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[–]MurchaMarcha 351 points352 points353 points 5 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link
Why do men expect women to be their personal therapists and punching bags? I always see posts on Reddit about how men need support, need to be able to cry, etc, and there's always whining about how women need to help them realize emotions are okay. If men weren't so toxic to each other, maybe they'd be happier. Why aren't more men setting up domestic abuse shelters for men instead of pressuring us into having all-gender shelters? Why aren't more men reaching out to their friends and family, helping them when they're sick or tired, nursing them when they're ill? Are men making each other cards and getting each other flowers on special occasions?
My female friends do so, so much for each other. I don't see my male friends doing a fraction of that, and they complain "why does nobody think to give men flowers and hugs :((" lol think men, think.
It's always on women to do the real work of holding the community together.
[–]dak4f2FDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It starts with them.
But they don't take responsibility. They weren't socialized or taught to, but need to grow.
[–]Curiousquest2FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They’re also lazy af and have got away with it for so long so why change now? Dating apps absolutely enable this behavior.
[–]SoftritoFDS Apprentice 130 points131 points132 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
They expect us to do the work for them cause that's what mothers do. When women help each other they get upset and chant 'what about men', because we are taking 'mommy resources' away from them to focus on the 'inferior sex'.
[–]SouthernbelllleFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dang this is so true. We’re not worthy of this level of affection. How can we when we’re not seen as real humans?
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When women help each other they get upset and chant 'what about men', because we are taking 'mommy resources' away from them to focus on the 'inferior sex'.
It even happens to lesbians. Some men truly believe we exist only to please them.
[–]HhjjuuyFDS Apprentice 97 points98 points99 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And when women do try to address the issues men face under patriarchy on a larger scale men call us misandrists.
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I always see posts on Reddit about how men need support, need to be able to cry, etc
Notice how the guys who say this are rarely in therapy.
[–]AcademicMobile1FDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I never got why men think they need another person around them in order to cry, process emotions etc.
But I guess that requires being okay with solitude, and going through the often uncomfortable process of letting your feelings/emotions run their course so you can process them, rather than expect someone to comfort you and do all the emotional lifting.
[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This! Why aren't men doing this for each other? If they were more supportive of each other they'd be much happier and wouldn't be complaining about this. Do they even support and coddle us women when we go through mental health problems or other issues? Then why do they expect it's on women to do so for them if they can't even do that for their own?
[–]SouthernbelllleFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why aren’t they changing the world they created to be more safe for each other? They’re the ones that launch wars, and propose economic systems that cause this level of cruelty in the first place. Such egg heads.
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. But they love to put women into the same cathegory as men who cause the majority of violence. When men commit crimes during war we constantly hear "it's just human nature" as If women did the same. They complain to women that men make up the majority of victims of violent crimes, but who caused those crimes? Why do they blame us, complain to us about it?
[–]TigreImpossibileFDS Apprentice 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
why does nobody think to give men flowers and hugs
To be fair, I feel like this is a ridiculous Reddit or at least internet idea. I could walk up to anyone I know, of all walks of life, all ages, genders and if I said "waaah, why don't men get hugs and flowers?"... They would laugh in my face. Maybe not the hugs, but fucking flowers?
Ugghh, God, fuck off Reddit idiot!!! Ridiculous. Can you imagine presenting any average spouse, brother, father, male friend etc with FLOWERS? I honestly can't think of a more weird or awkward gift unless you specifically KNOW it will be well received because he likes plants or something.
Classic Reddit wisdom, you can take it straight to the trash!!! You won't even get a dime for it at the recycle center 🤣
[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Eh, I think it depends on the guy. If he's secure with himself and not fussed about his "masculinity", flowers would be fine.
I bought my dad flowers for his birthday, he loved them haha
[–]dameagaceeFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True, I gave flowers to some HVM I know, they enjoyed it, but I rather not gift some to someone with a fragile masculinity because I'm afraid they will hurt me for "insulting" them
[–]lostmilleniaFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awwwh so cute!
[–]TigreImpossibileFDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well I did say the average male. Of course it's fine to buy flowers for a man if he would really enjoy them.
[–]ThimbleK96 208 points209 points210 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
The lack of men’s domestic violence shelter ones always kills me. Like… most of the ones for women were started by victims of abuse or family of victims of abuse. Men have always had the majority of money and power, make your own. Secondly, what’s hilarious there are tons of men shelters. Homeless shelters. They aren’t fucking unisex. Most homeless shelters are for men only because any woman who would go would obviously be assaulted. That’s why there are specific women’s shelters. And usually with the specification of domestic violence because that’s usually what causes women to be homeless. Men become homeless because of all kinds of weird shit. My ex became homeless to stalk me. Stayed at a homeless shelter for a month to work there and buy a cheap ass car and then show up at my job to “impress me”
[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie 66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean, technically, anything other than a "woman's shelter" is a man's shelter anyway, there won't be women there.....
