askTRP Megathread May 17

SJHammer · 2017-05-17T15:55:30+00:00

Getting frustrated with myself. I'm always showing too much interest or trying too hard after a girl shows interest in me. If I'm not into the girl that much, its never a problem. I maintain frame easily without even realizing it. I make zero to little effort. But with a girl I'm really into, as soon as she has shown interst in me, verbally or physically. It wont take long for me to try too hard. ask her on a date. text her...text quicker than I would a girl I dont care about. etc. This is sort of rant, but any advice would be appreciated. I know I need to keep busy, put that girl last. With a girl I'm not that interested in my thinking is : "I should probably text her by now" vs a girl I am interested in : "I think I've waited long enough to text her....I don't want to be rude and text her so long after" I'm sure I'm rationalizing or hamstering with my thought process on the 2nd one.

Salted_Pretzel · 2017-05-18T05:38:07+00:00

Is there going to be an updated RedPill handbook? There is the second edition which came out years ago. Any chance an updated one is in the works?

bossplayaintraining · 2017-05-17T13:29:36+00:00

If going from beta to alpha is as common as you guys make it out to be, how come I've never seen it in my own life?

From what I've seen, the alphas/Chads have either always been naturals, or had those traits anyway (e.g. athletic, good-looking, etc.) & just started becoming more outgoing. I've never seen a full-blown change from low to high SMV, from beta to alpha. Those who have tried usually slip back into their old beta habits within a month, either through subtle group pressure/getting lazy.

There is 1 guy that actually managed to make this happen; he was one of my close friends, & I told him to start keeping an approach log when he told me about his girl problems; he's been slaying ever since.

I'm 20, BTW.

MaxwellGaine · 2017-05-17T15:45:57+00:00

What are some good tips to be more approachable?

I've noticed that when I go to make eye contact with girls (e.g walking past), they tend to look down within a second and seem somewhat nervous/jarred.

Can't tell if that's because it comes across as creepy, or overly assertive, or something else. Would like for it to turn into conversation, but if they already knee-jerk looked away, escalating into conversation seems creepier.

Dudes usually stare back and then you can say a "hey what's up man" and befriend them, no problems there.

cantFindValidNam · 2017-05-17T13:57:30+00:00

I have been bullied way too much as a kid and I have lived with anxiety all my life. I constantly feel tension in my head and I become too stressed too often in social situations and I act stupidly as if I were in automated mode. I can't think clearly (guess this is what's called brain fog?). Only later on when I'm on my own and replay things in my head do I realize that I handled a situation terribly and I wasn't in control of my behavior. Does anyone relate to this and any pointers to how I should go about resolving this?

Before anyone asks, yes I have been lifting 4 months, but it's not helping much so far. It gave me some confidence but I still loose frame too often.

I also intend to sign up for Krav Maga classes which I hope will help me become more confident and relaxed.

PlottinOnTheLow · 2017-05-17T15:56:41+00:00

Long story short: ex broke up with me 5 months ago. Found TRP, met her at a club 3 months after we ghosted each other. Talked all night and thats was it. A week after, she text me that maybe we should meet and get things talked through (she broke up and the second later she left) i text her back that we'll talk when i come Home from back packing with my friends (2 months). Currently im back packing and im going home the 31st of Mai. However im starting to Think that meeting her again is not that good of an idea? When i was with her, i was the biggest beta ever (which is why she broke up) now i'm getting more and more confident about everything thanks to TRP. What should i do?? Obviously i'm still not over the beta phase as i'm writing this.. and bonus info: 5 months later i still Think about her every day..

juniorcoleman · 2017-05-17T15:21:39+00:00

Are these red flags to you?

Father committed suicide
Mother divorced twice
Suffers from emotional swings
High N count
Ex constantly texting her

What I am asking is that I know these are red flags (rhetorical question), but why do I have such oneitis over it? I know it's dumb.

Is it because I am just lingering on only the 'good' moments?
Or because I feel like my ego/confidence has been damaged?

I know I can grow the abundance mentality eventually, but how do you get over that step and just stop being a pussy? Is it a 'just do it' attitude and stop giving a fuck and move on? I just want t oget my confidence back on track.

