Cat calling

Campaschristmas · 2018-12-30T17:05:24+00:00

I think a lot of it is exaggerated. We’ve all had it happen once or twice, but it’s far from a routine, daily thing. I’ve seen men whoop and holler with their friends, only to have the woman with me complain they were “catcalling.” They were literally just having fun and probably didn’t even see us.

As for being followed, it’s common in my neck of the woods for women to complain (and post on Facebook) about being followed in Walmart. Honestly now, when I shop I frequently see the same people over and over again in the aisles, not because anyone was “following,” but because we started shopping at the same time!

skeleflor · 2018-12-30T18:20:10+00:00

I live in a major suburb of a major East Coast US metropolis. Off the top of my head, I can remember being catcalled exactly twice. Both remembered instances were mere whistling; flattering enough, not offensive or intrusive of my space.

I do think the perceived incidence of catcalling is likely exaggerated online, and likely more prevalent in certain areas than in others. While I've rarely been harassed just walking down the street, I have had some frightening encounters on public transit (buses, trains), including having one man try to follow me home (I was protected by the bus driver), and one man who tried to freakin' kidnap me at the bus stop and physically put me on to another bus to go home with him. As I'm only somewhere between 5'2" and 5'3", petite and slim, he was literally able to just grab me and pick me up. He had been making pleasant, normal conversation with me at the stop and when his bus arrived he said he didn't want the conversation to end and that I was going home with him and that was that. I'm not sure I have ever been more physically scared in my life. Fortunately, I struggled free. No bystander did anything to intervene. Now that's real harassment. I'd rather endure being catcalled any day.

mado55 · 2018-12-30T18:33:28+00:00

I think it's mainly dependent on where you live. I live in a middle-class rural / suburban area where walking from location to location is unheard of, so naturally it doesn't exactly create opportunity for catcalling. I've only been catcalled in my neighborhood maybe once or twice in the 20 years I've lived here. However, when I began traveling to cities and walking around without my family, I got catcalled much more regularly. Its all really dependent on where you live.

lovin44 · 2018-12-30T21:19:12+00:00

Like others have mentioned, I think where you live influences the frequency of occurrences. I imagine women who live in cities get it more often than those who live in more rural or suburban areas.

Personally, I catch men not-so-subtly checking me out all the time, but I have a pretty intense bitch face, and it doesn't usually result in being approached. If I do get cat called, I ignore it because I feel like most men who are going out of their way to call out to a woman in the street are just trying to elicit a reaction anyway. If a guy does come face to face with me to compliment me, then I simply thank him, and we can go about our days.

Spazzy19 · 2018-12-30T22:05:47+00:00

Ive been catcalled numerous times but generally by people driving by while I’m walking. I just smile and wave. I’ve had several men pass me and just say “looking good, girl!” Or the like, and I say thanks and carry on. The only rude instance I encountered was years ago driving back to my college and this car full of boys pulled up next to me and one of them made the universal “eat you out” gesture toward me and I ignored him.

Generally I just accept them as compliments, but I can see why women get irritated if the “compliment” is really vulgar or tasteless and intrusive.

METALLlCA · 2018-12-30T18:15:44+00:00

Remember that viral video where a woman walked through NYC for ten hours to compile a 1:56 video comprised mostly of greetings and compliments which were likened to catcalling?

I think that’s how.

Don’t get me wrong. If you watch the video, there were some legitimate catcalls (maybe 1%) that I’d say were over the line. But in today’s world, saying “hello” to a female passerby is considered catcalling.

MissNietzsche · 2018-12-30T19:28:23+00:00

I was catcalled a lot when I was an early teen (imagine a 13 year old with the tits of a grown woman).

It rarely happens to me anymore, though that might be in part due to the fact that I dress very modestly now. About 2 years ago, I was walking downtown of my city with a loose, long-sleeved shirt and spandex booty shorts on, and it was one of the scariest times of my life. I met up with my guy friend later on that day, and I had two separate cars honk on me, and my friend said, "It's as if I'm not even here." Now, I've worn shorts like that around my college very often with no issue, so I think it also depends on the population.

I'd have to walk down the same location with the same outfit on to test it out for a second time for more info, but I'm not willing to go through that experience again. I hated it, and I always try to minimize the risk of getting raped. And plus I have a boyfriend now, so I can't purposely do that anymore even if I did want to.

fourfivesix · 2018-12-30T18:09:06+00:00

I got asked at a stop light by a guy in the car next to me if I needed a husband, I told him “I’ve got one, thanks!”

Seemed pretty harmless to me and honestly pretty funny. Does anyone take him up on that offer? I think that and maybe one other time in my life I’ve been “catcalled” although I’m not even sure the above qualifies

Zegiknie · 2018-12-30T16:56:19+00:00

Where do you live? There are huge regional differences. Where I grew up, only immigrants catcall.

butterflyhalo · 2018-12-30T23:50:42+00:00

I’m in NY/NYC area and get catcalled like every other day. Once I got catcalled twice in 2 minutes by two separate passing cars. Honestly it’s just hilarious to me at this point. It doesn’t bother me anymore. Idk what factors into it, just providing data point. It’s definitely location related I’d say

DatasianAssssss · 2018-12-31T10:22:45+00:00

Whenever im out and wearing a normal short and tshirt ill get cat called, if im wearing school uniform ill get cat called , if im all dolled up ill get cat called but if im walking with my guy friends i dont get cat call.

