How do you avoid people like this?

jellyewlly · 2021-06-02T10:29:12+00:00

Oh wow she wants someone to take her on dates and put effort into the date,the horror. She specified that by spoiled she meant thought put into having a fun time not outrageous gifts. As for how to avoid people like her? Only hangout with girls who are cool with going on “walk” dates i guess.

ivy176 · 2021-06-02T10:14:05+00:00

If you only date for appearence that's what you get. Too often men ignore personality and choose mainly based on looks. Care for a person's hobbies, valued and behaviour as much as you want to sleep with them. Further more, control your sexual impulses and don't sleep with just any woman. YOU are the one to choose the quality of the women, foremost by educating yourself on delaying gratification. Focus on vetting a woman for a LTR instead of casually wanting to bang her, imagine how little attention you would give to the wrong woman.

Mimoxs · 2021-06-02T07:48:55+00:00

No mention of what she brings to a mutually beneficial relationship.

She's making a rant on Snapchat or Instagram or something my dude. Normal human beings that don't spend their time in spaces like this don't feel the need to write a 5 point essay weighing what they want vs what they bring and justify each little thing they want. She's just frustrated and expressing it.

When someone complains about their boss being an ass do you go up to them like "and what value do you have as an employee huh?? Let's see your sales stats" like a psycho

Competitive_Pen2282 · 2021-06-02T09:23:59+00:00

Date unattractive woman who can't find anyone who treats her nice.

Pola_Lita · 2021-06-02T12:30:57+00:00

There's not enough information on the clip to even worry about. Why did you cut her off just as she was explaining what she wanted to document?

She's beautiful and you mentioned that you had to cut for her cleavage. Are her looks what's making you angry?

xQueen-Bx · 2021-06-02T12:46:39+00:00

dont be the guy who spoils women and takes them on beta dates

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-06-02T08:25:52+00:00

What she's upset by are men that put in zero effort. I think to be honest the whole "I want to be wined and dined" is a slight overreaction just to get away from men who do absolutely nothing.

I would ask respectfully for them to invest something too to make the date fun. Dates should be fun and if you're both trying to make it fun you can have a good time.

Be selfish and ask to go somewhere you'd like to go on a date. If you don't like dinner dates. Don't go on dinner dates. Go to an art gallery. Go bowling. Make it playful. You can split the bill or you can get investment in different ways "I'll take you bowling and pay but only if you buy me flowers"

Ultimately if you're looking for a relationship you should be looking to both put in effort but also expect the other person to put in effort too. You both need to invest a little bit and you should both be selfish in wanting to enjoy the night out.

If she's not willing to listen to anything you want from the relationship, even minor things then hard pass.

Gravel_Roads · 2021-06-02T07:56:03+00:00

Through conversation and observation. TRP is half-correct in "watch what she does", but I think there's a lot to learn from "what she says" as well, if you know how to infer information based on how it's presented.

How does she treat wait staff at restaurants? How does she treat her environment (does she litter? is she wasteful? does she notice or care if she inconveniences others?) How does she treat animals? Is she patient with the homeless or mentally ill? Does she make jokes at other people's expense?

What you ultimately are looking for are two things:

1.) signs of having good boundaries, both in knowing how to say "no" to things that aren't good for her life as well as emotional boundaries so they aren't constantly being set off, offended, hurt or scared. A self-aware person with social anxiety is common and fine, but a person with social anxiety that they won't acknowledge, and instead expect to have their fears accomodated is going to be a tedious cryer who accuses you of not caring or being supportive.

2.) signs of having a conscience. Everyone hurts people sometimes, it can't be avoided. But a person who doesn't care if they hurt people isn't going to care if they hurt you. Mean jokes, rudeness to less fortunate people, cruel ways of viewing people who are struggling or unhappy, all of these things suggest a person who is either a narcissist, a psychopath or someone who has been around those types of personalities that, unfortunately, they have picked up the bad habits.

midwestufohunter · 2021-06-02T16:30:24+00:00

What's hard? If you see something you don't like, don't pursue her.

It's not like she's gonna pursue you and then not leave you alone.

honeydewmelonz · 2021-06-02T18:19:08+00:00

She answers your question in the video. She isn’t wasting more time by answering “come over and watch Netflix” or “let’s hang out at my place”. Just say that and you’ll never hear from girls like her again.

