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[–]ftdrain 185 points186 points187 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is truth most of the time, you do get your oddball here and there, you gotta look for the patterns, some people really dont use social media much, that said, I doubt that a girl thats really into you waits 24+hrs to respond
[–]VeliVoy 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also, try seeing if she often texts you first if you ever forget to or not or if it's just you texting first all the time.
[–]19Black 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have a 12 hour rule. No matter how busy a woman is, if she is interested, she will respond to your message within 12 hours. While there are exceptions, it’s a general rule that I find exists even when I have been talking/flirting with ER doctors, lawyers, etc.
[–]VeliVoy 199 points200 points201 points 4 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Men would be out there double texting thinking maybe she missed my text. Nah bro, she saw the text, read it from the notification bar and chose to intentionally ignore you lmao
[–]aftercarethings 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
This is true. I’m guilty of seeing the preview in my notifications but not opening it for it to show as read. Granted I do this after I tell the guy countless times that I’m busy. Some people just can’t take the hint
[–]VeliVoy 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
That's what I am saying. They are not interested, so move on and find another girl. Next her quick instead of wasting time there.
[–]willgo-waggins 41 points42 points43 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
She didn’t say not interested.
She said BUSY.
Understand the difference. I work in surgery for a living. I’m not fucking texting almost a whole ten hour shift when I am at work. My girl, friends and family know this. They don’t worry about it. They send whatever things they want me to know or respond to.
Conversely my girl is a terrible texter. But she has learned to be very good with me. And still she is a professional, often in meetings and dealing with work issues. She also doesn’t respond when she is working out or running. So I know she will answer when she is able to and I don’t sweat it.
These “rules” about texting are idiotic. They are made for OLD messaging. Not direct communication with someone you already have a rapport or relationship with.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Ilovethaiicedtea 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She's a waste of time even if she's being real. Big part of dating is planning tbh, do you wanna have to plan everything around someone else's poor time management ad infinitum?
[–]willgo-waggins -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So that’s an entirely different situation.
If you have gotten to that point it’s an absolutely pull back and wait and see.
Even with my girl I play that pull back sometimes when she’s being lax.
[–]samYELLjacksin 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Agree somewhat but there’s another side to that where the “old rule” still holds true. As a former simp, I fondly recall this girl that I liked, she never texted me first and everytime I texted her she would take hours to respond back. We had good rapport nothing physical yet tho and then one time when we were hanging out, the guy she was actually getting dick from (to which I later found out) would text her…she would immediately text back and check her phone every few minutes for a while seemingly so to see if he texted her. All the while before saying to me she’s “a bad texter” So in summary, forgetting any mistakes that I made and for anyone pursuing a girl…there is something to be said that’s true about these rules and what /u/velivoy posted
[–]VeliVoy 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Same happened with me as well. Exact same. I later came to know that she used to anxiously get up and check her phone in middle of the night thinking the guy texted her when he actually didn't. She was so obsessed, meanwhile still telling me she was too busy.
[–]samYELLjacksin 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fucking bitches man lol
[–]willgo-waggins -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No.
Some that act like this yes.
But don’t make the mistake of trying to class all women as “ducking bitches”.
[–]willgo-waggins -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely.
There is no hard and fast. You need to run each situation as it comes and handle it appropriately.
[–]ddl_smurf 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, "I'm busy" means they're busy. Only use it if you are busy and do intend to get back. Sending "hints" like this is stupid, if you can't muster up the courage to say you're not interested, then don't say anything. Replying "busy" should be kept for when what it means happens, and is not a discouragement, the opposite. If all the girls you contact are never actually busy, as the title suggests, something weird is happening.
[–]bluedrygrass 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You're the perfect example of what op is talking about.
And you obviously don’t get women and likely aren’t scoring.
Meanwhile I’m out wine tasting and getting blown between wineries by my side chick.
Who wins this?