So in conclusion i get cat call everyday if im outside and walking.

Idk why u dont experience it but your lucky lol. I hate being looked at tbh, i hate it specially if they touch me and they would pretend its accident and say "sorry" as if it will wash away my thoughts of wanting to smack their faces but i just had to endure and sometimes end up blaming myself bc im wearing a short (its really hot outside) but most of the time im just used to have poker face.

RubyWooToo · 2019-01-01T04:10:39+00:00

It depends on where you live. It’s not PC to admit this, but men in certain ethnic, urban enclaves will catcall or follow any piece of ass in their vicinity, even a mother pushing a baby carriage.

actuallynotreal92 · 2018-12-30T22:04:39+00:00

I think this depends HIGHLY on location.

I used to live in a large US city, in the top five population-wise.

When I was living in a yuppie sort of neighborhood in that city close to a sports stadium, college campus, and a popular bar area men would yell something vulgar, follow me for a block or so, or just aggressively try to get me to stop and talk to them at least once or twice a month.

Interestingly enough, when I was living in a "bad" area of the same city (the neighborhood was literally on the tv show gangland), I didn't really get catcalled at all. Men would say hello but weren't vulgar at all and wouldn't take it past that.

In the current city I live in, which is still urban but much smaller, it happens two or three times a year, and pretty much only when I'm near a bar or event of some sort.

scarlettbae · 2018-12-30T22:06:27+00:00

There’s a time and place for everything.

When I was twelve at the mall and a considerably older man cat called me? Disgusting.

Now, at twenty four, when I wear my party clothes and am bar hopping with friends? Expected. Sometimes, I cat call them back.

When I’m walking down the street in my work clothes? Doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I just ignore it. I’m a grown woman with better things to worry about it.

moonchildcountrygirl · 2018-12-31T03:21:10+00:00

It depends where you live. It was hardly ever a problem where I grew up in suburbia and in college at a big school in Massachusetts I’d get hit on but no one yelled at me or made me feel unsafe. BUT when I moved to a neighborhood in NYC synonymous with getting shot it was rampant. Daily. Sometimes super aggressive, sometimes they’d follow me. It happened in foreign countries as well, sometimes harmless old men sitting on the stoops, but young guys in groups especially at night were SCARY.

konamoo42 · 2018-12-31T21:22:28+00:00

If someone is following you, never go to your destination. Go somewhere public and get help. I had someone follow me home when I was in my 20s. I got inside and called a cop friend. He said “never do that again.” Never forgot that advice.

As for cat calls, I think they are fun. Aggressive behavior is something completely different.

queenvalerie · 2019-01-02T04:04:12+00:00

I get catcalled on a daily basis. I don't dress in a way that's revealing, I just have a nice body so everything I wear looks good. It's really as annoying as "they" make it seem. I don't mean the more innocent flirtations, I understand that people are looking for love and relationships and just because I'm taken doesn't mean they know that. I'm talking about people entering my personal space and having obvious intent. I live in a suburb but it's becoming increasingly like the city, so that's probably why. It's always been a part of life for me, and it gets really annoying. There are certain shops (clothing stores, grocery stores, innocent stuff) that I stay away from because I get bothered there so often. I'm not some sort of Venus de Milo, don't get me wrong, so I don't get it either. I also work in retail so I see lots of people every day and it happens often.

lilghostpepper · 2019-01-02T22:24:54+00:00

It happens for me every time I leave the house, but I really believe that's because I'm a blonde white girl in a predominately black area so I stand out- even women randomly will come tell me that I'm "too pretty to not smile" and stuff that women say they're subjected to by men on a daily basis. It's about the culture you're in.. When I'm in Boston or Denver or Salt Lake, nobody says anything ever. When you stand out people generally want to pick on you. In addition to that my city just has a lot of crack heads on the street and even good neighborhoods are bad. You can go to a grocery store in the best neighborhood and still a random mentally ill man will follow you in and start asking you to marry him (it's actually happened to 2 of my friends). You might be in a place where people are affluent enough to where they have something to do rather than just walk the streets bored looking for women to harass.

houseplantlover54 · 2018-12-30T22:01:35+00:00

I lived in a bigger city and had to walk to work and walk home really late at night and some days it happened multiple times a day or had men follow me to my work. I mean its not that intrusive if your carrying pepper spray why worry. It might depend where you are and it probably helped that i looked like a dumb kid forever.

keto-tx-gal · 2018-12-30T22:50:21+00:00

You pretty much described me here. I’ve been catcalled probably once or twice and followed to a red light once. Perhaps it depends on where you live and where you go.

My parents kept me sheltered and I wasn’t allowed to go really anywhere. Met my husband at 18 straight out of high school and married him after couple years.

79seconds · 2018-12-31T01:14:49+00:00

This happens a lot, I live in a very populated area. I've learned to walk quickly while using my phone/music as a way to show I'm distracted.

SyfruitCamelia · 2019-01-01T17:41:43+00:00

Interesting perspective.

When you don't get catcalled you feel unwanted and ugly, but if you do get catcalled you feel angry and insulted.

What exactly is it you want? ( I already know what you want, I just want to hear whatever you choose to say)

jvmes_ · 2018-12-30T16:51:32+00:00

"Hey baby, looking good!"

Title	Cat calling
Author	muabirdie
Upvotes	22
Comments	60
Date	December 30, 2018 4:50 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/aaxf08/cat_calling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/cat-calling.68030 https://theredarchive.com/post/68030

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