Approaching guidelines

Pola_Lita · 2022-03-18T07:16:15+00:00

What are some of your off limit/ok places to be approached?

Okay places: beach, fairs, exhibitions, etc. Anyplace meant for relaxation where I'm obviously not occupied with some other thing. Clubs.

Off limit: I'm ALONE and there are few other people around. Shopping. Never bother me when I'm shopping. Ever. Or when I'm eating. Never when I'm exercising.

Have you ever actually been interested in/went on a date with a guy or gal who cold approached you?

My husband approached me at a beach.

Do/have you ever “bended” your approaching guidelines wether the man was attractive or not? I.e. normally you hate that men approach you while working out, but this guy was attractive so you let it slide

I have IF the man was older, very attractive and also gave the impression of being "safe".

What do you wish men knew about cold approaching women

I wish they didn't have that belief that a lack of interest means they should keep trying. I think way too many men think it's true.

NakedStreets · 2022-03-18T07:09:15+00:00

The only place I’m ever interested in being approached by a stranger for social reasons is a social event, meaning something like a party.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-03-18T11:03:43+00:00

It’s never ok to approach someone romantically when their working and your not, like a customer service role in particular, they HAVE to be friendly as part of their job. In a pub/bar would be ok approaching someone, their usually there with friends and is generally a social relaxed atmosphere.

2.yes, in a bar but it didn’t go past date 2 as our lives weren’t compatible

3, attractiveness wouldn’t help, I’m there fir a reason and I really don’t want to be interrupted, and if I’m working then it really wouldn’t help cause he’ll just come across as arrogant. However I might be “blended” if he was really funny.

I wish men realised that cold approaching looks like it works in films but in real life unless the guy is really funny, really obviously naive and humble it rarely works. A cold approach instantly makes women on edge, men need to remember to women a strange man is statistically more likely to try n hurt her and there’s nothing different about you and the other 10 weirdos she’s already had in today.

gofigure62 · 2022-03-18T16:20:53+00:00

I don't like to be approached when I'm going about my life doing necessary tasks. Such as the grocery store, gas station, public transportation, walking, at work, or just leisurely laying around the park/beach.
I have gone on 1 date with a guy who cold approached me. I've never had a decent or stable man approach me in public. They've all been hyper aggressive, wouldn't take no for an answer and made me fearful. Every man that I've gone on dates with IRL was initiated by me in some regard, either through introducing myself or giving them a social que that it was "okay" for them to imitate a conversation with me.
No.
I wish men would take into account that THERE ARE UNSTABLE men out there who have made our lives hell that no one intervenes and stops. I've been pushed, had my physical possessions taken, had my path blocked (essential held hostage), groped, and even punched by men "approaching" me. Men approaching me has been a consistently NEGATIVE experience for me. Compounded by the fact that NO ONE around me gave a shit or tried to help me. If it wasn't for me carrying tools of protection or calling the police, I would have probably been maimed or even killed by now. If I had more POSTIVE experiences with men approaching me, I wouldn't automatically jump to the worst case scenario of what a man being in my personal space would result in.

Now, that isn't to say that I believe men should make themselves invisible for the comfort of women. But they SHOULD be mindful of how they come off and be able to read social situations accurately. If you can't tell if a woman is uncomfortable or fearful, then you shouldn't approach any woman under any circumstances. Having social skills is necessary, and being about to read body language and non-verbal ques is a requirement when interacting with strangers.

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-03-18T07:29:24+00:00

My off limits places to be approached is in a parking lot and I’m exiting or entering my vehicle, if I’m going in or out of the woman’s restroom, or I’m filling up the gas in my car. My ok places to be approached are places that are social functions, coffee or tea shop, book store, maybe the grocery store.

I have never went on a date with a guy that approached me, most were not to my liking or I didn’t like their approach. There have been a couple of times that I considered it but decided not too, one guy I flat out rejected because he was way too hot. I knew something was up.

I’ve never blended my approaching guidelines for any guy, even the hot ones. In fact there have been times I felt creeped out by attractive guys.

I think it’s fine for men to approach women but please don’t be vulgar and be mindful of the setting. Being hit on at night at a gas station is not flattering and down right frightening.

2022-03-18T10:17:28+00:00

The wedding ring on my goddamn finger means stop fucking talking to me, as does the usually burbling 3 month old. No I’m not interested in you, no I’m not new to the country, no I don’t want your fucking number.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-18T09:46:45+00:00

just not the gym. it always feels like people stare at me there and i feel uncomfortable already.

haven’t been interested in any, but had nothing to do with them approaching me. usually people who approach me are like older than me which isn’t my thing.

