Since breaking up…

BashRunes · 2021-07-30T21:54:43+00:00

I went one year single after my abusive narcissist ex, in a state I'd never been to. This ex had completely warped my mind so badly that I couldn't even speak unless spoken to for a whole month after leaving!

x Learned to be comfortable alone, that a guy's just there to add to my life, not to complete it.

x Turned down so much male attention that I realized how empowering "no" really was.

x Embraced my hobbies and amassed a pretty impressive retro gaming and old, obscure tech collection. Explored some awesome abandoned places, joined a Pokémon TCG league.

x Eventually did meet someone I liked and was absorbed into his social group. Travelled all over the state with our friends, and I had become confident and secure enough in myself to really feel like I belonged somewhere for the first time.

x One year later, I was also confident and secure enough to break up with the boyfriend after the first strike: caught him texting a 16 year old (we're both early 20's). I didn't even question it.

x Since then, I've developed a reputation for doing no harm and taking no shit. People include me, listen to me, I have pretty much everything on my own socially that I wanted from that relationship with the abusive ex six years ago. It's so cool.

x Also, I'll be one year into recovery from the eating disorder the ex gave me in October! Additionally, three years clean from benzo abuse this month. :)

Fetus92 · 2021-07-30T21:12:51+00:00

Yesss queen! Congrats!!!! Like you, my weight loss journey has flourished, I can actually get more than 3 hours of sleep, my stress eczema has disappeared (I wonder why), I’m actively looking for a better job, started hitting up the gym with one of my girlfriends, bonded more with family, and am learning how to play the piano. Everyone in my family has commented on how much happier/great I look and honestly, yes. I am happier. I didn’t realize how much internalizing my feelings had worn me down and made me lose myself! Now that I’m out of that awful relationship I feel so much more confident!!! Even my co-workers have had an easier time talking to me!

letsberealforamoment · 2021-07-30T22:00:19+00:00

Oh my where to start?

When i booted my first exh out, my home life became 100% more peaceful. No LVM whining, drinking, perving, making messes and eating and picking fights with me. No longer did i dread going into the house after work. It was just me, my 3 year okd and my 11 year old. Utter bliss and quietude. My house was cleaner and my grocery bill went down. The kids did more the around the house than he ever did. And they did their chores without bitching or expecting a cookie for it.

And then a few months after he left, my sex drive came back and had some of the best sex in my life. Prior, i convinced myself i was asexual and my vag was broken. 🤡 Nah, it was just my body rejecting my LVM first husband.

mashibeans · 2021-07-30T21:34:24+00:00

Dropping all that parasitic weight off of your back made it so you could jump up and soar through all that level up, queen!

Last_Nerve42 · 2021-07-30T23:08:23+00:00

After leaving a toxic relationship, I ran a marathon, trained in martial arts, lost some weight, read a TON of books... I had the time of my life!

CannonEyes · 2021-07-30T22:00:57+00:00

Broke up with my cheating LVM a year and a half ago but since then I have a new job that pays very well, my own apartment in a HCOL city that I love, am in the best physical shape of my life and I'm in a relationship with a HVM while although I'm still vetting, he is leagues above the loser I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with

MACMUA · 2021-07-30T21:40:30+00:00

Living your best life

Business as usual CONGRATS

TumbleweedForeign699 · 2021-07-30T22:45:24+00:00

Passed all my uni exams, moved out, made new friends and rekindled old ones, started going to the gym, got two job offers and came off anti depressants. The last two were coming anyway but with the free time and energy I have they’ve materialised faster.

Also, just feel dead weight lifted! I wish the “relationship” didn’t go on as long as it did and eat away my prime years. My grades, physical and mental health all could’ve been better… The most important being my mental health which was literally on the brink many times this year due to them.

Thankful everyday regardless that they don’t get to influence my mood anymore with their lying and general sucking-the-life-out-of-me!

camille_san · 2021-07-31T03:32:41+00:00

I dated a verbally abusive guy in my 20s, and was so stressed out that the inside of my mouth was broken out in ulcers for almost a year. I couldn’t get rid of them. They all went away within two weeks of me getting rid of HIM, and that’s when I realized his bullshit had been causing them the whole time

Few-Fortune-2391 · 2021-07-30T20:24:51+00:00

Amazing progress! Congrats!

