Feeling discouraged. Gotta vent a little.

NTSpike · 2017-09-19T20:30:46+00:00

Have you considered where your blind spots are? I have many friends in this who constantly spin their wheels and put in so much effort when they're logistics are still awful, they don't close, they don't fix their approaching calibration, they don't physically escalate, etc. I would say most people who get into this fall into this category. I recognize this a lot in myself where problems I've dealt with for months or years are resolved almost overnight when I finally target these areas.

I would bet you fall in this category.

Austonmatthews345 · 2017-09-19T20:21:27+00:00

"Get shredded, fuck bitches". - Zyzz

R.i.p.

kalz44 · 2017-09-19T21:44:23+00:00

Dude I feel you.

Sometimes I wonder when does this get easier? I get rejected so often I wonder how couples even happen? Like don't women want to be with guys? And I've given serious thought to just giving up. All this effort. The articles. The books. The approaches. The chicks that blow you out. The chicks that freeze you out. The chicks who give you their number but don't reply. The chicks that agree to a date then flake. The anticipation of something special only to find the inevitable disappointment of a shit lead. Why even bother? Why even? I know I'll have to deal with this shit for the foreseeable future in order to be with the woman of my dreams but the process is frustrating and painful that I just want to quit sometimes.

Sakred · 2017-09-19T21:51:39+00:00

It sounds like you don't respect yourself and you're only improving yourself to sleep with women and get validation. Approval seeking is generally among the most repulsive behavior a man can display to a woman. It could be that they pick up on this and you're turning them away.

Are you a man that you would respect?

Are you a man that you would admire?

Are you a man that you would want to sleep with if you were a woman?

The only measure you should be worried about is your own, if you are at peace with who you are, and are yourself unabashedly so, you've removed all barriers preventing the right women from fucking you. If not, you're going to keep getting in your own way and seeking external validation.

Stay strong, and hold yourself to your own standards and nobody else's.

Another thought I just had, these women you get to know so well, how are you letting them know you're romantically/physically interested in them?

jimmiepop · 2017-09-19T22:20:17+00:00

What do you do in an average month to land your one monthly date? Looking for your approach / prospecting numbers.

Kayyam · 2017-09-19T21:16:30+00:00

Just hang in there and be patient. Don't give up.

DavidGolani11 · 2017-09-20T02:17:23+00:00

A date a month is pretty good, dude. Don't shortchange yourself

MarcusAurelius78 · 2017-09-19T23:20:50+00:00

You need to post more details. Answer these questions and I'll try to help ya out...

How old are you? Where do you go out to meet women usually?
When you get rejected, what reasons are you given from the women who rejected you?
Do you dress well? Do you workout or are you out of shape?

aswjacob · 2017-09-19T23:34:52+00:00

How often do you go out?

When you go out how many women do you approach?

Do you study dating material?

How you gotten coaching?

Have you taken improv comedy classes?

Do you break down your nights and write down what you did as far as good and what can be improved?

Have you ever recorded your approaches via audio or video?

Answer those questions and I can help you.

jwang26 · 2017-09-20T01:15:05+00:00

I'm not an expert by any means so take my advice with a grain of salt but from the biggest problem I read was you aren't in line with your intentions. The first thing you need to fix is why are you going after girls you aren't even attracted to? You're supposed to enjoy the process and have fun. Go after girls you have general interest in don't force it. Secondly look at where you're meeting them and how much investment goes into it, if it's someone form school that you're flirting with you're chances of success are going to be alot higher vs someone you spend a few mins talking to. Try not to over think it, relax and have fun don't be so caught up in the outcome. I highly recommend reading Models if you haven't already. Don't get discouraged everyone had their own path enjoy the journey

jwang26 · 2017-09-20T01:15:36+00:00

I'm not an expert by any means so take my advice with a grain of salt but from the biggest problem I read was you aren't in line with your intentions. The first thing you need to fix is why are you going after girls you aren't even attracted to? You're supposed to enjoy the process and have fun. Go after girls you have general interest in don't force it. Secondly look at where you're meeting them and how much investment goes into it, if it's someone form school that you're flirting with you're chances of success are going to be alot higher vs someone you spend a few mins talking to. Try not to over think it, relax and have fun don't be so caught up in the outcome. If you think you suck at talking to girls or are uncomfortable make girl friends and get comfortable. I highly recommend reading Models if you haven't already. Don't get discouraged everyone has their own path enjoy the journey.

