The single biggest misunderstanding between men and women. How to go from a Beta mindset to an Alpha mindset in minutes.

_whistler · 2014-08-21T13:32:24+00:00

The alpha doesn't resent a woman who doesn't "love" him in that elusive way. He knows that she can't. He knows she can dump him at the drop of a hat, and get over him within a week, and find someone else within a few days. That's why he knows that he needs to be on top of his shit all day, every day or else she WILL leave. That's why he doesn't take rejection personally. That's why he doesn't put pressure on a woman to tell him that she "loves" him. There is NO unconditional love when it comes to women! None!

Right on. This is truth.

I've been a member of this community for a while. Made some posts, had some good discussions. I've been in a LTR with a girl for about a year, and been pretty happy with the Captain/First Officer dynamic. Three days ago, she ended it.

It means that many men's ideal "lived happily ever after" woman does not exist.

I know this. I've known this for a while. But even knowing this, I've decided that the life I want includes a woman to be my First Officer and the mother of my children one day. I entered into the LTR understanding it could end in emotional pain. Easy to say here, in this sub. Harder to endure when it happens, especially through the lense of TRP. If I just accepted the blue-pill bullshit that "we weren't right for each other," it'd be easier. But the truth is: I fucked up somewhere. I got lazy, I showed weakness, I wasn't the best man I could be. And this is the price I pay.

I'm gonna cut this short, because I'll probably make a longer post about this once the wounds have healed a bit more. Right now, I'm doubling down on making myself the most admirable man I can be.

LibertarianLibertine · 2014-08-21T12:23:10+00:00

Continuous fucking creates hormonal connections to that person that we perceive as 'love'.

For the male, this love means he will die for her and her children, which are -probably- his(he is after all disposable).

For the female, this love means she will show him some affection to ensure he provides her and her children with food.

We are simple animals.

IllimitableMan · 2014-08-21T17:02:50+00:00

That's the way this works folks, men can die for their kids + women, women can die for their kids and only their kids. Thus why men can love unconditionally, and women can't.

I put this in the red pill anti biotic nuke, they reposted it on /r/redpillwomen and the chicks there were all disputing this point. Not even they want to admit it/believe it. Women don't want to believe they're incapable of agape for men because the combination of their love that is eros and philia just makes them feel so good for loving you like that. It feels so good to them that they believe it is the ultimate form of love, that there couldn't possibly be a higher form of love than that and to admit there is would be to vitiate their ability to love. Of course there is a higher form of love and it's what women can only comprehend from the perspective of how they feel about their children - agape. That's how emotionally committed men love their women (LTRs.) It's also how a man can no longer be sexually attracted to a woman but still love her/sacrifice for her, whilst the reverse is not true. The bitch stops getting tingles and she's off into the sunset/friendzoning you. "I'm in love with you but I'm not IN LOVE with you" kinda bullshit.

How I see it is all these women want agape but at best you'll get eros/philia in return, without the unconditionality she always has more freedom to walk whilst you don't. Plating chicks is the equivalent of just saying "you're only worth eros too, you're not getting my agape." And they can't stand that.

In case you're confused reading this, they're greek words that more accurately define different types of love: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

ThumpNuts · 2014-08-21T15:44:49+00:00

Newsflash: Women don't love a man the same way a man loves a woman.

Newsflash 2: Men don't love women the same way a woman loves a man.

Kudos to you for defining it.

There are several things to keep in mind:

He knows she can dump him at the drop of a hat, and get over him within a week, and find someone else within a few days.

A man could just as easily leave a woman and move on the same day. I think this is a manly trait ONLY. Alpha males can "next" a girl fairly easily.

It is certainly the trait of a woman [or a beta male] to live in the past and romanticize the past relationship and pine over their former lover... which is why so many women bounce back to their ex. These feelings are unreasonable and are a product of an immature emotional IQ.

That's why he knows that he needs to be on top of his shit all day, every day or else she WILL leave. That's why he doesn't take rejection personally.

A Lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep. An ALPHA male is not concerned that his woman will leave him. That is the psychology of a woman [or Beta male... see a pattern developing?] A woman fears "dread game." You should be on top of your game FOR YOU. Be all you can be because of ALL the benefits self improvement bestow. Because you are a better man for it... and women DESIRE a better man. Period.

Good for you for pursuing a LTR, but make sure it's on YOUR terms from the beginning... and make sure you never lose sight of your true self - your BETTER SELF and that you strive to get a little bit better every day.

