Changing Standards

WhiskeyOnASunday93 · 2022-07-14T18:04:59+00:00

When I was younger I was all about slender and leggy girls. Like track team bodies.

Somewhere down the line I took the thicc pill.

rosesonthefloor · 2022-07-14T18:16:16+00:00

My preferences have changed in some ways and stayed the same in others.

I’ve always been into tall, blue-eyed semi-athletic guys. I am a short, green-eyed athletic girl. That didn’t change. I also place a premium on sexual compatibility and refuse to compromise on that either.

But I was also raised in a middle-class, white collar household. I always thought I would meet like a tech guy, or a finance guy, or something like that. And I did date those guys. I would occasionally go on dates with blue collar guys, but nothing ever really stuck.

Then I met my boyfriend, who is a plumber, and I’ve never been happier.

I was also very uncertain of the future when I was younger - I was hesitant about life-long commitment (although that could have also been the guys I was with lol) and unsure if I wanted kids. So when guys would bring it up I would balk.

But before I met my bf, I made sure that for every guy I talked to, marriage and kids was on the table. And with him, I’ve never been more certain of anything lol.

The other piece to that is I used to have a huge thing for older men. Like my ex was 21 years older, kinda thing. But the reason we broke up was because he couldn’t have anymore kids, and didn’t want to, and I knew I needed that. So after that, much older men just weren’t an option anymore. I didn’t see them in the same way.

So idk. Maybe it’s just growing up. But I do think your preferences naturally change with age!

4theMare_ · 2022-07-14T17:30:06+00:00

Personally I know women who have changed their standards about height/race/net worth over time.

Weird that it’s acceptable for men to admit changing standards. Women aren’t allowed to say this here because they get shouted down by men who claim that women “settle” for a good provider instead of a man they find physically appealing.

mcove97 · 2022-07-14T19:08:46+00:00

I've always been into average guys with darker features, such as brown skin or black hair and brown eyes. This has interestingly lead to me having more relationships with guys from foreign backgrounds or foreign countries, or people of different ethnicities. The majority of men in my Nordic country have lighter features such as blonde hair and blue/green eyes and pale skin, which I'm not particularly attracted to. Only exception I find is hot ginger guys with curly hair lol, but yeah I always find myself being attracted to guys who look different from the majority of my demographic, oddly enough.

Early_Ad_7425 · 2022-07-14T17:45:29+00:00

I really want to change my standard to average looking out of shape men who have great personalities.

purplish_possum · 2022-07-14T23:21:42+00:00

I used to like boobs. Now it's all about booties.

sarkington · 2022-07-14T17:57:21+00:00

All you have to do is be preferable to solitude

Smitten_Squire · 2022-07-14T19:13:57+00:00

My previous standards used to require the girl to have blonde hair blue eyes, but now ive opened up to all european women of any hair or eye color and also latina women because they have good culture that i like and also are pretty imo.

I grew up in america.

Not into any others tho.

TomBerwick1984 · 2022-07-14T19:33:29+00:00

I used to have a White standard of beauty growing up, due to the movies, TVs, magazines, and porn all (understandably because they are majority of the nation) prioritizing white women.

After years of planning on moving abroad I had been exposed to women of various races, and now my 'standard' of beauty has radically changed.

KayRay1994 · 2022-07-14T20:14:43+00:00

I used to be far more ridged in terms of looks and personality - now tbh long as you aren’t fat (which i think is a fair ask given that i take care of myself), are slightly above average looks wise, if we vibe socially, emotionally resonate and help each other grow - i’m all good

Though funny thing is, a girl who may not be the most attractive at first can become a 10 in my eyes if we vibe really well and emotionally connect

801735 · 2022-07-14T21:25:28+00:00

I think everyone's standards probably evolve over time as we gain more experience and perspective about the world and ourselves.

"Patience, understanding, love, most of all you need love." And don't forget the part where you love yourself, too, but make sure it's done in a healthy way.

Personally I know women who have changed their standards about height/race/net worth over time.

"When everything is known, all can be forgiven."

And, yup, with age comes the realization of own limits and diminishing worth/relevance, so the way one goes about the day changes (including, but not limited to delusional ~~expectations~~ demands).

It's just sad, though, that by then most people are well asleep and set in their ways, incapable of mustering together the will required to adjust to the realizations that come with age. And so you get the astronomical number of bitter post-wall screeching chicks in denial BSing about how there aren't any (easily available, abusable and disposable) good men.