PunnamedPlayer · 2017-09-20T02:46:48+00:00

I'm in the exact same boat you're in and have bee thinking about this a lot these past couple of days. My way of coping with this and a few things I've noticed:

Change and progress always takes longer than you think. I've inched forward these past couple of years, making about as much progress as I thought I'd make in a month. But the time will pass anyway, better to spend it inching forward than not moving at all.
Assessing your current level is hard! You're probably better off solving problems that are more fundamental and basic than the ones you think you need to solve.
Prioritise non-pickup stuff. Do things that take you out of your comfort zone, travel, and hit the gym.
Keep moving at your current pace (or faster) but don't worry so much about results and remember that things take longer than you expect. You'll be fine in the end.

This quote from To Kill A Mockingbird helps when I'm feeling especially down:

"Atticus, are we going to win it?" "No, honey." "Then why-" "Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no reason for us not to try to win," Atticus said.

nocrustpizza · 2017-09-20T08:06:13+00:00

I want you to try this experiment. Put on headphones with uplifting no lyrics music, meditate and feel success that a girl will approach you and you both will connect. It will be effortless and fun.

This can sometimes work better than endless planning and methods, try it and let me know what happens.

essexaspie · 2017-09-20T11:51:31+00:00

It's a rough ride!! I've made so many approaches now it's not even funny,lol

I have thankfully gotten laid a few times now from cold approach, but my God, some guys seem to have it easy compared to me.

Just gotta keep on trucking

LimitedContributor · 2017-09-20T15:38:35+00:00

I'm glad I never took the porn route. It increases doubt for me. I can definitely relate to the second to the last sentence of your post. I actually seen some girls with nice figures, only, when I asked them their ages, it was exactly 17, 15 and 16 with me almost 27. Its a serious message.

Afterwards, I'm at home, sitting against my room wall, basically drinking alcohol. I don't drink though. Haha

TheBetterManZA · 2017-09-20T20:01:23+00:00

Why go out just for the sake of meeting women? Do things you enjoy where you will ALSO meet women. I like art, so I go to art events. I don't ever do something JUST for the sake of meeting girls, but I'm also a low energy guy who's bloody busy, so I am very picky about what I do with my energy/time. Focus on YOUR happiness and YOUR enjoyment first. As long as you make contact with some women while you're doing whatever makes you happy, chances are you'll start to notice girls noticing you.

Mouthpiece · 2017-09-20T21:18:53+00:00

What do you think is your biggest obstacle holding you back?

greenlittleman · 2017-10-02T17:01:30+00:00

There is no such a thing like "Internet porn addiction", lol. You don't need a motivation, you can do pickup because you decide what you NEED this. You can never really get results if you'll be only interested to do things you want.

raikmond · 2017-09-20T08:22:45+00:00

I don't know you, but sounds like you still give way too much importance to sex and getting laid. The seduction mindset sees sex as something that comes through the journey, not as the journey itself. Stressing out about how many girls you meet, close, etc is only going to do that, stress you out, effectively making you unhappy, nervous, or whatever negative emotion that is but going to snowball.

Maybe take your path away from women for awhile, at least consciously. Go to bars to have fun, not to get laid. Talk to a girl if you feel like it but never with the purpose of ending up fucking her; actually have a reason to start a convo as if that girl was a 40yo fat guy.

Let things come if they may, but your priority must always be yourself: Put your objectives first. What are your goals, short and long term? Are you working on getting there? If not, what are you waiting for? If yes, why worry? You're on the right track.

I get it that sometimes you get a bad streak or however you want to call it, but trust me, when you start giving less importance to all that and focusing on building up your life, things will eventually come. And if they don't, so be it, be self-critical and analyze if there's something you need to change but with your own goals and desires first.

hrgrimer · 2017-09-19T21:57:55+00:00

You're probably just not very attractive.

How tall are you? That's probably the single biggest factor as to whether you should even bother continuing.

Title	Feeling discouraged. Gotta vent a little.
Author	jake_megabyte
Upvotes	90
Comments	91
Date	September 19, 2017 6:34 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7151xm/feeling_discouraged_gotta_vent_a_little/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feeling-discouraged-gotta-vent-a-little.1433957 https://theredarchive.com/post/1433957

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