Explain a feasibly ideal relationship

AliceOxalis · 2016-10-18T03:15:37+00:00

I am in my ideal relationship, so AMA I guess?

My guy is super hot, cool, fascinating, talented, hot, funny, cultured, educated, hot, godly at sex, fun, confident, and did I mention hot? I don't know how I got this lucky.

wuboo · 2016-10-18T05:53:20+00:00

Can't imagine my relationship to be any better than it already is. My gf is hot, smart, adventurous, funny, sweet, and just awesome. We're both focused on our careers while having fun and developing our relationship. My ideal, something that's still pretty far down the road, is to get married and grow old together.

SetConsumes · 2016-10-18T10:16:00+00:00

You know... I don't even know anymore.

I'm hoping you accept this as an answer, but it's like, previously I've always done power exchange relationships and stuff along those lines, and it's all been fun and hot, but the girls were often crazy and the relationships unstable.

I've also done normie relationships, but I found those boring and normie girls also tend to dislike me pretty quickly because once you get to know me I am basically still a weirdo who is just good at acting normal after years of practice.

So for a successful LTR I essentially need a girl who is "good crazy." As weird as me and enjoys the stuff I do, but without being so unstable that an LTR won't work between us. I am beginning to think such a girl may be a unicorn, but only time will tell. I honestly don't care if it never happens, would just be nice if it did.

buartha · 2016-10-18T08:43:17+00:00

Kind of like my current relationship but with a partner who understands how the dishwasher works and has the motivation to use it occasionally.

Seriously though, someone who's more inclined to take the lead than I am (I'd rather not when it comes to relationships,) intelligent, interesting, meets my criteria for attractiveness (basically 'not fat and not bald with at least 4/10 face') and preferably stronger than me/ able to lift me up.

They also have to contribute something to the relationship. I don't care that much about the amount of money provided we have enough to live on, but since I don't have kids or anything that would similarly take up a lot of time at home, I'd want them to be doing something with their time, even if it's volunteering while they looked for another job.

MisgenderedCactus · 2016-10-18T10:12:03+00:00

My own relationship is ideal for me.

We are both single, never married, with no kids. No cohabitating. I'm going to be 30 soon, and he's 45. Been together for 8 years, known each other as "just friends" for 2 years before that. We are currently best friends and lovers, and we are always honest with each other about everything.

He's a fantastic man. He's a nerd like me, though he's into tech and I'm more into the sciences. We both read comics, play videogames, and are part of a gaming group that meets every Friday for D&D, etc. He is goofy, extroverted, awesome sense of humor, has an amazing smile that crinkles his eyes in a way that I love, is charming, and just as kinky as me. His scent is just out of this world, it's like he's a walking aphrodisiac, lol. He's kind, has decent self-esteem, is "purple pill" like myself, and is a delightfully weird combination of confident in some areas but vulnerable in others.

He also doesn't pressure me to subscribe to gender roles, and uses our time together to relax so I can make the decisions about where we go, what restaurants we eat at, what movies we see, what videogames we buy to share, and let's me pay for our dates which makes me feel good to be a provider. Essentially, he lets me be "the man" while still being a hetero male himself. It's fucking great, and more than I could've ever hoped for when I was younger.

He is nearly perfect to me, and I have nothing but love and adoration for him.

TraditionalMan · 2016-10-18T10:52:27+00:00

Easy enough.

We've been together for nearly 17 years, married for 9. Our first child is on the way, and as the pregnancy progresses (and the old house sells) she'll be leaving her awful job to stay at home. I'll be supporting the family and the little farm. She has already cranked the domestic up quite a bit, tending the house and making it a sanctuary to come home to. Our intimate life is very healthy.

Our relationship is based on trust, communication, and respect. We're not a fairy tale--we disagree, we fight, but as time has gone on we've gotten closer, our relationship has grown stronger, and we've both worked, and continue to work, hard to be the best we can be.

I'm not sure what else to cover, but I'd be happy to elaborate for specific questions.

trpobserver · 2016-10-18T11:26:08+00:00

She likes to read and play video games and watch movies and have lots of sex and doesn't want to go to bars and clubs.

Even the "introverted" "bookish" girls still go out and do all that stuff, and I just have no interest in it. I like peace a quiet, I like gardening and meditating.

[deleted] · 2016-10-18T13:37:01+00:00

First 5 and last 2 minutes of the movie Up.

Shazoa · 2016-10-18T14:41:12+00:00

Just being with someone who appreciates you for who you are, and not necessarily just for what you do or have. I think the best relationships can work with nothing - you can both be broke, down in the dumps and can't see a way out but you still just enjoy being around eachtother. You work as a team, and you truly know that they'd do just as much for you as you would for them.

sunkindonut149 · 2016-10-18T17:53:16+00:00

I think the ideal relationship is when both parties have the same teleological idea of the relationship and similar ways of working toward this

cxj · 2016-10-18T21:37:00+00:00

Both on board with avoiding the Great American Treadmill lifestyle at all costs. Both part time working in medical field or whatever else, low amount of material consumption, time for going on hikes and shit together as well as down time book reading/computer screwing around/etc. Plenty of sex, especially spontaneously, like fucking at 1pm while the kids are still in school.

