How Do You Explain The Friend Zone?

milkyymochii · 2021-10-01T17:19:11+00:00

friend zone = she does not find you sexually attractive

doesn’t matter if you’re a male or female, if you find a great person that you vibe with but you don’t find them sexually appealing at all, a relationship is not plausible.

Ofc their are tons of nuances and exceptions, but bottom line is —> if the sexual attraction was naturally already there then you would not be in the friendzone.

CFinCanada · 2021-10-01T17:26:43+00:00

I have a guy friend of 12 years who is a good dude but he is also way too messy for me, I would kill him. Like he's an actual slob. He also doesn't have an easy laugh (I am drawn to men who laugh hard and often) and he smokes.

Actually, when I first met him I was attracted to him and thought we might date. But then I got to know him and just realized we weren't compatible in that way. But I still thought he was a good person though. Just not for me.

CFinCanada · 2021-10-01T17:28:30+00:00

What about the male-female friendships where they slept together before but nothing came of it but they stayed friends? I have one of those. I am also friends with his partner now, and he's friends with mine.

And what about the situations where you slept with them and then met their friend, found their friend attractive (in the one case I'm thinking of, found them more attractive than the original guy you slept with), but could not in good conscience sleep with two men who are friends because that would just be too much and screw up the dynamic of the group?

Sophiatab · 2021-10-01T17:37:31+00:00

Most of us expect to share more of our life with our romantic partner/spouse than we expect to share with our friend. Sometimes a person has the right personality for a friend, but would be in compatible as romantic partner. For example, my late husband and I were very good friends for a long time, but a romantic relationship was completely impossible because of religious views.

simeneta_two · 2021-10-01T18:02:57+00:00

I have female friends who I love hanging out with and are my ride and dies, but I don’t would not stand living with or seeing all the time.

Yes part of being friendzoned is a lack of sexual attraction. But as other people have pointed out there is a much greater degree of sharing your life with someone in a serious relationship than even a close friendship. It’s entirely possible to completely vibe with someone and even be attracted to them while not wanting something long term.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-01T18:16:29+00:00

Yeah it sucks when you like someone and they don’t like you the same way, and it happens to women too. If you have any emotional intelligence you will be able to set healthy boundaries and maintain a friendship with that person but at a safer distance.

poppy_blu · 2021-10-01T18:27:09+00:00

Are you asking why people don’t always fall in love with people who love them back?

How old are you?

TheElusivePeacock · 2021-10-01T19:58:03+00:00

Friendzone is an imaginary place men put themselves in when a woman isn’t attracted to them, so they think if they act like her friend, she’ll overlook her lack of physical and sexual attraction and have sex with him. Doesn’t work. It’s stupid.

The rare piece the guy doesn’t have? She’s not attracted to him. Physically or sexually. And also women seem to look at friendships differently than men. We don’t really treat guy friends a certain way hoping to fuck. We don’t think “wow we had a great time hanging as friends, time to blow him.” It seems a lot of men on here cannot wrap their heads around friendship with a woman that somehow doesn’t lead to sex. We’re friends for friendship.

Ruben_the_Fish · 2021-10-01T17:30:05+00:00

If you as a guy had a guy friend who vibes with you and you get along great, why not date him and "reward" his good traits? Oh right, because you are not sexually attracted to him. Duh.

quabbicoo · 2021-10-01T17:38:45+00:00

The “friend zone” doesn’t exist.

I’m compatible with all of my male friends. We became friends for the purpose of being platonic friends. If one of my male friends develops unreciprocated romantic feelings, that doesn’t mean he’s in the “friend zone” any more than that means he put me in the “relationship zone.” At this time, we’re no longer compatible because we have different goals for the relationship (platonic v. romantic).

I’ve had male friends in the past tell me that they were attracted to me and needed to “take a break” from our friendship so their feelings aren’t hurt and I absolutely respect this. If you’re the one who develops romantic feelings that aren’t requited, it’s your responsibility to either push them aside and continue the friendship or end it.

Many of my male friends are objectively physically attractive (to me) and some are not physically attractive (to me), it’s not really that their missing anything on paper.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-10-01T18:24:05+00:00

Surely, you also have friends who you don't want to be in a relationship with. Even if you're compatible on a personality level, people might not have certain traits that a potential partner personally finds hot. Also, it's hardly like all men with female friends are being "friendzoned" - it's likely they don't want to date most of their long-term friends either.

KatyPurgeOrgy · 2021-10-01T21:08:46+00:00

Because ugly

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WretchdFlesh_Redeemd · 2021-10-01T19:48:24+00:00

The friend one is when a girl enjoys your company but doesn’t find you genes good enough to pass on to her overall.

The friend zone is straight up disrespectful. Don’t allow yourself to be there unless it’s on your terms. If you want to be with her and she puts you there, leave. She just told you you’re genetic trash.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2021-10-01T18:15:41+00:00

Just because YOU think you're compatible with someone doesn't mean THEY think they're compatible with YOU.

chalkandapples · 2021-10-01T19:04:31+00:00

No one said only personality matters for relationships. I haven't heard or seen a single person make that assertion.

Personality is very important, but it's one out of multiple factors that contributes to romantic interests. I'm sure personality isn't the only factor for men dating women too.

As for the friendzone, this only happens if someone isn't honest with themselves. I had a guy I liked, and he said he's not ready for a relationship yet but is ok staying friends. The answer is obviously no, I already had friends, I approached him because I wanted a relationship. Why would I want to stick around a friend that made me feel heartache from a rejection when I can hang out with my other friends that don't? I don't know why guys get into this type of relationship.

Also, romantic partner for me is basically close friend + romantic interest. I can have many friends that I "vibe" well with, are great people, ambitious, treats everyone well (not just girls), these are basic qualities of a good person and friend. But I will also need to have romantic interest in that person (so he needs to meet other romantic standards). And if there are multiple good people and I have romantic interests in, I only get 1 partner so I have to select the one I feel the best about. So there's several steps between friend and boyfriend. Romantic interest doesn't always build just because you put a guy and girl in close proximity and they get along.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-10-01T19:26:47+00:00

Two things

Either a) you weren't sexually/physically attractive.

Or b) you were a friend too long. Most relationships that came from friends are more like "we hung around a few times and then got together" . Not people being friends for so long. At some point you're most likely in the friend box and you're not getting out.

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throwaway3649_ · 2021-10-02T08:10:46+00:00

Incels with good personality.

JazziestCabbage · 2021-10-11T04:51:38+00:00

The friendzone is just part of life and even women get friendzoned. When I make friends with someone, it isn't with the expectation of dating. I find it super deceitful when people pretend to be a friend but then disappear as soon as its made clear a relationship isn't in the cards. I like honesty and self control

Title	How Do You Explain The Friend Zone?
Author	BlackGriffin_1
Upvotes	0
Comments	99
Date	October 1, 2021 5:02 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pzca9q/how_do_you_explain_the_friend_zone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-explain-the-friend-zone.1073133 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073133

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