SouloftheVoid · 2017-05-17T21:42:54+00:00

Anyone heard about /u/redpillschool resigning from congress for creating this subreddit?

awaken471 · 2017-05-17T13:55:07+00:00

Some time ago, I saw a post telling me that we shouldn't talk with others about anything related to:

1 - Your opinions of others; 2 - Shitty things others have done; 3 - What your plans and goals are; 4 - Who is doing what

I've been trying to follow these rules really hard, and I realized that 90% of my conversations (specially at work) revolved on them pretty hard.

Do you guys have any tips around this? Should I remain quiet most of the time at work or should I try to come up with other topics? I feel like I'm a very uninteresting person if I remain silent for so long

Thanks in advance

nambo127 · 2017-05-17T20:23:52+00:00

Well i recently got in a relationship about 6 months now. The honey moon phase is over so right now she is throwing loads of shit tests and more importantly she is breaking my frame even though i read a lot it is hard to know what to do.

An example from our conversation today we talked about why women choose older men and wise versa.

Her: women choose older men because they are much more mature, haha but you arent.

Me:... (i changed The topic cause i didnt want to seem butthurt)

Should i call her out on her bs? Sometimes she has a very hot temper and When i call her out she gets mad what should i do then? Or When we are in a call sometimes i Can talk and she doesnt pay attention.

listen_more · 2017-05-17T17:19:36+00:00

Ok dudes check it out. I have taken TRP to heart and swallowed the pill for a long while now. I have been lifting and working on my style game, keep a clean haircut and facial hair. I work on music and other creative pursuits, financially I am growing. I have it going on right now. So i started gaming girls, and this shit actually works. But who cares? I used to bang girls TRP style when I was 16-19 and didn't even know it until i learned retrospectively what i was doing (from this sub). But here I am and i have a few plates and its totally Unfulfilling. Like what do I do now? Whats the point when you can bang all the hot girls you want? Do i just need go focus on career, or hotter girls? I mean i thought once that being the dude who could fuck and was confident would make me happy. Wrong. What do TRP?

rafanadal14 · 2017-05-17T13:29:27+00:00

Who here has the best tinder profile, and what does it consist of? I'm leaving the country today and plan on using tinder as a way to find venues and events where I'm working. I'm just looking to get a general sense of what works best.

TissueBabies · 2017-05-17T16:16:30+00:00

I came back to TRP after a bit of a hiatus. What has happened to this sub? Endorsed Contributer content seems way down (comparatively) and mods don't seem to prune comments to keep value high anymore. There seem to be a lot of validation seeking/giving comments and a low amount of strategy and advice. How can I cut all of that out?

MaxwellGaine · 2017-05-17T17:26:33+00:00

Abundance mentality - forget her, who knows, maybe that'll trigger her interest, maybe not, you won't notice because you moved on.

To play it safe, keep texts for logistics only. To spice it up a little, say something funny once in a while. Or say something funny to open then set up logistics. Can't go wrong by texting less than they do.

virgin_cuck · 2017-05-17T17:58:50+00:00

Quick noob question.. I discovered TRP about 1.5 months ago and I tought if Ill ever fucking hit anger phase well shit I was wrong. I feel evil fire burning inside when I look at women. I also saw posts about people being stuck in anger phase for fucking long time and I don't want this to happen to me what should I do to get over this phase as soon as possible?

Rares5555 · 2017-05-17T18:12:31+00:00

Quick question:

In an LTR for two years, on and off, I cheated two times, she always wanted me back. Now we're good but I found TRP about a month ago and I'm starting to be disgusted with women and her too (I'm 18 btw). I'm starting to not even want to fuck her anymore and only focus solely on me. Is that normal? What should I do?

dreamville11 · 2017-05-17T19:53:56+00:00

Hey everyone,

Overall, I feel like Im on a decline. Im finishing up my first semester at college after transferring and realized that I have a lot of work to better myself. I've lost my passion to play pick up basketball (out muscled by shorter/ bulkier players and getting patellar tendonitis), I've lost the commitment to wake up at 3:30am to workout (bc I prefer empty gyms), and I've become very anti-social/ aloof when it comes to interacting with people. I don't see any motivation for social interaction and much rather be left alone.