Casual_Tits · 2014-08-21T12:57:57+00:00

That's why he knows that he needs to be on top of his shit all day, every day or else she WILL leave.

In my previous relationship, I didn't do this. At the time, I couldn't for the life of me understand why her interest in me fluctuated so much. When she wasn't into me, I blamed her for these inconsistencies, complained, whined, got jealous, etc. In reality though, it was my fault...because a woman's love is conditional - the conditions of the relationship for her (my words and behavior) reflected her love for me.

Because of TRP, I know now more than ever that I need to always put myself first, keep them off the pedestal, and understand how quickly their emotional states can change - which results in the need to maintain frame constantly.

deadgod1 · 2014-08-21T12:13:31+00:00

When a rich nigga want ya

And your nigga can't do nothing for ya

These hoes ain't loyal

Yeah, yeah, let me see

Chris Brown

gimmieareason · 2014-08-21T17:33:48+00:00

If this really IS true, and I'm really starting to think it is. Why the fuck would I put all my time and energy into a woman when I know she will just fuck me over if I start to slip? Why should I invest all my time and effort to becoming the best I can be for her, when she doesn't return shit to me. What kind of a deal is that?

alisonstone · 2014-08-21T14:33:40+00:00

When a guy and a girl dates, the guy is being interviewed to be the CEO. To be the captain. To be the leader, role model, and protector of the next generation. For whatever reason, many guys don't know this and they act like a bitch during the interview, and they are surprised that they don't get hired.

On the other side, for LTRs, the woman is being interviewed to be a suitable mother and matriarch for the next generation. She needs to be young and healthy enough to produce offspring. She needs to demonstrate that she is responsible enough and capable of raising the offspring. There is some overlap in that she needs to be a leader and role model for the offspring too. Some women don't get this and they go to the interview showing off that they can chug a bucket of cum. Guys would be impressed that someone can do that, but they will also reject her as a candidate for an LTR. That is why some women can build rapport with many guys (i.e. she is "one of the guys" who can chug beer, cuss, and is covered in tattoos, etc) but is always disqualified as an LTR.

You have to know what your job is. Some guys get confused because they are always "interviewing" women for wife-qualities, that they mix it up and think they are applying for a job to be a wife. He knows what he wants and he thinks that is what the woman wants too because he heard "equality" too many times. Some women screw this up too and think that men care about her career more than her decaying eggs.

iab_mabden · 2014-08-21T11:02:13+00:00

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zephyrprime · 2014-08-21T14:02:43+00:00

This is good to have repeated over and over as, to me, it's the entire basis for trp. You tell me this a year ago I would have made fun of you. I figured this all out on my own and it was terrifying to try to fully realize. It still is. But it's the cold hard truth. If my life experiences hadn't clearly demonstrated this to me I never would have believed it. Tomassi is on the side bar for a reason. Telling people about trp actively basically violates the laws of power and they don't want to know. It's comfortable to believe the lie. I didn't even realize I've spent the last year taking the pill until a few days ago. It's still a struggle but that's the thing. It's always been a struggle. I'm just more aware of it now and I'm playing on the same field without my eyes closed. Your mom will hopefully love you but nobody else will ever even be capable of that kind of love for you. Realize it and realize that no matter what you believe you are playing the game. Closing your eyes and sticking your fingers in your ears just makes you vulnerable it doesn't help. Good to read this again. And again and again.

bicepsblastingstud · 2014-08-21T14:06:54+00:00

Throughout history men have jumped on grenades, thrown themselves in front of bullets, and faced certain death in the hope that they would save their women/children.

http://www.history.army.mil/moh/iraq.html

Indeed.

"Although only he could have escaped the blast, Petty Officer Monsoor chose instead to protect his teammates. Instantly and without regard for his own safety, he threw himself onto the grenade to absorb the force of the explosion with his body, saving the lives of his two teammates."

heist_of_saint_graft · 2014-08-21T15:03:32+00:00

From the sidebar:

Briffault's Law: Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.

Women don't take bullets for their men because men are survival-enhancers for women. Once a woman decides she's getting less out of the equation than she's putting in, she begins to look for another man to help her survive better.

2014-08-22T02:19:35+00:00

As the great Bruce Wayne once said, "Women used to throw themselves at my feet."

