The problem with assuming men can’t get dates because they’re “not nice enough and misogynistic” is that nobody acts moral 100% of the time.

dicklaurent97 · 2024-12-18T10:39:45+00:00

Tons of misogynistic men are beloved by women.

Lightinthebottle7 · 2024-12-18T10:26:38+00:00

There is not being perfect and making mistakes, and there is being an asshole.

Nobody is expecting you to act moral a 100% of the time. But they do expect you to not be an asshole.

I constantly make mistakes, I accidentally offended people, said and did things that would probably make a twitter mob come after me some day. Yet, "not being reasonably nice enough IRL" and "being misogynistic" are 2 accusations that would not really stick.

"Yes he thinks women are lesser beings, and behaves terribly with people, but sure nobody is perfect" is not a functional argument.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-12-18T11:08:08+00:00

The problem with assuming men can’t get dates because they’re “not nice enough and misogynistic” is that it is just a cover-up for majority of women who are afraid of losing moral brownie points for openly stating that guy in question is just physically unattractive.

pentatonicartichoke · 2024-12-18T10:47:14+00:00

Nobody is perfect and nobody expects anyone to be perfect.

If a person's got a habit of trash talking people, especially in front of someone they just met, they're not only imperfect, they're unpleasant. Unpleasant people aren't generally perceived as attractive.

Massive_Storm7370 · 2024-12-18T10:25:22+00:00

There is a difference between being a bit grumpy and narky and saying awful things. Who wants to date a nasty person?

Siukslinis_acc · 2024-12-18T11:01:03+00:00

Men can't get dates because they are purauing women who aren't attracted to them.

Equal_Connect · 2024-12-18T11:03:41+00:00

The funny part is a lot of married or taken guys act like the biggest incels i know.

RoseyButterflies · 2024-12-18T11:12:09+00:00

I think it's more about personality to be honest rather than morality.

Though not gonna lie, some moral related stuff guys have said has turned me off them.

SuckingMuffin · 2024-12-18T11:49:47+00:00

Being nice or even a good person has very little to do with dating success.

It's about being attractive. If you're attractive, you can be a bad person and still succeed.

If you're attractive, you can be a good person and still succeed.

If you're unattractive, you can't succeed.

Outside of extremes, your morals have very little to do with dating success.

Pleasant-Speed2003 · 2024-12-18T10:22:53+00:00

If the way you speak and your first impressions come of bad to others they will not want to date you. Thats why its pointed out. The way you speak can tell people about the things you think (to a degree) and getting dates isnt about your true self, its about first impressions.

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Immediate_Fig4760 · 2024-12-18T10:56:23+00:00

"Not nice enough and misogynistic"

What the heck does that mean?

Not nice enough? Who are these women? If their strangers why bow to them. Their like 5ft4 100lbs soaking wet. Misogynistic? So if you don't agree that equality is good that means a man hates women even though women and men are not equals in reality?

EetinAintCheetin · 2024-12-18T11:11:18+00:00

This has nothing to do with morality and I don’t know why you guys keep harping on this. There are actual studies pointing out that men with criminal records tend to have more sexual partners and more children fathered than their strait laced counterparts.

On the other hand, being a complainer, especially when it comes to dating, is the most self defeating, self sabotaging thing you can do. It literally tells women you are a pussy who can’t get laid.

So you have to sit down and make a decision what is more important to you. Solving your girl problem OR getting women to admit that men might have dating problems after incessantly nagging them about it. You can only have one or the other because they are mutually exclusive.

Livid-Log7463 · 2024-12-18T11:40:09+00:00

Not being nice enough isn’t the reason the vast majority of the time and when women claim it is it’s because they want try to show that their attraction not a narrow and similar metric it is but instead some moral and virtuous way to filter out “bad” men.

Overarching_Chaos · 2024-12-18T11:16:57+00:00

The thing is why would men who are successful be misogynistic? Unsuccessful men become resentful from facing constant rejection which turns into misogyny a lot of the time. So the narrative, that men are unsuccessful because they are misogynistic is counterintuitive.

SayuriKitsune · 2024-12-18T11:21:23+00:00

because misogyny can torture, abuse and kill women, that's why. Why should we take the risk? Nu uh .

Its always Women should be forgiving instead of lets hold men accountable for being bad people.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-12-18T12:17:16+00:00

There’s a major difference between not being perfect/not always being nice, and being a misogynist (or some other flavor of bigot) and occasionally letting it slip. One is a reaction to circumstances, while the other is a core part of your beliefs and attitudes and not something you can’t file under “hehe oopsie, nobody is perfect!”

Now I would agree that most of the time, this isn’t why men can’t get dates, because that’s more about first impressions, which are just a combo of how you look and your social skills. The obvious exception would be in OLD when some guys can’t seem to hide their misogyny or general unpleasantness long enough to get a date. Otherwise, it’s more of an issue when it comes to maintaining relationships.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-12-18T11:02:23+00:00

Congratulations on arguing against a point no one is making. No one is saying that the reason why men are single is because they are misogynistic.

But when they make misogynistic comments and can't get laid then no one is surprised. You can excuse it, but it definitely heavily influences their lack of luck. And claiming that it doesn't is just odd.

No one is saying that you need to be perfect to deserve love or get it. But if you can't seem to find a partner then you maybe need to fix some problems you have. And what the problems are depends per person.

AreOut · 2024-12-18T11:03:31+00:00

nobody really assumes that, it's just women gaslighting so they could make themselves look virtuous

the most radical feminist would rather date a "funny" toxic guy than a boring good guy, ya know ya can't negotiate attraction and all that

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