28 year old Virgin. Help me out guys

Quartrez · 2024-12-31T20:24:45+00:00

You can read all the books, watch all the videos, at the end of the day, the only thing that will get you results is to start talking to women and asking them out on dates.

Other-Style1958 · 2024-12-31T20:28:40+00:00

I would work on expanding/developing a social circle

Look for things to do on eventbrite

Ask your colleagues their plans for the week/weekend because you are new and want to learn about the area. Do not hit on them

Start your journey with fitness. Can be you walking in a local walk or jog group, find those.

Go to a wine and paint thing on Groupon and take it seriously because that would be funny

Why or what happened with not losing virginity? Knowing that will lead to better advice

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2024-12-31T20:40:03+00:00

I moved to a new city a few years ago. Though I wasnt a virgin at the time I woudlnt say I was killing it either. I wanted to redefine my life and I wanted to go out more for a good time and sow some wild oats. I owudlnt say I slayed non-stop but I did decent.

First off, if you dont already, try to dress better and grow a beard and keep it groomed. These will not guarantee girls but they help. It's good you are working on your body. If you get a 6-pack dont expect girls to come in herds towards you. The most important thing is social skills, grooming, dressing well and a nice body help but remember girls ahve options so there's plenty of fit guys flirting with them already. The ones who succeed are the ones who know what to say.

For me Id say the first thing is to get firends so you can go out to the bars with. Friends are a nice safety net because it's hard to go to a bar by yourself. But when you do go to bars do NOT stay at your friends hip. Go around and socialize with people. To make friends what helped me was going to Meetups from the Meetup App. If you dont know what it si, it's like FB events but better. It's not the best but it works. It usually is big in big cities, and in my experience each city has about 2-3 good regualr meetups. Go to these to make friends, not for hooking up. The ratio is pretty bad at these things (usually liek 3:1 male) and girls tend to get swarmed. So it's a terrible place to meet girls. What you can do is dont be the weird guy when you are talking to girls. Get everybody's number (guys and girls). There's times I met girls and they were getting swarmed so I basically told them about a cool bar we could go to and the girls would want to go to experience the city away from creepy and nergy guys. When you make friends, just send a text to everybody and organzie nights out and see what sticks.

When you are out at bars, be the social butterfly. Dont be the nice agreeble guy to girls. Talk to guys and girls. When you talk toa girl they will notice what your intention is and if they feel like you are just trying to fuck they will put their guards up. Girls like the social butterfly who is there for a good time with friends and who will shoot the shit with them. Dont be an AH but dont be the nice guy.

An example I like using is this. If you disagree with a girl about your favorite fast and furious movie and you say 5 but she says 6 there are 2 types of responses:

Nice guy: "I can see how you feel that way I just think 5 is better".

Risky: "Why would you even consider that 6 is better than 5. 5 is where they got the crew together the first time. It's got the funny spanish guys. I dont htink there is anything you can say that can convince me that 6 is better. why would you think that?"

The nice guy response ends the conversation there, the girl doesnt hate you but you didnt make any imprint in her mind and now you are fumbling to make up a new conversation. The risky conversation can go anywhere. If said in the right way at the right moment with the right girl, it will create a back and forth and now you guys got a flirty back and forth going. Some girls might not like the way you said it or the way you came off. It';s a risk you got to take. Just keep it respectful and keep it moving if it didnt work.

If you are at a club, go to the middle and grab any single girl and start dancing with them. i fyou gusy are being handsy. Go for the kiss, if you get rejected hold your head high, be respectful and keep it moving. Casual dating scene is all about taking risks. It sucks getting rejected and feelig like an idiot but it's just the way it goes. If you wait for the perfect moment, it will never happen. You have to create the perfect moment.

Im sure there will be other commenters with their own ideas and tips. There is no one right answer. It's different for everybody.

Traditional_Win4902 · 2025-01-01T02:32:29+00:00

Work on yourself for sure first. Get fit and dress well, maybe get some piercings or a tattoo. I can tell you from me, I’m introverted and quiet for the most part. But as soon as I started working out, slimmed out, got some piercings and exposed myself to social gatherings, you’ll definitely catch an eye of one.

Smile-Murky · 2024-12-31T22:28:57+00:00

I guess my opinion on this can be a little controversial, but maybe you should hire a SW. Just for the first time, so you could get this out of the way. Being 28 and still a virgin can have a lot of social pressure, especially if it comes up during one of your dates.