When asked what he did in response, he said, "I stepped over them."

kanaduhisfruityeh · 2014-08-21T11:38:34+00:00

Men may be more loyal than women within the context of serious relationships. But men can place conditions on women before they commit them in the first place.

Men choose which women they will commit to seriously and take a bullet for, just like women choose which men they want to let stick penis inside of them.

I wouldn't take a bullet for a woman who didn't meet my standards and requirements because I would have never entered into a serious, committed relationship with her in the first place.

Rollo-Tomassi · 2014-08-21T15:21:33+00:00

As a man, you have that capacity for your woman and your kids. Women have it only for their kids.

I go into more detail on this in the Intersexual Hierarchies series:

http://therationalmale.com/2014/05/06/intersexual-hierarchies-part-i/

http://therationalmale.com/2014/05/13/intersexual-hierarchies-part-ii/

bluedrygrass · 2014-08-21T19:42:53+00:00

I'm new to RP, so i wouldn't be surprised if i make mistakes, but the consequences of that rule, IF true, are DRASTIC.

I can't love a woman that don't love me, i simply can't.

Provide, be a leader, be right, etc., all this i understand and accept, BUT there must be something coming back from the other side.

I would never, ever die for a woman. And why in the entire hell should i? Women are substantially the last human category to die for. Take a bullet for your woman? Nope. Since she would never take one for me.

How can i be loyal to someone who isn't loyal to me? Conditional loyalty is not loyalty. Is just convenience. Loyalty is by definition inconditional.

And I should sacrifice something for someone who is just waiting for some trivial shit to decide she's had enough?

Women are the disposable ones.

They're all the same, they operate all under the same principles, they aren't original, unique or anything. Not as much as males are, for sure.

So, if there's one always expendable in a relationship, that's the woman.

Caring for someone that don't care for you is the definition of blue pill, submissive, dependant. That's the female role, not the male one.

If there's one that would end up sleeping on the couch, or blocked outside MY house, that's the female. Everything else is submissive, blue pill.

Women are the dependant gender. I ain't gonna feel anything for a bitch that for her nature can't feel love (if, and it's a big if, it's true). Even a pregnant bitch is only a bitch, and nothing special really. Love, a bound, free loyalty from her could make me somewhat interested in her beyond the superficial and momentary interests.

Do you think a dark triade subject would ever take a bullet or lose something for his woman? And do you think his woman don't know that?

brestbay · 2014-08-21T12:17:24+00:00

i think what you said within the paragraph is mostly true

but the title is completely misleading, i dont think that many beta mindsets stem from this particular delusion

will probably get downvoted for going against the grain

But i have to disagree, that last paragraph is mostly bullshit in my opinion

2014-08-21T12:54:24+00:00

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zephyrprime · 2014-08-21T15:13:09+00:00

Good post. What you're talking about is one of the foundational facts about TRP. It is the reason underlying soo much of how TRP treats women differently than how BP treats women.

nothere_ · 2014-08-21T16:33:20+00:00

That's why he knows that he needs to be on top of his shit all day, every day or else she WILL leave

but please do not be on top of your shit just so you can keep/get a woman,satisfy your needs complete your objectives and score goals for you and your legacy first before you dedicate that to a woman.

2014-08-21T19:36:44+00:00

RP TRUTH from Drake: "Got some game from my dad, though She might say she loves me, She don't love me like she says she loves me."

CornyHoosier · 2014-08-21T20:49:18+00:00

All love is conditional for both men and women. We are intelligent (enough) creatures to learn new information and make a judgement. I find the concept of unconditional love is be inherently impossible.

That said, I believe men are conditioned from a young age to see themselves as disposable. Young boys are often told to keep their feelings bottled up, told to "walk off" injury and often encounter more potentially dangerous situations will less support.

reason_is_why · 2014-08-21T22:16:18+00:00

“A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul.” - Brennan Manning

Andress1 · 2014-08-22T02:09:19+00:00

Is there unconditional love from anyone,even men?I dont think so. The thing is that the tolerance threshold for women is much lower than men's.

newpoint619 · 2014-08-22T03:53:51+00:00

I dislike the premise that a man has to be on top of his game every day or else she will leave. That is a subservient role where the man continuously needs to maintain a woman's approval or else she will leave. That's not the right way to look at it. A man is on top of his game because that's who he is. He's hungry and he's the best and people seek his approval and want to be around him, fuck him, have his babies.

raouldukeesq · 2014-08-21T16:38:47+00:00

"I'm still running into guys on some of the posts here who don't understand that there is no unconditional love from women. This is rule numero uno of TRP. Women will never "love" you like you want them to. They just don't have the ability to."

