23F and am coming up on a year of no sex.

2021-08-05T07:15:36+00:00

I would laugh at you for thinking that this is something to be concerned about.

TimelyDab · 2021-08-05T12:39:36+00:00

Do you want to have sex with more people? If you do go for it but there is nothing wrong with not having sex for a while and I can't imagine that almost any guy you are about to have sex with would care that it was over a year ago since you had sex. They will just be excited that they are about to have sex lol. They might like that tbh who knows.

Source: am guy

hsmwill3 · 2021-08-05T07:50:29+00:00

I (27M) would find having those standards for yourself extremely attractive in a women and think it’s very rare to find someone like that.

Stick to your guns, don’t sleep with someone you don’t connect with for the sake of it.

If anyone did find it strange it’s probably because they’re insecure themselves.

And if you’re not satisfied sexually, find a way to do this yourself.. honestly you’re completely fine.

leelbeach · 2021-08-05T12:14:13+00:00

1 year without sex? Im doing this for 18 years now. What ya talking about? 😂

dirtysideacc2020 · 2021-08-05T08:41:54+00:00

It's literally your decision, and you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. All the blahblah about this "raising your value" is just as much bullshit as considering it wrong in some way. You do you, and if a guy doesn't respect that, he's not worth it.

deerpussy69 · 2021-08-05T08:37:45+00:00

At least you've got morals. Don't fall for the bullshit hookup culture crap, do what you enjoy and when the time comes I'm sure you'll find someone when you're ready.

PatientAssociation62 · 2021-08-05T13:07:16+00:00

Don't feel bad about it at all. Make the decision that is right for you. If you don't feel like you have anyone worthwhile to have sex with, then don't. A lot of dudes like that and respect that, I know I do. I'm frankly put off by the idea of having sex with a woman I just met and went out on 3 dates with, I find it gross. Any decent guy, especially older, will want not just a sex partner but someone that he can see having a future with.

Theunaticus · 2021-08-05T14:12:23+00:00

I'm coming up on 21 years of no sex, lol

Daftneal · 2021-08-05T15:03:59+00:00

Lmao....noob...it's been 21 years here

JXphile4 · 2021-08-05T07:34:01+00:00

Don’t meet men at bars or parties. Go to supermarkets, open mic nights, coffee/bake shops, bowling alley, the theatre (not cinema), outdoor stuff. A guy who’s not a partyer looking for one night stands will most likely be at a place like that.

It’s nothing to be worried about. You’re actually preserving your relationship value by not having a “hoe” phase. Your next bf could be your husband and he’ll trust you for not having had lots of sex with different guys.

2021-08-05T09:58:44+00:00

Only a year? Lol

Vivid-Conclusion8521 · 2021-08-05T12:42:13+00:00

Maybe it’s because you’re 23. No one likes you when you’re 23

2021-08-05T10:34:10+00:00

Tbh ur the kind of girl i’d want to try a relationship with. That’s a pretty attractive mindset at-least for me.

iamushu · 2021-08-05T11:16:34+00:00

I always thought girls can have sex whenever they want. Specially early 20s

ltsbrtnybtch · 2021-08-05T12:31:05+00:00

In this past year, did you click with someone well enough to have sex with him?

If yes, why didn't it happen? Did you took a step back, or did the guy?

It might be that even if you want a hookup, you will have that with a certain kind of guy. And the last year being a lockdown; seriously dampened the connections between people. Maybe you haven't met that particular kind, who knows.

Being an attractive woman, like you described yourself, if you want a guy, you can get one in a snap. It is that easy for a woman, of course, if you take the lead and initiate yourself and if you open up your filters.

I am a male 34 yr old, Moved to a new country just before the world locked down, and I have been sexless since then. And I don't even know why; there can be a hundred reasons, or there can be none. Haha.

You are not alone if that is a solace!

