Why do guys downgrade?

EugeneCezanne · 2026-06-02T00:50:40+00:00

Why do some guys leave the girl they think is perfect for them just to settle down with someone that's below their standards?

This is not a common thing, especially among not-super-young adults. If anything, the opposite is far more common: men stay in relationships they don't even like because the woman seems like the best he can do on paper.

However, keep in mind that just because you THINK someone is perfect for you doesn't mean you FEEL like your relationship is perfect. So what looks to others like a downgrade may be a massive upgrade in terms of his personal experience.

growframe · 2026-06-02T00:39:32+00:00

This feels like one of those things where a member of a gender says one thing and then it gets miscontrued into some sort of urban legend about the entire gender.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-06-02T00:26:00+00:00

A stale sex life or dead bedroom, maybe? My father cheated on his blonde wife with some blonde maid. I’m guessing he was just bored.

I am similar to him. However, I try to be more thankful for what I have, because I know my life will go to shit if I just continuously try and grab for more & more without stopping to smell the roses. Some similar blonde woman will always be around to sleep with me in online dating around Valentines Day, if I get bored. I have the same feelings as he does, but I attempt to translate that energy into making the woman I’m currently with happier by spending some quality time with her.

Zoya_The_Destroyah · 2026-06-02T00:32:10+00:00

I think your guy friend is wrong. It’s really not coming for guys to break up with a woman who checks all their boxes then settle with the next woman that comes along.

mobjack · 2026-06-02T00:47:11+00:00

He obviously didn't think she was perfect for him if he initiated the break up.

He could have thought he could have done better but struggled.ore after the breakup.

He could have realized that looks aren't everything and found someone who is compatible personality wise.

throwaway54734 · 2026-06-02T00:27:19+00:00

You have one view of a relationship from outside, each person within it has another. I don't think people break up for "no reason", the reason may not obvious looking in from the outside.

Can't say I've ever seen this happen myself - when some dude I know ended a relationship, he could articulate a reason why.

throwaway73737828 · 2026-06-02T00:33:16+00:00

Ive never seen that in relationship context, but for sex I can see it. It gets boring sometimes to just being with one girl to have sex. So we just change it for a short time to experience something different. But for relationship context, that doesn’t happen often, we don’t ditch a 10 to be with a 4 for no reason. For sex we do it sometimes to feel change but for relationships nah.

AutisticRats · 2026-06-02T00:38:13+00:00

Most of the time men have a reason that is hidden from other people when they have a breakup. But presuming the relationship was actually healthy, there is one reason for it that comes to mind.

It is possible the guy really enjoyed the infatuation phase of the relationship and longs for it again. So he breaks up and starts a new relationship. Once that one starts to stabilize, he realizes this is just how relationships work and that new relationship energy can't last forever. So then he settles down.

DiligentRope · 2026-06-02T01:21:49+00:00

Downgrade according to whom?

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-06-02T01:46:16+00:00

The “no reason” is sex. He begins to realize she’s not all that desirous of him and it won’t get better. Usually happens a few years into an early LTR.

Ill-Investigator9546 · 2026-06-02T00:31:48+00:00

Because women think they are better than their looksmatch and thats how they treat the men too, like they are better than them.

When a man is with a woman where he knows hes a catch for her, everything is MUCH easier for him.

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Proudvow · 2026-06-02T01:12:37+00:00

Maybe they're addicted to variety until a certain age. So the woman he ends up staying with basically just won a game of musical chairs.

New-Concentrate935 · 2026-06-02T01:23:45+00:00

This is not common, not even close.

DietTyrone · 2026-06-02T01:29:46+00:00

Why do some guys leave the girl they think is perfect for them just to settle down with someone that's below their standards?

How do you know he thought the previous girl was perfect? Like you said, it wouldn't make sense for him to leave if he actually truly felt that way. As always, actions speak louder than words. If he left it's because he didn't feel his partner was that perfect. Had to be some flaws he didn't want to deal with long term.

Only exception I can think of is maybe a guy is in a point in his life where he just doesn't want to settle down and wants to date around more, and this has nothing to do with whether the girl he's with is a good or bad girlfriend. Some guys go through a phase like this but not all.

Guy meets a girl he adores but breaks up with her for no reason

There was a reason, you just don't know what the reason is yet.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-06-02T02:01:45+00:00

Standards are not rigid, and people don't leave happy relationships.

I have no idea what your friend is referring to.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-06-02T03:59:25+00:00

This is just an example of having so many fewer options, most men don’t get much of a choice in who they end up with.

Zabadoodude · 2026-06-02T04:43:29+00:00

No guy breaks up with a girl he adores and thinks is perfect for him. There is something in that relationship he doesn't like. He might downgrade because he can't find another relationship as good as he though he would, or he finds another relationship that has what he is looking for and doesn't feel it's a downgrade for him.

Ohnoes_in_distress · 2026-06-02T07:19:12+00:00

Guy meets a girl he adores but breaks up with her

Perhaps she didn't adore him in the similar way? Reciprocation is quite important.

Neverending_Danding · 2026-06-02T08:24:51+00:00

> Edit: I realized that what I'm referring to is a "the one that got away" type of scenario.

But that's not what "the one that got away" is? "The one" refers yo a girl that was great, but men himself fucked it up.

N_Count_Council · 2026-06-02T01:07:32+00:00

Because women treat dating their looksmatch like they're doing him a favor and it's fucking exhausting

AlarmingToe8503 · 2026-06-02T02:39:48+00:00

Dating a someone too attractive can be kinda scary. My first girlfriend was very attractive, and for a long chunk of our relationship I was super stressed out about her breaking up with me. "Downgrading" is an easy way to feel more emotionally secure, is my guess.

ImaginaryDimension74 · 2026-06-02T00:44:34+00:00

Men, like women don’t typically break up for no reason. Sometimes a woman who is fun to date isn’t what a man wants for marriage.
Men often settle for less when marrying because society is hypergamous. Many men feel they either need to marry down or stay single.

Sharp-Wonder3622 · 2026-06-02T00:21:19+00:00

* One guy says he does something

Woman Brain: * Why do all men do this?

Title	Why do guys downgrade?
Author	fuego1189
Upvotes	0
Comments	47
Date	June 2, 2026 12:14 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tuaoen/why_do_guys_downgrade/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-guys-downgrade.1581867 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581867

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