Why I'll never stop snooping through my husband's phone… and before you judge, here's why you should do the same

HiramCoburn · 2025-01-05T03:29:25+00:00

Articles like this, just Poison the well, by making women paranoid, controlling, and bat shit crazy.

Smacktardius · 2025-01-05T03:54:13+00:00

The worst part of shit like this is how normalized it's becoming. Reverse the genders and the feminists would lose their shit.

The War on Men continues...

dmann27 · 2025-01-05T02:40:44+00:00

The way these women write is infuriating. Not a single one of her decisions or actions is her own responsibility. Everything is provocation to her.

"If he had told me about every single one of his business relationships with females, I wouldn't have had to call him things I'm not proud of"

All of her actions and thoughts are HIS responsibility somehow.

MagnumBane · 2025-01-05T03:29:25+00:00

Yeah, no. I wouldn't allow a woman to control me anymore. I've been through 1 controlling and mentally abusive relationship. Never. Again.

ConsiderationSea1347 · 2025-01-05T02:16:23+00:00

Jesus. That reads like a gleeful codex in how to be psychologically abusive to a spouse.

bigskycaniac · 2025-01-05T03:43:44+00:00

Just the title screams BPD. Never again.

robinson217 · 2025-01-05T04:52:39+00:00

My wife and I have full access to each other's phones. She can look at what she wants. I just warned her, for her own good, not to look at my group chat with my old Marine buddies. She respected this boundary, but asked what was so bad. I told her to take it for a quick spin. She handed the phone back a minute later and said "You are bunch of 13 year olds in men's bodies" 😂.

Punder_man · 2025-01-05T07:28:48+00:00

So why is no one call this what is is?
Coercive control?

If a man did this to a woman he would be called "Controlling"
But when a woman does it? well its "her protecting herself"

Its absolutely disgusting!

Adventurous-Ruin3873 · 2025-01-05T06:15:14+00:00

It's simple. Whether you're male or female:

[1] If you feel a need to search through your partner's phone, you should not be in a relationship.

[2] If you feel a need to search through a particular partner's phone, you should not be in a relationship with that person.

Women will talk, talk, and talk about how their snooping is justified, how they've been wronged before, how they know a woman who ended her marriage because of what she found by snooping, or whatever else. Women will go on TikTok and watch that brainrot content from other women--women who have ironically never even had a successful relationship--about how you can and should snoop through your partner's phone.

It's just validating their shitty behavior. Those same brainrot TikTok creators will talk about so-called "high-value men," but if they can't even trust their partners to give them the most fundamental thing in a relationship, exclusivity, they either have shit taste in men or need to get over their personal issues before dating.

Pecking_Boi0330 · 2025-01-05T04:57:38+00:00

Relationships where one partner can access the other’s phone and the other partner cant do the same is pure bullshit

bigred9310 · 2025-01-05T05:36:34+00:00

I don’t give a fuck what statistics say. I’d serve this bitch with divorce papers in a hurry.

Coryxoling · 2025-01-05T03:38:48+00:00

This is actually embarrassing 😭

Rad_Knight · 2025-01-05T09:18:26+00:00

If she wants access, he should also have access

UbiquitousWobbegong · 2025-01-05T04:17:49+00:00

My wife and I both know each other's passwords. I trust her enough not to go searching through her phone, and I trust her not to search through mine.

I don't understand why people can't just trust each other and be trustworthy. If you value a fling more than your relationship, you might as well get divorced. Same case if you think you can't trust your partner.

Tallguystrongman · 2025-01-05T03:13:26+00:00

I hope he sees this and has a set of balls along with a healthy dose of self respect..

FastyNilthShreakyFit · 2025-01-05T06:06:28+00:00

wow talk about a set of double standards. she's definitley cheating, and projecting.

walterwallcarpet · 2025-01-05T08:46:24+00:00

"We can't go on together, with suspicious minds / And we can't build our dreams, on suspicious minds"

Elvis has left the building. Thank y' very much.

GoldenFutureForUs · 2025-01-05T12:41:47+00:00

I’m sure they’ll let the husband snoop through her phone? Right?

TheNattyJew · 2025-01-05T03:48:22+00:00

Any man who puts up with this level of disrespect kinda owns what's coming to him. I would never tolerate that kind of behavior.

Solitude-Dude · 2025-01-05T04:38:18+00:00

Good thing they made it a federal crime in some states to do this.

Decon_SaintJohn · 2025-01-05T02:46:20+00:00

My ex wife always made sure she had full security lock down on her phone. That's one of many of reasons why she's an ex.

IamAwesome-er · 2025-01-05T04:57:37+00:00

She can look though my phone, if she asks for it. Even then, if she does, my feelings towards her are going to change.