ChaseMcDude927 · 2025-01-02T00:35:15+00:00

There’s a formula to getting over approach anxiety. It feels cringe at first but by doing it, you’re already taking more action than 99% of men.

Just go for a walk through a place with lots of people. Do 5 warm up approaches. Both guys and girls. Just get comfortable talking to people. E.g: “hey I love your dog/nice shoes man/that hat is sick”

Then, start small with women. I got more comfortable by literally just going up and asking if they had the time; they always obliged. Once you feel good at that, then you can start approaching with intent.

Direct openers work the best imo. “Hey, this is random but I liked your energy and wanted to meet you” (then name, handshake).

Remember that it’s not a race, and it’s never too late to start taking action. Good luck my friend!

Btw, The Game isn’t terrible, but it is a slightly outdated book that relies on performing (impressing women) and some degree of manipulation. The are way better books out there. Models by Mark Manson is by-far the best if you want to attract women in the most authentic way possible.

Novel_Demand · 2024-12-31T21:17:45+00:00

Work on your looks man, women can be shallow AF. Good skin care, good hygiene, no bad breath please, be fit and also don't be a fucking weirdo/creep. When you look good then your self confidence will ooze out. Confidence is critical

StrikingImportance39 · 2024-12-31T20:34:22+00:00

Being a new guy in a city is an advantage.

U always have a good reason to ask for number.

Able-Yogurtcloset838 · 2025-01-01T02:02:02+00:00

Also: JOIN SOCIAL GROUPS! There you can meet women with whom you have something in common to talk about. School reunions and alumni functions! Meetup groups! Volunteer with an organization you care about! Join hikers’ groups! Cycling groups! If you’re with people with whom you share interests, that takes a lot of the “cold” out of the approach.

Wallee3D · 2025-01-01T14:46:14+00:00

Daytime cold approach girls on college universities, and low socioeconomic areas. Target fat girls, and sub fives.Use that to boost your confidence. At this rate, you don't have the option to be picky, experiment around and see what your smv is and stick with that for now.

Strong-Dependent-905 · 2025-01-01T16:46:22+00:00

Okay dude take notes

Unpopular opinion consider a prostitute or escort

It will take the pressure of having this "big" thing to happen. After this you could either work on being more social.... basically it boils down to these things:

Beeing physically attractive ( decent clothing, well groomed, a good cologne, haircut that suits your age and is a good fit with your body, hit the gym)
Having a purpose something that gets you excited to talk about doesn't matter what it is
Income and steady life so you have your shit handled (helps if you want a girlfriend less important for hookups)
Conversational skills ( charming, flirtatious, not playing it safe, direct, eye contact, touching her in appropriate ways as convo progresses, knowing how to escelate, understanding choosing signals, engaging the group, making statements, telling engaging stories, maintaining good posture, not fidgeting, not Beeing overly nice, neutral or downward going tonation, qualifying the girl. (Lots to learn in this department as its also where most people f up.)
Skills in bed (takes time, hence why I suggest getting it over with so you have some experience) also make sure you know how to kiss and take the lead. Nothing worse than bad kissers

Get yourself in envoirments with lots of woman, yoga, social events, start getting into cold approach.

Optionally what's gotten me laid the most (Go on a backpack trip and spend lots of time in hostels)

Pro tips: 1. Find a mentor 2. Find people who want to get this aspect handled and exchange tips and wingman eachother 3.Have lots of female friends(you friendzone them so they introduce you to other hot females) 4. HAVE AT LEAST 1 FRIEND GROUP OF COOL PEOPLE WHO DO STUFF WITH THEIR LIFE.

Hope this help legend you got this💪🏼💪🏼

Dynamix86 · 2025-01-01T16:54:39+00:00

Best resources (after being 10 years into game):
The Blueprint from Tyler Durden (RSD)
The Manual from W. Anton

And as a Youtube channel Alpha Male Strategies, Entrepeneurs in cars and Apex Mindset are all excellent teachers of highly valuable information.

throwawayofc1112 · 2025-01-01T20:44:59+00:00

You gotta get out there and practice broski, go out to the bar at least 1 or 2x a week and just get comfortable talking to different girls there. Then work on escalation. Try to apply what you learn in the book when you’re out. Don’t get stuck just researching but instead practice practice practice

KofiDreedZ · 2025-01-01T22:00:31+00:00

It does not matter how many books you read, put yourself out there, you see a cute girl in the street go speak to her. She might say no, but atleast you knew the outcome of the interaction instead of playing the “what if” scenario in your head. The more you do this the easier it starts to become.