Getting girls isn't really a concern to me (credit to the book The Rational Male) because I'd much rather focus on my personal & professional goals instead. I understand that networking is a big thing in college and I have done a little bit by joining one of the clubs on campus, multimedia/ journalism club. In short, Im a political science major working to make it into law school and become a sports agent or entertainment lawyer.

Idk, how I can start making friends and networking when I won't bother talking to the person sitting next to me.

tl;dr, typical downard spiral, trying to work on becoming more social in college and in life.

TeachMeTheWaysOfRP · 2017-05-17T20:08:36+00:00

I have a severe case of oneitis. This is what brought me to TRP. How do I get this women out of my head? I keep telling myself unicorns don't exist, but it ain't working. I've read up on abundance mentality, but being 100 pounds overweight I get zero IOIs. I feel it's kinda hard to have abundance mentality when I can't put it into practice or can't experience it myself. Currently losing 2-3 pounds a week since the start of April. And I can honestly say that I started lifting for myself and not for this unicorn. It's a start I guess. Maybe I don't actually understand what abundance mentality is.

Any guidance or advice is appreciated.

Space__Scientist · 2017-05-17T20:45:38+00:00

This girl at work thinks she is a god. I denied sex with her because I was smart enough to know I was getting used in my blue pill past, where I was her orbiter and she was heartbroken. After that I was reading up on PUA techniques, wich led me here (THANK GOD).

Last weekend I told her to go fuck herself after she aggressively tried to boss me around, wich she didn't take lightly. Getting angry texts from her, saying I'm childish for saying that, I have a problem with her but she is sooo professional that she keeps work and private life separated (yeah right) and I should just stfu.

I am not responding to her, I hope this is the right call. My question is how to deal with a girl who thinks she is better than me. I know this is probably because in the past I was a pushover and now I've changed. But I still have so much information to process that I can't see the trees in the forest sometimes.

Do you think I should just ignore her for life? I mean, fuck that bitch.

AyeAmScottishYaCunt · 2017-05-18T10:08:43+00:00

My ex and I broke up a couple years ago, went through a quick phase of plating her just over a year ago and she ended it after a few weeks because she couldn't handle the new me. The second time over I really didn't give a shit, with multiple hobbies, social events, work and training she was barely an after thought and she hated it. Fair enough and I didn't complain, deleted her number. End of.

Few months ago she's back in touch with my mother?? Mum tells me and I feign interest ("that's great yeah cool hope she's well" and they arranged a lunch date as if that's not the weirdest thing ever.. but my mum loved the girl and I honestly didn't give much of a shit.

She's mailed me a couple times since then, both times I just ignored. She's had a new boyfriend for just under a year now apparently (says my mum) so I couldn't deal with the agro. She just mailed me telling me her dog had died and she wanted to let me know whilst she was telling her family.

To be straight, I've never seen anyone be as close as they were to their pet as she was, and to be honest I loved him too. I think I may have loved the dog more than her if I'm being honest. It took my off guard. I offered my condolences, and I was really taken back by it. She was clearly devistated. We've been briefly talking for a couple days now, mostly about the dog and how she's feeling about it. I believe I'm crossing into the emotional tampon territory now but I don't want to be that complete dick who doesn't give a fuck that he's dead because I really do. Anyone want to pitch in with their 2 cents?

west3rn1deals · 2017-05-17T14:54:05+00:00

Greetings my friends, I have noticed a lot of times in posts related to shit-tests the best spoken reply is usually a clever comment. When I do that very often people usually associate me as a smartass, my question when does being clever turn into being a smartass, and can it be okay in situations among a woman?

goldenjung · 2017-05-17T16:48:37+00:00

I only couchsurfed twice; once alone and another time with a plate and had a good time on both occasions. Wanting to return the favor, I started accepting guests even though I'm currently living in a shared flat. I've received and accepted a number of hosting requests but people mostly cancel when I remind them to read my home description to check if they're OK with a shared room/one bed sleeping arrangements. Up till now, it's been all guys, and only one who just needed to crash for one night ended up staying at my place. I let him crash on my bed while I slept in my sleeping bag on the floor.

Recently a chick has requested to stay with me for a week and I did the same thing thinking she'd probably cancel when she found better alternatives. To my surprise, she accepted and said she had no problem with the sleeping arrangements. Now, this girl is very good looking and those usually have no problem finding hosts even with last minute requests.

