Discussion: Going up or down? Relationships and COVID-19

brokegradstudent_93 · 2020-03-30T17:29:14+00:00

We are doing really well! We share a gardening hobby and have spent most of the lock down gardening. I’ve also been cooking more and he’s loving it. It’s going great so far.

wtknight · 2020-03-30T17:05:09+00:00

It's about the same. My wife and I spend a lot of time around each other anyway, so some additional time with each other doesn't seem to have too negative of an effect.

yasee · 2020-03-30T17:31:42+00:00

we are both under a lot of pressure and have had our rough moments, but up. there's no one I'd rather be indefinitely stuck indoors with

Meydra · 2020-03-30T17:09:07+00:00

She's going insane from having nothing to do. So I still have home office in a rather stressful job with disrespectful lower and upper management when I get off, she's already crying or saying very negative, defeatist things, blocks any attempts to cheer her up, blocks any attempts of doing something together or suggestions on what she could do. And while she's miserable and crying I can't enjoy anything either.

The whole thing is also messing her sleep schedule up and gives her insomnia, which means I don't get enough sleep either.

It's exhausting and there's no end in sight. I found her a spot in therapy recently, but it will take a long time to actually help.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-03-30T18:25:06+00:00

For us it’s been better. More sex, less bickering. But the pandemic coincided with his cancer diagnosis so we’re both on our best behavior.

NarniaFox · 2020-03-30T17:29:51+00:00

We both work from home, so nothing has changed. I wouldn't get married to a guy, who I couldn't tolerate to be with in one apartment 24/7.

I do think there will be more divorces. Spending time together makes people see their relationship problems, that they can't ignore any further and not all of them can be solved. Stress also doesn't affect well people's well-being, so I guess if a couple has already had some tension built up, it will be even harder for them to deal with it now.

death_by_1000_cats · 2020-03-30T17:34:22+00:00

It really hasn't changed much for us. I'm working from home so I'm holed up in my makeshift home office all day and he leaves me alone, so it's really no different from going to work. We spend most evenings/weekends together already so not much has changed.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-03-30T20:41:16+00:00

My girl and were semi long distance now forced to be long distance.

We miss each other like hell and we have no clue when will we be able reunite. But she's finishing her PhD and my company is going through a good period so we both feel hopeful about the future.

Mulkvistee · 2020-03-30T23:13:39+00:00

It's mostly up, we're pretty entertained by each other so that part has been great actually. Made up songs, stupid gag Amazon purchases and the like. His toes are a lovely duo chrome shade of blue currently because boredom. We also planted a whole bunch of flowerbeds and strung up the trees in the backyard with tiny fairy lights.

I almost broke the week he had 4 friends over every day to work from home and use our home gym. I felt like I was staff at a frat house at times because they are loud, eat everything, and seriously left towels everywhere. But our kids adore them and I have an instant pot and no job to go to currently so whatever. Thankfully that was temporary, their more permanent situations are set up at their houses now and they only come over to workout or hang out with my husband for a few hours at a time. They started bringing Topo Chico and chocolate so I think he said something to them about noticing my crazy levels spiking lol.

Kids are pretty easy to entertain at 5 and 7 but they're getting more sporadically grouchy than either of us are. My son had a little too much fun smashing the geodes in the kit he got with a hammer after being told again everything is closed and no, he can't walk our 90lb dog alone. Daughters piano playing goes into random key smashing. If they aren't kept busy and distracted they're definitely climbing the walls so a lot of our time is spent there.

Boredom has definitely increased our sex life so far by a lot. But it's also great to have nowhere to be. This morning I was annoyed with 5000 emails about work and school stuff and he just plopped me on the kitchen counter and hugged me for an absurdly long time which was nice. He handled all the contradictory school email info too so I could deal with work stuff. Maybe we'll snap in the coming weeks but so far so good.

2020-03-30T17:52:56+00:00

We're having a fabulous time, playing a bunch of co-op games, getting a bunch of stuff done around the house. We just had a Zoom thing with his parents and his sister and her husband last night, his family is hilarious and I love them.

superlurkage · 2020-03-30T17:19:13+00:00

We’re good, it’s actually awesome to have time to hang out together. More family time than we’ve had in a long while.