Ah, well. Has anyone reminded you today that life is good already?

bottomLobster · 2022-07-14T22:15:35+00:00

This is an interesting topic, when I look 20 years back, my standards have changed almost to the opposite: From 95% big tits and 5% everything else to currently probably 60% be helpful in the relationship and 40% have some ass.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-07-14T17:34:34+00:00

i don’t think my baseline standards have changed at all, but my preferences definitely move around a bit. 18 year old me did not date rednecks and now that’s my preferred type lmaooo

2022-07-14T20:34:17+00:00

I don't date Latinas. I'm Latino. Before I didn't care.

I will consider highly educated women only for long term relationships. Same with fit women. Before I didn't care.

I prefer women 5-10 years younger than me. Before I didn't care.

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SmakeTalk · 2022-07-14T19:38:32+00:00

While not everyone's wants or needs in a relationship or in a partner will change I think most of ours do, even if it's slow and relatively invisible. I think for a lot of great relationships though, or people who are available for one, they're very aware of how this happens and communicate it well.

I don't know any lasting relationships where they don't communicate their changing needs or wants from each other. Sometimes these things change a lot which can be chaotic (but still very full of love and excitement) or they change incredibly slow, to the point where it's not very visible, but regardless those great couples will talk open and honestly when things do change.

If someone's wants or needs don't change though that's totally healthy as well, maybe they've just figured out what works for them in a partner early on and want that consistency.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-07-14T18:28:10+00:00

Physically my standards haven't changed as much for what I like for women despite society not loving when men have high standards for the women they want to be with lol

My standards have probably more changed in terms of personality, and emotion and all that jazz

Vtridolla · 2022-07-14T17:22:29+00:00

I used to not like European centric women, now I can kick it with them, I’m not sure I could ever like marry one or anything.

Catherine772023 · 2022-07-14T18:50:22+00:00

What we see and energy and age and maturity and hormones and emotions etc change in our bodies as well as experiences. Can explain what you’re attracted to changing.

4theMare_ · 2022-07-14T17:14:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-07-14T17:31:54+00:00

I’m not single so this is more theoretical. But I’ve had no significant change in race or height preference, I’ve always been open to a range. For wealth/income, I expect him to be able to support himself, which I didn’t expect when I was still a student. In terms of age, my preferred range is based on my own age

urbangoth · 2022-07-14T23:04:30+00:00

My standards, believe it or not, have always been the same. Same type of physical features (brunets with brown eyes are my favorite, but I do like some gingers with brown eyes) mixed race, slim/lean, anywhere from 5'4"-6'. Smart, respectful, caring, and able to communicate clearly. Switch/bottom-leaning. My partner once said "I can't believe we found each other" because he didn't know what he was looking for. Meanwhile I had know. what I wanted since I was about 12. I'm double that age now and my standards haven't budged. Maybe they will, but I doubt it because I've had success with my criteria.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-07-15T15:39:26+00:00

My preference did not change in the last decade, ironically.

I still exclusively find athletic tall men attractive.
I still dislike beards
I am attracted to Caucasian or East Asian men (korean or japansese). I don’t care if I am called racist, I find attractive what I find attractive
I was and still am into programmers, teachers, engineers etc. Never been into musicians or bartenders, they tend to be too tattoo’ed or too much involved with alcohol/drugs for my taste. Never been into plumbers or mechanics, their clothes get too dirty for my taste.
I dislike doctors or lawyers, they are out of my league. Always been conscious of men out of my league and avoided them, I knew they could get better

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-07-16T09:34:22+00:00

Lol, Where do I begin, I grew up in the hood and had crushes on the pretty hood chicks( 😅 who never liked me back BTW). In junior high, I moved to a majority Hispanic area and dated Mexican girls throughout high school. Went to SMU and dated country white girls, after graduation I enrolled in law school and got engaged to a Carribean woman. Broke off the engagement, eventually moved to Germany for work and have been dating South Slavic women exclusively for the last three years.

So I guess woukd say location played the biggest part in my dating history except for my current preference. This has more to do with my with my beliefs and life goals finally matching with the women I'm most attracted to.

RearwindowPinecone · 2022-07-14T18:14:09+00:00

NO,if woman lower her standards and settle for a man,he gonna complain about cheated on or "divorce raped" or paternity test later

Title	Changing Standards
Author	4theMare_
Upvotes	19
Comments	112
Date	July 14, 2022 5:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vz0zl5/changing_standards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/changing-standards.1123427 https://theredarchive.com/post/1123427

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