I'm not planning on sleeping on the floor for an entire week for a couchsurfing guest, so I think we're going to be sharing the bed at some point (which she basically agreed to do). I've been told I'm decent looking and I'm pretty sure she knows what she's doing, all things considered. My question to you is: should I or shouldn't I?

Bignmybrain · 2017-05-17T20:15:57+00:00

I find that more often than not, I hold myself back from a particular girl because a guy I am acquainted with is in to her. I also see that I hold myself back from most approaches during the day, although I'm noticing the opportunities more. I think these two things are related since one cannot consciously hold a portion of himself back without holding some other part back unconsciously. Where do I go with this?

Quartus44 · 2017-05-18T06:40:35+00:00

I know that its been said before that the more beautiful, model-type women can be less experienced/more receptive to approaches because of the buffer that their 'scaring dudes off effect' provides, and have a question for older/more experienced guys in that regard.

What would be your estimate for how often a really attractive girl responds more positively/more shyly/even more awkwardly due to their expectations of not being approached/talked to by men very often? Is that sort of claim about them something you've encountered to be largely true/false, or are women just too different to be able to make a general claim about it?

RedPillFreedom · 2017-05-17T21:15:04+00:00

After applying, you see results. But, you slip allow your discipline to slack. Now, you have developed different parts of your life. So, it's not a total failure or waste of time. But, that real growth that allowed you to become great and reach this point is dying.

Prior conditioning is taking over and you are consuming more of the wrong content. Producing less, working less, grinding less. You ride out on the ashes of value you generated as a Phoneix.

I am looking to drop a metric fuck ton of lighter fluid on the ashes and get back into RP, self improvement, everything. I want growth.

Not sure if it's a call to action but let's say the prior material that would feel like ones life purpose was being fulfilled is gone. I know as a human this will always be the case because we are constantly changing. But, right now I need a framework and is reinforced by daily grounding activities. To not lose track of the mission.

I schedule the days. Track daily habits. But, days are still missed. Low energy diet is clean. But, at the end of the day. Spartans and Samurai had less and still achieved more. There's always someone in a more fucked up position than you that has achieved more.

What methods can I implement to fix this lack of a mission? Could it be as simple as I quit meditation and visualization which allowed me to get tossed around by the currents of life? Instead of commanding my ship, I submit to the sea.

This lack of a mission is something that bothers me personally on s spiritual level. Eventually, will reflect in my behavior. But, for now the high value generated from prior success has been enough to still be qualified RP in the eyes of others. It's not like when I first started RP where a relapse of simple habits would have caused nice guy behavior or placating. Now, most of that material has reached unconscious competence. Of course, my frame could be stronger but that for me relies heavily upon me doing everything I need to be doing.

When I'm a man on a mission, committed and absolutely dedicated to the cause. I know through body, mind and soul it's bringing me closer to what I truly desire. Nothing can stop me. Every challenge is just an obstacle that must be overcome.

Question: From personal experience to books. Any tips or feedback will be appreciated.

Edit: Clear Questions - what do I need to do to stay on track? How do I not lose drive? How do I keep achieving long term fulfillment? How do I not get led astray from a off day, relapse, or lack of dedication? How do I keep the discipline going but also enjoying the process?

Edit2: I was able to answer my question. u/doxpara "hard work pays off" post helped and The War of Art - Steven Pressfield.

KizaaSeddit · 2017-05-17T23:22:38+00:00

I've been fucked over a bit. I kinda have a clue where I went wrong, but I just kinda need rp advice cos I have no idea wtf just happened to me.

Basically, I have a massive exam gap, nothing is going on in my life, all of my friends went home.I was studying in the library when 2 girls I know started messaging me and told me that I should hang out with them at the mall (turned out it was the one which was 30 mins away by metro) but I was bored af and thirsty - so I went all the way.

I promised one of the girls (A) I'd take her on a date and the other one (B) was calling me, telling me not to Fuck up etc.

I meet up with the girls. Girl A goes to do her make up, girl B starts having a conversation with me and tells me she's engaged (sounds like she's chatting shit) and that her fiance would be pissed that I'm flirting with her. Girl A comes back, and girl B is trying to direct everything we do, taking us to a shitty cafe - so I say if you wanna third wheel, at least let me choose the restaurant. She leaves to go shopping.