Midnight5un · 2021-08-05T13:18:06+00:00

Do whatever you're comfortable w/. If it makes you uncomfortable to have casual sex then don't do it. You shouldn't feel pressured. If the guys aren't understanding I'm sure being young and pretty you'll have no problem finding another one that will.

likelyilllike · 2021-08-05T14:53:32+00:00

Be careful of stds and i suggest enjoy your youth.

idrinkapplejuice42 · 2021-08-05T11:12:29+00:00

Lol imagine being a woman

DarkSun18 · 2021-08-05T12:45:39+00:00

Girl i haven’t had sex in like 5+ years, its ok. If a man finds it weird, he’s probably not worth it.

ThatGuy_Nick9 · 2021-08-05T14:54:12+00:00

A whole year is a long time for anyone, but it sounds like you may still be hung up on past relationships so building romantic interest may be more difficult for a bit. Just keep doing you, a rebound can often be a good way to get your feet back under you but for others they may feel worse than before. You’re young and pretty (as you say) so just go at your own pace and jump back out there when YOU (not your friends) are ready 👍🏼

I wouldn’t imagine guys would think you’re strange for sharing that information as long as they understand where you’re coming from relationship-wise

whiplash81 · 2021-08-05T20:25:22+00:00

Try connecting with guys at events outside of bars and friends. Apps like Meet Up have a great system for finding groups of people based on similar interests as your own. This way, you'll have a better chance at meeting new guys who will text back instead of looking for a one night stand.

javaperson12 · 2021-08-05T08:45:37+00:00

Lol...

AloofusMaximus · 2021-08-05T14:29:15+00:00

feel comfortable having sex with strangers and rarely click with guys enough to do that.

Nothing wrong with that, we all have our standards. Personally I look for women that I enjoy spending time with, and try for something ongoing (but not serious/LTR). Endless ONS are far too time intensive for my taste

Should I be having sex more as a pretty and young girl who loves the party scene?

So I'm going to say I think having regular sex is part of being healthy. Though that's for YOU to decide. Don't let someone else's values determine your life choices.

You could always give OLD a try. Also kind of get an idea of what you're looking for beforehand (like an ongoing FWB, a new boyfriend, casual dating, etc(. A lot of guys your age (and in general) are going to be pretty needy, and have underdeveloped sense of self. You might have to go on quite a few dates until you find what you're looking for.

quantumactual · 2021-08-05T14:52:20+00:00

You’d consider sex with your guy friends...this is why no one trusts women and men being friends, lol.

Nonetheless, if you don’t want to have sex then don’t. No one thinks you’re weird for it. There’s this idea in America where you have to have casual sex in order to be fulfilled in life, I think it’s the opposite.

The more sex you have with rando’s, the more of your essence you give away. So yes, make it worth it.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-08-05T08:25:25+00:00

I've slept with a ton of girls like yourself.

I think it's kinda normal.

Tell the guy, it'll will boost your value to the guy.

some-longhair · 2021-08-05T12:31:11+00:00

Amateur. This month marks six years for me. Not by choice. My ex wife emasculated me so bad. I'll never have the confidence to be with another woman again.

2021-08-05T07:43:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheSunshineMan · 2021-08-05T07:45:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rangamatchstick · 2021-08-05T12:40:26+00:00

Dont just root around, as someone who has its just a number and not even as close to how good it is with someone you truly care about, date lots, pick your partner and let the good times role from there. Side note as a woman in your 20's you hold the power, use it.

Docarky · 2021-08-05T13:52:05+00:00

No, you are special. You need someone for a LTR, with good sex drive. You can find plenty of guys

Theunaticus · 2021-08-05T14:12:32+00:00

I'm coming up on 21 years of no sex, lol

probablysomeonecool · 2021-08-05T14:47:57+00:00

RIP your inbox,

but also RIP your "in box" if you know what I mean

softwaresalesman55 · 2021-08-05T15:10:05+00:00

Where do you live?

2021-08-05T15:14:33+00:00

Do your own thing. If you want to have sex with strangers fine. If you're not comfortable with that, same thing. Don't let anyone influence you into doing anything you don't want to. Personally, I'm a guy and I have no interest in casual sex. I'd rather a friends with benefits type thing or a bf-gf situation, but that's just me. You should seek what you want friend.

ignitedwolf9200 · 2021-08-05T15:18:24+00:00

It’s not strange. I’m 24F and on the same boat as you. Don’t care for sex with strangers in the least. Someone’s sweaty body hovering over me isn’t appealing whatsoever. I don’t think anyone would find this strange!

