How important is having your own place?

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-04-06T21:09:12+00:00

Obv depends on the setup. Basement you can access through a side door is a lot better than bedroom where you have to pass your parents every time to get there.

ProfitisAlethia · 2026-04-06T21:31:01+00:00

It's not gonna effect you as much as you think but it's highly situationally dependent. If you explain your situation to a girl she's probably going to understand.

The most attractive girl I've ever slept with I took home to my mom's house and had to walk her by my mom to get upstairs to my bedroom.

johnny-faux · 2026-04-06T21:52:48+00:00

if your parents allow girls to come over, it doesn’t matter at all. if they don’t, it’s a harder. it’s much easier to invite a girl over and fuck her then it is to fuck at her place. but again, if she likes you, she likes you. how much are you actually shooting your shot tho? are you theorizing right now? because this question is so much different than someone asking “i’m running into a problem of inviting girls over and them saying no because i live with my parents. how do i work around this?”. i feel like you’re playing mental games. just go out there and ask girls on dates. that’s much more important lol

Shadow__Account · 2026-04-06T22:18:56+00:00

Not that important for seduction. For setting down when you get a bit older it is. Women will mess with whoever makes them feel.good, but a lot of them will look for socio economical status to settle down. Def not all of them or anything.

In general id say dont let it be an excuse. I have had my most successful period of seduction when i actually didnt have my own place. Dont let it be one of those i will be successful when i get x things. Because when you get your place it will be when i get a fitter body and after that it will be when i get this higher position etc etc

Key-Proud · 2026-04-06T21:13:33+00:00

83% of my lays (one night stands) is me driving the girl home ... then asking to pee at their place ... then i am conviently there.

Seduction

CoachSlyDating · 2026-04-06T22:22:29+00:00

Not as important as you would think. Girls fuck losers all the time. It’s all about how comfortable you are with it. If you are insecure about it she will see it.

Khower · 2026-04-06T21:13:59+00:00

I fucked girls all the time when I lived with my dad for a year. Affected nothing.

Even now I have my own place, but I almost never bring girls back. I go to their place. Only person I brought over was my girlfriend who lived with her parents, so if I had been living at my parents she wouldn't have been able to say much. This may just be me, but I prefer women dont come to my house in general, Id rather go to them.

videogames_ · 2026-04-06T22:35:24+00:00

Insane how different the answers are to 5-10 years ago because of the economy and inflation. Also you have a plan that you will move out in 2028 anyways so if you share that with a woman there’s a plan there and not basement dweller doing nothing. Answers tend to vary between those under 30 and over 30 especially.

In summary it matters but get creative if you don’t have a basement with a side door. Her place, the car, Airbnb, whatever.

Excellent-Archer-238 · 2026-04-06T22:44:51+00:00

It's important for logistics. I still live at home and I can't bring anyone. Most women in my city still live with their parents as well, so it gets tough, only options are motels and hotels.

But that's when they are already dtf. I have had women that wer not openly dtf but could have fucked if I lived alone and brought them to watch movies or something, but I didn't because I couldn't.

ChicoBrillo · 2026-04-06T23:56:20+00:00

35m here, have lived a bit of a hobo's life and spent stints at my mom's house. I still brought girls home, I've never had them give me shit about it, in fact, I'm usually embarrassed and they're the ones saying it's fine.

It's more about how much do you want your parents to know about your personal life or potentially hear you having sex.

TonytheNetworker · 2026-04-07T17:47:34+00:00

You’re almost 30 so yes it’s very important to have your own place. Women love men that are stable, ambitious, and have things going on. That being said… I’ve seen girls get donkey fucked in club bathrooms and fucked on an air bed with my laundry on it. 💀

Certain_Process_7657 · 2026-04-06T21:44:37+00:00

Tbh it's a pretty big deal for most women. For context I'm 33 and have dated in various American cities I've lived in (not small towns). But of course if you're super attractive or have tremendous game, you can make up for this.

But from what you said, it sounds like you're pretty inexperienced ("ok social skills"), so this will be an uphill battle. It wouldn't be as big of a deal if you had roommates and lived in a high cost of living city at your age. Parents is a whole different ball game.

Living with parents is typically a turn off since most women value financial security and want the man to at least appear that he has his finances in order and can provide for her at some point.

Renting isn't all that bad man. Don't do it forever but when you're young and single, living with your parents is pretty much a death wish for bringing a girl home. Even if you tell her the reason is you're saving up for a house, it will be tough for most women to look past this.

have-a-blast88 · 2026-04-07T00:58:23+00:00

I was in a similar position in 2024/2025. I went on a lot of dates and had a few lays, even got a gf while living at my parents- but I never brought them back to the house. If my game was better or I cared less/was less embarrassed about living at home I probably could have, but I wasn’t proud of the fact that I lived at home, so…. I made do where I could.

It won’t hinder you unless you let it. Dont lead with it but just own it when it when it comes up.

vesieco · 2026-04-07T13:16:18+00:00

It’s not extremely important, but important for sure. Having your own place preferably downtown where you can smoothly escalate and bring girls over is going to make getting laid a hell of a lot easier than having to drive back to the burbs every time

blizzardboy · 2026-04-07T19:00:52+00:00

don’t be paranoid. the more you think about this the more trouble it will be. if she doesn’t see them i don’t see why it would be a problem. and if thing work out just tell her.

just my opinion

georgeofthejungle71 · 2026-04-08T01:49:50+00:00

I found it was crucial. But that was post marriage and I was 48.