I broke up with my ex. Got the masters he said I wouldn't ever get, got paid 10k to study that masters, got in to the profession I wanted, regularly beating 150 to 200 people to job positions and got my anxiety and depression symptoms under control.

foodgrowerfoodeater · 2021-07-31T05:32:17+00:00

I've posted about my level up story before in the female level up strat sub but I will just say, after dumping my NVX I just like myself so much better. My inner voice is kinder. I feel more authentic, living in my truth. Existing involves so much less inner strife. I feel free.

edit: named the wrong sub

runesnroses · 2021-07-30T20:48:13+00:00

Great work!!

I’ve lost about 8 pounds, started writing a book, gotten rid of about half my paper clutter, fixed up my house to get ready to put it on the market, and have almost finished preparing my application materials for a job I hope to get.

I really needed this positive message today, thanks sis!

Fetia_ · 2021-07-31T06:17:41+00:00

I breathed The constant stress of feeling not wanted/valued/waiting for him to leave was gone. I did better than I ever had academically, I started reading more and focused on me Mostly I didn’t have a ball or tension in my gut the stress I had made me feel physically sick and drained I was so tense to the point I felt like I couldn’t bend normally I just thought I was out of shape I don’t feel wound up anymore I’m not stiff I breath easier abs have no weight on me

queen-wannabe · 2021-07-31T07:37:55+00:00

This just goes on to show that women genuinely thrive and mature from bad relationships and breakups! We’re way better off being single than with being with men. Than dealing with their bullshit and future faking lv behaviors. We’re just born with it❤️

frodosdojo · 2021-07-31T15:14:01+00:00

I bought a house. The LVX would never commit to buying a house because as he said, he didn't want anyone to take it from him. I traveled, I went to concerts, renewed my friendships, restored my relationship with my child, went through trauma counseling and regular counseling, learned to put myself first. It's just such a blessing to be free and do whatever the f I want to do.

kurikuri7 · 2021-07-30T22:53:55+00:00

Lost so much weight, got a job promotion almost DOUBLING my pay, started to reconnect with friends again, living my life how I want to live it, less cleaning up, less chores, no more worrying if he was happy (this was his job to do but he told me that it was MY job to make him happy! What BS), less groceries, healthier eating, looking way WAY better, more time for myself, happier, less stressed, spending money on myself to feel better (skin products, therapy, better food, etc.), taking trips WHENEVER I want without consulting another person

Additionally, I met a new guy.. with him, WAY BETTER SEX, he makes me feel taken care of, lets me be independent, supports me all the time, makes me laugh all the time, and respects and listens to my boundaries and when I have issues with things. Actually holds himself accountable when he fucks up (my ex husband NEVER apologized and never held accountability)

FirePreferred_theOG · 2021-07-31T04:02:04+00:00

100% yes

dancedancedance7 · 2021-07-31T08:01:11+00:00

Yaaas level up!!

PinkBlair99 · 2021-08-01T03:28:47+00:00

I got my dream job, learned a foreign language, traveled a ton, and bought a four bedroom house where I live alone with my cat like royalty

MsXxSelfDestructxX · 2021-08-01T01:26:42+00:00

i got better looking, he got a new gut

SunflowerinVirgo0903 · 2021-08-01T04:16:57+00:00

Got into body building and have become extremely fit and know my way around a gym. About to graduate with my associates degree. Only 2 classes left. Started dancing and singing again.

ChocoBananza · 2021-08-03T15:49:13+00:00

I’ve finally accomplished my childhood dream of being a crazy cat lady! My NVX made fun of my love for animals, but since I dumped him in January, I’ve set up my own rescue shelter. I’ve got 9 cats in it (in recovery, or disabled), I’ve found home for 8, and I’ve spayed/neutered 14 street cats since May.

My veterinarian is concerned for me, bless his heart, that the vet & medicine bills, and cat food will eat up my income, but I’ve supported a leech for years, and now that he’s gone, I’ve got SO MUCH MORE disposable income. I’m more than happy to invest it in health of an innocent and loyal animal.

I’ve also regulated my sleep, stabilised my mental health, got a raise, started building my investment portfolio, read ton of books, and strengthened the bonds with my family and friends. I’ve also found a HVM (still vetting, tho) who fully supports my dreams, and treats me like a queen.

All thanks to randomly finding this sub in 2020. Couldn’t have done it without you ladies! 💞

Title	Since breaking up…
Author	Adventurous_Award351
Upvotes	713
Comments	28
Date	July 30, 2021 7:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ouryde/since_breaking_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/since-breaking-up.795752 https://theredarchive.com/post/795752

Comments