Western-Bite1759 · 2021-08-05T15:26:16+00:00

Well just know that it's perfectly ok to be in your situation. You have standards and you respect yourself. It's a good thing.

Now if you do want to have sex, but you aren't comfortable with strangers, well get to know the guys you meet. Text them first if you are really interested. It sure would get my attention since it's pretty rare.

If a guy doesn't text you after they get your number, they either don't know how to approach the situation or they think that it will just be another contact that will lead no where. I often do that, which is something that I shouldn't do lol.

Anyways, best of luck to you!

AJAY_SS · 2021-08-05T15:33:55+00:00

I (24M) am experiencing the exact same thing. I like meeting women and play with them at bars. Becoming this intimate with someone I don't know is not something I'd prefer to do.

For me personally, i just need more acceptance of this 'preference'.

Hope my thought helps :)

the_spankles · 2021-08-05T15:34:43+00:00

Also, I think its normal to feel a little lost when coming out of a long relationship

leppy103 · 2021-08-05T16:04:54+00:00

I'm 31m And I can't have sex with strangers. My friends can go to a bar and pick up girls for a one night stand. But to me I got to have a some kind of connection or something. I can't stand the feeling of just using women like that. And I rarely drink so its also weird if I'm at a bar drinking water on the rocks just sitting there. And I my self going though long time without sex. I think my longest is 3 years until I try to find someone to date or get into a relationship with then it doesn't work out. Then I have to start over again.

scolireaper55 · 2021-08-05T16:10:21+00:00

Just be up front, direct, and honest with your intentions. Communication is key.

BestWesterChester · 2021-08-05T16:42:49+00:00

Sorry, I’m an old man (50), so take this how you want. There are lots of risks associated with casual sex (disease, pregnancy, violence), and if it’s not something you really want, don’t. It’s easy to find a willing man if you really want to, but only if it’s for yourself.

MentalCelOmega · 2021-08-05T16:46:47+00:00

HAHAHAHA. Try coming up 29 years of never having sex due to things that you cannot control. Just breath and post something on your social media platforms and you will have droves of guys wanting. Getting sex and a partner is extremely easy for a female.

Rezon101 · 2021-08-05T17:13:51+00:00

Well that's crazy. I'm 21 and I'm coming up on 21 years of no sex

flipster007 · 2021-08-05T17:29:25+00:00

I'm down fix that. 🍿🐧

5555--55 · 2021-08-05T17:35:47+00:00

You don't need anyone, just believe in yourself and shoot your shot. Life will surprise you soon.

Dwaynedibley24601 · 2021-08-05T17:57:01+00:00

A year? this is Reddit! Those are rookie numbers... You gotta pump those numbers up!

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-08-05T18:11:02+00:00

Sounds like you need to meet some guys.

What do you like to do for fun? Find a way to do it in a group setting so you have to talk to men. Dating apps are also good because you can chat online and find a connection that way.

Most of the other commenters here are right about avoiding hooking up when you don't want to. The sex will be bad and just feel like a chore.

tyalanm · 2021-08-05T18:36:18+00:00

Guys at bars rarely text back the next day

Really? I have a hard time believing this. Every guy I know always texts back

VonHindenBiden · 2021-08-05T18:43:00+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PsnxDQvQpw

this is whats normal

catwithahumanface · 2021-08-05T18:44:26+00:00

Maybe consider if you’re demisexual (under the LGBTQ umbrella). Nothing wrong at all, I hope you find what makes you happy. I’m rooting for you dear.

GotThaAcid5tab · 2021-08-05T18:55:00+00:00

I’m a guy who just come out of a 10 year relationship and empty sex really doesn’t appeal to me either.