Agreeable_Champion35 · 2025-01-01T22:11:40+00:00

Just get a hooker. It’s normal in every other part of the world. The wealthy use them because it saves time and headaches. Knock the urge out like a kid who wants ice cream. Build up your social skills to find a partner while you pay to play.

Btw if you feel like you need to leave the country for the experience just take a vacation and go. It’s not a big deal. Like I said it’s normal to pay for sex in countries all over the world.

MyAlterEgoIsAlive · 2025-01-02T00:58:40+00:00

Do what The Game says

AssistantWeekly6134 · 2024-12-31T21:37:45+00:00

You can be the best looking and richest dude in the world, but we all had to fail before succeeding. You put yourself first and don’t take women seriously, they are fickle. Learn how they talk, think, and react to you. Don’t be afraid of failure and rejection, it means you’re progressing closer to what you want.

Conscious-Smell-8844 · 2025-01-01T02:55:46+00:00

Are you in NY/NYC area? Ill game with you

SluttyJello · 2025-01-01T05:14:52+00:00

I remember when this used to be me but this was at 15-16. Now it's been pretty casual to get sex to where i almost don't care about it anymore. Look up Simple Pickup torrents. It'll change your life. It's a shame they took all their stuff down :/

gabo03015 · 2025-01-01T05:56:10+00:00

The manual from W Anton will change your life forever

asikscofield · 2025-01-01T07:26:07+00:00

Idk which city you are from, but you can try opening a catfish social account.

Your next step is going to target the girl you wanna go laid. Once done with segmentation, collect their social accounts. Like IG, facebook.

Try to knock them with appropriate, gentle approach. Tell them you are a guy with 28 years of age. Doing this that & want this from her hence you knocked her.

Once you start reaching out, then this gonna become statistical game.

If you knock 10 girls, at least two among them gonna reply you back. & with one you can actually get laid.

isaacnewtonx40 · 2025-01-01T07:51:41+00:00

I went from losing my virginity to sleeping with 9 chicks the same year after I read the mystery method. My best advice would be to learn what to do then stop thinking and start doing.

Ok-Funny-19 · 2025-01-01T08:27:30+00:00

Making fun of yourself before anybody else can is a great defense mechanism, a smile says a lot more than you think. Just remember those things.

goldenshower27 · 2025-01-01T14:43:52+00:00

You should go friend mode with the girls in your office and they may invite you out so you could meet their friends

stanley105 · 2025-01-01T14:45:01+00:00

Hire a hooker if it’s such a big deal

cj2kshow · 2025-01-01T16:03:05+00:00

I was a virgin well into my 20s. The main thing was I wasn’t assertive and the opportunities were far and few in between.

On dates I escalate as soon as possible and I just try to have a life that puts me into those positions.

Being 6’2 and not ugly helps but I’m autistic and I generally don’t approach anyone first. Most of my experience is from people I met through dating apps.

Unknown295828389291 · 2025-01-02T01:05:32+00:00

Find a mentor in your city

Eastern_Brother6804 · 2025-01-03T18:31:36+00:00

Take action, break the mind son

KrustyKrabConnor · 2025-02-08T22:48:55+00:00

If you approach a girl with the goal in mind of sex she's going to catch on very quickly. Just approach them with intentions of being friends then eventually introduce the idea of dating then sex will come with that.

hungry_butterfly22 · 2025-03-19T01:37:07+00:00

I can help you out

hungry_butterfly22 · 2025-03-19T01:40:57+00:00

Be kind, be confident, flirt and shoot your shot, what’s the worst that can happen? Everyone saying get fit dress well it’s not about that, just be funny and assertive, it always works

dartmorth · 2024-12-31T21:56:51+00:00

You're thinking way too much about it. Go to a bar talk to any girl, dance a little, have some conversation, whatever, and get laid. I promise if you don't cum off as desperate you'll get laid.

NeonTangoDancer · 2024-12-31T21:02:26+00:00

I'm in the same boat, exact age. I came close on November 27 but due to an unfortunate miscommunication on my end I ended up with nothing. In hindsight I don't necessarily regret it because I wasn't ready anyways and she was only in town for the holidays. I am seeking something sustainable.