The idea that only men can love is hilariously subjective and has no way of been objectively proved one way or the other. The correct statement would be: there is no unconditional love from anyone. And for TRP the only people of concern are women. Therefore, women will never "love" you like you want them to. They just don't have the ability to."

spikenigma · 2014-08-21T17:53:51+00:00

And Horse Shoe theory manifests itself yet again.

http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2013/02/25/philadelphia-woman-gives-her-life-to-save-husband-from-drunk-driver/

Every woman that has looked after an infirmed husband for decades, or died within hours of her husband of 40 years or visa versa beg to differ.

Yes, modern feminsim sucks, "ZOMG my feels are more important than the facts you bigot" rules the day. But I thought this subreddit was supposed to be about reality and rationality, not generalising 3 billion people.

AgentSmith27 · 2014-08-21T15:59:25+00:00

There is no such thing as unconditional love, from anyone to anyone. Everything has conditions. I've seen parents throw their kids out of the house after their legal obligation for basically no reason. I've seen guys leave perfectly good girls, and I've seen girls leave perfectly good guys.

Nothing is permanent, everything is conditional, and everyone is mostly out for just themselves. To what degree this is true changes from person to person. "Good" people will actually consider how their actions effect others, and whether their behavior is "fair" and justifiable. Most people, however, don't even consider this unless it benefits them in some way.

cooltrip · 2014-08-21T16:10:04+00:00

I see it as a wrong theory supporting a right goal.

I would rather have used the form: "in order to be an alpha, behave as if your women could only love their children, but you could love both your women and your children, and so you were more capable of love".

herropriest · 2014-08-21T16:15:30+00:00

I think you're over-glorifying men. I don't disagree with your points on the nature of women, but in reality, what % of men in combat will actually throw themselves over a grenade? What % will flee so long as they can get away without getting outed for it? We're probably looking at a bell curve.

My point is that men's love is not unconditional either. Will you ever date a grotesque, physically-disabled woman? That's a condition, and there are others.

optimumone · 2014-08-21T17:03:28+00:00

"Throughout history men have jumped on grenades, thrown themselves in front of bullets, and faced certain death in the hope that they would save their women/children. Women do not do this."

Such actions ENSURE the survival of the species. We need the MEN to be dispensable NOT the women.

10 adult men and 200 adult women - we can rebuild our community, cult, country.. and fast. Double, triple our population in ADULTS in 20 years.

10 adult women and 200 adult men - the community is dead as the women can only produce one child every 9-10 months.

matisseman · 2014-08-21T17:07:58+00:00

To quote Drake:

Yeah, got some game from my Daddy

He said she might say she love me

She don't love me like she say she love me

Believe me, believe me

s0nicfreak · 2014-08-21T18:48:03+00:00

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Jkobzen · 2014-08-21T23:16:37+00:00

For those of you who needs to proof the mindset women have heres an article. It's about a woman realizing how her brain works, she sacrifices her boyfriend to save herself.

http://www.salon.com/2011/05/19/taxi_crash_revealed_true_me_open2011/

RufusFlywheel · 2014-08-21T13:57:26+00:00

Okay, men and women 'love' differently.

What are you going to do with this factoid?

ejpusa · 2014-08-21T18:08:53+00:00

Actually my sister would gladly take a bullet, x 10 for her husband. Without a moments thought. Without a millisecond of hesitation. That's their relationship.

Think it's hard to generalize like this. Instead maybe say 99% of "women will never take a bullet for you." At least give yourself a bit of wiggle room. (IMHO)

Jizzaldo · 2014-08-21T15:07:25+00:00

Sure, if you believe in all that love shit to begin with.

Audiodragon · 2014-08-21T15:28:33+00:00

To add on top of this, do not believe women when they say they will.

This is extremely important to remember. Right now, you might say 'yea ok I get it', but do not forget it.

She isn't special, she is exactly 'like the other girls', she has nothing that distinguishes herself from the others.

chirry8 · 2014-08-21T18:54:58+00:00

I'm not sure that this reflects a woman's inability to love a man entirely. I think that we (as men) protect loved ones who are more vulnerable than us, thus due to men generally being the stronger, we protect our more vulnerable loved ones (ie. wife, parents, children) whilst a woman expects to be protected by her husband and will in turn protect her children as they are her more vulnerable loved ones.

optimumone · 2014-08-21T16:34:45+00:00

Have to comment on the below quote.

