Has anyone else noticed that sometimes one partner is less attractive than the other?

Sir_manalot · 2020-06-30T00:06:03+00:00

Are you seriously baffled by the concept that people match for more then just looks?

You are aware that you will probably be living 24/7 for years with this person, right?

sparklingscott · 2020-06-30T04:00:35+00:00

Pretty woman = money

Pretty man = plate spinnin

Dora_Bowl · 2020-06-29T23:11:46+00:00

I fail to see why this matters.

TheJim66 · 2020-06-29T23:23:19+00:00

Two reasons.

1.Many relationships are a result of compromise or utility. Women have relationships with men they aren't actually attracted to because of money or comfort or because they have been single too long and have gotten desperate. Men have relationships with less attractive(although they still find them attractive enough) women because it makes the relationship easier or they are not very good with women.

2.The black pill theory is plain false. Looks are VERY important but they aren't the only factor female sexuality responds too. Status and game are also very important.

Barneysparky · 2020-06-29T23:05:10+00:00

You are the beholder.

Somehow men see other men as 6s and 8s and women are lucky to get a 4.

I can't count how many Hollywood actresses I've seen labelled as less attractive than average.

SmurfESmurferson · 2020-06-30T03:42:14+00:00

I dumped one of the hottest men I’ve ever laid eyes on for an average guy who has status and makes me feel amazing

AMA

2020-06-30T02:36:22+00:00

Has anyone else noticed the sky is blue?

Damn crazy shit yo

HappilyMrs · 2020-06-30T08:26:46+00:00

Oh yeah I see lots of disparity in looks. My SIL is easily an 8, my BIL is about 5ft6, receeding hairline since his early 20s, he's maybe a 5. But he is funny, they have an awesome personality match, and she thinks he's the most attractive man in the world. His height doesn't bother her, they both joke about it, he isn't butt hurt about it.

One of my sisters is a 7, her husband is a 6. The other is a 3, her husband is a 7. Similar life outlooks/values, similar humour, complimentary personalities makes it work.

Suck-Less · 2020-06-29T23:14:19+00:00

Uh, who cares? We are all ugly to someone, all someone else’s type too.

SslimReaperr · 2020-06-29T23:56:06+00:00

All of my partners are attractive but not as attractive as me. People tend to “congratulate” my partners or call them “lucky”, while I am never told these things.

People always say women date up, but I see way more women with less attractive men than the reverse.

An unspoken rule is that the more attractive person has more power over the relationship. I’m sure it varies from relationship to relationship.

relish5k · 2020-06-30T00:18:35+00:00

I would say the vast majority of couples are looksmatched unless:

they got together a long time ago, and one of the partners has let themselves go
one of the partners (usually the male) is much wealthier than the other

witchfromthewoods · 2020-06-30T02:15:54+00:00

I think this is a matter of your personal opinion on attractiveness versus the people in the relationship , you may not find a certain person's features to be attractive but their significant other could

nemma88 · 2020-06-30T00:58:52+00:00

People have other attributes that make them good (or not so good) life partners. All that matters in the sexy area is if I'm attracted to them or not - other persons ratings or objective attractiveness don't matter at all. I've briefly dated some more and some less objectively attractive people and, at least in my experience MY sexual attraction does not rise and fall in linearly with these things.

Personally, I believe people care too much what other people might think of them.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-06-30T02:24:00+00:00

She's trying to convince herself she's above her primal nature and can settle for a guy so long as he "brings enough to the table".

Chances for divorce: Off the charts.

Once the kids are born and the mortgage is in place, these women very often "level up" man-wise.

Lacuna-Foil · 2020-06-30T03:39:32+00:00

Different people want different things out of their mates. I'm not sure what's hard to track about this (not pinging you personally, OP, just a general observation).

If you buy into the concepts of love maps, as defined by John Money, (I know not everyone does), it's pretty clear that the formation of an individual's map can vary wildly from person and it can be altered due to any number of events. Our environment and circumstances inform it, and it's basically impossible to confirm a person's map just at first glance what a person's might be.

While there is a social understanding of attractiveness, this isn't the same as any given person's version of attractiveness. Arguably looks are important to people (the extent varying person to person), but what we consider good looks also has variation.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-06-30T05:24:32+00:00

Yeah I’m a man I don’t get women by being pretty

dalia-chan · 2020-06-30T21:24:13+00:00

I might surprise but life Is not an OTOME game where you can select a partner based on your favorit hair/eye color and face shape. It’s a matter of luck and timing

Unlike television Attractive people are not the majority

A non-famous local person who’s a total 10, will probably end up single, if she only wants a partner who’s exactly as attractive as her plus of being emotionally compatible, it’s kind of rare to find both. A successful chad/ stacy who wants someone as attractive and accomplished as them will have an extremely small dating pool

Plus they don’t truly select uggos but above-average or cute average people . I usually see 9 people dating 7’s.

the only reason why you mostly see that, is because of the contrast, a model type man will definitly make his cute girl next-door girlfriend look average, and it’s the same thing with a gorgeous woman and an average decent looking man

SchathachEnigma · 2020-07-01T04:07:52+00:00

..hmmm I am still trying to understand the context of the question.

