For context, I have been married 7 years and we do have children, and we both work.

My husband has cheated on me once, which I forgave and have never mentioned again. I know he is human.

When he tried to do it a second time but got caught (long story short: he let our son borrow his ipad, he brought it to me frozen with a ton of tabs open including the messages app), I was very upset about it. I do not want to deal with a future full of worrying about this constantly happening.

Since then, I have brought up things that I thought he might consider and are more fair to both of us. He told me that he had been with married couples when he was younger, before he met me, so I asked him if he occasionally wanted to do something like that. To my surprise, the suggestion made him angry. He later clarified that he does not want to share me. I can understand that, but now I don’t know how to handle his behaviors.

I just need things to be aboveboard. Even business partners understand that you cannot repeatedly scam the other party and expect it to still work.

He has not been open to discussing the subject of how he would like his apparent “appetite” to be handled going forward. He wants it to just be “water under the bridge”, but that is much easier for him to say than me. He doesn’t have to worry about me, but I apparently have to worry about him.