[–]tjteraji91185 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sure you are buddy
[–]aftercarethings 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I’m not disagreeing with you at all. I wish some men were as observant as you and just stop trying to reach out after the woman doesn’t respond. It would save me having to put my foot down and giving them a firm “no” from asking the same question repeatedly.
[–]32_hazards 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is true but to act like women can't be busy as well is misleading
[–]sel9 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Im going through something similar myself. Only thing is, when I text her it’s usually to make plans, and she never hesitates to say yes. Don’t know if she wants to lead me into being friends with benefits because of the way we act we in person or if she wants to have me as “backup” like OP says. Help!!
[–]VeliVoy 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Does she ever text you first when you don't text her first? Don't text her for a while and see how long it takes for her to notice your absence
[–]sel9 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Recently no, doesn’t take initiative to contact me first, and neither do I show her that I’m bothered by it. At the same time, I don’t want to take my foot off the gas because if I do, then I might just lose for trying to act like “the prize”. So I just text her whenever I’m bored to make plans and she’s always happened to say yes
[–]VeliVoy 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Did you try to escalate on your dates? How did she respond to that?
[–]sel9 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did actually, Make out session in fact. Very smart with the little hints she throws at you, which is why I believe she’s interested in hooking up. Not only that but the vibe she gives off just shows that she’s down with anything you say. But there’s still an atmosphere of confusion due to a bit of her absence but not wanting to drop me completely, you know?
[–]sel9 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Talk to me OP. what do you think? in serious need of help
[–]VeliVoy 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Take the shot, if your goals a relationship be straight up if you wanna be just FWB keep doing what you doing rn.
[–]sel9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
definitely not a relationship. Im going in, and out, OP. IN AND OUT.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lalalalalabadman 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't touch the nipples till they are erect.
Never heard that one before. Is it just because it's more fun for her if you tease, or do some girls actually respond poorly to having their nipples touched any earlier than that? Like, obviously you don't usually start with the nipple but I usually don't get anything overtly negative if I get there after 30-90 seconds.
[–]Hymlock_1138 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good luck brother!
[–]VeliVoy 53 points54 points55 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Also, a girl only texting you whenever she has to have some work done. It's a huge red flag.
[–]Codi_Banks 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What does "have some work done" mean?
[–]invaderjif 75 points76 points77 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If she's on the phone talking to you when driving somewhere, getting groceries, cleaning, essentially using you as background noise.
[–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Interesting observation
[–]invaderjif 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This behavior isn't disrespectful on its own (the context of the relationship should be considered).
An old friend trying to keep in touch might get some slack. A new girl you're trying to build a relationship ship with...that's not going to work.
[–]2old2beCool -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But he said “texting”.
[–]burakbenxd 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This happened to me in undergrad, girl would text me every Wednesday before the chemistry homework was due.. 🤓
[–]saulisdating 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
This is starting to sound like the r/niceguys subreddit.
Go there and you’ll see tons of guys screw up their chances with women completely when they go off on a girl after she doesn’t reply in an hour or during the day or something, when the girl was actually very interested in the guy…
Women have a life. Your comment to your own post where you said about men double texting hoping for a reply but she saw your message and chose to intentionally ignore you sounds bitter as fuck. And just goes to show you’re here trying to post from a warped position of bitterness to find guys like you to agree with you to feed your ego.
Again, women have a life and they’re not required to be at your beck and call.
You need to have a life yourself and talk to women like they’re actual human beings when texting, spiced with a bit of intrigue. Maybe then they’ll want to reply to you.
But Yeah if she doesn’t reply for days - she’s not interested and you should move on.
[–]help-im-alive451 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Screw this paranoid subreddit tbh. The only advice I've used in person that was well thought out didn't work. Lucky for me each woman forgave me and I continued my natural life energy.
A sub that makes someone a good man instead of a nice guy is what will actually help attract women. Before you realize it you'll care more for women and yourself than just pussy 😌 surprise, guess what's next?