I’m sure lots of breakups and divorces will be happening. Also, more DV. Just look at the relationship subs

2020-03-30T20:49:07+00:00

i hate it. i don't want to be around anyone this much. i don't actually spend that much time at home in normal circumstances so i am bored, angry, irritable, on top of being sick. i want my own space back lol. that said he is very sweet and understanding and gets that this is miserable for me

Reisiluu · 2020-03-30T23:44:44+00:00

We've been spending more time cooking, going on walks, playing cards and gaming. Also got tipsy on his birthday. At some point we're doing a group call with his family. Having alone time together is something we learned a long time ago.

reluctantly_red · 2020-03-31T00:19:51+00:00

So far so good. I actually enjoyed not having to go anywhere this weekend. And as an "essential" employee I'm still going to work. My GF is working from home three days a week and going in one day. She's been very busy with all the paperwork the bailout programs are creating.

smasher187 · 2020-03-31T12:59:25+00:00

I've been shut in with my girl and we are doing GREAT.

Cooking all kinds of meals (rather than going out, lol). Lots of luvin'. Just doing different things around the house we enjoy.

sadomasochrist · 2020-03-30T18:41:44+00:00

This is basically RP's "don't move in together" on hardmode. Rather than having distance to foster attraction this is going to burn out a lot of couples.

Unless a couple has already gone through the MRP stuff and resolved itself I do see this causing a lot of problems.

Dan240z · 2020-03-30T17:10:27+00:00

Well divorce is going up. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2020/03/25/coronavirus-lawyers-expect-a-rise-in-divorces-after-self-isolation.html&ved=2ahUKEwjE4PuQ2MLoAhVFgK0KHe2fAL4QFjALegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw09XvqPj-7VklzIxsbXmyPf&ampcf=1

2020-03-30T21:16:53+00:00

Relationships of all kinds are interesting; one peculiarity that I have observed is this: Money and stress amplify relationships. So:

if the relationships has issues, money or stress amplify those issues.
if the relationships is based on shaky grounds, money or stress amplify those shaky grounds
if the relationships is sound and solid, money or stress would amplify the firmness and the bond between the people

Keep in mind that I said "relationships of all kinds" so this is true for marriages, relationships, FB, FWB but also, the so-called "friendships", co-workers and people who are in business with other people.

In a way it's the application of Sun Tzu's teaching in The art of war: Divide and Conquer. Some "teams" are already divided, at times unbeknown to them; therefore they can't conquer anything. True teams can conquer things and overcome adversities.

Back to OP's question, it's no surprise to anyone that the vast majority of relationships of any kinds are superficials and troubled; therefore will succumb to this challenging test.

Professionally I am involved in 2 companies, 1 is a consulting gig, where I am exposed to a handful of companies/businesses; and the other one is my own small business. Well in the companies that I am involved they are coming undone: infights about hoarding money and resources, actions that borderline embezzlement, theft and fraud at all levels.

AutoModerator · 2020-03-30T16:58:07+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

LeJacquelope · 2020-03-31T04:46:35+00:00

We're cruising on level ground, nothing tearing us apart yet. If we'd been where we were 15 years ago we would have probably been divorced this far into the shelter-at-home thing. Kids have been home schooled so their loss of social contact with others is hitting hard but not as hard as public school kids. We've been prepping with a whole community working together for years. The reliability of your community is the one thing no disaster prepper video or guru on Earth ever mentions. Without that your bunker, high walls, gold, cash, guns, ammo, MREs, even your trees, garden and farm are utterly worthless. And we got that, thank God.

We've been in the mindset that civilization was going to go to hell, we've been preparing for this collapse and the end of all those amenities and luxuries. One of our neighbors just cleaned up an old washing machine drum that we can hand crank without power to launder clothes. There was some old talk about using others as spin-dryers and I'm not sure how that's gonna work but we have two of those in case a working idea develops.

