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[–]pua_max 156 points157 points158 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Beginner -> tell her she’s cute. Intermediate -> learn to be more subtle. Advanced -> you say whatever the fuck you want and let subcomms talk for you.
[–]Few-Solution3050 35 points36 points37 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Sorry for the newbie question but - what are subcomms?
[–]Visualize_ 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Subcommunication. So like everything besides the literal meaning of words that come out of your mouth. Stuff like eye contact, posture, vocal tonality all contribute to the vibe of the interaction and you basically want to come off like you are a confident guy and you are making it a man to woman interaction, but not like directly stating it. The woman should feel sexual tension in your interactions and the less direct you do it, the better it is
[–]Few-Solution3050 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Sooooo…body language?
[–]MattPruga 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
eye contact, touch, voice, smile, whole body, everything that's not words
[–]Few-Solution3050 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly so body language haha (even facial expressions and movements count as part of body language). I think my confusion comes from the fact that I didn’t know these two words were synonyms.
[–]PainDevourer 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They aren’t. Intonation for instance is not a part of body language but certainly a part of subcommunication. Also things you do not directly say but which are communicated between the lines and so on.
[–]stanthemilkman88 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"You know we're not having sex tonight right?" She says. What is the subcommunication there class?
Cause you do end up have sex. It was great.
[–]indrid_cold 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I believe the stock reply to that is " What makes you think I want to have sex with you tonight ?" .
[–]stanthemilkman88 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or come on. I'm not that easy.
[–]LandscapeClear1630 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not only body language, also leading, groundedness and preserving attraction - comfort levels.
[–]HuckleberryBroad644 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like that reminder. Thanks brother
[–]ComputerScienceGod 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Body language! If you make eye contact with a girl she'll know you're interested. I've flirted with girls without saying anything at all. You face your body towards them, smile, make eye contact. They love that stuff!
This is the answer. Everyone else should just stfu
[–]cronasminate 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Approaching to convince a girl to like you never works, so it doesn’t matter what you really say. You are either attractive to her or not. Her job is to tell me right away through her body language which one is which so I can spend my time elsewhere or give her a chance.
Direct openers just makes a girl explicitly state whether they like you or not which works for most guys who can’t read female body language if their life depended on it.
[–]FlatDistance5 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being conversational first, then stating intent is the best way to go
[–]JacobMoogberg69 36 points37 points38 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Women are approached in one of 3 ways:
Then you have:
"Hey there, you are so lucky to me meet me, because I am so impressive and wonderful, I'm just the type of guy you need in your life, omg your eyes are the exact same color as my new Prosche..." which immediately signals to a woman that you are trying to impress her, that you are the seller and she's the buyer and as such she has to kick the tires, pretend to not be very interested and most certainly, she can't make a decision right away. She will have to audition you for 5 dates to see if you are worth what you say you are worth which is a losing proposition for both you and her.
The pick up artist way "So you think you are so hot, because you are hot, but let me tell you little girl, you are not", which works as well as you would expect it to, which is not at all.
So relax, give her a non needy compliment if you want to and if you don't, just say hi, what's your name.
[–]Few-Solution3050 46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ngl was expecting one of these three scenarios to be one that actually works 😂
[–]Jrummps 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He may not have found it yet, but hey, he did find us what not to do!
[–]Few-Solution3050 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well said haha
[–]thaughty 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The ideal approach is "hey you caught my eye and if you like what you see, let's keep talking" but I wish I could think of a better way to phrase it
[–]YoDaddy1069 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m very much against it. I’ve noticed that when I come up with more unique compliments like complimenting her hair or her clothes that I get a better reaction.
[–]b_a_d_r0b0t 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don’t give them validation
[–]unboundNevada92 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sigma grindset
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Regular_Account6042 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This guy, he know
[–]Soberskate9696 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends on how good looking you are
[–]geonerd1310 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because she already knows it and you're the millionth guy to remind her. Approach as if there was something beyond her beauty that interested you. Girls understand beauty is common and men will sleep with women less attractive than them. So in her head being beautiful isn't a sure way of securing a real man she's attracted to. Is he going to feel the same without my make up, or when I'm returning home from work, or when I'm sweating in the sun, or when I'm older and no longer young and beautiful, is he gonna like me when he sees me without my clothes?... Women have all sorts of thoughts men usually don't have. Let her feel you were attracted to something beyond that, something she'll realize she uniquely posseses and probably only you see. It could be her sense of humour, her style of dressing, her confidence, her values and beliefs, her manners, anything to make her feel that men value women beyond just their physical beauty!