Radiant_Ad2782 · 2024-12-31T22:22:54+00:00

I mean i wonder what you look like, how you dress , posture , what's the confidence like , low I would assume, You work around women what helped me get comfortable is giving women some friendly compliments even if you aren't interested in them be genuine then it comes naturally. Also don't take it the wrong way and shower them with compliments lmao

Quartrez · 2024-12-31T20:25:10+00:00

You can read all the books, watch all the videos, at the end of the day, the only thing that will get you results is to start talking to women and asking them out on dates.

ExtremeMap6563 · 2024-12-31T21:41:22+00:00

About not losing virginity : I have had the opportunity five times. Gonna write about three of them First in college. I asked the girl out for prom. We danced and shit. Everything went great. Later that night, we went outside the college for coffee. We even went to my hostel room to get the jacket as it was getting cold. I had the chance but didn't realise it. Later one of my friends told me she is not even that hot. So, I did not pursue her.

Second opportunity I had during my first job. I got into a verbal spat with a colleague of mine on the WhatsApp group. We used to work remotely. She was kinda hot though. Two months down the line we met in an office get together. It was my birthday. 8-10 of us went to the club later that night. She texted me about going to a hotel or something while sitting right there. Putting her arms over my shoulder while dancing. But I had already purchased an expensive bottle of whiskey to have fun with my other colleagues. Also, I was kinda afraid as we had a fight earlier and now she is hitting on me and stuff So, I told her I already have plans and maybe we can do that tomorrow and went with my friends. I called her the next day but she was no longer interested.

The third time a girl approached me while we were attending a class. I was preparing for some competitive exams that time. She sat right beside me and asked for my number. She was literally the cutest and fun girl I had ever met. I thought we clicked and vibed together. We used to go out for juice/milkshakes after the class. I liked her but didn't know how to take things forward. One day, I asked her out for drinks over the chat but she declined. I started ignoring her later so, one day, out of the blue she called me and asked me to meet her after the class. Me wet and I blew it up by debating on spirituality the entire time. She stopped sitting next to me in the class after that day.

florida1state · 2024-12-31T22:37:23+00:00

If you want to get it out of your system. Just hired an escort and get it out of the way.

ICU-812 · 2024-12-31T20:52:41+00:00

Based solely on the title, I'd say you're already one of the snartest men alive.

KoleSekor · 2024-12-31T21:25:28+00:00

Hey man, I wrote a book and I coach guys to help them with this exact situation - plus you can try the coaching out and have the book for free - so definitely hit me up if you'd like to explore working with someone to help you get results with women.

Cosephtaughtyou · 2024-12-31T21:40:20+00:00

If I help you out then I call dibs.

dnavi · 2024-12-31T21:41:30+00:00

You have to approach a girl. It's literally the only way to get the ball rolling. It's weird at first but once you get used to it you probably can't stop.

Safe-Battle-1894 · 2024-12-31T23:38:37+00:00

it’s not all that great. Sex I mean

Foxito_007 · 2025-01-01T00:04:10+00:00

If you want to step up your game, invest in your appearance a lot (dress to impress and once a week go to the hairdresser) and try to be more fun don’t be boring. Learn the art of psychology: lying, manipulation, hot and cold, push and pull. If a girl wants a relationship, bluff that you do too. Read up on human behavior, never show you’re needy, and sell her dreams. Try out multiple dating apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Badoo, and make sure your photos and bio stand out

If you get rejected, don’t take it personally. Some months, I might hook up with four girls, but other months, four girls might reject me. It’s all part of the game, so don’t let it get to you. Remember, 5% of guys are the ones who score with most girls, while the rest are like you but with time you ll get better

Good luck

KongWick · 2024-12-31T21:11:17+00:00

Literally just go on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge.

Then invite girls to first date to get drinks at night, after dark.

Then during the date, kiss them a little bit.

Have 2+ drinks each.

After 2 hours, invite her back to your house.

Title	28 year old Virgin. Help me out guys
Author	ExtremeMap6563
Upvotes	74
Comments	128
Date	December 31, 2024 8:18 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1hqn3l4/28_year_old_virgin_help_me_out_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/28-year-old-virgin-help-me-out-guys.1540028 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540028

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