I take her to a cool restaurant, we have a good a conversation tons of kino, yada yada. She offers to split the bill, twice after I said I'd pay. Great...

Things get fucking weird here... We're going home, and she says she actually has a boyfriend, who's she's gonna move in with. Then her and her friend start making jokes about me being a virgin and being bi (like wtf, Im not I've never said anything like that), being their gay best friend etc... I'm like wtf, but I bounce the banter back, and try to ignore or agree and amplify.

Then when I'm making banter about B's fiance being fake (they change his name twice) she gets super aggressive and says she'll chop my balls off if I make fun of her fiance. The whole time I'm making them laugh and trying my best to hold frame but this is weird af...

Then A shows me pictures of her making out with other guys, and other weird shit. I'm just like wtf. In a fully packed train B has a go at me about making fun of A and B's foreign accents and how girls don't like being teased - I'm just like, okay it's too late for you to like me I guess so I'm gonna continue doing it...

Walking these girls back, B's making jokes about me wanting to get laid, major cockblock, no F close, no K close nothing. Wtf just happened??? How do I prevent this shit from happening again??

I_0-_-0I · 2017-05-18T06:46:35+00:00

Alright TRP,

So I've subscribed to TRP philosophy for the last year or so. I've been in an LTR for almost 2 years now but I've told this girl that there isn't going to be any progression. I more or less sat her down and told her that I don't intend on marrying her, like ever. We took a break for a week or so after that but managed to get back together for some reason. I realize now I did it because it was just a comfortable place to be and it was incredibly low-effort sex/attention. For the past two months I've been gaming women and successfully plating several of them without the LTR knowing about it (we attend separate colleges 45 minutes away from one another).

How do I drop the LTR? Being with plates just seems slimy sometimes and I can't seem to drop her entirely.

Need2LickMuff · 2017-05-18T02:11:27+00:00

I'm in a tough spot right now. I used to think I had swallowed TRP (fucking hate using that phrase, ffs), but I'm starting to now think I've only licked it once (no homo).

I'm confused as shit right now. I see half the people here saying 'Don't worry about what you say since women communicate physically', and then I'm seeing the other half saying to work on what you say to women because it's important to be able to communicate verbally. I'm really bad with talking to people as is, let alone women, so now I'm stuck in this spot of figuring out whether or not me focusing on how to talk to women is steps towards becoming her buddy or her fuck buddy.

What would most people on here conclude about talking to women? Again, I'm extremely bad with talking to people, at least leading conversations. I don't talk much by default, sometimes jumble my words around, but at the same time I don't see people being annoyed by me when I'm around them.

Churff · 2017-05-18T02:59:38+00:00

How do you incorporate TRP into high school gaming? Every girl here wants to date asap, and the shit tests are super easy to ace and recognize and I can tell when I pass them. I'm 15, so I'm still in the anger phase a bit but it doesn't hinder my convos with women too much. I play football, lift everyday, am in good shape but am a little on the skinny side. How do I just game girls to get my dick wet and not look for a relationship like my past BP self? I'd never let them affect my grades btw

I take all advanced classes and plan on going to college. I don't know how to deal with girls this age who think that the ideal relationship is texting all the time because my past relationships we always texted back and forth a lot and I look back now and cringe. It seems impossible to engage in a RP-like relationship with a girl where I'm only using her for sex or head. I've seen it plenty of times, where a ho will have random dudes some head but then when she dates a friend of mine he doesn't even get nudes, and he says she's not like that but obviously I see through that.

vorverk · 2017-05-18T06:41:05+00:00

Been on TRP for 3+ years. I have a great job, I am in great shape, I have money saved, reel estate, I keep my apartment clean, dress well, I have hobbies, large social circle, couple of plates (which all want to lock me down). Basically got my shit together. 36 yo.

What's next? It's not that I have nothing to do, but I want more. How do I find my next mission? Anyone here that "has it all" that has trouble finding next goal and devote all energy to it, how do you find it?

TheWorldToCome · 2017-05-18T08:31:44+00:00

Should you care if one of your plates is also fucking another guy, I know ideally you would demand monogamy from them, but ya know. I have no temptation to ever catch feelings for this chick I am banging and I know she certainly isn't just hooking up with me.

firestell · 2017-05-18T12:44:44+00:00

How can I stop seeking validation? I feel like it's one of my major drawbacks.