Where and how I lived came up early and often.

Interestingly enough. Having my own place was usually a requirement of women who had multiple room mates, and three who lived with their parents (in their fourties, one as a caregiver, two due to economic reasons, which, I do udneratdm. This is an obscenely expensive place to live ). Never understood why it was ok to telle I had to meet a standard they didn't meet themselves. Didn't matter really, those ones typically didn't make it to date one amd it was usually me who declined.

Critical-Common9209 · 2026-04-06T22:10:56+00:00

Please, you remember Chazz?? You should be fine.

Elegant-Wolf-12 · 2026-04-06T22:29:01+00:00

Pretty important unless you’re looking for an arranged marriage or some other kind of super-traditional arrangement.

Go out more. Make some friends. Have adventures. Meet women in the world, and get comfortable initiating conversations and flirting

kev1nshmev1n · 2026-04-06T22:51:35+00:00

Know a guy who lives with his mom and still gets tinder hook ups. Not sure what his set up is.

PostAvailable9966 · 2026-04-07T03:11:52+00:00

It matters a lot for first date lays or one night stands. Ideally, you could empty the house and be by yourself for 2-3 hours if it comes to those.

What is more important is location. Anything that can be close to the date location (within 15 mins by foot) is golden.

However, note on homebuying. It will pin you down and severely restrict your ability to travel. There are many places were you can live with 2-3k canadian per month (Eastern europe, east asia and south east asia). When you pay 800k for a home, you are literally trading over 20years of leisure life just to own a home. I would urge you to reconsider if you value time off or geographic freedom

Warm-Fun5226 · 2026-04-07T03:23:45+00:00

Depends on the situation and how much privacy you get as well as the women who you are seeing and her wants

Cinap815 · 2026-04-07T03:59:06+00:00

Too me its super important (late 30s -single). I've lived over 7-8 years in my early 20s with roommates, they were fun but limited privacy. Having that piece of mind and a place to just be myself means the world. But obviously costs and where you are in your career play a big role. I'm from Vancouver and I scored on a sweet studio apartment deal and I've been lving here for the past 5+ years.

S-Tier_Commenter · 2026-04-07T04:43:00+00:00

Yesterday I had a girl from bumble on whatsapp arranging a date. She asked me if I lived alone. I replied: "No, are you looking to move in already? [cryemoji]"

She replied that her bumble profile made it clear she's not looking for that and blocked me. So I went to her bumble, and told her her profile didn't make it clear, I have lived alone but didn't like it, and that I run two companies so I am quite independent, and wished her the best. She wished me the best too and unmatched me on Bumble.

She then, 5 mins later, unblocked me on whatsapp, explained her dislike for men living with her parents (common in spain), apologised and rescheduled the date.

I wouldn't have expected that!

Mindless_Dog2081 · 2026-04-07T06:05:22+00:00

Man, just say your new apartment is undergoing a renovation and ask if she has a place of her own. If she doesn't she will probably ask you where you live, say it's currently a hotel / motel due to the renovation, excuse yourself to the restroom for a second and book a room there by phone. Pure ball knowledge

ygiftcard · 2026-04-07T06:46:21+00:00

very important in general not just for seduction

juanet2bonit · 2026-04-07T07:34:21+00:00

Depends on how are your needs!! It's different for different people..

ExaminationNo4391 · 2026-04-07T07:53:54+00:00

It’s just convenient. If you have a car then that can work. Otherwise bet on her having a spot or 2 man with a friend that has a spot

Rajl_Khtek · 2026-04-07T13:35:58+00:00

Having a nice 60k$ car and renting you condo is much more than having a 800k$ to your assets but no lifestyle to go with. Being a liability themselves, girls are attracted to spending, not owning

ManaDeus · 2026-04-09T01:55:59+00:00

Just rent an Airbnb for the night, or fuck her on the street

DougDante · 2026-04-07T00:46:15+00:00

Why don't you go out and ask some women about it?

No-Wolverine7793 · 2026-04-07T11:07:32+00:00

Nothing like bringing them over to Mom and dads

Icy-Childhood9761 · 2026-04-22T02:58:11+00:00

It’s important age your age to at least have an apartment with roommates. I’d imagine bringing a girl back to your parents place isn’t the sexiest thing in the world. Plus if it’s in the suburbs it can be hard to go out to bars in the city and then get a girl back to your parents place.

Emergency_Pound · 2026-04-06T22:06:31+00:00

Very.

Beautiful_Scar4023 · 2026-04-20T18:48:00+00:00

💯 important. (Most) Women need privacy to feel comfortable. If you are still at your family’s house and want to get laid, work on getting your place first. Also, if you are over 30, you shouldn’t have Roomate’s.

Title	How important is having your own place?
Author	Solistial
Upvotes	157
Comments	84
Date	April 6, 2026 9:05 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sebl85/how_important_is_having_your_own_place/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-important-is-having-your-own-place.1577306 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577306

Comments