[–]ScribbleMonster 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Seriously. I (f) will often leave my mom, sister, husband, friends, etc. on read for a few hours because A) I don't have a good response/answer yet or B) I know one text will lead to 30 minutes+ of texting and I either don't have the free time, energy, or mental capacity for that right now. Wasn't any different when my husband and I were dating. I'm either working, studying, cooking, cleaning, exercising, watching a movie, having an IRL conversation, or about to fall asleep.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think his point still stands though, right?
You texted back in a few hours, not over a day like OP is talking about
[–]ScribbleMonster 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not the staying up late and waking up early to obsess over a new relationship part. Women have things to do and need sleep in between.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Which is 100% accurate, but there are women who will text you like a full 24-48 hours later, and that’s fair to say that they’re not interested
[–]peshnoodles 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fr fr. I have adhd. I will literally look at a text, start replying, and then forget about my phone when something else catches my attention.
This is like, in my top three reasons for why I can’t date online lol
[–]eeoflorida 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Same goes for men...in my experience
[–]Unhappy_Childhood535 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Now I disagree for both men and women, my phone goes away at work for 9 hours due to the psychical nature of it,. It doesn't mean I don't want to talk to someone or am ignoring them
[–]eeoflorida 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean you're one person though out of a sea of how many? I've found in general the same rules apply if a man isn't texting often. Usually in a case like yours he'll communicate first that phone is locked up at work and that's the reason he's sparse
[–]sk07ch 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
People that use the word "never" to speak about either sex are morons tbh.
[–]eeoflorida 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ty. I agree
[–]sk07ch 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's funny, once you distance yourself from using absolutes in language life feels so much lighter.
[–]GrandKingSuperb 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Take the sign and find another woman!
[–]VeliVoy 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And trust me. There are tons of better one, the ones who would be willing to do anything to be with you. And that is the kind of woman every man deserves
[–]burakbenxd 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree completely. Used to talk to a girl, who was in a relationship. But her S/O was in another city. She used to respond instantly, call me in the mornings, we would chill, and do everything together for almost a year.
So her S/O moved near her now, and she’s not texting anymore lol. And she takes a while to respond. Since it was a professional environment although what she was doing wasn’t really professional, I didn’t want to encroach on any boundaries.
Point is a girl that’s interested in you, will respond instantly, and make time for you.
[–]AmberWaves80 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Woof, the codependency you want in a relationship is showing.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m a girl and I just don’t text people back whether it’s friends or family right away in general I just don’t feel like it also I’m a little bit depressed
[–]vardarac 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This seems like such bad advice. There could be an infinite number of reasons a girl doesn't want to immediately project that she wants your dick, and if you only go for women that do you might be waiting a long time or have to lower your standards quite a bit.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
To the people saying life gets busy sometimes blah blah blah, I think you’re missing the point.
Busy people might not respond for a day or two, but when they do, they say, “I’m sorry I missed this text. I’ve been so busy. wanna hang?” This is FUNDAMENTALLY different from radio silence for over 2-3 days, or a huge gap period followed by a 1 word response or a dry sentence.
If you take everything you see on this sub literally, you’re destined to either miss the point or become the pettiest person alive.
Stick to your IOIs (indicators of interest), and you won’t be steered wrong. I promise you. If you’re wondering if she’ll ever text you back after more than 2 text conversations, you probably already know deep down that she isn’t interested. Trust yourself and be realistic. You shouldn’t have to convince anyone that you’re the shit.
[–]VeliVoy -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My point exactly! They're trying to twist what I said so they can feel good about themselves.
[–]KeithJawahir 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
(originally wanted to comment this on your post in r/dating but it was already locked)
Someone once pointed out to me that people are generally on their phones every free moment they get, especially women. and if said girl was as into me as much as I was into her, she would literally run back into a burning house to grab her phone to text me back, and that stuck with me. People can feel how they want to feel about what I"m saying, but it's so very true. If it's not a "FUCK YES!", then it's a "FUCK NO!".