[–]rednopalFDS Newbie 256 points257 points258 points 5 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
I absolutely hate the ‘men won’t go to therapy’ jokes. Since when do abusers care to stop hurting others? Of course they don’t go to therapy, they’re having a perfectly good time thriving in patriarchy.
They’re overgrown, horrible kids. They whip up victim narratives as needed when they’re the fking perpetrators. No one excels at outrageous bullshit like they do.
[–]VervibesFDS Newbie[S] 139 points140 points141 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
For them, therapy is: smoking weed, hanging around low value friends and pickmeishas, movies, shows, video games, drinking, partying, and porn. Can’t expect anything from people who don’t even prioritize themselves in healthy ways.
All things reinforced by patriarchy and “culture”.
[–]AnKeWaFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Please put that into a asshole dude starter pack 😂
Together with "Has a 15 year old girlfriend at 26", "has dirt under his finger nails because "hygiene is for girls", and "Mom still washes his underwear"
[–]Forest_FanaticFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is SO true. When I was younger, in my first professional job, I had a 25 y.o. male flatmate, who also worked in the same professional field. He slept on a mattress on the floor, did not wash his dishes or clean anything ever, his bathroom (luckily separate to mine) looked like he threw mouthwash randomly in the air and tried to catch it in his mouth and then spit it at the mirror 🤢 and, here's the kicker, he left every Saturday to drive to his mum's place with two giant laundry bags and came back with his clothes all washed and pressed. His mum even pre-tied his ties, so he could just slip them on over his shirt FFS!
And yet he STILL managed to get pickmeisha's to come back to the apartment and spend the night on his floor mattress (with sheets I never saw him wash) 🤮
He spent his free time with his friends going to strip clubs, watching sport, playing online games and generally being one of the 'bro's'. Yet he constantly knocked on my door expecting free talk therapy from me because he was always 'depressed' because he felt that women were only with him for his money 🤦♀️ The patriarchy has made men delusional.
Moved out as soon as my lease was up.
Fun fact, he hit me up on FB 10 years later because he was now married with a child and wanted to know how I 'coped' with marriage, because he was 'bored and depressed'. It never ends.
[–]AnKeWaFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
God that poor woman
God that poor child
And poor you, too
Why are men.
[–]Forest_FanaticFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, 'why are men' indeed... 🤢
It was also a great reminder that trash will never turn into treasure.
[–]besteirei 90 points91 points92 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When men see women being emotional with each other, they get mad because they know they could never be like that with other men.
The problem is that they believe this is due to “male oppression”, instead of them just refusing to put any effort into their friendships. For lots of men, sitting by each other silently playing video games is “bonding”. They don’t know intimacy because even the bare minimum of effort is too much for them, but they still expect to be loved unconditionally regardless.
[–]HhjjuuyFDS Apprentice 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They get mad because they know that women understanding their experiences are more than isolated incidents against us as individuals is a huge threat to their power. They might not know that's why they're mad, but it's what they've been taught their whole lives, just like us.
[–]ohmiraFDS Apprentice 113 points114 points115 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Seriously - most men I know put as much effort into their male friendships as they do their romantic relationships (literally zero percent effort) and complain constantly about being lonely. They honestly believe they need to do nothing for themselves and people should still be fawning love and adoration on them. It’d be funny if it didn’t leave these men so broken and alone :/
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A guy friend (who I don't talk to anymore) once complained about how much effort I put into my friendships because he "couldn't keep up."
Like he actually viewed effort as a chore rather than a good thing, and a sign that people care about you. That's about the time I noticed he had no other friends and had burned bridges with a lot of people.
He ended up marrying a doormat who did everything for him and demanded nothing in return.
[–]ohmiraFDS Apprentice 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s exactly it - they think doing anything without an immediate, direct benefit to themselves only is a chore. It’s boring and pathetic and another reason women are so important to male health. They’d be entirely alone if not for their wives.
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie 61 points62 points63 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's like they think women just automatically have friendships.....like, no. We have to work at them, and sometimes pretty hard. I had a male colleague try to whine about how lonely he is, and how lucky I am to have friends. Seriously, scrote? There's nothing 'lucky' about it. I moved to London two years ago at age 34 and had to rebuild my entire life from scratch. I knew nobody here. I joined a ton of Meetup groups and classes and made a huge effort at work to attend the after-work drinks and socials. To do these things, I often had to take the risk of getting home late at night on my own, risking danger men generally don't face. I reached out to any connections I had and friends of friends to ask if they wanted to get coffee. I had only been living here ten months when the pandemic kicked off, and in that time I'd met quite a few friends and had a relationship. And men have the audacity to sit there and tell me I'm lucky?
[–]SouthernbelllleFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Really happy for you to make such a big leap, and hear it’s working out fabulously for you. It’s such an amazing feeling. 💗
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
These men never actually take charge of their mental health. They love being able to play the "nobody cares" card because it's an excuse to avoid treatment and continue their toxic actions. They whimper and whine about society stigmatizing them, as if that takes away the option to get their shit together. It genuinely pisses me off -- I've rebuilt my fucking life taking care of my mental health. I can become literally psychotic if I'm not mindful of taking my meds. I've lost longtime friends. I hide my medications when certain people come over because they've been so shitty about it. It's a joke in multiple circles that I'm cRaZy. Does it suck? Yep. Do I piss and moan and say nobody cares? Nope. I take care of myself, by myself. Nobody helped me out of this hole. If women are truly the weaker sex then these clowns should have no issue following our examples of emotional stability and self-care. Yet...🤡 here they are.