What she brings to the relationship is for the guy she’s dating to decide. That shouldn’t piss you off unless you want to date her. All she’s really saying is she wants a real relationship with a guy she can have fun with instead of being asked to “hang out”.

It sounds like women with expectations trigger you.

NockerJoe · 2021-06-02T07:46:22+00:00

I mean theres nothing wrong with wanting a partner who puts effort in, provided you also put in effort. I don't know if I'd personally date her but a tiktok in't really the place for long or nuanced takes.

The actual answer is to stop being a fucking weenie and ask out who you like and enforce your boundaries like an adult.

sdwdqw65 · 2021-06-02T08:22:12+00:00

I don’t see what there is to avoid.

I mean it’s only a 1 minute video or so, so obviously I can’t judge her as a person but she seems in that 1 minute clip to be a completely normal/reasonable person.

I mean she said she wants a guy to “spoil her” and she clarified that to mean to think of something fun to do. Like.....idk I don’t get what there is to criticize/avoid. That’s bare minimum IMO, I don’t think I’d want to date a woman who lacked self respect and was fine with a lame ass Netflix/chill as a first date.

As for the whole “cock carousel” implication, idk man you can’t judge IMO. She said in college she hung out with guys, that’s vague okay whatever. However she also said she thinks she hasn’t put herself out there enough.

Like idk it just seems like you’re jumping to conclusions about who she is/her past with inadequate information. Also IMO she has a good first impression. She’s pretty, seems reasonable, her clarification for what “spoiled” meant to her wasn’t a shallow answer like expensive dinners/gifts she wants something more genuine.

NarniaFox · 2021-06-02T07:55:16+00:00

Date someone who's okay with splitting bills/paying in turns and who doesn't expect you to always take the initiative. I think 3-4 dates are more than enough to figure it out. Even better is to chat for some time and see their expectations beforehand.

Dating in your social circle is another great way to avoid people you aren't okay with, because you usually know their dating history, but it doesn't work if you're into casual and want to change partners often.

ohyeaoksure · 2021-06-02T12:24:44+00:00

lol, this is exactly what my mom taught me about dating. She said, learned to dance, you like girls? you want girls? learn to be comfortable dancing. Second, HAVE A PLAN, don't just show up and ask a girl what she wants to do, have a plan, and have a sort of back up in case the date is going really well and you want to extend it, have a follow on plan.

currently_confused50 · 2021-06-02T12:49:10+00:00

My only indicator so far was how much two-way respect she expects in relationship? If someone expects that relationship doesnt impact their individuality at all, it usually mean that person is only capable of having STR or FWB.

Another anecdote, I dated a girl and at one point I made her nice dinner and she started crying. She couldnt believe someone would do that for her. She was 27 and not virgin. Guess the dating history.......

Hoopy223 · 2021-06-02T13:20:45+00:00

You can’t. Those people are really good at hiding who they actually are. She’ll be the girl of your dreams for awhile and then she turns into the bitch from hell. The best you can do is bail once you figure out who she really is.

superlurkage · 2021-06-02T12:29:31+00:00

If you don’t spoil her, she’ll whine, pout and dump you.

Wow, so easy! What’s all the whining for now?

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-06-02T12:38:30+00:00

Just keep being you? If you’re someone who puts in zero effort and won’t even take someone on a date, women who want that won’t bother with you.

It sounds to me like she just wants to actually date someone who cares enough to want her to have a good time. Nothing unreasonable. But yeah if you don’t want that, literally all you have to do is keep doing what you’re doing.

Post_Shit · 2021-06-02T13:10:36+00:00

Don't spoil her with dates and she'll filter herself out for you.

TheOffice_Account · 2021-06-03T01:07:52+00:00

This is a good question. I don't think there is a really good answer out there, because there is an evolutionary advantage for women to hide their need for multiple men and hypergamy, just as there is an evolutionary need for men to suss out if the woman is going to be loyal to him. I think this is called the Red Queen hypothesis, or an 'evolutionary arms race' but I can't be certain.

But in practical terms, from my experience alone (so, this is anecdotal), I've noticed that the more radical the switch the woman is making, the easier it is to suss them out. Women who have had good father figures and male role models tend to be more trusting of me, while at the same time, being slightly wary and skeptical in the beginning. But they warm up to me faster, and are more trusting. Whereas, women who are like this one in this video - those who have spent multiple years around rash Chads - they tend to do one of two things. Either they come on to me very aggressively, or they shun me till they find out more about my background. Then they become interested in me. In any case, they hold all future men responsible for the pain and damage caused by the earlier men in their lives (even those Chads that these women themselves chose).