This is the main reason a alpha man has HIS OWN.

Whether it is a PHD, a MD, or a dry cleaning business. You know what they are and you always protect yours and your will invariably keep them (women in general, and maybe in particular)

Want to go, want a divorce, want to leave - I am still a MD and have value in the marketplace. This will equate to women--- "working it out" and stayiny; accepting that their std of living may DROP if they leave(or you leave) OR you EASILY replacing them.

Men have to understand this.

A divorced man with power/ money is a catch.

Don't hate women for this. We would be the same way if we were the weaker sex.

Women feel a POWERFUL sense of relief once married. Most men - don't have the same feeling. Sometimes its a feeling of new responsibility.

TL;DR - women just trying to eat (and forge for food for their kids.) ""The alpha doesn't resent a woman who doesn't "love" him in that elusive way. He knows that she can't. He knows she can dump him at the drop of a hat, and get over him within a week, and find someone else within a few days. That's why he knows that he needs to be on top of his shit all day, every day or else she WILL leave. That's why he doesn't take rejection personally. That's why he doesn't put pressure on a woman to tell him that she "loves" him. There is NO unconditional love when it comes to women! None!"""

SillyAmerican · 2014-08-21T16:49:52+00:00

one of the most effective way to get a girl wet for you is to constantly remind her that you dont need her to love you. I tell that to girls all the time and they go super hamster trying to figure out what I mean. they try to read in between the lines etc, but dont understand I am being quite literal when i say, "I dont need your love." Convey that, and their love will pour like wine.

cottonsweatpants · 2014-08-21T17:19:49+00:00

I needed to hear this. Thank you.

TheRabid · 2014-08-21T17:51:57+00:00

I think that this is true of both sexes. We are expendable assets and everyone has a price.

scramtek · 2014-08-21T18:27:14+00:00

Most informative post I've read on TRP. Or at least to me at this point in time. In my hopefully constant journey of awakening.

And, despite all that being true to me, my thoughts sound corny as fuck. I'd as soon as say that to a women as tell her I love her.

mmolessgoogle · 2014-08-21T18:28:04+00:00

While I do enjoy reading TRP and agree with a lot of it, this is simply incorrect. You can't ascribe a characteristic like this to half the human race and be correct. There is just too much variability.

Do I think OP is correct that MOST women are like this? Yep. And you would do well to act as if this is a universal truth, until it is proven otherwise.

Do I think there are exceptions? Yep.

I can give an example of variability form my own experience - I used to run a division of riverboats on a firing range. We used 36' Bertram yachts for this, each with a crew of three. We had about 30 sailors in the div, usually about half women.

There was an fire on one of the boats while it was on the river. The guy on the radio gave us a play by play. It was him, a female sailor, and a male sailor she was involved with.

She was on watch (we had to make sure tourists / fishermen stayed out of the range area during gun testing). Smoke started billowing out of the hatch on the fantail - this meant that the engine room was a death trap.

This chick turned and RAN down to the main deck, threw open the hatch, and dropped into the engine room. She came out with the other guy in like 30 seconds.

He was not seriously injured, but we had him in the dispensary for smoke inhalation. There's no way to know if he would have made it out himself.

Granted, she was doing her job. But she showed a set of balls that day. Do I think she would take a bullet for someone she loved? You bet.

Actually I just remembered something else about this chick - not pertinent to the current discussion, but amusing.

Once the boats were on the river, there was no supervision. I couldn't see what they were up to. This girl would strip off her uniform and sun herself on the deck when she wasn't on watch.

It didn't help that she was hot as balls. So usually the male crew members would spend the day staring at her ass instead of watching the river.

Quansau18 · 2014-08-21T19:07:34+00:00

I think we may not be as fundamentally different as we think...hear me out. I've run into this twice recently, married men, friends of mine, who's women have blimped out since having kids. Now the same societal pressures that tell a beta "be yourself" and "you're good enough as you" are on the other side of the table, it's the wives wondering why their men are so prudish suddenly. But think about it, we are animals and therefore attracted to a geneticly supreme individual displayed through factors like healthy weight. It's not that women are fundementally different, they just have different societal pressures and incentives to act in ways that appear to be insane at first glance. Really they just have all the chips with marriage, and prior to that are doing what we would given the chance (would you like a 5 or a 10?) they just have their options presented more frequently than we do, unless we alpha the fuck up and suddenly, oh shit, WE ARE FEELING WHAT ANY RANDOM CHICK FEELS ALL THE TIME FROM CONSTANT MALE ATTENTION/DISPOSABILITY.

