What Is FDS position on Matchmakers?

purasangria · 2021-04-18T22:15:38+00:00

A friend of mine hired a very expensive matchmaker (Kell*her) and had a terrible experience. They were under contract to give her a certain number of dates during a certain time period, and so they fulfilled that by matching her up with gross men, the kind of fat, dumpy men that were in their male non-client database, that you see on OLD sites, desperately seeking a woman, but they are so gross that they can't get one.

She did have a LTR from one of those dates, but he was cheap as hell, and didn't treat her well, and had "commitment issues." He was clearly looking to get sex without commitment, so what did she need this expensive service for? In short, she got the online dating experience, but for tens of thousands of dollars. She paid to get set up with fat, dumpy, cheap men.

I myself once enquired about such a service, and was told, "For $50,000, we can find you someone closer to your age." Which bascially meant that I'd still be lucky to get someone in his 60s. The same shit that I'd see on OLD sites. I told this lady that I would rather stick the $50k in my retirement account and be single for the rest of my life.

In short, it's just another way for predatory businesses to take advantage of womens' desire for partnership. Dont' bother; keep your money and live your life, its a better way to find a partner.

lucidlotus · 2021-04-19T01:19:53+00:00

I've only seen negative stories about matchmakers. Honestly the five-figure prices scream scam to me. They don't need many clients to stay in business at those rates.

Shinygoldendragonfly · 2021-04-18T22:17:56+00:00

It could work

Keep in mind that was ten years ago and you don't know how your friend's marriage actually is. They could just be externally couple goals.

Putting that aside, I also feel that a majority of the applicants are men who couldn't get a women to marry them without the help of their parents and these apps. Considering how easy it is for men to find good women, I'll be a little spectacle as to why he hasn't found a suitable match in his circle. I'd also be wary of men having a secret girlfriend and breaking up with her few days prior to wedding and men marrying you for dowry/ greencard.

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-04-18T22:07:21+00:00

I think it can work well.

Matchmakers can weed out repeat offenders
Matchmakers know more people who are looking for mates than you do
Matchmakers can set up the rules of engagement

Imho, there's a huge need for an FDS bumble and personalized matchmaking service.

LavenderMechanism · 2021-04-19T00:29:41+00:00

A friend of mine tried a matchmaker in her late 20s and kept getting set up with men who were substantially older than her.

stealthreplife · 2021-04-19T03:18:54+00:00

My time to shine.

I tried a service that rhymes with Hawkify, it was worthless. They will lie to you to hook you in, tell you whatever you want to hear for you to put your credit card down. Then they'll either tell you that you can only pick three traits for them to guarantee (like if religion, political affiliation, and height are all important to you, they'll give you that but can't promise anything else). They threatened to take my money and discontinue the service since I insisted they had to be able to do more than that. Very scummy. I ended up getting my money back after a few more fuck ups on their end and consider myself lucky.

I know several matchmakers who try to fake it until they make it. They try to match a bunch of older rich men to younger attractive women and call it a day. I saw a few that positioned themselves as elite also beg for information about the upcoming stimulus because they were desperately broke, so I highly doubt many of them are as successful as they claim to be.

LodestoneKeeper · 2021-04-19T02:08:13+00:00

I used a matchmaking service when I moved to a new city and, to be honest, it was not substantially different from OLD. The men in the matching making service tended to have better paying jobs than the basement dwellers on OLD but...it was the same odd assortment of socially challenged men. Men who didn’t brush their teeth (eww!). Men who talked about themselves an entire date, barely acknowledging my presence. Men who became grossly possessive after *one* date. Just a small sampling of some of my unpleasant experiences. Nevermind, that the matchmakers kept trying to pair me with men who had kids (despite my insistence that children, for my then 20-something self, were a dealbreaker). Yep, it was a sh*t show. I think your friend got lucky.

Equipoisonous · 2021-04-19T03:11:58+00:00

I paid for a matchmaking service a few years ago back when I was feeling desperate and sad about being single. I was pretty sure it would be a waste and I didn't really want to do it but my parents thought it was worth trying and were willing to pay for it. They ask you all these questions about what you're looking for so I hoped they were going to take that into consideration but it's clear they just try to set you up with whoever they have at the moment that vaguely maybe fits 1 of the things you asked for. I was 27 and said I would go up to 35 and I said that attractiveness and fitness were very important to me. The first guy they sent me was 36, balding, and nearly overweight. I told them that I wasn't interested and he was out of my age range. They were like "but only by 1 year!" No, you don't get it. 35 was a hard limit, not a suggestion- that was already me expanding beyond my ideal age range to what I would possibly consider. I'm not trying to date a guy nearly 10 years older than me.

So that already soured my taste of it. Their first chance to set me up and they already showed they didn't respect my preferences and weren't giving it much thought. They also only give you 1 photo and don't tell you much about them but use dumb buzzwords they think women want to hear like "family-oriented." Ugh. I had told them I wasn't sure about children.

After being sent a few more ugly men I told them I wanted my money back and they tried to assure me they would find someone for me. I just stopped responding. It was a complete waste of money.

eatnthrowtrashaway · 2021-04-19T17:50:08+00:00

I feel like you’re just as likely to find a good relationship on OLD as with matchmaking. That is the likelihood is slim but maybe you’ll get lucky. At least with tinder tho you haven’t wasted physical money just emotional energy. Anything that makes you spend money for the possibility of male attention is suspicious and stupid imo because as has been said dick is so low value. Never pay for it.

karaokekiller · 2021-04-19T02:04:05+00:00

The bit about helping them level up- if the matchmaker is taking on that life coach kind of role it definitely has some.good points

But over all, no I don't think it's a good idea

candyfox84 · 2021-04-19T16:13:53+00:00

I think it's just as random as OLD, but more expensive. I think the men in the service are generally a bit weird, though I'm sure there are exceptions. I would invest time and energy in having friends set me up instead, and pull from your own social circle. That avoids the drawback of anonymity, which is what allows men to behave badly without accountability. I am actively working to set up my single friends since I wish someone had done that for me and I think it's a tradition that should be brought back, by women for women, with the goal of being protective and pre-vetting.

January_Rain_93 · 2021-04-19T06:21:46+00:00

I dont see the point in seeking out a man. Either on OLD, matchmaking services, etc. Focus on yourself. You dont need a man.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-04-20T05:52:32+00:00

My acquaintance had paid a few grand for a matchmaking service someone recommended to her. They didn't contact her at all and didn't provide a single date in six months. They ignored her calls and messages. She finally asked for her money back and they blocked her everywhere. She was pretty much scammed.

Title	What Is FDS position on Matchmakers?
Author	FDS-GFY
Upvotes	94
Comments	43
Date	April 18, 2021 7:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mtjmte/what_is_fds_position_on_matchmakers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-is-fds-position-on-matchmakers.762688 https://theredarchive.com/post/762688

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