If she "snoops" and I find out (or shes dumb enough to tell me)...and were not married....its over.

swollemolle · 2025-01-06T01:24:23+00:00

Barely spending time together, having sex 1-2 times per month and she wonders why she has to go thru his phone…

ConferenceHungry7763 · 2025-01-05T07:04:17+00:00

Very early on in a relationship, you need to test her and say no and mean it. If she can’t handle it - next her.

MrNimbus_81 · 2025-01-05T12:35:13+00:00

All I’m going to say is that if your partner doesn’t trust you, why be in a relationship with them at all? I’ve told my GF that she can ask to look through my phone anytime she wants and I’ll give it over without hesitation, but she needs to understand that the first time she does, the relationship is done.

I have done this every relationship I’ve been in and one girl, who I wasn’t messing around on, took me up on the offer. I was single that day.

Clockw0rk · 2025-01-05T04:20:51+00:00

Nooot even going to bother to click it and skim, cause the premise is insultingly bad as simply a headline.

Look, I like the idea of romance before commitment, so while I don't think people should necessarily put marriage or some similar recognized legal pairing in the 'never ever, total garbage' bin of life... I definitely feel you're rushing into things and won't have a real idea if you opt into a life-long commitment and you haven't spent at least 3 years together, preferably with at least one of those years living under the same roof and likely the same bed. And 3 years might not be enough for some couples, to see if they could really endure in the long term.

I know that "victim blaming" is a popular buzzword in some cycles, but I really don't think it's the same thing to be aware of the legal and financial rammifications of rushing into marriage or parenthood without a solid plan and some pre-requisites. It has the very real capacity to ruin your life, and make you multiple enemies for life if things go super off the rails. My heart goes out to those who suffer injustice... but also, look before you leap, fam. They're literally life long commitments.

One of the more important things you need to hammer out in a relationship before you even move in, let alone get married to decide to have unprotected sex... is to have some sort of awareness of what kind of 'baggage' they're bringing into a relationship. Awful family members? Toxic friends? Skeletons in their closet?

If you're looking for a long term relationship, you need to be breaching those difficult questions like.. within the first six months, people. Don't fucking wait. Don't string people along. Be honest, because if you don't and they ever find out... They're gonna be pissed you lied at a point blank question meant to expose potential deal breakers, and it may be enough to end an otherwise healthy relationship even if it wasn't a deal breaker in the first place. Deception has no place in a health relationship. If you feel you have to keep some things secret from your partner, then you set that boundry honestly and early. It's fucking simple. Be a goddamn adult.

"I love you, but I want to keep this folder/app/social profile/account private from our relationship. I hope you understand."

That's all you have to do. It's not hard! If this is someone you're entering into a LIFE LONG CONTRACT with that can be VERY DIFFICULT TO WALK AWAY FROM WITHOUT SIGNIFICANT CONSEQUENCES. And if you aren't willing to navigate a few awkward conversations, how're you going to survive a life long contract? Come on. Get real.

Anyone who's unwilling to even admit they have something they want to keep private, and most everyone has something they prefer to never talk about for how it makes them feel, simply isn't long term relationship material. And if they especially demand to have a whole damn social network app or a large financial account to themselves? Just run. They're hedging their bets and preparing for failure already, which speaks a lot to thier trust issues and if they can be trusted to honor the whole "sickness and in weath" bit of traditional vows.

Love isn't a lost cause... but it is a lot more complicated than the media likes to portray. Only fools rush in.

Morden013 · 2025-01-05T10:01:44+00:00

No way. My phone is my personal thing and I am not sharing it with my wife, kids or anybody else.

Salamadierha · 2025-01-05T10:13:28+00:00

For the paywall https://archive.is/PT8dE

AdministrativeAide47 · 2025-01-05T15:00:24+00:00

It’s a penal offense in most parts of the world.

thedisliked23 · 2025-01-05T20:07:28+00:00

I have yet to meet a woman, including my most recent ex, who talks at length about "feminist issues", "old boys club", glass ceilings, being a woman in a man's field, women having it worse than men "in every way", or any other current popular talking points, that wasn't a full on narcissist in their personal lives. Relationship-wise, they take no responsibility for their behavior in any way, gaslight their partners for having wants and needs in the relationship, and when things inevitably fail (like every relationship my most recent had been in, including her ten years marriage which she admitted followed the exact same path ours was going down, and which she fought at every turn my attempts to call to attention the same mistakes that were being repeated) they are applauded by their friend group for "being strong" and "making good choices for themselves", and ultimately come to the conclusion that it "just wasn't right this time" and they "don't need a man in their lives". And that's the thing. There's no real impetus for change or self-reflection because all they receive when they make mistakes and fail is positive reinforcement and support to keep making those mistakes and all they've lost is a good partner that they ultimately didn't respect and that everyone tells them they didn't need in the first place.