[–]SouthernbelllleFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good for you dear, stay strong. It’s a long journey but so rewarding. 💗💗
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you queen! I've gotten this far, no way I'm ever giving up ♥💪 the leveling up process has honestly saved my life. I joined FDS about a year ago (before I made this throwaway) as a different woman, unmedicated and fragile. I don't even know her anymore. Lol
[–]Zealousideal_Car_163 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lmao showed my brother and he laughed a bit even though he hates the subreddit
[–]shipintheskyFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Your brother hates FDS? 🤔 My condolences
[–]nnanna11FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
how about men deal with their mental health with…. a therapist….or other men?!! you know, like how most women find comfort in each other, or female therapists?!!
[–]Newwavesupport3657FDS Newbie 60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is my favorite sub lol. Spot on.
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is just a new way to make us sympathy fuck them and give them therapy.
What do I care if a cheating sociopath is depressed and lonely? Next.
As the song goes ‘cry me a river’
https://youtu.be/DXg6UB9Qk0o
[–]freelancepsychicFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men: "we don't want to be bread winners!"
Also men: "women are gold diggers!"
Also men: "i have a lot of money; have sex with me!"
Also men: pays for sex; watches porn; frequents strip club; pays for only fans "sex workers are WHORESSS! IF MY DAUGHTER WAS A SEX WORKER I WOULD DISOWN HER!!!"
Also men: "women just want free meals!"
Also men: only willing to go 50/50 on dates
Also men: "want to get coffee or go for a walk?"
Also men: "she didn't put out. She's ugly anyway"
Also men: 6 months later... "hey, remember me? Wanna grab a drink?"
Also men: "haha I have a dad bod but I don't even have kids!"
Also men: "single moms are used up and disgusting! Stretch marks are gross!"
Also men: "if she wants a man over 6 foot she's shallow"
Also men: "my ideal woman has perfect skin, nice hair, nice eyebrows, nice eyelashes, manicured/pedicured nails, big boobs, tiny waste, big round ass, long legs, no body hair, loves giving blowjobs, loves anal, will do anything for me, and cooks all my meals for me every day"
[–]VervibesFDS Newbie[S] 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Oh btw, I never liked this show (but my LVM ex and his friends did). Eric Andre is overrated and so not funny.
[–]wemadethemachineFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I always got the sense that he particularly targeted women for ridicule -- like, it seemed like he focused in on Lauren Conrad because her work is seen as frivolous or shallow, whereas men like him don't have the same level of ridicule for equally frivolous media that is male-focused or produced by men
[–]Coolgirl42069niceFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Respectfully disagree. Lol it's a style of comedy I like. Him hugging aoc is my background. Haha had to pop on to say that. But this post is so accurate! Thanks for sharing
[–]MarsV89FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love his style of comedy too
[–]user10i8opThrowaway Account 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women suffer more from major depression than men. Yet so many guys on here seem to think it's a 'man only' problem and that women have it easy..
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]HhjjuuyFDS Apprentice 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ok bro.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He's a Trump fan too. Dear god.
[–]midwesternwindsFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The kind many men think about women but nobody minds
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[–]MurchaMarcha 351 points352 points353 points (25 children) | Copy Link
[–]dak4f2FDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Curiousquest2FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SoftritoFDS Apprentice 130 points131 points132 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SouthernbelllleFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HhjjuuyFDS Apprentice 97 points98 points99 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AcademicMobile1FDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple 27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SouthernbelllleFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TigreImpossibileFDS Apprentice 26 points27 points28 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]dameagaceeFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lostmilleniaFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TigreImpossibileFDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThimbleK96 208 points209 points210 points
(2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie 66 points67 points68 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rednopalFDS Newbie 256 points257 points258 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]VervibesFDS Newbie[S] 139 points140 points141 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnKeWaFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Forest_FanaticFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnKeWaFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Forest_FanaticFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]besteirei 90 points91 points92 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HhjjuuyFDS Apprentice 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ohmiraFDS Apprentice 113 points114 points115 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ohmiraFDS Apprentice 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie 61 points62 points63 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SouthernbelllleFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SouthernbelllleFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zealousideal_Car_163 36 points37 points38 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]shipintheskyFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]nnanna11FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Newwavesupport3657FDS Newbie 60 points61 points62 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist 36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]freelancepsychicFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VervibesFDS Newbie[S] 22 points23 points24 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]wemadethemachineFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Coolgirl42069niceFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MarsV89FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]user10i8opThrowaway Account 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted]
(5 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]HhjjuuyFDS Apprentice 22 points23 points24 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]midwesternwindsFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link