Edit: Evidence, lmao https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nqzu45/there_is_no_incentive_for_kevin_samuels_to_be/h0ecz44/

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-06-02T20:11:12+00:00

"In college didn't do the boyfriend thing anyway"...

Like...

How do women think saying stuff like this make you look cool?

I swear girls these days are clueless, they think being a used up whinny brat somehow make them score high, the audacity

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2021-06-02T10:30:23+00:00

Dont try to exchange money for beauty,youth, companionship or sex.

Dont try to buy a woman's love by showering her in gifts or expensive trips, if she demands that to get her "love", run away, you re better off paying to an escort, which I highly discourage you to do so, but the only difference is that the escort will treat you with more dignity,just that as you wont get the love of neither.

If she explicitly states that you have to wait for sex then avoid her,not because she isnt down to fuck but because you are being belittled to nothing more than a little dog who is desperate for a bone and she is nothing more than a fraud.

If she suddenly tells you things like 'i ve only been with a few men' or 'im a virgin' in hopes of winning you over, she is a fraud. (If that is true she doesnt needs to say it so early, in fact she doesnt needs to say nothing at all because if you re patient you will find out).

Dont put that much importance on virginity, what I mean by this is that just because she is a virgin... or says she is ,doesnt makes her girlfriend material by default, she may as well be lying.

Dont chase sex nor companionship.

If a woman tries to win you over with sex, that relationship is doomed to fail.

Dont be down for a relationship since day 1, wait instead and see who is she, if you give relationships vibes too early, most women will just put a façade.

Dont try to prove yourself "worthy" to a woman that pedestalizes herself and expects you to just magically know how great she is.

Dont use terms like 'high value' or 'low value' to describe women, use terms like 'normal women' and 'women that it Is better to avoid'.

Dont accept being belittled at any stage.

Dont take women you barely know to dinner dates or other serious dates that only couples do.

Dont be afraid of showing a bit of warmth, thats actually a good way to spot normal women from women it is better to avoid.

Make gifts only to the woman that you choose as a girflriend and only if she doesnt shows disrespect, the moment she shows disrespect is the moment you deprive her from your love.

You re no ones therapist, if she decided to stay in an abusive relationship and that caused her "trauma", thats her problem, not yours.

this are good ways to avoid women like the one in the video,If I remember something else i will update this post.

Chaddamhusein · 2021-06-02T08:43:02+00:00

You dont avoid them, you do what the other guys did and just try to fuckzone them

taapy234 · 2021-06-02T10:12:35+00:00

You can't bro.

AWALT is there for a reason. Most women are thots like this. You can't avoid this.

You are better off aiming to be a Alpha fucks in your life even though its technically 100% not possible as a average guy. This is why I aim to fulfill atleast 25% of that goal. (which is atleast doable in the long term if not impossible)

Hit the gym. Live your life. And fuck bitches.

Don't try to be someone who wants to have a "relationship" with a woman. Its a trap. Relationships and traditional monogamy is a thing of the past.

Blatant serial monogamy is in. FWBs is where's the real deal at in 2021.

There's a reason why despite being 25 she's only used to "having fun." She's a chad's play thing.

TheDevilPutD · 2021-06-02T10:41:28+00:00

There is a saying as old as time. Treat a whore like a queen and a queen like a whore. Here is someone who wants to be a queen.

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StarchRunner · 2021-06-02T08:04:42+00:00

I, like, avoid, like, verbal fryers, like, yeah. And people who talk like that.

splunx · 2021-06-02T08:39:52+00:00

dude thats rude...

souredskittles · 2021-06-02T09:42:55+00:00

Don’t date at all :)

xFallacyx69 · 2021-06-02T12:45:49+00:00

Check out TRP sidebar. Most dudes have a pretty good feel for what a woman is asking for vs. what she brings to the table. If you don’t, I’d start practicing with your chick friends.

If all else fails, watch actions and disregard words that don’t corroborate those actions.

infps · 2021-06-02T13:03:11+00:00

Leave the USA for warmer waters, and avoid the very materialistic girls in Europe, East Europe, Asia.