Also, being nice, sweet and romantic to each other. Plenty of I love you's, calling each other beautiful/sexy/cute a lot, affectionate cuddling bordering on smothering, etc.

Definitely against helicopter parenting, but our kids WILL respect adults and follow the rules in their homes even if its not talking about evolution or stupid fucking gender pronouns because their house = their rules. Also, they WILL be polite to customer service and other ppl at their jobs, and clean up after themselves. Outside of that run off into the woods and come back dirty, play violent video games, have adventures etc.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-10-18T07:51:12+00:00

As close to an actual master-slave relationship as possible. Find myself a third world woman, purchase her outright from her impoverished throng of a family and hold them economically hostage via a steady trickle of sustenance payments. She doesn't suck, fuck and do chores when and how I want, and she gets to hear about her younger siblings starving to death.

No muss, no fuss.

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betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-10-18T05:21:10+00:00

My ideal wouldn't apply to everyone, so I'll cover my needs beforehand.

I'm an independent and solitary person, when socialising I'm quite extroverted and strike up conversation with anyone and form bonds quite quickly. While it works well in these events and I enjoy myself at the time, after I need to recharge and have time to myself. The amount required is related to the time I spend in that 'mode'.

The same applies to sexual partners too, it's draining after a time and I need space to recharge. This has applied to long term relationships too.

So my ideal relationship type is an open one with separate living arrangements. Where I enjoy time with the other person and develop a lasting as well as growing relationship with the other person that accepts my need for distance. Depending on my mental state I go from wanting sex once a fortnight to multiple times daily. So the same partner who can deal with one aspect of this is often not happy with the other. So it's beneficial for both them and myself to be able to pursue sex with others.

I'd say all of my casual arrangements have been like this and I haven't had a formal relationship in this sense. I can imagine my ideal relationship forming with the casual relationships I'm involved in now; as one may become more emotionally based over time in which case a long term relationship would only exist as a way to encourage each other to invest further in the emotional sense. Something people understandably want to refrain from if the other party may become exclusive with another.

The majority of my current sexual partners have come in and out of my life for years as their relationship status changes. While I've been in one night stands, I approach sex with an ongoing arrangement in mind. So all of them have some sort of emotional relationship behind them. It's really a case of what some describe as friends with benefits and a long term relationship that finds a middle ground between the two.

damaskrose · 2016-10-18T07:06:40+00:00

My relationship is pretty ideal for me.

My husband and I are both introverts, with me being on the more extreme end of the spectrum. But unlike some of the other introverts I've dated, he's not emotionally stunted or emotionally unavailable - I think he's actually got quite high emotional intelligence, and certainly higher than mine.

Our personalities are similar in lots of ways, but different in ways which complement each other. He's more grounded whereas I'm more head-in-the-clouds, he's a big-picture thinker and I'm detail-oriented, that kind of thing.

midnightvulpine · 2016-10-18T10:27:43+00:00

This will be a bit light, but it's that way for a reason. The perfect relationship to me is one in which the two involved in it communicate well, understand one another and their desires and are willing to compromise to make each other happy and push forward the relationship in a healthy manner.

That's the kind of relationship that lasts and has a positive impact on the two involved. I don't go into more detail because the details of it are unimportant. The important part of a good relationship is communication and understanding. Doesn't matter if your relationship centers around egalitarianism, Captain/First Mate or BDSM. No matter what format you choose, communication and some measure of willingness to compromise when needed are key to getting everyone as much of what they want as possible.

shogunofsarcasm · 2016-10-18T11:04:38+00:00

Working on our 3rd year and have been living together for most of it.

I would say this is an ideal relationship.

He doesn't get abusive when drunk, he isn't ashamed to say we are together and only hides me like previous people have.

He is trusting and easy to trust, loving and easy to love, he builds me up and never tears me down, he appreciates that I do the same for him. We have similar ideals, backgrounds, senses of humor, goals in life, and ambitions in careers.

Then there is the fact that he understands sometimes I get frustrated and lets me deal while trying to distract me instead of turning it in to a fight. We rarely actually fight and when we do it is resolved that day because we are able to discuss after a cool down.

There are a ton of little things too like how he likes the cookie and I like the filling in oreos so that I can quadruple stuff while he has a nothing sandwich lol

We are also wonderfully compatible in the bedroom.

After all of that he is really hot/cute/sexy but it is mostly a bonus on top of the rest.

He isnt perfect, but he is my perfect.