They go to therapy and are told they need to do things for themselves and they will be happy and for many of them, they are, because they fully believe they are owed something that exactly fits their idea of what a male human should be. Needless, without expectations, and available to their lives on their schedule and how they want them to be.

My current partner rarely if ever talks about those things and when we do it's a very equal conversation about how the world affects both women and men and the struggles we have based on gender. It's a conversation not a lecture. And it's nice.

The thing is, I don't wish her or any of them any ill. They could be really great people and are in some ways. I have an ex from my younger days who I'm still very good friends with who is now in her 40s, freezing her eggs and generally unhappy and lonely because she followed that path. She's an awesome person and extremely accomplished in her field, owning her own house, teaching at a major university, writing academic research, and she's miserable. My most recent as well. In her 40s, amazing at her job, tons of friends and everyone loves her (as did I) and on the surface great in every way. Everyone wonders why she can't "keep a man" and her close friends were very supportive of our relationship and even brought up how she treated the relationship in the context of "you're gonna lose a good partner" based on her actions. And in private moments, I got to see how broken and miserable she was. And how she wouldn't accept ANY help or feedback. And she will go on smiling and outwardly happy while completely hollow inside because her entire world is going to tell her it isn't her, she did nothing wrong, and she's better off without men. At the end of the day, I'm just sad for her.

Whoops that turned into a rant, sorry.

jobiegermano · 2025-01-06T03:19:27+00:00

One of the things I do that I’m least proud of in my life is to peruse this sub to remind myself how bad men’s mental health can get with the blaming of women, lack of empathy, general incel behavior, and adult men living their lives lacking ANY desire to increase their emotional intelligence. For possibly the first time ever (and likely only time ever) I guess I’m going to agree with the sentiment of those in this subreddit. She’s wrong in every way. Her editor should be fired. The entire publication should fold. This is akin to publishing an article called “how I domestically abuse my partner and why you should too!” 🤦🏻‍♂️

Nathaniel66 · 2025-01-05T11:02:05+00:00

Why not openly use SO's phone if there's a need?

TabulaRasa5678 · 2025-01-05T17:54:44+00:00

... and women wonder why men don't want to marry them, nor have children with them any more.

Sir_Yacob · 2025-01-05T18:28:25+00:00

The normalization of snooping is fucking disgusting.

BrilliantWriting3725 · 2025-01-05T18:47:54+00:00

Imagine a relationship with no boundaries. This is what these batshit insane femcel women want.

leo_ukk · 2025-01-05T20:20:08+00:00

Let them stay single until they become a booty call for someone who treats them like shit

Gr8danedog · 2025-01-06T02:26:01+00:00

That neurotic bitch

SymphonicAnarchy · 2025-01-06T07:44:40+00:00

“However, my strategy clearly worked, because within a year he had proposed and we married six months later.”

This is the problem. She went through his phone, blocked any numbers that were female and not family members…then HE PROPOSED??

Guys. We can do better.

Edit: Especially with confessions like this.

“I’d be very cross if Ben had the audacity to snoop on me. I’m the one holding family life together; he has no reason to assume I’m anything but the innocent party.”

TubularBrainRevolt · 2025-01-07T11:00:39+00:00

What the fuck are we reading. This is a guide to abusive behavior. where is the trust that feminists are constantly shouting about? If you reverse the genders, the world would be up on arms, even if the article were satirical.

Tumor_with_eyes · 2025-01-07T13:26:16+00:00

If a woman has to go through your phone on a regular basis to feel “safe?”

Leave. Or else you’ll be stuck with someone so insecure, she will always blame you for things you haven’t done, your entire life.

Just leave.

Educational_Fuel9189 · 2025-01-05T03:38:34+00:00

Stick to Japanese and Ukrainian women. Stay away from western chicks

tommygun1688 · 2025-01-05T03:26:31+00:00

It's all good guys! If she's insistent on snooping just assume your wife is fucking around, don't even bother snooping. Then just bang whomever you feel like guilt free.

thetruthfornow · 2025-01-05T04:24:30+00:00

I guess I am the unconventional and odd one out, for the most part. But I do not believe in this concept of privacy between married spouses when it comes to the phone. But, that's each of y'all's own call.

oneknocka · 2025-01-05T15:17:30+00:00

Isn’t this illegal? Or has that changed?

whiteguycash · 2025-01-05T03:22:02+00:00

Presumption of spousal privacy is a toxic idea. Private social media, email, snapchat and whatsapp is unhealthy to a marriage. Complete openness encourages honesty and discourages sneaking around.

Title	Why I'll never stop snooping through my husband's phone… and before you judge, here's why you should do the same
Author	DougDante
Upvotes	549
Comments	119
Date	January 5, 2025 2:09 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1htuyf9/why_ill_never_stop_snooping_through_my_husbands/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-ill-never-stop-snooping-through-my-husbands.1540380 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540380

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