[–]VeliVoy 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💯💯 true. I have seen that happening first hand and tons of ppl talking about this observation as well. It's true. I wouldn't be getting this much hate if I didn't put "woman" there and put men. Then, I would be getting awards lool 😂
[–]LK00_RMC 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Not everyone likes texting 😂 I open text and forget to respond till hrs like hrssss later
[–]nosleepatall 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
But if the one texting is someone you're longing for and hope to get together with, you'd probably wouldn't forget. Forgetting to reply is showing that the sender is just not that important.
[–]LK00_RMC 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Again it is other forms of communication my bf also leaves me on read and will respond later. Won’t hesitate to shoot me a call if I tell him I have to talk or he suspects something happened. He also will answer every call. He loves me. Texting is not that important.
Some ppl really don’t care to text.
[–]Boomslangalang -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Please. You must be young. Texting is just one form of communication and a poor one for the task at that.
[–]Maleficent_Fly_6822 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not just women. Nobody is ever busy to reply but they have their priorities set. So don't take it personally. No sane person has enough time to intentionally hurt you by not replying.
[–]Codi_Banks 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Nobody really enjoys texting with somebody they arent attracted to or interested in, man or woman.
If you're not a super good looking guy then you need to demonstrate some level value to get her invested and give her a reason to be attracted to you. Some guys do nothing to build attraction and try to get at girls with dry boring texts that make her feel like she's filling out an survey. "What are you doing? Where are you from? Do you have any pets? What do you do for fun? What is your favorite food? Etc."
Make her laugh! Or say some crazy shit to shock her and trigger her emotions in some way. Just don't be boring and don't get bitter at women that ignore boring texts. They probably get a bunch of them all the time.
[–]VeliVoy 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You'd be surprised how much options good-looking men have without doing anything. If you don't, just post on Instagram. My advice is for our average looking Joe on here who's being used as a backup man.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
backup man doesn’t just mean not first pick. It means bottom of the barrel/ entertainment and nobody deserves to be that for someone else.
the people that are the backup men op is referring to are a texting buddy and nothing more. The second you start thinking of yourself as a backup man you lose at least 40% of your attractiveness to the majority of people.
And for that list you wrote, the majority of those things don’t matter in a subjective sense, which is almost always more important that objective attractiveness. lots of women don’t exactly know what they’re looking for unless they’re actively searching for a guy, and tons of them vibe with people just b/c their social circle game is on point and they’re charming.
In the example (which is already unrealistic) you’re referring to, neither of them is a backup man. they are both suitable candidates. the one that only gets a response when none of the people she’s actually dating respond to her is the actual backup guy.
also, if the first 10 becomes an ACTUAL backup guy, he should drop her b/c nobody deserves to be strung along like that.
[–]maxpossimpible 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
reality check. YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE SECOND PICK.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A woman who likes you will literally want to talk to you every second of the day. She could even change her daily routine just to make sure you're okay. I learned this the hard way. She gave me this vibe that I'm forcing myself into her life. I still love her, but I had to walk away.
Been there, I cut her off completely too. Still love her but there's no way I am being her backup guy and I agree with you. The girl I rejected for this bitch was literally so obsessed with me, but this bitch kept giving me false commitment so I rejected the other girl meanwhile she was still talking to a guy (better looking than me) she had crush on.
[–]Derpakiinlol 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The fuck are you talking about? People's lives are hectic bro
I barely have enough time to R E L A X these days let alone do the chore of flirting.
[–]VeliVoy 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Then the man is better off without you.
[–]Derpakiinlol 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You miss my point.
Sometimes I only ever message on dating platforms like once or twice a week. I converse in those windows but then my life life re-enters center stage.
People aren't always in a flirt mood and them not replying to you for a day or two is not indicative of their attraction level to you.