DebatePony · 2016-10-18T15:45:09+00:00

My husband and I have been together since we were 14. We were each other's first and only in everything. We have spent over half of our lives together and are on the same page when it comes to (almost) all factors in our lives. We have survived; middle school, high school, college, deaths in the family (both sides), international trips (he was on team USA and had to go oversees for a week twice whilst in college), jealously, "friends" who tried to break us up, women/men trying to insert themselves in our lives all without breaking up.

Of course there were some hard times, but we never let those who were against us win. We still fight, sometimes about silly things, sometimes about serious things, but we always try to do so in a civil manner and avoid name calling (alcohol does not help with this :/ ).

I find him incredibly attractive and judging by the way he likes to grab at me, he also finds me attractive. But more importantly than the physical looks, is his personality. He makes me laugh daily (and I make him laugh as well), we enjoy the same things (video games, tv shows) and the things we don't have in common (I read/knit, him not so much) are not things that would ruin a relationship. If I want to read instead of play video games, I'll read whilst he plays. We usually do these things in the same room because we like being close to each other even if we aren't doing the same thing.

Bonus: we both played Pokemon growing up (edit:still play), but were scared to tell the other about our love for it since it was viewed as "nerdy" and neither one of us fit that stereotype. But when Pokemon Emerald came out, we both ended up talking about it and realized we still played. In addition, we always got the opposite game from the other even before we met. I had red, gold, ruby etc, he had blue, silver, sapphire etc. It is* fate. Or so we like to think. :) Still get opposite games now, it's awesome.

I would do anything and everything for him. Live, die or kill. (And he would do the same, as he oft says "(my name) I would kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you" in a Homer Simpson voice, gods he is funny and I love him so much.)

EDIT 2: I think the best possible relationship would be one that starts young but allows for each person to grow and change as an individual.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2016-10-18T16:56:22+00:00

Nothing. My ideal life would be travelling around for work while having load of flings and short term relationships before running a business when I am middle aged.

despisedlove2 · 2016-10-18T18:04:08+00:00

There is no relationship possible in this day and age with women because family is not as important to them as it was in the previous generation.

Further, constraints on female hypergamy are now almost completely gone. Coupled with divorce rape, there is no reason for a man to concern himself with marriage.

It is a lie while he might enjoy it, but ultimately it ruins him.

A small fraction of men who answer to female antisocial preferences can have stable marriages, but the age of socially constructive betas is past.

Entropy-7 · 2016-10-18T18:40:25+00:00

Hot 20-something nympho with a trust fund comes to mind.

Alternatively, a woman who knows how to "work a room".

SpaceWhiskey · 2016-10-18T18:43:23+00:00

I'm in my ideal relationship. We're full partners: best friends, co-owners of a business, very sexually compatible. He's a feminist, very physically attractive to me, talented, funny, a good cook, good hygiene, doesn't get jealous, sexually adventurous, doesn't care about my past, same views and goals, same political opinions. For our situation to work, we're both very open and honest, we don't hide frustration from each other, nothing is off the table for discussion.

SetConsumes · 2016-10-18T19:39:17+00:00

The woman trusts the man and gives into his lead, direction, and purpose.

shoup88 · 2016-10-18T19:48:28+00:00

Two people who are easygoing and independent. They don't get caught up in the small stuff like who gets to pick the paint for the bathroom, and they don't rely solely on each other for social interaction or comfort. They need to be able to entertain themselves. Don't look for fights where none exist.

Most importantly, they have to actually like each other - in the bedroom, in the house, in the rest of the world. A person who is embarrassed by their partner in public is a person in a doomed relationship.

Five_Decades · 2016-10-19T19:02:11+00:00

A man and woman who have both done a lot of work on themselves emotionally. Both fairly intelligent, introspective and emotionally stable. Also both aware of how childhood traumas shape your tastes in mates for both good and bad.

Basically someone who approaches it intelligently gathering as much knowledge as possible to build an emotionally stable relationship.

If the woman is a trust fund baby, even better. Deep down inside I'm a greedy piece of shit.

Apexk9 · 2016-10-18T06:09:51+00:00

Everything I say goes but i will consider all their points and pick the nest course of action.

Sex is frequent and she works on improving that in herself for our benefit and for my arousal.

I give her Co. Fort and romance in return.

We both keep in shape and try and help each other grow as individuals.

No complacincy

[deleted] · 2016-10-18T17:02:44+00:00

Assuming you are referring to heterosexual and monogamous relationships..

Masculine man + feminine woman

Man leads, woman follows.

That's it. Tried and true. If you like the concept of masculinity and femininity and believe that teams require leadership, then it's the relationship ideal for you.

Title	Explain a feasibly ideal relationship
Author	i_have_a_semicolon
Upvotes	5
Comments	95
Date	October 18, 2016 3:09 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/581ncg/explain_a_feasibly_ideal_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/explain-a-feasibly-ideal-relationship.272307 https://theredarchive.com/post/272307

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