Graizur · 2014-08-21T19:32:51+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/IUdU9Bm.jpg

2014-08-21T22:47:03+00:00

It makes sense in terms of biology, the number 1 thing for any animal is their children. It takes a long time for a child to be born and a womans health effects the newborn child much more than the fathers health. So of course the father is going to be protective of both while the mother only has to worry about the children.

Rougepellet · 2014-08-21T23:29:49+00:00

Fuck that then. I'd rather take a bullet for a bro than some hoe

RPthrowaway123 · 2014-08-22T00:00:46+00:00

This is so true, and it's probably been the hardest thing for me to accept

Cross_of_Coronado · 2014-08-22T09:49:37+00:00

This should be on the fucking stone that Moses received on Mount Sinai.

Twice.

asd1100 · 2014-08-21T12:48:58+00:00

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chasethenoise · 2014-08-22T04:46:05+00:00

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timthetollman · 2014-08-21T14:16:11+00:00

He knows she can dump him at the drop of a hat, and get over him within a week, and find someone else within a few days.

I've seen this happen 3 times now. Once to me, once to a friend and once a girl I know did it to her BF.

wheyapartment · 2014-08-21T21:42:51+00:00

This is extremely bitter.... Men don't love unconditionally, either. If a woman changes her personality and becomes a bitch or gains a lot of weight would you still love her? No. So why take on this attitude?

This is why we have the ability to hand select who we want around us.

babybelly · 2014-08-21T13:47:20+00:00

Throughout history men have jumped on grenades, thrown themselves in front of bullets, and faced certain death in the hope that they would save their women/children.

i love captain america. no homo

retroshark · 2014-08-21T14:54:12+00:00

Your hypothesis is pretty apt. Definitely real food for thought.

2014-08-21T15:10:58+00:00

Thats straight from the sidebar material, but simplified, well done brother

dirgeofthedawn · 2014-08-21T19:13:31+00:00

This just makes me not want a woman. Period.

CokeandGrappa · 2014-08-21T19:28:10+00:00

Some woman might take a bullet for their kids, maybe. But i have seen A LOT of selfish behaviour against kids. In speak, first come kids then the woman, in action, first comes the woman.

ENTP · 2014-08-21T19:39:34+00:00

How do you explain those women who stay with their crippled husbands?

Idaho_Ent · 2014-08-23T15:22:40+00:00

I hate to say it, but i agree.

Even a year ago i would have argued with you. Man have i learned my lesson. And you summed it up quite well...

It almost piss's me off how right you are, how much that makes sense. Mostly as im 37 and just figuring this out. I used to think women were capable of just as much as men, and some are, but most are exactly what you described. Spineless and weak.

I dont think ive identified with as many posts as i have in this thread.

PS: Im dating, recently read a woman's description of herself in which she referred to herself as "third wave feminism" and i was curious so i asked her what this meant. Her reply was that she was a feminist that believes that all should be equal. Um, how is that a feminist then? Wouldn't that be an equalist? haha (i know equalist is not a word, but i thought it was funny)

lalicat · 2014-08-22T08:51:57+00:00

I've had this discussion with my wife. She openly admits and I accept that she loves the kids more than me. Once she popped out that first baby everything she does is for their well-being first.

There is nothing wrong with this, my wife is very RP and our relationship is very RP. We're open and honest, she expects me to lead and keep her in check and I expect her to maintain the household and her attractiveness for me in exchange for the services she provides and I will provide the money and fancy clothes and good schools for the children. If they're taken care of then I'm taken care of.

This is what shifts in LTRs once children enter the picture. You can still be alpha but you have to also be beta. If you stay in complete beta mode she'll fuck around on you because she doesn't get tingles. If you're constant alpha she might not fuck around on you but she'll be setting you up for the old legal rape (divorce/child support/alimony) so she can legally turn you into an income source without having to do a damn thing to please you.