[–]Minute-Lie-2287 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes it's ok, really depends on her confidence, how often she's hit on, and how receptive she is to you anyhow ( basically your looks and if you're the right type)
Unfortunately most of that is hard to guage.
If you're going in with a compliment your better bet is something she's wearing or her haircut or something she did... basically anything she made a choice on and is not totally generic. The more obscure the thing is the better, for instance she's probably heard I like your tats a million times if she has obvious tattoos but if you recognize the reference of one you can probably give a more genuine and pointed compliment for it.
The fact you're approaching is enough to infer "you're cute" It's basically redundant.
Then again, I can think of a few times I've said " hey, I just gotta say, you really make those jeans look good" Indirectly saying the equivalent of "nice ass".....not really sure why that's worked but hey , feel the moment, know your audience.
[–]SnooMachines1406 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
U tell her because it saves time and shows her your intrested
[–]bvtmfdr 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
She definitely already knows she’s cute, she probably gets told all the time. Instead tell her how you really feel, e.g. how you like her gorgeous body, or how she makes you feel inside when you spotted her e.g. you took my breath away. Most guys have no balls to ever say that so she’ll be surprised and you’ll stand out. Plus it’s genuine and not coming across as approval-seeking; the cute compliment comes across as a bribe for sex/her approval, when you should be approaching with the mindset that you owe her nothing and you are good as is and of course she will like a catch like you (even if she doesn’t), and let’s be honest more than “she’s cute” went through your head when you saw her ;)
[–]taarb 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So instead of telling her she’s attractive, tell her she’s attractive?
How is that genuine?
She’s going to receive that worse than the “cute” line, you’re casually cat-calling her to her face.
[–]bvtmfdr -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
The point is most guys don’t say what is actually on their mind, “cute” is generic and not from the heart. And she already knows that. What I’m suggesting is standing out by being genuine and upfront with her, it’s rare and takes courage, even if he gets rejected, he was a man and put himself out there genuinely, and she will go away with a nice compliment (that he really meant) even if she wasn’t interested. For once from someone who was genuine, not someone saying whatever so she likes him. Huge difference.
[–]taarb 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Saying a woman has a pretty body might be true coming from the guy sure, possibly, but it’s not a genuine comment. She gets told she’s pretty every single day. Barely rephrasing it isn’t going to help.
I’ve been bartending for far too long, and have seen this method tried time and time again. It’s worked maybe 3 times the past decade, and the woman had always been drinking prior.
You’re confusing being bold with being genuine. They are not the same, and the cold contact shouldn’t be applauded simply because it took “courage.” The guy bluntly telling a woman she has a smoking body isn’t the one to sweep her off her feet.
[–]mdspfvb 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
now i'm curious to know as to what moves worked. Anything?
[–]thelambofdeth -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
This is pretty simpy tbh...
[–]bvtmfdr 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I normally let women approach me but I've been gradually practicing this in cases where there is someone that particularly attracts me, unless there is something more obvious I can start a convo with like something in the environment happening to make small talk, or if she has a band shirt or something I can open with for example. Sometimes I gotta take the risk lol
[–]thelambofdeth 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I normally let women approach me
Must be nice.
[–]bvtmfdr 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It is actually, because it never happened for 24 years up until I recently changed all my unattractive qualities. Even slight changes to your body language, exercising and your mindset really change shit, I never thought I was attractive until I changed my vibe. You can too
[–]thelambofdeth 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Lol. Wish I could beleive that. If getting in the best shape of my life, dressing well, wearing high end cologne, grooming, etc hasn't gotten me more attention from women, I don't think my posture and "vibe" will...You have to be a certain level of attractive or women just ignore you.
