Other than Dinner dates what are some FDS approved first dates?

vbych76 · 2021-10-08T03:13:01+00:00

I like art, so for me galleries and art museums seem like a nice date idea. Also there are those painting/ sculpture workshops (I think they allow only a limited number of people now, during the pandemic). What I mean is, that if you go out with someone, you have to have at least some things in common. Music appreciation, history, art, physical activities, dog shows - whatever you like could be fun with a company too. Also I like the idea of those guided city tours, even if you've lived there for lots of years, every city has those hidden gems you could have probably missed.

dancedancedance7 · 2021-10-08T00:39:57+00:00

I'd say anything that shows

effort
paying attention to your interests specifically (not just something they want to do anyway)
awareness of your need to feel safe as a woman (public place, great reception, obvious way for you to get home)

Platipus6 · 2021-10-08T01:09:11+00:00

If you're dating to find a life partner, that partner should already have a lifestyle you find compatible and it won't be a struggle for him to plan a date or invite you to things he already does, has been planning to do, or knows how to book/plan and is looking forward to taking a companion.

eg he regularly goes to cultural events, festivals, indoor rock climbing, antiquing, book readings, niche cinemas, paint-balling, cute restaurants etc.

fogplum · 2021-10-08T01:35:29+00:00

As far as the carrying the convo thing, if you vet them with a phone call first (~30 mins) you can see if he can hold a decent conversation and is relatively normal. Most of my first dates have been lunch/dinner.

Hhjjuuy · 2021-10-08T08:57:10+00:00

Dinner dates being slightly awkward is part of the point. If he can't carry a conversation through dinner that's good, you know not to go on a second date.

The fact that an activity date will aid you in bonding with someone early on and colours your opinion of them (ie you enjoy the museum so associate that enjoyment with the date and who you were there with) is why they aren't as good for first dates.

If he is into you and your personalities are compatible the ice won't take much to break.

shinyjewels · 2021-10-08T03:54:11+00:00

I've been on tons of really cool first dates that didn't involve food, and they were all really personalized to the things that I enjoy. Not all of them even cost money (ie MoMa on a Friday night or ice skating in Bryant Park), but they were all high effort because it was evident the guy listened to my interests and wanted to get to know me as a person more.

Stand up comedy
Met Opera
Ice skating
MoMa
Picnic along the river (where the dude prepared everything for the picnic) --> my current BF did this haha
Paint and sip
Six Flags (I really wanted to go on a rollercoaster and mentioned it in passing, and he made it happen)
Karaoke
Escape Room

PumpkinEnjoyment · 2021-10-08T04:24:41+00:00

Anything that shows effort, takes your interests into account and is an appropriate venue for a date I would consider FDS approved.

For example, I'm really into marine biology, so an aquarium visit followed by dinner is a good idea. Some other date spots I liked were museums, art galleries and a winery visit. Later in our relationship a girl took me to an astronomy night in a national park near our city, and it was a blast. But I could quickly see it becoming a nightmare if she hadn't been HV.

Some of the shittiest dates I've been on have been dinner dates and park/coffee 'dates' (I was such a pickme 🤢).

It all depends on what you're interested in, and the level of effort and planning they put into making the date enjoyable.

shedipity · 2021-10-08T10:18:39+00:00

A dinner date is great for vetting irl, how they eat, how they carry a convo, how they dress, how they talk to the waiters, if they wanna go 50/50 on the bill etc. But if you’re interested in going on a date with the guy, your vetting should have found things you are compatible with so he should be able to plan something worthy!!

spicybookmaster · 2021-10-08T02:28:18+00:00

I’m very shy, so I like to do an activity as a first date…then maybe dinner too. It helps me burn off nervous energy and it gets the conversation going. I include this type of date on my dating profile under “first date” question. If they ask me what I want to do, I ignore them bc obviously they didn’t read my profile. I’ve done an arcade bar date, which was alright, but not as fun to me for a first date.

