Yes I am a man making a post that criticizes men. I am also making assumptions about women's behavior. I recognized the baggage this entails.

A common complaint from men (and my past self) is how cold, unapproachable and distant women can be. Believing that meet-cutes are realistic and that finding a partner is something you have to put a ton of energy into is directly contradicted by lived experiences of women who seem to never respond in the way you were hoping for. Not only that, online alternatives have been thoroughly enshittified and actively get in your way when it comes to meeting the very few women on them; and finally, at least in my experience, eligible single women within my age bracket do not seem very eager to go out and put themselves in positions to meet other eligible single men.

Why? It's because many women are scared of men. More women than you think have had very bad experiences with men and those bad experiences are typically pre-cursored with romantic/sexual interest from the man. Many women are just operating on a "better to be safe than sorry" protocol when it comes to engaging with new people. Even if you have no bad intention, showing romantic/sexual interest at the wrong time could just prompt her to burn it all down just to be safe.

This dynamic can create a lot of very very bad assumptions from the man's part. It's very easy to contrast your experiences with that of whatever you've seen on Instagram or whatever of attractive men and the women that lust over them. You could assume that she is not only unattracted to you, but actively hates you. Of course your reaction to this perspective can easily lead you down to "the pipeline". It also can be directed inward, where you feel like a disgusting troglodyte that is unworthy of love.

My point is to simply present the reality that the vast majority of problems have "Women are scared of men and need a ton of information and safety reassurances before they feel comfortable with them" as a core component. There are a ton of misleading assumptions men make when they fail to acknowledge this.