[–]bvtmfdr 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
That's why you should try. Combine them and change your strategy if the rest weren't working.
[–]thelambofdeth 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I have a resting bitch face and I'm black...unless I look like Steph Curry or Patrick Mahomes, women aren't going to approach me no matter what my mindset or whatever us, dude
[–]bvtmfdr 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Not an excuse bro, i'm Asian.
If you have nothing better to do, this vid might help you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7xqck7u1ag
[–]thelambofdeth 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Last I checked women aren't afraid, scared or intimidated of Asian men and you lot don't have 3,573 negative stereotypes against you. If you're black and you're not an 11/10, women aren't going to approach you lol.
I'm not watching that, dude. I'm not saying a positive vibe and mindset doesn't help...but if you're good-looking women will approach, and if you're not, they won't. That's basically what it always boils down to.
[–]ulyssesonyourscreen 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Look good, give her any compliment, the more genuine like and not predictable at all, the better, look good, then small talk trying to express your vibe the best that you can, small funny interesting comments and intentionally hot eye contact, look good, be expressive and emotional, confidence is key, look good, express interest on hanging later: "whats your IG? So I can follow you and then go ice skating" (or whatever pops in your mind first, doesn’t matter), look good, close the deal.
[–]tway7373892 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cute is generic and has no meaning behind it , pick out something unique about her and start with that .Women put a lot of effort into the way they look and a compliment pointing something out will go further than just saying you're cute
[–]MO_drps_knwldg 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Your energy and your vibe is what matters, not what you say. If you’re confident, playful, and not outcome dependent, and willing to let the conversation unfold naturally, simply smiling and asking how her day is going is enough.
If you’re nervous, feel like you’re bothering her, or focused on the outcome, the best line in the world won’t save you.
[–]RegretsNothing1 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean, ever girl I've had sex with, or kissed is because after I establish that I'm a normal person, I say "I really want to kiss you", or "I'd have sex with you".
I'd make it a statement, and it's up to her what she wants to do with it. If you've proved you're not obsessive, crazy, dangerous, she'll always take pretty well, no matter the answer.
But definitely don't do this if you're not attractive. People are awful, and women treat unattractive men pretty poorly without realizing it.
But so do men. It's a human flaw.
[–]5_7pickup 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is an intent vs premise problem.
[–]LandscapeClear1630 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Todd V was here.
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love me some todd v
[–]skinticket02 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can say whatever you want , it doesn't really matter . You just her hour number and leave.
[–]Xombie0991 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I do it to state intent. That’s important isn’t it?
[–]PushOrganic 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because it validates her too much and complementing her before she deserves it comes off as needy. In a cold approach you want to be screening and establishing yourself as the prize
[–]Fx150900 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Call her nails cute. Tell her she has nice shoes. Tell her you like her purse. It’ll bring a smile to her face, and now you can branch off of that. “Where’d you get them from?” Then boom you’re in there like swim wear. Before you leave you just ask if her she wants to grab a coffee or something. If she says no, get her number, and schedule something later on. Easy peasy. In my experience introducing yourself and learning their name eliminates a huge barrier, because now you know them on a more personal level.
[–]NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
PUA Paradox. When you tell a woman she's cute you automatically subcommunicate that she has higher value than you (i.e. she has something you want). This automatically puts you as lower value than her which doesn't flip that attraction switch (women do NOT sleep with men they perceive as having lower value than them). The only cheat code to this is if you are an uber-Chad with amazingly good genes (an 11/10).
Why "paradox"? How do you pickup a woman without subcommunicating that she has something YOU want? Disqualifying yourself first. Remember, the game is played in "comfort" level, not in the first few minutes of interaction.
Too many rookies are looking for the quick "win" and discard years of field tested and battle-hardened tactics.
Learn the ins/outs of "prizing" to get a better understanding of this.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Story time. 2am Saturday morning, my best mate and I drunk in a taxi line talking shit when he turns his head spits down at the ground, it lands on this girls foot standing beside us.
She says hey you fucking spat on me
He looks at her, smiles. Replies, sometimes I spit
She says sometimes I swallow. WTF
Long story short he rode a taxi back to her place and fucked her, she was at least an 8.
