What progress and solidarity looks like.

cicerii · 2021-02-25T14:53:02+00:00

My ex used to always compare me to women in a positive light and say I'm not dramatic, materialistic, wear a lot of makeup, etc. But oh how the tables turned when he started comparing me to other girls he thought were better. That's when I realized if I guy says you're better than other girls it's a huge red flag.

BlazingHazard · 2021-02-25T15:59:21+00:00

It's a form of negging in my opinion, it's still putting you down with a fake compliment. Putting the pressure on you to not be like the lame other girls'

notstrongenoughyet0 · 2021-02-25T13:00:11+00:00

2022: *ghosts with no explanation*

Erinelda · 2021-02-25T12:55:32+00:00

I never took "compliments" like that. Not just because they put down other women but I feel like they are a subtle form of manipulation and control. Now that girl feels she can't be upset with him as to not be seen as "dramatic". I would have responded in 2010: "Ha, you ain't seen nothing yet" and now I'd just block. I'd rather we all just block them and roast them here so they don't get sneakier lol.

flowersfromtheheart · 2021-02-25T13:28:19+00:00

It's just sad how they try to pit women against one another with such sly comparisons. "I'm expecting you to be a Cool Girl unlike all those other women, so if you want to get picked, make sure you conduct yourself like a sex vending machine and don't have any emotions or expectations of me." Just no, dude.

Also it begs the question, if a guy constantly experiences "drama" with girls, then what exactly is he doing that they all end up being upset at him? It's not her, it's him.

I think it's rather fruitless to try to explain anything to such misguided little boys, though. They might choose their words more carefully next time (not a beneficial thing for us), but they won't truly understand.

Extra-Tadpole4909 · 2021-02-25T14:29:37+00:00

Whenever I encounter this I always tell them: "All women have good qualities, it's just not you who can truly see it."

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-02-25T16:44:21+00:00

Finally: realizing that we don't have to compete with other women over men like they are a precious resource when they are not.

solidarity between women

atouchofrazzledazzle · 2021-02-25T13:54:03+00:00

"You're not dramatic", which is code for, "I don't like women to have feelings or show emotions, and so far you haven't opened up around me and I'd like to keep it that way".

xiao_sabiha · 2021-02-25T14:31:29+00:00

I've been seeing more and more content like this, and I hope young girls are seeing it as well! Would love if they see right through all the attempts to get them to hate other girls.

CoffeeAndCorpses · 2021-02-25T19:27:36+00:00

I had an ex praise me for being "low maintenance".

I didn't realize in those days it was code for "I can take you for granted and still get sex."

blackwidowe · 2021-02-25T19:32:16+00:00

Me then and now, "oh, many women are dramatic around you? You must just be a dick."

Neoprude · 2021-02-25T19:49:46+00:00

The next time I hear this, I'll reply that whether or not I'm "like other girls" doesn't matter - he's clearly like other men.

metalbunnie · 2021-02-25T16:31:46+00:00

"You have the personality of a dude, I like that" - not convinced that men like women at all, really.

soundslikeautumn · 2021-02-25T19:11:14+00:00

These scrotes out here! Maybe women are "dramatic" because once a woman has put up with a lifetime of bullshit from guys she finally snaps. Most women aren't "crazy" by default. Men drive us to it and once they've succeeded they call us dramatic and crazy. That is exactly why if a man says all of his ex girlfriends were crazy I know HE is the problem and not THEM.

americansunflower · 2021-02-25T20:21:28+00:00

Have a convo w a guy and don’t say anything: wow you’re not like other girls lmao

Kimpractical · 2021-02-25T17:43:56+00:00

More like...

Me now: blocked

AliceHart7 · 2021-02-25T15:26:00+00:00

It's interesting because for 2010 even the post makes it clear that the girl isn't too sure at that time that that statement is a compliment.

evedeeve · 2021-02-25T17:38:07+00:00

That's how it started for me... I wish I had questioned it more... Despite knowing better, and having that bad instinct when a man told me "I don't like dating insert specific race. They are too high maintenance" I gave HIM the benefit of the doubt. Despite me saying I don't want to date irl (cuz we are in a pandemic) he kinda threw it on my face asking why I was on a dating website "to get a pen pal?" I felt icky then but still gave him the benefit of the doubt and laughed it off with him and met with him. I had panic attacks for two days straight because I felt so dirty after he kissed me and potentially put my mom in danger (she has an autoimmune disease and taking immunosuppressants) I'm so stupid I know. Cried so much. Then he kept asking why I didn't tell him. Idk. He also kept tryna push me into sex. I told him no several times and he kept trying. He kept asking why. I told him I was on my period, I already didn't want to even kiss him at that point, just kept up the charade cuz I'm an idiot. And he says "Sex is important to me because I don't wanna just have it with anyone." I didn't know what to say. I told him, in a very shy tone but firm enough, imo: "I don't want to sound yoy know bad but like, I am a girl, it's easier for me to get. So no. I don't want to." He stopped but kept calling me a tease. I felt bad and just didn't want to meet with him anymore anf I also didn't want to be the "bad guy" so ignored him until he broke it off. I feel like this sub helps me so much but not practicing things like I should be. I made a small achievement in standing my ground, but somedays I feel so defeated. I wish I was stronger already...

blue_crystal_ring · 2021-02-25T13:17:16+00:00

I am absolutely proud with how far we've come.

bite_sizedbitz · 2021-02-25T18:08:30+00:00

GROWTH!! Honestly, learning to set boundaries with everyone including complete strangers has been life changing for me.

smilodon91 · 2021-02-26T00:53:40+00:00

"gee, you're not a rapist misogynist murderer like all the other boys."

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-02-25T22:26:15+00:00

Why you gotta call me out like that, OP?

But truly, this post is exactly what I was thinking about myself the other day.

MerleErEnPerle · 2021-02-25T23:16:41+00:00

"All the other girls from your country are boring, but not you"

... Uhm, thank you i guess? Then why are you even here?

mirodus · 2021-03-15T13:19:42+00:00

Now : you’re not dramatic like other girls :) Me: (looks at him and does not respond)

2021-02-25T23:53:34+00:00

[deleted]

Title	What progress and solidarity looks like.
Author	azureangel35
Upvotes	3868
Comments	42
Date	February 25, 2021 12:26 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ls5gs1/what_progress_and_solidarity_looks_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-progress-and-solidarity-looks-like.745653 https://theredarchive.com/post/745653

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solidarity between women