Too conservative for my man?

Inside_Ad_7292 · 2021-09-19T02:09:25+00:00

I don't personally think that you have to be on the exact same page as someone to have a healthy, solid relationship. But you do need to be reading the same book. Obviously this guy is in a different library. It sounds like this has been a fun fling, but was not meant to last. I think you're right in thinking that dating someone more likeminded would be a good idea.

Je_Suis_EnRetard · 2021-09-19T04:30:57+00:00

Maybe I'm just an old Southerner going in the slow lane on the information super highway, but from what it sounds like you accidentally found yourself involved in one of them new age lesbian relationships.

I reckon you should get a cat.

sinisterforces · 2021-09-19T04:15:57+00:00

I was dumped by my ex fiancé because I was to “conservative” (and bear in mind, I wasn’t even open on my views, for a while then I leaned somewhat left but more in the sense “everyone can chose what they want to I just happen to have a conservative personality”) in my personality for his mother’s taste. With that in mind the fact that he was so extremely affected by modern liberalism in his mindset and the influence his mother had, it would have become an issue regardless. But here my personality was the issue that made him dump me because his mother wanted to.

But yes, this exists. You need to have a serious talk with him because I wasted many years, my early half of my twenties, I felt deceived and gave so much for this, only to be left and feel like I was fooled. Don’t fall into this. Also of course I was less aware back then.

Shipbldr2000 · 2021-09-19T10:34:37+00:00

There is a time to walk away and there is a time to run.

Name calling? Really? -You have a man-child on your hands.

Go get yourself a man. You are not going to fix this situation, you can only delay the day of reconing.

yourbadformylungs · 2021-09-19T04:24:25+00:00

Out right calling you a Nazi, wow sounds like projection. Name calling is not okay.

My bf is more moderate and I am conservative. We’ve been together for almost a year and live together. Its been going great, we generally get through most arguments pretty smoothly and I am grateful for that. We can also have pretty healthy debates and not get angry at each other. He has his conservative values and I even have a few liberal values.

I was very forward about being conservative when we met. I’m curious, were you forward about being more conservative minded socially or politically from the get go?

Underground-anzac-99 · 2021-09-19T02:51:01+00:00

Could you give us some examples so we can better respond?

JadedByEntropy · 2021-09-19T06:09:04+00:00

Quarentine is a test run for retirement. This is not the person you want berating you in your old age about everything you did wrong over 60 years and blaming you for spending the last of his money.

CountTheBees · 2021-09-19T07:55:23+00:00

Extremely relevant theory repost you should read.

Underground-anzac-99 · 2021-09-19T10:52:01+00:00

By the way I had a similar but different experience w my ex. We would watch the news and he’d yell at it but while he’d say “it’s so nice to be with a woman I can actually watch the news with” if I had anything that looked like an even slightly different opinion there was hell to pay.

Why doesn’t someone shoot Trump? Because then Mike Pence is in charge and historically few political assassinations have yielded good results. Fuck, why do you always have to contradict me, why can’t you ever agree and why can’t we be on the same page!

Slammed door

I tried the, I don’t know whatever you think thing but then he accused me of being boring.

He wanted a strong independent woman who agreed w his every thought, feeling and preference before he’d uttered them. It was exhausting and I’m so much happier alone.

ubcthrowaway1996 · 2021-09-19T01:55:18+00:00

he sounds really immature

dofneneh · 2021-09-19T04:18:26+00:00

I fear you are too mature and intelligent for him.

Milkie444 · 2021-09-19T16:32:06+00:00

I changed from dating a liberal to dating a conservative and the new relationship was so much better to be with someone whose politics matched my views. No more political fights thank goodness.

CryptidCutiepie · 2021-09-19T05:35:36+00:00

I just wanna know where y’all are finding all these progressive liberal guys at? Lmao I’m openly liberal/leftist but for some reason always seem to attract super conservative men, much to my dismay, as it inevitably leads to conflict or arguments since we’re never on the same page on any issue. How important having aligned values/political views is varies from person to person, so you just have to ask yourself, how important is it to you? Could you see yourself raising children with someone you’re not in agreement with, who might instill your children with ways of thinking that you don’t agree with or condone?

RaineVIII · 2021-09-19T16:36:57+00:00

To be saying hurtful things to you over politics is already a red flag. Did you talk to him about this? Communicate with him. See where his thoughts are. It really is easier if you find someone who shares your values, but if they're opposite, they should be open minded and respectful of your own. That goes both ways ofc. If his tantrums are gettin worse and you can't seem to work it out, I say break up with him

Pycnostyle · 2021-09-19T16:54:58+00:00

Short answer: I think you need to take a step back and ask yourself what kind of relationship you want. Only once you know that, will you know if your BF is the man to build it with.

Long answer: So far, I count two things your relationship has going for it:

You are emotionally attached to him ("I love him very much"), and
The sex is good.