I learned this the hard way really. I left for a year long deployment when my wife was 9 months pregnant. Nothing had changed for me when I got back a year later but everything had changed for my wife. So I cone back super alpha (because deployment does that to you) and she is in 'need beta' mode. I come in basically like a bull in a china shop like I've always been, start dictating her schedule and what we're doing, fucking up all her routines that I've been out of the picture for ... My daughter was already almost a year old and I've got to go to birthday parties and see her family and sit around with a bunch of cooing females in full on nest mode. Fucking nightmare! Especially after just spending a year of intense male bonding behind a .50 cal machine gun in shitty circumstances. So I withdrawal - I don't want to do that shit but at that moment she needed that beta male to show his sensitive lovey side for the family. She needed to prove to them I was a good choice as a stable provider and loving father ... That was absolutely rock bottom in our marriage. The lowest we've ever gotten. Thank God we hit the road because I had orders across the country and had to report. We get out of that fucking nightmare and head out on a road trip to the exact other side of the country ... Out on the road she needs her alpha back, so we were both finally comfortable. The whole first year my wife was ready to leave me. I'm good at reading a situation and I knew I was fucking up bad but I couldn't be beta for the life of me. I'd been alpha since I was born and it was hard as shit. I couldn't even bond with my own daughter because she was afraid of me as this big tall loud guy she'd never met before. My wife got pregnant literally the week I got back. I had missed the birth of my first kid so I got to be there for the second one and there was nothing magical about it. I was in full on clinical mode, yelling at wife to stop being a bitch to the nurses and do what the fuck they said while she's in labor. You should have seen the looks the nurses were giving me ...

Anyways long story short after that first year my wife is like we need to talk. She straight up tells me that she needs me to be more beta and she can't handle me being that asshole she used to love so much. This is where we come up with the gender roles and division of labor. We lay it all out and I make a commitment to become more beta. We sit down and talk about what our roles and expectations are. All she wants is a little bit more effort bonding with the children, to show my sensitive side to them instead of being like get up, stop crying ... I don't change my actions or attitude towards her at all but I start being that lovey sensitive father towards my children, this gives her the tingles like a motherfucker. She's on my dick trying to suck the seed out of it like 4 times a day (stopping her birth control helped amazingly at this) she's back to being on cloud nine and I'm the fucking father of the year. I learned to harness my inner beta towards the children and channel my wasted alpha energy towards work. At work I'm alpha as fuck x2 because I've got all this pent up testosterone. I'm quickly promoted and soon running the whole place getting top marks on evaluations. This is good because it shows wife that my beta bux prospects are tingling like a motherfucking dead limb. I got a vasectomy and wife is now turning 30 so she's at that wall anyways with her two kids. It's mission accomplished for her and she's not looking for those alpha flings anymore but I still give her the tingles. She always tells me she doesn't know why she loves me so damn much and she's always felt like she loved me way more than I've ever loved her (it's true and I will tell her that it's true) but she couldn't be happier. The women at work are always saying they don't know how she puts up with my shit and if they were my wife they'd leave me. I tell them to stfu, she puts up with me because I'm fucking hung like a horse and you wish your husband would treat you like that ... They never disagree, so there's that ...

When you have children, tone it down a little with them but never with the wife ... Maintain frame with her but let the children get away with a couple shit tests - to a point. Your wife will want to see that they've melted your heart but she still wants to be treated like a woman and fucked by that alpha.

DistantMoon · 2014-08-21T15:32:01+00:00

Y'all motherfuckers are delusional and ridiculously sexist. Women are different than men, but still human. Saying women can't love is total bullshit. I'm a woman, I'm currently in a loving relationship with a woman, we are and have always been inseparable. By your philosophy, we are both dating each other for the benefit of additional protection for our non existent children. I hope you fuckers realize the kind of women that you guys focus on all day are the exact same kind of people as you. Ridiculous, self-serving, self-aggrandizing, cold, heartless people looking for someone to be their bitch. You are that. They are that. Your struggle is to make someone who wants you to be their bitch into your bitch, all while ignoring the plainly visible reality: you're both idiots.

retiredALPHA · 2014-08-21T14:27:31+00:00

maybe they wont love your stupid ass if you keep thinking like this.

ont_anon · 2014-08-21T15:50:24+00:00

That's why he knows that he needs to be on top of his shit all day, every day or else she WILL leave.

I was on the phone last night with my girl and I asked how her day was. She went on to tell me about problems that she had with some of her clients, etc. She then asked how my day was. I responded, "Fine. Always a great day."