It’s a good quality I think. Just hold on you’ll find someone. Don’t compromise your own values just because everyone else does it.

thur0806 · 2021-08-05T18:57:45+00:00

(29M) I got married at 21, divorced at 26. At the start I thought I’d be a person that could string together some random hookups and find a FWB. Then I started to focus on myself and realized that isn’t me. I’ve been celibate since my divorce, I wish I could say that I’ve been confident about that decision 100% of the time passed, but that wouldn’t be true. Once every couple of weeks I start to feel lonely, question my motives, and get hard on my self, download tinder again, swipe no for an hour and then feel like shit. You’re going to have great days and bad days. My suggestion? You’re really young, don’t look at couples on social media and think what could be. Don’t listen to your friends’ hookup stories and wonder what you’re doing wrong. You’re a different breed of woman, and YES there’s a market for that. The girl I married was the absolute wrong person for me, but I chose to stay with her to appear as what I believed to be successful. Turns out I’ve been vastly more successful in every avenue of life since she left. Just like you’re different, not all guys want someone who jumps from relationship to relationship, hookup to hookup. I look for a woman that has spent a considerable amount of time by themselves and who knows themselves better than anyone else. I want someone who has good morals (not saying that hooking up is morally wrong) and values that they stick to. You’re 23, with no kids I assume. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Smile, flirt it up with whoever you want. People are like wine, the more time it spends alone in a dark room the better it is.

2021-08-05T18:59:48+00:00

That's perfectly fine. You do what makes you feel comfortable.

Also, I'm 25 and have never had sex, I think you're ok lol.

Former_Title5716 · 2021-08-05T19:00:22+00:00

This is not the thing to be worried about I've gone almost that long with with a girlfriend and I really don't want to have sex with so if you're good looking I have sex with you but hang around long enough for you to get to know me

bman0920 · 2021-08-05T19:27:08+00:00

1 year is nothing come back to me when you’re a virgin

BlueCollarSinner · 2021-08-05T19:37:53+00:00

Turn on the News and you'll see that is the least of your worries.

2021-08-05T19:42:26+00:00

I've been doing this 24nyears... not a big deal

eatout2helpout · 2021-08-05T20:20:30+00:00

its a shame you couldn't get close enough to someone not having sex for over a year will be a great time when you finally do your pussy will feel so tight poor chap will find it difficult not to cum quick and you're really enjoy your pussy being stretched out the first time

2021-08-05T20:21:54+00:00

Sex?

It sounds like you're doing everything in your power to avoid it, while simultaneously complaining about it.

Cheers.

2021-08-05T20:41:29+00:00

I'd try and seek some professional help (if that's an option of course), just to get a grasp of what it is you're actually struggling with. You like sex like every human being, but it sounds like you're the type of person who just doesn't like to partake in casual sex and wants to have relationship. Or you just miss your ex. If these statements don't sound like they fit you then it really should be quite easy to get a fwb if you just put in a little work. Approach a couple of guys (individually of course) you find cute walking down the street and flirt a bit. Make your intentions clear and set up a coffee date or something. 20 minutes in if you feel comfortable you can suggest going back to your/his place. Women, especially attractive women, rarely get turned down.

TioDav3 · 2021-08-05T21:04:20+00:00

Don’t do it just to do it. You stated your standards clearly, you know what you like. If that’s what’s necessary to take a relationship to that level then just keep waiting for what you are seeking. Because trust me, lowering your standards for the sake of getting laid will leave you disappointed 100 percent of the time.

e5roberts1 · 2021-08-05T21:22:00+00:00

Tough to believe but it’s true.

MathematicianSuper58 · 2021-08-05T22:50:08+00:00

I’m a 16 year old virgin you’ll be fine

Gaydame · 2021-08-05T23:11:52+00:00

I would widen your net!

Safe-Investigator271 · 2021-08-30T21:30:51+00:00

O p if you dont want sex, fine, its your world and your rules

Title	23F and am coming up on a year of no sex.
Author	ltsbrtnybtch
Upvotes	124
Comments	133
Date	August 5, 2021 7:12 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oycbwe/23f_and_am_coming_up_on_a_year_of_no_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/23f-and-am-coming-up-on-a-year-of-no-sex.1278914 https://theredarchive.com/post/1278914

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