from the company to be accepted. There would be a cost to this service that may cost a bit more for men as well.

They provide detailed information about what they are looking for and women get to do the same. No swiping on profiles- the matchmaker sends the women a few male profiles each week and the men get to pick from ladies who have approved to be sent their profiles. Once they get a notification of a match, they get one week to contact the person and schedule a date. Or women can elect to have their profiles shown to men who are deemed good matches and are informed if there's mutual interest (less preferable than letting women be the initial choosers).

Once the people are vetted, maybe social mixers or some events can occur for members. To me it would be more like joining a country club but with a matchmaking component to it and the people are vetted to be who they say they are, that they are single and whether they have children etc... There would be a system for reporting abusive users, and if a complaint is found credible, they are banned from the platform. Any allegations of rape, trickery, std spreading, violence, etc. will be reported to law enforcement and the company will cooperate by providing any relevant information.

Many people I know who seem happy in their marriages are people who were introduced by a mutual friend or acquaintance. This would be a way for singles to expand their social pool in a similar way.

-LitmusTestX- · 2021-02-04T23:23:38+00:00

I think there's a market for a less skeevy dating app made by women. I bet one could be made that more women would like to use and wouldn't be full of bots or fake profiles to retain men either (which is an open secret in the dating app/online dating world) . A website or app which had accountability for men who are sexually aggressive, which is basically just abuse, and one that doesn't allow an incognito mode would be beneficial to women.

honeybeeroll · 2021-02-04T19:55:06+00:00

It would be a very concierge service, but an app that pre qualifies its members by googling them, checking court dockets/arrests records for their name, checking if marriage licenses exist, checking for proof of employment, checking social media, perhaps doing a full blown background check. And then refusing anyone: with an extensive or violent criminal record, with ANY signs of DV (even if he got booked but not charged for ex), who clearly has a gf/bf/is married, who is unemployed, whose social media mentions porn or God forbid has hentai, whose background checks show the person lied on their application to the OLD app, things like that. Personally I'd also like the option to filter out anyone whose background checks revealed extensive interest in anime lol. Also regular review of and deletion of accounts that are repeat offenders of having sexual content in their profile or in their messages.

This obviously would all take a lot of man power, just AI wouldn't cut it, so that's why I said concierge service you'd have to pay for. Even then idk, there'd be plenty of ways to get around it as a user. It would at least weed out the absolute bottom feeders so you'd have to swipe left less lol. But idk if such an app would even be possible because some scrote would probably sue that it's discriminating against him cuz he's an unemployed weeb lol

Summerisle7 · 2021-02-04T19:56:51+00:00

There have been a few excellent stand-alone posts about how to use OLD very strategically.

Title	Online Dating
Author	biggestsigh
Upvotes	90
Comments	51
Date	February 4, 2021 7:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lcnuec/online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/online-dating.738205 https://theredarchive.com/post/738205

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