People that think like you do, IMHO, need to step back from dating and relax a little if not only but for a week or two
[–]VeliVoy 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not talking about dating apps here. This is after you've went through dating app to start seeing each other
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He's right my guys....The amount of times they were "busy" is such bullshit, girls always have their phones on them, so whenever they go a day without texting me i stop contact when they message me back
[–]pacificin67 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's just all wishful thinking
[–]epimpstyle 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What if she works in a busy place without having time to text you back?
What if she is at the toilette or she is busy washing dishes?
What if she is for a few hours in a shopping center but her phone is in her car?
There are hundreds of examples of why she is not texting you back...
If you have time for texting it means that you are not busy, you are not working, you are not tired. Use texting only to tell her that you want to see her.
[–]luxlove3 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m going through this myself right now. Met a guy (at work) & got along well. Remained in touch, we have been texting daily for about two weeks straight but i notice now he will only text me once a day vs. a few times during the day.. will take that as he is losing interest. Why can’t people just say what they mean & mean what they say? Maybe i should tell Him how this makes me feel? Not sure if that would come on too strong. Just wanted to vent. Thanks if you read this far.
[–]No-Historian-6391 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Age is a huge factor here
[–]willgo-waggins 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is bullshit. You go by this all the time you are leaving a LOT on the table and only hurting yourself and costing yourself opportunities.
No I don’t do double texting unless there is something important I forgot to say. But don’t assume this bullshit because she has a life and doesn’t instantly respond to you. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Grow up and get out of preschool man.
[–]Codi_Banks 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Since you seen to also be against double texting, what exactly do you disagree about with OP? Should a guy keep texting? Instead of moving on and/or waiting for the women to reach out first?
[–]willgo-waggins 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I disagree with the entire premise of the title. It a demeaning and dehumanizing. It does everything the fucking FDS witches accuse us of - objectifying and compartmentalizing women into things/objects instead of treating them as fellow humans.
Think of it this way. If you have a career and are busy all day with it like I am, how would you feel if a woman you are interested in and talking to blew you off because your work kept you from being able to Insta answer every message she sent?
It works both ways.
[–]Codi_Banks 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I get what you mean. OP could certainly have been more tactful about it
how would you feel if a woman you are interested in and talking to blew you off
I though his post referred to women that arent interested. And is he really advocating blowing her off? Or them needing to instantly answering "every" message? I feel like you embellished a few things to make a point there. The more generous interpretation of his point would be something like
Think of it this way. If you have a career and are busy all day with it like I am, how would you feel if a woman you may or may not be interested in stopped messaging you because your work kept you from replying to a message she sent?
That would honestly seem understandable and wouldn't really bother me lol
[–]willgo-waggins 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I’m the same way it doesn’t bother me either or make me suddenly walk away from a near year long relationship.
Damn bro
[–]Jumpingonair 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100% true. I’ve never forgotten to text someone I like. Neither has any of my friends. Male or female.
[–]Frequent_Ambition434 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lies. I write back when I want to, no matter how cute I think you are
[–]Ninjaswagxz 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This is interesting observation! So I actually ended up telling a girl straight up… “your using me for attention” and she ofc denied it saying that she gives me all the attention and why would she do something like that when she gives it to me. Im still kind of on the fence of cutting her off but not sure yet
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How would you advise doing it
[–]VeliVoy 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How much attention is she giving you? Could you elaborate a little? Women often say that when you call them out.
[–]Ninjaswagxz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well she initiated hanging out a couple of times I obliged. But I’ve initiated hanging out more on my part. Also it seems I always text first to initiate conversation
That's how it is - unfortunately.
I have a thing for a girl who, when we meet in a group setting, is very attentive, seeks my proximity, laughs at my jokes, suggests things we could do (together with others).
If I then write her something, ideas what we two could to together, she takes a very long time to answer, answers evasively or doesn't answer at all. She has never written to me of her own accord. I have also stopped writing her anything in the meantime. She writes nothing. But when we meet in our group, she is always super open and friendly to me.