She said, "You never have anything to complain about. I need to be more like that. You always seem to have everything managed."

Now, she knows that I am going through some deep financial issues right now that are causing problems in a few areas of my life (I just got off the phone with my bank about a missed mortgage payment, coincidentally). But other than mentioning it to her once - and that might have even been too much - I will never bring it up again. And that's because you cannot ever discuss your problems with women, or cry on their shoulder. That's what your buddies are for. You need to be the unwavering rock for her as she flits about in the wind. Just as a woman would be for her children, you need to be that for her. Because it does not work in reverse.

You can discuss situations, talk about something that bothered you, etc. But once there's even a hint of your complaining about something, or not being able to manage a situation or your life, you start losing frame and her respect.

broeho · 2014-08-21T19:39:03+00:00

Whenever I read stuff on this subreddit, I'll start nodding my head and saying to myself "YEAH!" As I keep reading, though I always get annoyed by the idiotic logic. People constantly just make up theories in their head... theories that have no scientific/logical backing. Then everyone upvotes and accepts this shit as if it is fact.

You are speaking in absolutes and trying to oversimplify a ridiculously complex topic (love). C'mon man, women can't love men unconditionally because they have not "jumped on grenades, thrown themselves in front of bullets, etc" like men have. That is just such a lazy argument... there's absolutely no substance there. You have to see that.

If you want to hook up lots of girls, that's awesome. So do I. If you don't believe in monogamy, cool! I certainly have my doubts as well. But so much stuff on here lacks any logic, its just really bad personal opinions passed off as fact.

Counter423 · 2014-08-21T18:38:38+00:00

LTRs are so much stressful work.

Just spin plates and let em fall and break and go get new ones.

babyicanchange · 2014-08-21T13:46:17+00:00

I'll never understand why people claim that a man's love is unconditional. Would you still love your woman if a bear mauled her face and she'd be ugly as hell? I sure wouldn't.

6footdeeponice · 2014-08-21T17:40:03+00:00

This is a complete logical fallacy.

If you ever would have known a women who would love you fully and die for you, she wouldn't have betrayed you, and you would have never discovered TRP.

Teeklin · 2014-08-21T20:40:11+00:00

Yes, women have a brain 1/3rd the size of a man. It's science.

adrixshadow · 2014-08-22T20:55:30+00:00

I refute this.

Love is energy, love is projection.

The fact that women love their children means she has the mechanism to do this.

The fact that it is not used for men normally has its reasons.

But you should in theory be able to if you train her.

Like with many things women needs to be trained, she cannot do it herself.

You are the dominant one and she is the submissive one, simply make her love you,let her relax, engage her imagination make her go outside of herself and into you.

Another experiment you can do is take ego dissolving drugs(DMT) when you are fucking.

MuchmaQuchi · 2014-08-21T19:35:16+00:00

I heard what you have to say but I'll take the down votes and disagree. I don't think anyone can tell anyone else how they can love. I'm sure there is a women out there who loves her husband enough to die for him.

Burner1701 · 2014-08-21T12:10:16+00:00

So....I'm guessing your mother very obviously loved you more than she loved your Dad and you resented her for it. Now you believe every woman is your mother.

2014-08-22T00:56:36+00:00

You know how men have a long history of self-sacrifice for the good of their families? Throughout history men have jumped on grenades, thrown themselves in front of bullets, and faced certain death in the hope that they would save their women/children. As a man, you have that capacity for your woman and your kids. Women have it only for their kids.

So what TRP is actually telling us is to go be gay and adopt. That's what I'm getting out of all of this.

Idaho_Ent · 2014-08-21T19:37:08+00:00

Subscribed, voted, unsubscribed. Welcome to the public domain. Stupid rule. Ban me, i give a fuck.

The single biggest misunderstanding between men and women. How to go from a Beta mindset to an Alpha mindset in minutes.

Comments

1 can now be overcome by renting a surrogate and buying the eggs of a 20 year old 5'10", Harvard Graduate...

Title	The single biggest misunderstanding between men and women. How to go from a Beta mindset to an Alpha mindset in minutes.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	467
Comments	236
Date	August 21, 2014 10:58 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2e64gw/the_single_biggest_misunderstanding_between_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-single-biggest-misunderstanding-between-men.19785 https://theredarchive.com/post/19785