I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Be a king. Put your value a mountain above theirs.
Also, get them when they're drunk and horny about to go home alone.
[–]thelambofdeth -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never validate a woman
[–]Dwerg1 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A newbie telling a girl she's cute for a lack of other ways of initiating a conversation tells her exactly that, you're yet another uninteresting newbie.
It's not the fact that you're giving a compliment that's really the issue, it's that every other uninteresting guy before you did exactly the same. It's just boring and lets her know right off the bat that the following interaction will most likely be awkward or uncomfortable.
[–]SuaveFuck 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
she might KNOW she's cute. she might have heard she's cute 37times tonight already and it might not really indicate a great information worth to engage with for her ;)
if you really wanna go with complimenting her on something about her appearance, try to go with her smile. but heck, she might have heard that at least 10 times that night already, too.
[–]Frostie-B3 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because She already knows that. It’s also indicates that you don’t know to break the ice.
[–]shawnml9 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make her laugh, and she is yours
[–]BigShuggy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It all depends on how you say it. You’re asking questions on this sub so the big money is on you failing to pull it off. If you’re charming/creative and confident you’ll be fine but if you were you’d probably know that instinctively.
If you do decide to go ahead with it please don’t go too extreme. Strangers are naturally more wary of each other and grand displays set off red flags, keep it relaxed. Also don’t linger get her number and boost, you don’t look desperate and it gives her an escape if she only gave you the number to get it over with.
A lesser thought about tip would be compliment her on something she personally cares about. Pretty girls get called pretty all the time and they know they are good looking as well as I know I have 10 fingers. Obviously more difficult because you have to figure out what the right thing is in real time but they always seem to love it.
[–]Minute-Lie-2287 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smind893 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea Be the 483930th guy to talk about her looks.
You'll stand out.
[–]the-mo55 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It doesn’t work because they probably hear it all the time. It’s unoriginal
An object in motion stays in motion. If that opener is what ya got, use it. Starting a conversation with anyone is the hard part, getting over the 'what if'. Get in there,.say something, anything. A woman who is actually worth pursuing will respond kindly. If you get a nasty response just because you initiated....walk away.
[–]DROP_TABLE_U5ers 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It doesn’t really matter what you say. You can tell in the first 30 seconds where it’s going
[–]pocketcroquet 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Woman speaking here-
A lot of the time, being hit on is stressful. It's hard because I'm sussing out to see if the person giving compliments is a weirdo who doesn't care about my opinion or consent, of if they're just a sweet and direct dude.
So my number 1 tip- let her know that she's safe and her opinion matters. Making her comfortable is a lot more effective than showering her with compliments. And not in the egotistical way, where you feel like you're giving her a present by pretending she has a choice. Respect her and what she wants.
Start off with "Hi, would you mind if I talked to you for a second? I understand if it would make you uncomfortable though."
You can still be direct, too. If she lets you sit down with her and you feel shes comfortable with you, you can hit her with a "I think you're beautiful."
The most important tip though, is
BE OKAY WITH TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER.
No matter what, it'll happen sometimes. Even if she doesn't explicitly tell you she's uncomfortable, read her body language. Care about how she feels, and if she misunderstands you and is uncomfortable, be kind enough to leave her alone.
I promise that she'll like you a lot more if she doesn't even have to ask you for space, and she'll probably rethink her opinion of you when she understands that you actually cared about how she felt. It makes you seem like you have options, too, and that you're not desperate.
So yeah. Be polite. Make her feel safe. And take no as an answer if she's not feeling it.
[–]divorceded7in 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Banter with girls they love it teasing is good and try to be the funny guy not stupid or mean but ha funny..funny guys are dangerous cuz they tickle the funny bone and that gets you in...
[–]Bingo_is_the_man 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There’s nothing wrong with a compliment, just keep it tame and don’t go over the top. Just something like ‘I thought you looked nice’ is usually good enough. More about how you stop them and how you lead it though.
[–]Upstairs-Bat-1315 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey bro, I made another video for you answering this question
https://youtu.be/stNCQhTBncM
This one is really simple and easy. Good luck!
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