If they aren't blinging their cell, expecting you to pay for lots of foodie bullshit and trips, or being all about masaratis and nonsense, then most are okay. Some ex communist area girls are really really wounded about money and are just the dirtiest of transactionalists, and plenty of poor Asian girls are really really wounded about money in similar ways.

Some poor Asian girls are REALLY poor and you need to stay away in order to be fair to both of you... The cultural difference will likely be far too much between you and someone who is actually third world, unless you're like very uneducated and super trad, maybe very religious. Even then, I doubt it would ever work out.

It might take a minute to realize these things, and I'm telling you the worst parts. For the most part, warmer waters really are warmer waters and you may be able to live oblivious that all the nonsense you're talking about is even a thing that exists in the world.

MisterJose · 2021-06-02T14:31:08+00:00

Are you planning to spoil women you meet who you feel bring nothing to a relationship with you? If not, then when you meet her, it won't work out, and you'll never talk to her again, and you can go on to the next one. Problem solved.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-02T14:41:20+00:00

Oh, so you have no autonomy? If she says, “spoil me”, you’re just gonna do it because.....she has your family locked up in a cellar ? She has a ring of power? Magic?

rft24 · 2021-06-02T18:27:18+00:00

the way she explained what she meant by “spoiled” wasn’t how you made it seem. she doesn’t seem to be asking for anything unreasonable, just for a guy to actually take her out in public. she didn’t say she wants dude to take her out to michelin star dinners and buy her birkin bags. she also did not state how many men she’s been with. for all we know, she “hung out” with like 5 or less dudes.

and what sense would it make for her to just randomly advertise what she can offer, when that’s not the point of her video? then people would just say she’s bragging or she’s full of herself.

anyways, there’s no way for you to really avoid that. there are no guarantees in dating, just precautions you can take to heighten or lower the chances of being with a particular kind of person.

you can try to go for women who are more (outwardly) conservative; but, like i said, there’s no guarantee you’ll find one that doesn’t expect the same or more from you and/or hasn’t slept around. appearances can be, and many times are, deceiving.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-06-02T21:34:40+00:00

They will treat you as sexually inexperienced.

After making you wait 3 months, you start having sex and it's all weird, it doesn't feel natural.

Instead of her being embarrassed and awkward, she's like, "okay this is how the guy I like having sex with did it".

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-06-02T22:58:50+00:00

If you're hot, just pretend to be stupid and you'll be put in the casual sex category.

If you're not hot, give off bf vibes, date multiple women at once, and string em along as long as necessary. Keep adding new ones to the mix.

When they want the "what are we" talk, dump their assess. From what I've seen, they stick around for a few months before wanting this talk.

move_to_alaska · 2021-06-03T03:49:45+00:00

You can't. The average woman has higher EIQ than you and will outwit you. Unless she's a raging BPD psycho-slut she will artfully conceal her "tells", spin you stories based on what you want to hear and will reasonably buy, imply in a million small ways that being with her will be easy and sexy and fun forever... and then once commitment is obtained you will get eviscerated like usual.

The key is not to try like hell to avoid getting taken for a ride. It's to have contingencies in place and conduct yourself in such a way that the inevitable disappointment won't really sting. If you're fucking 3 chicks who look like this, and one turns out to be the raging cunt from the video, c'est la vie. Just rotate her out.

Another thing is just don't get too invested, don't put that much effort in, and entertain yourself at her expense. Then if she turns out to be a raging cunt it's too late. You already enjoyed yourself while she did all the work. Of course you will contribute to producing more embittered beta-baiting chicks like this, but hey, that's their problem. The gender WARS are called that for a reason. She drew first blood by making this video, if all her vaginally-equipped sisters must pay the price for that then so be it.

gorilla_blanco · 2021-06-05T05:30:08+00:00

I’m done fucking the athletic dorm, frat row, the guy in the rock band, the dj, the bartender, the bouncer, the ripped guy from the gym, even my drug dealer... Hey where my rich guys at???

roxev · 2021-06-08T03:45:07+00:00

So what if they are. Stop talking to them and find someone else.

Title	How do you avoid people like this?
Author	Shassbot
Upvotes	11
Comments	193
Date	June 2, 2021 7:41 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nqgahs/how_do_you_avoid_people_like_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-avoid-people-like-this.773326 https://theredarchive.com/post/773326

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