My conclusion: she is interested in casual friendship in a group setting, but nothing more.
[–]FaithInStrangers94 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I go days without replying to people I’m interested or friends or family sometimes if I’m stressed or really busy but I guess I’m an outlier there
[–]griddigus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same
[–]Boomslangalang 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re not an outlier. Most people are busy or distracted. OP’s advice is presented as fact when it’s borderline. He also unironically uses the word “simping”, which is always cause for concern.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wish the rest of this post was as good as the header but yeah, if she doesn’t return a text or a call she’s not interested and she’s inconsiderate.
[–]indecisive_maybe 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean for a one night stand, sure. For a relationship you gotta let it build. I have a job and I can get very busy. I've never had a conversation with a guy where I always responded within 24 hrs, unless the whole convo from hi to bye was done in a day.
[–]big_dong_de_jong 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💯💯
[+][deleted] -8 points-7 points-6 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ya every girl works at a job thats ok with her constantly texting out in the open.
Like what if im asleep. 😆
This sub is endlessly entertaining.
[–]VeliVoy 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is specifically about a girl not texting you whole day long.
The men here are so insecure, it's scary how entitled they are
[+][deleted] -7 points-6 points-5 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Tell us what happen OP. You don't have to project anymore
[–]VeliVoy 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Are you sad for me?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I'm sad she didn't give you the chance you deserve, yes 💔
[–]VeliVoy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What's your intention here? Are you usually this hateful in real life, any childhood trauma or insecurities?
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Oh my, we are bitter aren't we? Ok well I wish you all the luck on the next one
[–]VeliVoy 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, you being bitter over the internet is kinda sad but you do you.
Having a bad childhood isn't a choice, but at least you can seek some help out there now
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lmfao the projection is strong with this one
[–]VeliVoy 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I can see you're just trying to deflect, maybe delete your sob comments on other subs before you come at me. Try again.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You post this ridiculous take about some woman rejecting you, I come in for some support, and now you feel it necessary to attack me? Oh man, do you have serious issues
[–]reversedbydark -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't bother, I've literally sent out hundreds of comments for people to not double text...just for to someone say in a comment yesterday that I'm wrong and he's just gonna insist and reach out after a double text because he just wants to see her...and somehow his comment got up voted and mine down (not that I care) lol. Just goes to show how dellusional people are when it comes to dating.
[–]Kevin26039898 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am the first who sends messages I do it 3 or 4 times after that I stop sending and see if they will miss me or not if they don't then I will quite quickly If they don't look excited in the conversation also I quite Taking a long time for responding kills the conversation
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If its not a fuck yes then most men will stay virgins. As a man you gotta learn to compromise. I don't want to fuck a 4\10 but heck I hadn't had sex in a while and I'll take one...
[–]Aunt_Tie_Dye -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As someone that gets over 200 text messages on an average day for work this is not true. It can be as many as 500 if it’s busy. I miss notifications all the time even though I have different text tones for work and personal. Sometimes people are just busy.
[–]Senior-Dot387 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wake up early just so she can have a few more minutes with you? That’s the cringiest shit I’ve ever read😂 women aren’t so black and white like you make them out to be.
[+][deleted] -17 points-16 points-15 points 4 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link
Ya i wake up. Go to work, do the shit i need to do and i pass out. Rinse and repeat. Dont take it personally if you dont get a reply 24 hours afterward.
Ive replied to a guy weeks after he texted and just said sorry i was busy. Lol
[–]VeliVoy 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
That's what I am saying, if she can't take time out for you from a whole day of 24 fucking hours there's no reason for you to keep waiting. Not relationship material. Next her quick, move on the next girl.
[+][deleted] -10 points-9 points-8 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
ya my life doesnt revolve around whatever random guy decides to tip his fedora at me. if i like you im going to reply. if you cant cool it for a couple days then ya plz next me
Yeah, it's your choice what you do. It's guy's choice to next you quick and find a better girl. Fair deal.
