My thoughts on teaching students about incels

TisIChenoir · 2022-04-16T06:06:05+00:00

Yup, that's pretty worrying.

Incels need empathy, understanding and compassion, not hate and more isolation.

You don't make a scared dog more calm by beating him with a stick. You won't make incels less hateful by shaming them. If anything, yes, that'll make every man unable to find a sexual partner feel even worse, and that can spiral really fast toward hate.

Also, mysoginy is not the cause of their lack of sexual connection. There are plenty of mysoginistic dudes that are really sexually successful. One of the most toxic woman-hater I know, who acted like an asshole toward every women he knew, had women all over himself.

a-man-from-earth · 2022-04-16T06:02:05+00:00

At least they say:

'Clearly this shows the dangers of failing to support and improve the mental wellbeing of boys within schools.

There is also a huge lack of discipline and teaching mutual respect in West-European schools. It's one of the reasons why I left.

I would say more male teachers are direly needed.

azazelcrowley · 2022-04-16T11:55:52+00:00

Gynocentrism in action. They can only view things from the female perspective and view men as a source of problems for women, not as human beings, even when viewing them as human beings would address the issues.

Critical-Lifeguard · 2022-04-16T10:01:42+00:00

Are sexually promiscuous women being taught to combat misandry?

Man_of_culture_112 · 2022-04-16T12:31:09+00:00

So progressive that you turn into a regressive pos. The left's (I suspect the people proposing this idea are liberal) blindspot for men is turning into major self owns. They contradict themselves so much when it comes to men and spend too much time attacking men with less power.

TheLWMA · 2022-04-16T05:08:10+00:00

Do you mind linking the article?

Fearless-File-3625 · 2022-04-16T12:34:09+00:00

The more they will blame and shame, the more misogynistic incels they will create.

Kindly-Town · 2022-04-16T06:28:55+00:00

They just want to persecute ugly guys.

boomboxspence · 2022-04-16T09:09:43+00:00

I think the main issue is incels mental health not so much that some of them make mean comments about people on the internet

SomeLo5er · 2022-04-17T16:50:34+00:00

To imply that men that don’t get laid or find love are misogynistic is just another tactic to avoid women having a moment of introspection and accountability. To imply that a man that cannot find a partner is a misogynist is damaging to those that are genuinely trying to connect with women. You are adding to his struggle, a serious accusation.

GodBirb · 2022-04-16T22:00:27+00:00

Being an incel is really damning in today’s society tbh. You can’t get a relationship, you become and incel, then you being an incel is a red flag, and you become more of an incel. And so the cycle continues.

GorchestopherH · 2022-04-19T20:24:22+00:00

It's interesting how "incel" a term meaning a guy who is unattractive to women, is also a term that apparently straight up also a person who propagates misogyny.

So, if a guy in unattractive to women, they're also the same people who are sexist, sexually harassing female teachers, etc...

This is completely besides the point that a self-proclaimed incel is a very different person online than they are in person.

BloomingBrains · 2022-04-17T08:30:36+00:00

They should teach not getting sex doesn't make you a better or worse person. A man's self worth isn't measured by how many sexual partners they had. Or that you should feel ashamed that you are alone or a virgin despite everyone around you isn't.

Not only that but it would also be fantastic if they taught "incel" the way this sub uses it: as the literal definition, without any connection to misogynistic subculture of self identified incel ideology. In other words, teach kids that guys can be incels for a variety of reasons. Yes, sometimes it may be that they hate women, have bad personalities, are creepy, etc. But not always.

Of course that will never happen. If they don't teach that incel = misogyny, kids will start to wonder why so many men are incel if they're not all bad people. And that is really not a conversation society is ready to have yet. In fact it might literally tear it apart.

Yet the only alternative I can see is a progression of this to the point that any shy males, nerdy males, non-conforming males, etc. are automatically branded as evil to the point of becoming social pariahs at younger and younger ages where it wouldn't even be appropriate for them not to be virgins yet. Hell, this is already starting to happen. I remember being called a virgin in high-school and thinking "Well duh, yeah, isn't everybody? We're all 15!" (How naïve I was...)

This may sound a bit extreme but stuff like this makes me wonder if there could literally be a societal purge based on this. History has shown us many times, after all, what happens when one group blames another for all their problems. But this will only hasten the decline we're already seeing into anti-intellectualism and gender essentialist roles. I wouldn't be surprised if, say 500-1000 years from now, humans will have returned to a tribal state. But I'm sure women won't be worse off there than in modern civilization...

Valoxity-_- · 2022-04-18T05:44:07+00:00

If more people thought like the people in this comment section mens wellbeing would be in a much better place, and I dont think thats an impossible thing to acomplish, but its hard to make people care enough.

Blauwpetje · 2022-04-16T17:28:19+00:00

I find this post a bit unsatisfactory. It is built on the assumption that men hate to be celibate because they are shamed for it. Ultimately that is a variation on ‘patriarchy hurts men too’: ‘patriarchy expects men to be sexually active’. Indeed we should be empathic towards involuntary celibates, but if we do so without taking their sexual desires seriously, they’d be better off left alone.

InitiatePenguin · 2022-04-16T06:09:53+00:00

There's a distinction between being "involuntarily celibate" and self identifying as an Incel. The only time the former definition was used in the literal sense was when the term was originally used.

There is absolutely no reason to identify with or as an Incel if you are not intending to mean you are a member of those groups.

They aren't on Reddit anymore, but I think if they were people wouldn't be so concerned with appropriately labeling them.

I don't expect those articles to make the distinction, and may very well actually be calling "guys who struggle with relationships" as mysogynists but "guys who struggle with relationships" I wouldn't call an Incel unless they partake in that blackpill ideology - which is mysogynistic.

Longjumping-Guard130 · 2022-04-16T22:00:01+00:00

You guys have a hard time admitting you’re just alt right incels huh 😂

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2022-04-17T22:53:14+00:00

There are three problems here and I don’t see how bundling them together will help anyone.

The first is that teachers are being bullied and threatened by students. This is criminal/work place hazard which has to be dealt with.

The second is pre feminist misogyny, which is still prevalent and common in some immigrant groups etc. parts of it has been rooted out but I think it still lives on in poorer/extremely wealthy enclaves of society.

Then there is the post feminist misogyny where we have incels and such. These guys were raised in by women in a feminist micro cosmos, where women are more successful and the authority figures, which they are revolting against.

I think mixing them together makes it difficult to deal with properly. It can also make it appear much bigger than what it actually is and even make it feel like a grand conspiracy.

MainstreamAcceptance · 2022-04-17T21:53:08+00:00

Frankly I do not see an issue with teaching about incels as long as it's done well

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