kinkardine · 2021-10-08T05:46:56+00:00

Might be an unpopular opinion but I would suck it up and sit through a dinner date, having a meal in a public setting reveals how much of a decency act he can pull on. I am an introvert too, back in pickmeisha days had a situationship where the guy took me to a dinner 1 yr after we met, and on that dinner I found how insecure he is in public, he snapped at me few times, made fun of my accent and took side with a PUA who insulted me by trying to initiate small conversation. By the time dinner ended I was exhausted and ashamed to have wasted so much time with that guy. People who are not in peace with themselves do not have the ability to enjoy even a meal, that itself is a good vetting strategy.

FDS-GFY · 2021-10-08T03:40:31+00:00

I believe a fancy breakfast is ok but can’t be coffee and bagels. Sit down, high quality brunch.

questionsaboutrel521 · 2021-10-10T12:51:47+00:00

I want to add that early dating shows effort about sharing an experience together in a way that builds a bond, just the two of you. So it’s not just the what, but the why.

I’ll give an example. A common first date or early date is to go see a movie.

A lovely experience I had when first dating my bf was that we both loved film and it was getting close to “award season.” So we tried to watch all the major Oscar nominated films together. This led us to some fun places, as we had to go to indie cinemas outside of our town. So we ended up at new restaurants and bars as well, and seeing different neighborhoods - it was really a shared bonding experience. Then, on the night of the Oscars itself, we watched at home and he cooked an “award show” fancy meal. I printed out ballots and we “voted” on who we thought would win and then marked our sheets on whether we were right or wrong as a gentle competition.

So you see there that it’s not just about going to the movies. By the end we had really experienced something unique together that showed high effort on his part.

More_Pothos · 2021-10-08T16:53:39+00:00

I often enjoy seasonal things happening in town like pumpkin picking, Christmas markets, a spring fair, etc.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2021-10-08T05:56:51+00:00

First dates need to be safe and public (no hikes, bungee jumping etc). You need to be able to talk and judge him.Later it can get more interesting--tickets (paid for by him) to an event/show/concert you like. Activities that require effort and planning on his part, e.g. picnic followed by art gallery (to see an exhibition you are into).

hiphopanonymous98 · 2021-10-08T02:02:08+00:00

Today I had a guy on Hinge say “I know where I’m taking you on our first date.” (University) football game- the RIVAL of where I went to school 😂- he would have known if he put in any sort of effort to what I would like to do. No thanks homie

thewetdog_ · 2021-10-09T18:18:48+00:00

Something that takes planning, costs money, isn’t an excuse to see you in a swimsuit, public and “decent” (ie. Not a club with table service).

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-10-13T13:28:47+00:00

My idea of a HV date that does not involve food would involve:

Some kind of art activity. These could include basket weaving, and pottery painting classes. This are like the most underrated activities and sadly it gets a lot of flack from men because they find it boring. I think it’s a fun way to hang out with someone.
One day workshop. I went to a photography workshop and got some really cute photos.l and learnt about angles.
Museum and Art Gallery events. These are the best events. Imagine sipping wine while looking at art all dressed up. You have to pay to get in and there is a dress code, so you can vet the guy and see if he puts in any effort.
My cousin took a painting workshop with her hubby where they met up once a week for a month. It looked really fun and they each made a painting that they hung in their living room as a centre piece.

As you can see, I love art, but it’s so hard to find a guy who has the patience and actually enjoys these things. Most of the time, they just want to grab food, see a movie, or go to some kind car show.

pozzalovah · 2021-10-08T17:38:35+00:00

The guys are not inteoverted but they are just not as invested .Even if they are ,you would someone who can lead the conversation or atleast puts an effort .

Title	Other than Dinner dates what are some FDS approved first dates?
Author	kikyo143
Upvotes	183
Comments	44
Date	October 8, 2021 12:30 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q3mgny/other_than_dinner_dates_what_are_some_fds/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/other-than-dinner-dates-what-are-some-fds-approved.1076799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076799

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