I've always cared too much about what others thought of me, and even now I still find myself seeking validation, mostly from my gf (I know, bad idea). It's not like I consciously do it, it just happens.

TheMightyMellow · 2017-05-18T17:10:21+00:00

Got this girls number at the gym, walked up to her and basically told her shes cute and we should grab a drink. She said she had a boyfriend and that he wouldnt want her to get a drink with a guy (still gave me her number) then i suggested we work out together some time, she agrees.

Texted her a day later kept it nice and flirty and suggested she meet me at the gym friday to do some legs to which she replied "i was planning on doing legs today but ill see" after which i never responded.

How should i go about gaming this girl? She seems on the fence about it but is being responsive and showing some level of interest. Should i just tell her to get a drink w/me and if she says "we'll see" just say fuck it?

nips18 · 2017-05-18T19:17:04+00:00

I would say my biggest set back is myself and myself only. I say that because I have grasped certain RP topics like going to the gym and working to better myself. I've made great steps in these areas as my body has never looked this good and I have a job for the summer in my major field of study. When it comes to the women, I just don't have the drive to talk to them. I catch them looking at me all the time but I just shit on the possibility of ever talking to them because I feel like what I'm doing is more important then trying to get some tail. I would guess that it's just me being a giant pus but I also don't want "getting women" to be the reason for my actions as I see that's when I put the most pressure on myself in those situations and I just fuck it up somehow. How should I alter my mindset to fit with my goals of being better with girls?

pvcpipes · 2017-05-18T21:42:24+00:00

Should it matter on a date if I have a crappy car?

TheRealYekke · 2017-05-19T00:42:05+00:00

Unattractive women are the way to go until you can chase the over 30's in the 'relationships' pump N dump market. They pay their way, work hard, and guess what they have the same parts as a HB10, plus society will let you dump them without a problem if your smv is higher

ShiningConcepts · 2017-05-19T03:08:23+00:00

Why do you think rich and famous men are so hypergamous? Seriously list almost any famous major male celebrity (Donald Trump, even) and they are so often married to someone who isn't nearly as rich or famous as them. I would think that men smart enough to be this rich would know better than to be hypergamous (since hypergamy is the greatest threat to financial solvency there is), but yet so many of them are. Why is that?

You guys have any clues/opinions on why this is?

EDIT: Just to be clear since the definition is a bit different than I thought: I use the term "hypergamy" to refer to a marriage in which there is a significant disparity in the financial/social status of the spouses.

ScholarInRed · 2017-05-19T04:59:24+00:00

I'm having trouble that I believe I'm stuck between beta and Alpha.

I'm too woke to give commitment or paychecks, I'm too shitty to compete...

Any advice for the painfully nondescript men out there?

mambo_matt · 2017-05-19T05:02:22+00:00

Just went on a first date after talking with a girl for a little bit. Met on Tinder and we clicked when we talked through phone/text. Meet up in person and totally different interaction. She practically said she wamted to fuck me through snapchat yet no sign of interest in person. I am seriously starting to crack, gents. I do fine until I see a girl face to face. I freeze up, not myself, and all around lame. When I'm with friends, I make everyone laugh, the mood is light and can talk to anyone. Flip the switch on dates and completely different person. I know I shouldn't care cause it's just 1 date but I've been single for a year now and have been on many different dates that end up crash and burning. Before I met the ex wife, I was on top of the world. Had different girlfriends/friends and now I have neither. Idk whats wrong with me but it's such a pain in the ass that I can't get it right. Feeling hopeless and like a beta male. I want to just stop caring.

FAT_BOSMA · 2017-05-18T08:16:21+00:00

Anybody Red pillers here wit ADHD. I feel like it's super hard to follow all the rules of red pill because I'm not thinking before I do, and I'm disorganized, it's also hard for me to stay focused on a task. I feel like I'm Alpha on a psychological level but it's hard for me to keep my executive affairs in order.

Title	askTRP Megathread May 17
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	34
Comments	178
Date	May 17, 2017 1:07 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6bokd6/asktrp_megathread_may_17/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/asktrp-megathread-may-17.43301 https://theredarchive.com/post/43301

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