Those are both good things, no doubt. But attachment, you can form with anyone through enough shared experiences; and good sex can be had once you know what you like and have someone to try new things with.

What really stood out to me here is how you phrased your living situation: "I am the financial bread winner and the house we live in is mine." Considering you've been together since before Trump was elected, that's an awfully long time to have not really set up any joint plans. Maybe that's what you want from him, a glorified house pet who's good in the sack. If so, great! But that feeling you're getting that you are "outgrowing" the relationship? That's what it's about. Your partner isn't an equal. Neither in your mind, nor in his.

In RPW, y'all like to talk about finding a captain for your ship. I know that implies that the man will be the captain, but I wouldn't hold it against anyone if their relationship worked differently and the woman were the captain instead. Does your ship have a captain? Does it even have a rudder?

Circling back to the short answer, you need to take responsibility for your life and your needs, which starts with figuring what those needs are. Only then will you know if your BF gets to remain on the ship or if he needs to walk the plank.

maraney · 2021-09-19T16:58:44+00:00

I’m my experience, having dated on both sides of the political spectrum… I think it comes down to a difference in morals and values at the end of the day. It’s very hard to be married to someone with different political beliefs. Are there people who do it? Sure. But ask yourself, “is this someone I can raise my kids with?” Because what happens when a big issue comes up with your child and you have fundamentally different ways of handling it according to your values?

Now, I have a ton of liberal friends and we love each other. We have lively (but respectful) debates, we tease each other, and I enjoy their company so much and value their opinions. But I don’t have to live with them and I don’t have to raise a child with them. Once I started dating people who shared my values (not who agreed with everything, but who shared my fundamental values), I found my husband. And he’s truly my best friend and he has my back as much as I have his. I have also noticed, and this isn’t always the case, that conservative men tend to be more willing to lead the house. This was important to me.

Also, how can you feel safe in a relationship with someone who calls you a Nazi? One of the worst things you can call someone… You said yourself he’s trying to hurt you. That doesn’t sound like a good leader to me. Only you know what you can and can’t live with, but I don’t think you’d be asking this question if you didn’t already have an idea in your heart.

amadexodus · 2021-09-19T18:05:04+00:00

I'm not going to comment on the age difference, since I don't know how old either of you are, or how long you've been together.

Sometimes our fights end in him telling me I’m a bad person and a deplorable or calling me a straight up Nazi for my views. Which we both know is obviously untrue, he’s just trying to be hurtful.

You need to break up with him. Assuming your end goal is marriage, the number one thing you need to have in common is values. Speaking as somebody who once dated a much more liberal man (a couple years older than me), the red flags are showing themselves. You'll end up keeping your thoughts and beliefs to yourself -- having done this during summer 2020 myself, I can tell you that it's incredibly painful and isolating.

I am the financial bread winner and the house we live in is mine. While he used to spoil me with his love, I’m starting to wonder what I am getting out of this relationship these days and what he is actually bringing to the table.

I’m scared I’m outgrowing this relationship even though I love him very much.

The number two thing you need to have in this relationship is respect for your man. If you're looking at him this way, and feeling like you're outgrowing him, it's time to leave. You'll gradually lose respect for him (if you haven't already), and love w/o respect will turn into resentment. You're doing yourself and him a favor.

Believe me, I've been there. Our breakup came out of nowhere and completely gutted me. The pain and grief was unreal. But I found out after we broke up that I was entirely wrong about his views on sex, male-female relations, various beliefs I thought he had, even his faith. We were not compatible for marriage -- I was just too blind to notice it because we were basically best friends. I'm now dating a man who, though a few years younger than me, has been a massive improvement in every way. We share values, we align politically, we have the same faith, he's comfortable with gender roles in a way that my ex was clearly not, the sex is a million times better. He's also just more emotionally mature and has attained a greater level of self-mastery than my ex. I would trust him to save me from a pack of wolves, no question, and I'm nuts about him.

tl;dr Break up with him, you can do better my dear. I'm so so sorry </3

Some_Milk · 2021-09-19T22:27:29+00:00

He sounds immature and can't accept your political views.

Seems the only thing he provides is company.

You can get good sex from conservative men too.

Are there more benefits to staying in this relationship?

If you've got a house and a job to provide for 2 people, you'd be more than fine if you were single.

TheBunk_TB · 2021-09-20T04:33:59+00:00

This sounds like he is using the conflict to have great sex on a recovery angle.

Or use his "hate" for things about you as highway towards sexual fulfillment

(Please note: I am unsure if the mods would allow me to use the more "saucy" language to describe this. Mods, help me out here? )

anonyree · 2021-09-20T05:33:50+00:00

Didn't seem like compatible, doesn't seem mature.. how much younger

Title	Too conservative for my man?
Author	K3Anny
Upvotes	18
Comments	42
Date	September 19, 2021 1:49 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/pqz0km/too_conservative_for_my_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/too-conservative-for-my-man.1075646 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075646

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