[–]Lighthero34 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I guarantee you don't make people wait that long if they're attractive fuck off
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Someone hasn't texted you back have they. Sounds like they are missing out! 🙃
[–]Lighthero34 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
No it's just the truth. If you want him you'll give him attention it's something everyone does.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
What do u think im trying to do by responding then. Why do yall have some expectation that you deserve a response in a certain time frame. And if that sorta thing is unacceptable to you then you're the one doing me the favor by moving om
[–]Lighthero34 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It's different if you respond and actively try to have a conversation it's another if you respond after 2 days and don't push the conversation forward at all.
Most dudes want to get an in person date as quickly as possible because they know it's easier to create attraction in person. You not responding for days makes them lose interest fast for that reason.
Then lose interest. 👍
[–]Significant_Pack8552 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks for your patience. Couple of questions. Did you ever try to text a guy actively like not replying after two days? How did the interaction go?
Would you be okay if the guy responds after two days without contributing to the text? Would you be comfortable to continue the interaction then?
[–]Codi_Banks 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Was it a guy you were attracted to or just some simp?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Those are the only 2 options huh?
I didn't know if i was attracted to him yet, thats why i texted him back.
I super hope yall only talk like this on reddit.
[–]Codi_Banks 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough lol. Two questions: How do you know if you ARE attracted to him? What would convince you that he's NOT attractive?
A guys time & attention is what we use to get girls. Its dumb to be in a position when you are pouring all of that on one single girl and she's not interested. I think OP is just advocating that we avoid that mistake and move on instead of pestering women. Some guys are out here sending 10 messages in a row over the span of a month trying to get a response from the same girl. I dont see any problem with the advice of moving on if a girl doesn't respond in 24 hours. Its solid and shouldn't offend.
Its always better to be talking to a bunch of girls at once anyway. Text like 10-20 girls and just focus on whichever girl shows the most interest.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
How do i KNOW if im not attracted to him? Well lets say i texted him back and he wasnt a jerk about not texting him back instantly thats a good start.
What would convince me hes not attractive? If he texted back and he started talking like all of yall then ya probably not gna do it for me.
[–]Codi_Banks 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Haha i guess women don't really know what they're attracted to.
Neither do men really. Its all a mystery isn't it? Out of our control for the most part.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Its almost like attraction varies person to person huh? So ya i dont know if im attracted to a person until... gee... i get to know them.
[–]Codi_Banks 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Well, usually the more sarcastic a woman is with me, the more she hates me. Before you start cursing me out did you disagree with anything I've said so far?
Also what you just posted is going towards what i was asking earlier; in the process of getting to know somebody, what qualities do you find attractive and which are unattractive? Especially in texting. Personally I think being dull and boring is the number 1 turn off but an older lady's perspective would be more valuable imo. Just curious what your thoughts were.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Well being able to handle not being texted for a couple days after randomly texting me is a good start.
I think its super easy to tell when a guy isnt genuine. And for the most part yall on here seem to be doing ever "trick" or "technique" other than being genuine. Attraction is a very fluid thing. I cant give you a list of stuff you can say or do to me that will make me like you. And its pretty clear yall want a list of shit you can do to get a girl to like you.
It doesn't work that way. But i find guys who are happy being themselves a major turn on.
[–]Codi_Banks -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Well it wasn't easy but I was able to get a non-sarcastic somewhat straight answer from you, even if it was the generic "Be yourself!" kind of advice.
Many guys aren't really fit to be in a relationship with women yet. Their "true" selves are bitter, insecure, and clingy. Personally I think most woman would be repulsed by that kind of guy if he just expressed his true nature lol. If these guys were honest they'd tell girls from the jump that they're really just looking to fuck them and aren't really interested in anything serious. The only thing that will really help these guys is first hand experience. The tricks & techniques on here just help them get that experience. Once they are consistently interacting with girls they will build confidence and stop being so desperate, angry, and needy. And they'll actually be able to be genuine without scaring girls away. There is just that big painful learning curve that beginners have to get through first.
