How do you become "that guy"?

norwegiandoggo · 2026-02-10T16:30:38+00:00

Non-needy, makes them feel good, has social status, is well-connected. Gives more value than he takes.

Examples:

Non-needy: Doesn't pester them for dates if they're busy. Always cool with rejection. Also completely cool with her not messaging him for 6 months while she's dating another dude. He's okay being the back-up. And at some point, she may get horny and miss him - just as that other fling dies out.
Makes them feel good: Always greets them with a big smile, hug. Is often joking around having a great time. He is the life of the party because he is focused on making people around him feel good.
Has social status: Dude has social status. He's good at something people care about. For example, sports. Or he's good at making money. Or he has a cool house with a dope swimming pool and the women love to use it.
Is well-connected: Has many attractive women in his life. But is also well-connected in general. And he became that way by being very proactively social and focusing on making others feel good around him.
Gives more value than he takes: Again, people around him benefit from being with him. He's not selfish. He is a giver. And that's why women come back again and again. Because they know that whenever they interact, they will receive more from him than they have to give. Happy to pay for her food. Happy to let her sleep over a few days for free. Happy to give her free drugs or alcohol (for some dudes). Happy to eat her out etc. But of course he's not a complete doormat either. He is just used to abundance, so he's not stingy.

Lenovo_Driver · 2026-02-10T15:48:11+00:00

Be someone who is chill and a vybe to be around and be good at fucking.

blacksky2000 · 2026-02-10T19:24:29+00:00

I don't have any knowledge on the subject but since I'm a woman I'll just tell you what I whould look for in a guy just for sex. 1. Be hot (if it's not serious, then appearance matters more than usual) 2. Don't pretend to want a relationship, because you think that's what women want. Women can be avoidant as well. give them space. If you tell them you want kids in the future or text every single day they might cut you off. Instead be clear about what you are in it for and act accordingly. 3. Talk in q friendly way. If you meet someone and never talk about random things it could reed as hiring a sex worker which is uncomfortable. 4. Make sure you get your check ups done and use protection every time. If a guy -Im casually seeing- tried to have sex with me, without a condom, I will assume he does that with everyone therefore the probability of STDs is high (obviously a deal-breaker)

Thierr · 2026-02-10T15:56:02+00:00

Make them feel things. You don't do that by accomplishments or looks - but those can get you in the door.

professionalfumblr · 2026-02-10T20:15:12+00:00

Honestly, every guy who’s really good with chicks is generally good with all people. As cliche as it is, start talking to anyone and everyone, that’s the best way to level up socially.

JackSquirts · 2026-02-10T17:53:27+00:00

The one that women hit up when they're horny and the one who's especially good at attracting them aren't necessarily the same. The guy women hit up when they're horny are guys who lay good dick, period. If your dick game is really good, as unfortunate as this is, you're basically untouchable. You can do anything and they'll keep coming back - if you don't watch yourself, you can turn into a monster as a result. The guy who's good at attracting them, make them feel something during regular interactions - you know how to press buttons, especially via flirting, that elicits positive emotions (especially sexual feelings).

Prestigious_Water336 · 2026-02-10T23:21:22+00:00

One of the big things I've noticed is not making a big deal out of it.

Tease her a little over text or the call

When you meetup talk for a little bit, like 5 minutes to catch up before doing the deed

And most importantly, provide them with good sex. They can get it from anyone so stand out a bit more. I always do oral on them before I go in. If she wants to go multiple rounds give her what she wants.

Go above and beyond to be that A1 alpha number 1 FWB.

TMGP19 · 2026-02-10T15:55:02+00:00

Approach 1000+ women, work on frame, body language, and conversational skills. Be outcome independent, non needy, very forward, and don't change behavior for shit tests while also balancing it out with politeness/charm.

No-Wolverine7793 · 2026-02-10T21:57:40+00:00

I was 9 and got my first phone number and liked the thrill of the hunt Almost 20 years later I tend to surround myself with women in all areas of life

babnick · 2026-02-11T03:44:07+00:00

I have seen and been around the men you talk about. Eventually I became that man. And the one thing we all have in common is an "abundance mindset". That means we don't get hung up on one woman. We know there are plenty of fish in the sea. Believe this one thing if nothing else: women treat you differently when they know you have options. They also behave differently when they know we have no problem walking away. Dress well, improve social skills and work out. Learn how to flirt with them. They love a man who knows how to flirt. Be confident. You can't fake it as women can sense it. Lastly.....we treat 10's as if they're a 5. Works every time. Good luck.

blunt_eastwood · 2026-02-10T15:45:43+00:00

I would consider reading the book Models by Mark Manson. It won't get you exactly what you want, but I think it will give you some insight into how to approach attraction and dating.

2026-02-10T20:50:21+00:00

The solution is to stop worrying about trying to become “that guy” and to just shut up and try. Seriously, crawl before you walk padawan. The reality is most dudes who are truly that skillful with women don’t even think twice about it. They are just being themselves. But they all also started from ground zero as well and they learned over time what worked for them and what didn’t. At the end of the day, you need to start just putting yourself out there and say fuck it. Give it your best shot. If she rejects you (which is the likely outcome in reality) so what? Accept it with a smile and move on to someone else. You don’t go from dud to stud overnight. Just try and have one successful situation and go from there.

Yedya · 2026-02-10T22:54:46+00:00

Just try not to care about the outcome as much, if you have abundance you naturally won't care

pickupmid123 · 2026-02-10T21:46:34+00:00

“That guy” isn’t focused on women. He has other things going on in his life: ambition, passion, and a defined purpose he’s working toward. They are building something in this short life. They work hard and are disciplined.

working a 9 to 5 then coming home to smoke weed and play video games is antithetical to becoming “that guy”.

Correct-Credit1961 · 2026-02-10T16:10:44+00:00

“that guy” isnt tactics, its chill confidence + boundaries.

epimpstyle · 2026-02-10T16:20:07+00:00

What behaviours do I need to practise to start attracting women?

So you want to be a flower that attracts the bees? Do you get what I mean? You don’t need to attract them, the idea is that you shouldn’t push them away, because you as a man you’re the one who approaches them, and they should find traits in you that aren’t off‑putting.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-02-11T02:31:36+00:00

Yeah I have at times. Making women feel super comfortably around you. Sex is no big deal. You have a great vibe are all things that will do it. Being needy etc will kill all that

water_reducer · 2026-02-10T20:14:24+00:00

you can certainly improve your circumstances but you're not going to get the real answer to your question here

V3X390 · 2026-02-11T15:13:49+00:00

You need to be fit, have money, and give off daddy vibes. Ask me what daddy vibes means.

3boodqt · 2026-02-14T21:24:12+00:00

I have exactly the same problem.. wish if there's something that helps us in life cuz it's driving me crazy that I'm not one of them

ArmitageShanks69 · 2026-02-15T13:20:52+00:00

You mean one of the 20% of guys that 80% of women want? Well if you're part of the 80% of guys, you don't.

7Seas_ofRyhme · 2026-02-17T15:48:53+00:00

damn

Any_Vacation8988 · 2026-02-11T04:48:20+00:00

Ditch the mustache the ladies probably think you’re a cop.

Title	How do you become "that guy"?
Author	Hungry_Energy_8353
Upvotes	94
Comments	48
Date	February 10, 2026 3:27 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r13r2e/how_do_you_become_that_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-become-that-guy.1573169 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573169

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