My current partner if seen objectively, he isn't that handsome. He is skinny, and without (stable) earning yet. But I like him because we share the similar wave length, makes it easy to discuss various things and explore several perspectives. We also plan to get married.

His friends often joke about how could he get someone like me, like in the nuance that "I am too good for him."

But why should that matter? He isn't a dick, or a pervert who justifies acting as he likes just to fulfill his sexual needs. I feel safe around him. We met up through Tinder, but unlike in US, over here it can be used to simply meet up without hooking up. We both just wanted a conversation partner at that time. We never thought we would end up liking each other and eventually sleep together.

I believe look does matter, but it depends on your own priority scale. What is your purpose of finding a partner? To get your gears going and turned on? To let you fantasize? To settle down? What does settling down mean to you? What do you look for in life?

After that, there is a mixture of personal judgment vs objective judgment. For example, I like my partner's side profile. I find his back and neck attractive. I could look at it all day. Would other people agree with me? Nah, maybe not. Who knows.

But I remember talking to a friend about ideal type of men. That time, I realized that I tend to avoid the popular guys, both the "asshole" and "role model" archetypes, because I assume that personality wise, they have the potential to be a manwhore, or too conventional/rigid for my taste.

daddysgotanew · 2020-07-01T13:46:44+00:00

Because in the real world, people aren’t obsessed with extremes like everyone on here. In the real world, hot chicks date dudes with beer guts and good looking dudes will sometimes drop their standards to get laid like every other dude has to

virtualreality_3 · 2020-07-02T00:34:55+00:00

Man, there are some attractive guys who are complete train wrecks, and there are some attractive women who are unbelievably annoying and aggravating. There are also some people who at first glance don't seem like the most attractive but they start talking and moving around and immediately you are captivated. Some people are hilarious or interesting or just fun. Some people are attractive but you feel like you are with a cardboard cutout and after a while their attractiveness loses its novelty. Any two people can just work together perfectly and see each other as attractive and having an ideal personality. Some people are just piercingly intelligent and hearing them talk is fascinating. Other people are passionate about the oddest things and seeing them talk about their hobby is incredibly endearing. Attractiveness helps with all of these things but there is just so much to like people for that isn't just looks.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2020-06-29T23:10:06+00:00

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slattdeep · 2020-06-29T23:08:27+00:00

Theres other reasons than looks why people are together.

My older guy friend in ltr told me that woman want someone that makes them feel safe and comfortable in society.

It may not always be a looksmatched person.

Any combination among the big 5 attractive features( looks, personality, status, wealth, lifestyle) can be the reason/s

It really is not only about looks, even more-so for women

TheGirlGetter9000 · 2020-06-29T23:23:49+00:00

Consider that, assuming you are not bi, one of these people is your own gender, and it’s hard for people to set their ego aside and uber-objectively assess people of their own gender, as well as completely understand the selection process of the opposite gender.

I avert this by assuming all pairings are matched. If either partner could have gotten better, they would have. Looks are not the sole criteria of either gender, but do weigh heavily for men being judged by women, and even more heavily for women being judged by men.

If two people aren’t equals in looks, something else is tying them together. Maybe the man is very needy, which lowers his value down to the woman’s. Maybe he’s poor and she’s rich and he values her money. Maybe she gives good head. If the women is more attractive just flip things around and you can find reasons they’re together too.

Ultimately it just shows looks are a high weight—why most couple’s are looksmatched—but not the only weight, though there are countless other individualized factors that could stand in as that weight.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-06-29T23:20:41+00:00

All the time. It's in people's best interest to punch up and get someone who is more attractive than them. That's one of the basic goals of biology and life on earth. From that perspective, you could say that it is actually the personality that is the bonus.

ghoulish-thermometer · 2020-06-30T06:08:04+00:00

It turns out life is more complex than the autistic formulations of redpilled men. Sometimes people fall in love with people outside their attractiveness range.

geyejoe7 · 2020-06-30T10:18:24+00:00

It's because everyone has different standards of beauty.

Some people have told me I'm a lucky guy (implying my fiancée is a lot better looking at me) (they're not wrong lol)

Some told me we match.

It depends on who you ask for a couple. That's why it's almost never looksmatch.

Shadow_Of_ · 2020-06-30T16:29:09+00:00

Usually the woman is ugly as shit while the guy is just a scruffy looking 5/10

Title	Has anyone else noticed that sometimes one partner is less attractive than the other?
Author	scmscmscum
Upvotes	4
Comments	102
Date	June 29, 2020 11:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hib18m/has_anyone_else_noticed_that_sometimes_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/has-anyone-else-noticed-that-sometimes-one-partner.701330 https://theredarchive.com/post/701330

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