I think the good thing about taking a long time to respond to a guys text is that it filters out those inexperienced beginners. If he's insecure he'll flip out and show his true self getting mad a girl doesn't respond. The girl can avoid a guy that could have turned into a big problem later.
Lmfaooo so true
Ohhh checkmate atheists!
But you do know a girl gets a night off right?
[–]scottishwillsmith 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
While I think there is some merit to this I don't think it's always true. People like to show love and appreciation in different ways. The person I'm dating right now isn't a huge texter and at first I was like this girl isn't into me at all. But then she kept reaching out, kept taking initiative and scheduling dates. And now that we're together her texting habits haven't really changed but she still always puts in effort in her own way. Just my two cents but just remember n = 1.
[–]Principatus 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If I text my fiancée she might be serving customers and not see it for an hour or two. But then she enthusiastically texts back when she’s ready.
[–]TheMorningJoe 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed
[–]personq1w2e3r4 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Was this in r/dating yesterday 😂
[–]berrysoda_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why doesn't anyone consider work for this though. Like, I'm talking with a flight attendant. She literally cannot message at certain time. The texting ball is entirely out of my side of the court
[–]ijenspace 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or, she just doesn’t like you 😬maybe she isn’t skimping for other dudes constantly. She probably just doesn’t like you.
[–]kaitkait18 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
okay, what about a man? currently experiencing what feels like he’s ignoring me
[–]VeliVoy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Same for either gender
[–]kaitkait18 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
do you think men prefer women who have semi busy lives or women who just sit around all day?
[–]VeliVoy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Semi busy women are more attractive but see if he doesn't want you nothing you do can make him want you, or if you keep trying desperately he'd see you as someone easy and use you for sex.
[–]kaitkait18 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
agreed. glad to hear an opinion from someone else thanks
[–]VeliVoy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey, btw I saw your post history. I was in a similar place in my LTR, where my gf would ignore my texts for hours and days at a time and when I would call them out they would just say they were busy. We had talks about our relationship, she'd say she loves me and she could never leave me. Everytime. But it kept happening after talking tons of times. I was so done with it that I chose to break up. She was in a relationship with a new guy (who she had been talking to behind my back for a long time) after a week. She did all that emotional manipulation and crying during break-up. That I can't live without you and stuff. But she goes on to be in a relationship with someone else a week later lol.
It's a horrible place out there with even more horrible people. If you get the gut feeling that something's wrong then it most probably is.....
[–]VeliVoy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
She would be active on social media hours into the night after saying good night to me. Sometimes she would fake-sleep on a call so I would cut off and sleep and then an hour later she would be active on Whatsapp. I never messaged her but I had my eyes on, I subtly asked her one day- There was another excuse that she was discussing group project with her colleague. She would see my status on Whatsapp but would ignore my text to her. If you have to time to watch status, you have the time to respond to someone that matters to you. Excuses and more.... When she was actually talking to the guy.
[–]kaitkait18 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
damn i’m so sorry you went through that for so long. it’s really hard to understand what the point of it is. if they don’t want to be with you then they should just end it, im really contemplating what to do in this situation because he’s always been a bad texter but this time was different and even after i brought it up to him he basically ignored what i said and went to work for 12 hours while i had an anxiety attack because idk what he’s thinking or why he would think ignoring me for so long is okay. i’m not someone who texts him constantly and i’m always so supportive. i just wish he would tell me what’s really going through his head because he’s never been dishonest about anything. this just doesn’t seem like him at all. i’m glad you understand what it’s like and that you told me your situation in trusting me. i really hope this isn’t the end as he’s not someone to go behind my back or play games. thank you again for sharing🖤
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