LucyintheskyM · 2022-03-18T07:27:31+00:00

I feel like if I don't want to be approached, I'll put out very obvious signals. Arms over my body, no eye contact. I'm happy to be approached any other time, for any friendly reason. Want to know the time, or need a lighter? Super cool, love to make friends. Want to hit on me without preamble? Maybe chill a bit and get to know me first.

OfCatandPagan · 2022-03-18T11:11:49+00:00

Don't approach me if I'm completely isolated, that's just a given. Also, if I'm clearly trying to avoid interacting with people that should tell you something.

lazy1121 · 2022-03-18T12:17:19+00:00

Approaching is only acceptable is social settings like a bar or party. I’ve never been keen on a man who has approached in any other setting, no matter how attractive, as he has already shown a lack of social skill and I view him as an annoyance immediately

BlockedAgainIGuess · 2022-03-19T18:20:13+00:00

Don’t approach me when I would have reason to be afraid of you (eg I’m alone at night with no one else around) or when I’m clearly busy with something else.
Yes
No
Cold approaching is not historically how relationships have ever started normally. The reason some guys think there’s no way to meet women because we are “suddenly” against cold approaching is because we do not socialize with people the way we used to. People used to be in large social groups with many opportunities to meet women in warm approaches, or even getting set up by mutual friends. Nowadays we don’t. The only time we see people who aren’t off limits (eg family) is when we are out running errands and shit. And no one is trying to date while they’re at Target. Ok maybe some people. But mostly no. You’d be better off joining a church if you want to get laid, no cap.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-03-18T17:55:40+00:00

if you ask women, by the time the end of the list is over you will end up with literally every place as being "off limits" lol.

The actual fact is it depends on ur looks. If you are ugly, it's less and less acceptable to approach pretty much anywhere. And the more attractive you are, it allows you to approach in more and more areas and settings.

Just the facts, dont hate.

2022-03-18T16:19:46+00:00

Kinda biased since I met my BF on what could basically be called a soft cold approach.

At first it just felt like a normal conversation about a mutual interest, not a guy trying to hit on me necessarily. I noticed "oh...I'm getting kinda worked up" before I noticed that he was interested in me that way.

wtknight · 2022-03-18T10:49:25+00:00

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wtknight · 2022-03-18T10:06:51+00:00

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RandomAttackHelpMe · 2022-03-18T13:16:54+00:00

If someone is upset by a comment about a dog,they’re a fucking idiot.Seriously,this shit over being upset over every comment needs to stop asap.This seems to be mostly an American thing.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-03-18T18:00:57+00:00

Bar, club, party, and social events.
Yes. Halloween party guy was in an Ash Army of Darkness costume. He really impressed me because he put together everything including the chainsaw hand.
No.
Be polite. Be respectful. Take a no and leave. Don't try to litigate the no. Don't bother me when I'm wearing headphones. Don't approach women in what are considered potential danger situations see: parking lots. Male sure a woman isn't trapped with you when you do it.

Classic_Head3437 · 2022-03-18T15:17:04+00:00

Women are automatically on the defensive in 2022. It shouldn't be surprising to anyone that women don't appreciate being targeted by losers looking to dump their weak watery load into them. Women aren't stupid. They know exactly what you're doing. And white women are the worst people on the planet in terms of victimhood. Their oppression is worse than everyone else's in their eyes.

-ShesACarnival- · 2022-03-18T15:05:32+00:00

i have slept with lots of men, and only one time did i hook up with a man who approached me outside of my designated hookup zones (bars, concerts, clubs) on nights i went out specifically in hopes of hooking up or meeting a man. i was always flattered and pleased at being approached, but if you approached me at the drugstore i was not in a hookup state mind and merely used it as an attention whoring opportunity

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pearllovespink · 2022-03-18T21:04:36+00:00

Nothing is off limits. However, I’m more cautious when work with someone.
I prefer to meet men in public and have gone out with them. Meeting someone organically beats dating app messages any day of the week.
I’m a friendly person and nothing is off limits.
I wish men knew that simple things get a woman’s attention. Give small compliments and see how she reacts before you make your next move. Women love getting compliments. It’s easier than you think to strike up a small conversation.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2022-03-18T23:51:09+00:00

This is the only appropriate way to cold approach a woman.

Title	Approaching guidelines
Author	mextreme10
Upvotes	12
Comments	106
Date	March 18, 2022 6:54 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tgvd2b/approaching_guidelines/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/approaching-guidelines.1107008 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107008

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