I'm making use of electricity and the Internet for as long as we continue to have it. But most of my day now is out in the garden and learning about the inner parts of the diesel generator one neighbor has and is testing for use with biodiesel. Constant arguments over nothing? Nah, we're scared as fuck about the loss of all the proverbial rocks for the Scotch, but we knew it was coming. This is going to cement us... I hope.

Unfortunately we didn't prepare for the mass run on toilet paper...

MrHerbSherman · 2020-03-31T05:38:43+00:00

Well, I’m glad I settled into a relationship when this all went down that’s for sure lol

She can kinda be a pill sometimes but we have our own houses so if she’s being a bitch I can just go home

misiepatysie · 2020-03-31T07:57:25+00:00

We stiil work but from home. We never really argued and we do still not argue. We are both introverts so whenever one of needs alone time we just both revert to playing single player games, reading, painting or whatever else we enjoy. It is as great as ever only I am a bit nore anxious about the whole pandemic situation. All in all we are as happy as ever relationship wise.

zino193 · 2020-03-31T08:23:12+00:00

It just intensifies your relationship. Sorry to hear you are having problems - it's really a bad time to dig deep into your differences.

For me, it's amazing. Not having to run anywhere made my relationships more intimate, more comfortable... and being aware of the end of humanity makes sex amazing.

GennyX · 2020-03-31T16:34:51+00:00

It’s the same. We’re always at home together. I do get frustrated that I can’t exercise outdoors as much as usual, and not having a school routine for the kids means it’s cramped 24/7, but we’re all getting along.

infps · 2020-04-01T20:01:42+00:00

We live on a pretty big farm here in the States. We considered going back to Taiwan since I'm a legal permanent resident and she's got a passport from there, but my parents would have no one to take care of them at the end of the world.

We're helping each other. There's some stress. But really, most days, most of the time, I could almost forget the world is ending. It's all basically fine.

After getting groceries and trying to deal with the 16 steps of decontamination before moving from the garage into the house, it's sometimes tense and sometimes we snap a little.

Otherwise? Happy as always.

AdolfGandi · 2020-04-01T21:11:01+00:00

Never had a relationship. Probably never will. I'm among the horde of forgotten young men that women and society don't care about.

joesmithasdf · 2020-04-02T14:03:47+00:00

I’m not in a relationship of any sort so it’s been bad. I could rely on casual sex but now women won’t have it, except those I’ve already met. I hope the shock from the pandemic eases soon.

I was determined to drop a girl because she’s too crazy to keep seeing, but I might be forced into a fwb unless I can convince others to meet.

PapaPinyun · 2020-03-30T17:31:15+00:00

My wife's bigotry is fast-tracking my anxious exit strategy contingency- jesus she just raves and raves with so much hatred at everyone on earth. Someone on PPD recently suggested that the female is the bigot of the species and it sure looks like that in our little microcosm.

BumblingBeta · 2020-03-30T19:46:15+00:00

It can be a blessing if you're actually attracted to your partner. It can be a curse if you settled just for the money/security and secretly resent them (as I imagine a lot of women do).

CentralAdmin · 2020-03-31T00:21:51+00:00

Things are great!

I get delicious home cooked meals, there's always some playful teasing, flirting and light over the clothes action followed by some fooling around.

Just like at work! XD

M0rtAuxRois · 2020-03-30T17:10:13+00:00

Honestly, almost no difference. I have a GF and a side chick -- been seeing the GF once a week, sidechick once a week. All three of us are working from home and quarantined anyway, so the weekly rendezvous aren't changing much.

Really I don't think much has changed in general. I got a chick's number on the lightrail like two days ago, and another potential sidechick has been asking to come over, so all seems pretty normal overall. Probably different for different people.

Title	Discussion: Going up or down? Relationships and COVID-19
Author	OddButton6
Upvotes	12
Comments	98
Date	March 30, 2020 4:58 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/fruik4/discussion_going_up_or_down_relationships_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/discussion-going-up-or-down-relationships-and.360256 https://theredarchive.com/post/360256

Comments