People really think "communication" is going to help her

Noogenesis21 · 2020-11-23T03:53:32+00:00

It's training on his part, and a deliberate predator tactic designed to manage her expectations down, so that when he DOES toss her a tiny complimentary breadcrumb, she'll be sooooo giddy and grateful that he'll have her eating out of his scrote hand.

biggestsigh · 2020-11-23T03:35:19+00:00

This girl thinks she has a healthy relationship and thinks insecurity is her problem.

All the comments are telling her to "talk to him" and "let him know it is hurting you"

creamtart_ · 2020-11-23T04:04:16+00:00

Oh he is definitely aware of what he’s doing. He is slowly breaking her down until she becomes desperate for his validation. This will keep going until she will do anything just for the slightest nod of approval from him, and that’s where his depraved intentions will become clear. It’s classic RP scrotery.

Men are smarter than they let on. Their greatest con is convincing women that they are incapable of the simplest of tasks so that women give up asking and do it for them.

DivineHag · 2020-11-23T03:49:14+00:00

What is there to "read into"? Your man doesn't compliment or boost you and in fact undermines you by complimenting other women to you. He is the worst. Dump him.

biggestsigh · 2020-11-23T04:36:18+00:00

He is clearly doing it on purpose to lower her self-esteem.

There is no other reason for him to do it if he has any idea what his girlfriend does and doesn't like.

She's not his buddy, and doesn't need his locker-room talk. And that's just assuming he's not cheating, and trying to piss her off in a lesser way to throw her off his trail.

:)

guccitechno · 2020-11-23T05:26:41+00:00

Wow was not expecting him to be 30. He should definitely know better and is not going to change. At 30 he’s doing it to “put her in her place” and make her feel insecure. This boy isn’t good for anyone

LadyGrimes · 2020-11-23T05:55:18+00:00

He compliments other women and not you but you somehow have a healthy relationship? Okay 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡

jjlew922 · 2020-11-23T04:16:44+00:00

Porn addict. Plain and simple. Check his computer for proof and then dump his ass. It never ceases to amaze me how average shitty guys love to tear down amazing women like this due to their own insecurities and warped perception of life. Let him go live in Never, Never Land

thrway01010 · 2020-11-23T11:20:19+00:00

He doesn't compliment her because he wants her to be insecure and seek his validation. He doesn't want to build her up because he's afraid she will become "too confident" and realize she deserves better (HE knows he can't do better). Insecure guy tactic. No real love, it's about control.

Gambit12345 · 2020-11-23T14:47:41+00:00

I used to always hype up my ex. One day I realized he never called me pretty, random men in my college campus told me more often than he did. He said “If I say it too much it’ll lose its effect!” I knew he used to call his ex pretty all the time because I saw the receipts (bad idea: never look up their exes and compare). I already felt inadequate because of that, I thought he genuinely didn’t think I was pretty. But I also knew he was insecure because I was smarter than him and on track to have a higher salary when we finished college. But it didn’t make me seek his validation. It made me look at him like wtf is wrong with you.

galian84 · 2020-11-23T11:47:50+00:00

Communication? That’s not going to help for shit. My NVM ex was just like this. I can count on one hand the number of times he complimented me in 7 years together. Most of them was simply “you look nice.”

Meanwhile, he had no issue complimenting other women or talking about how beautiful an actress or model was.

Guess what, he didn’t respect me (or women as a whole) and he did exactly what a previous poster said, threw me a crumb every now and then so I’d be grateful for the minuscule amount of effort he was putting in. This went for everything else in the relationship as well.

KateJ1982 · 2020-11-23T17:13:50+00:00

This is where all conventional relationship advice completely fails women. She will be told that she needs to be more secure, be a better communicator, always look her best for him, analyze him why he's doing this... barf. When in fact, the only thing she needs to do is ask herself why on earth she would ever want to date or even be around someone who behaves this way.

He's doing it to manipulate her. He already knows.

janatztxcxxx · 2020-11-23T17:44:31+00:00

If I were her, I’d do the same thing. Mirror everything.

2020-11-23T19:57:25+00:00

This is one relationship habit I can’t stand. What could I possibly gain by knowing my SO finds so and so actress hot? What reason other than to subtly diminish me would he bring it up? It’s fine to think someone is hot but why talk about it with the person you’re dating? Especially when they expressed they don’t like it. Say it to your friends. Or maybe just keep it to yourself as very few of my adult conversations revolve around attractiveness of other people.

AllTheBeanToes · 2020-11-23T20:19:35+00:00

All three of my exes did this. First love bombing me at the beginning and once they had me on the hook slowly starting to erode my self esteem by never complimenting me, searching for flaws to point out and triangulating me with other women. She needs to run fast. I was stupid and thought I had to appreciate their 'honesty'. Never again

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2020-11-23T21:24:40+00:00

He's 30. He is doing it on purpose. He won't change. Kick him out yesterday.

MulticoloredCatMug · 2020-11-24T00:28:06+00:00

"we have a healthy relationship"

If you have to say it, you don't.

Title	People really think "communication" is going to help her
Author	biggestsigh
Upvotes	258
Comments	46
Date	November 23, 2020 3:33 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jza0gu/people_really_think_communication_is_going_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/people-really-think-communication-is-going-to-help.726856 https://theredarchive.com/post/726856

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