I don't understand what flirting is

Trip_seize · 2024-11-22T10:27:14+00:00

It was explained like this to me a long time ago:

When you have a play fight with a sibling or your buddies, how do you know it's a play fight? Of course, you're not actually hitting each other, well...not full contact anyway, but the implications are there. In fact, if you did make full contact then you wouldn't be playing!

So when you flirt, it's kinda like that but with sex. In fact, when you do start to have sex you are no longer flirting so you can keep flirting right up until you do the deed. Even while you are both naked!

Jironasaurus · 2024-11-22T12:17:14+00:00

I go by my simple rule of "Flirting is making mischievous suggestions about what the both of you can do together".

Examples:

"Oh I can imagine the kinda adventures the both of us can get into..."

"I am sure you and I will have a magical first date ;-)"

"You sound like you're just teasing me now..."

awhitesong · 2024-11-22T10:33:41+00:00

Search Craig Ferguson on YouTube and enjoy his videos for forever. It's just being attractive (not just physically) but not saying about it. It should be a subtext. Spark comes naturally if you're attracted to each other. Just be fun and non creepy. And that's it.

Dandys3107 · 2024-11-22T09:36:50+00:00

I would say it’s about applying tension in a conversation, but in a more friendly manner, with a slight sexual context in the air. Teasing, coming closer, getting more direct or personal, touching, introducing some challenge, mentioning sexual sphere. All of these are breaking the context of strangers to close ones and gradually move it towards intimate man-woman dynamics, starting with just not denying it with boring, asexual, reserved vibe, but getting warmed up by conquering standard social barriers and code.

27Yosh · 2024-11-22T15:37:58+00:00

Example

OP: "I don't understand what flirting is."

Me: "How about I teach you and we can practice together?"

ElTuffo · 2024-11-22T13:15:37+00:00

You'll see lots of different answers here, and really, all of them are probably correct in their own way.

For me, flirting is the art of saying "I'm attracted to you" without directly saying it.

So far all I can gather is it is teasing, changing your tone etc.

I'm kind of a natural so I struggle with putting it into words and I also have a very expressive face, but you don't even have to talk to flirt. You can flirt with just your eyes. I can remember a few times in my life where an otherwise innocuous conversation was made insanely hot just by the eye contact going on.

Once, back when I worked retail in small shop (20+ years ago now), I was talking to a female customer and the interaction was perfectly normal for customer/employee but the tone and eye contact was so sultry that my female coworker was like "ugh, could y'all have been any more obvious" after the customer left.

If I had to explain it, I would just say that in my head I'm saying "wow, you're gorgeous" and somehow that's getting transmitted through my eyes. When this is happening I start noticing all the little details in someone's eyes, eyes are really pretty when you look closely at them, even dark brown ones.

But yes, teasing too. I was joking around once with a coworker (and you've gotta be really subtle with coworkers, also not the same coworker as above, this was years later) about her buying me tickets so we could take a trip to Europe together. "Oh yea, I only fly business class at least, and stay in nice hotels. And I need at least a couple of stops at Michelin star restaurants. You're awesome, thanks for paying." I'm paraphrasing a bit but you get the idea.

burncushlikewood · 2024-11-22T08:01:27+00:00

Flirting is charming someone, it's being playful, it's getting to know someone and building rapport, people say being nice is bad, this isn't true, what's bad is being a pushover, it's simping that's bad. Flirting is eye contact, it can be humor as well, many paths to take to describe flirting

VinnieVegas3335 · 2024-11-22T15:24:42+00:00

Be patient with flirting. Tease and escalate slowly shell pick up the pace if shes really feeling you. This is why a roster or hobbies helps with the patience you can switch ur focus when you feel the need to pull away a bit

aFalseSlimShady · 2024-11-22T07:45:38+00:00

Flirting is what happens when an attractive person is being friendly.

It's not much more complicated than that. Talk to a girl. Have a regular conversation with her. If she finds you attractive, it's flirting.

Escalating takes a bit more finesse, but flirting isn't that deep.

1980potas · 2024-11-22T09:17:29+00:00

Its the specific type of approching to talking to someone who interests you sexually or romanticly. It works a little bit like escalation in international politics.

You have a goal (seducing the person in case of flirting) and with your text you escalate towards that goal, but with avoidance of being plain and direct about it. So you take a normal message and include innuendo towards your goal. The person on the other side of communication channel have to get a playful signal that you are interested in them, but shouldn't be 100% sure that it is the case. And if they answer with something similliar, you can gauge that they may be interested too, so you take a step ahead and go one step higher on an escalation ladder (or down a step if you wanna do push pull).

Thats how I see it :)

Riflesights · 2024-11-22T15:44:48+00:00

It’s where you say sex at the opposite sex without always saying sex.

StationMental2176 · 2024-11-22T18:58:38+00:00

But I would feel like a cheater. So I Flirt and then escalate it to sex? IS THAT NOT BEING INTEGRITY?? 😵‍💫

carlos11111111112 · 2024-11-22T20:52:00+00:00

Demonstrating attraction. Could be serious funny direct indirect

Incarnate24 · 2024-11-22T21:45:37+00:00

Romantic/sexual implication either vocally or through body language n touch

habbo311 · 2024-11-22T23:26:04+00:00

Cowboys in the old West didn't flirt

BidSilver9264 · 2024-11-23T03:58:58+00:00

One thing that I realized in all these years that personally girls were more attracted to me and initiated conversations, playful touches when I wasn’t actually attracted to them. What it actually did was, since I wasn’t concerned about charming them or making them believe I am a great man, I was more comfortable making jokes and teasing them as I would tease my guy friends usually.

The stairs gets longer and tougher when you constantly look up to the destination and think what great treasures you might find when you’ll reach the top of mountain.

DIme_x · 2024-11-23T09:35:31+00:00

Generally flirting is saying/doing sexually charged things in a non serious or even sarcastic way.

Saying non serious things without the sexual connotation is just playing around. Saying sexual things without the hint of non seriousness is just hitting on someone. It’s when you combine the 2 that it becomes flirting.

When done with the act of non seriousness, old school flirts even flirted with old women and people they weren’t at all attracted to. It was all just for fun, but could be used to set up something more serious. It was a way to kinda show your intentions without laying all your cards out on the table.

The0rangeKind · 2024-11-23T17:07:27+00:00

you show as much intent as you possibly can without actually having to take the act of saying or doing it

AromaticPlant8504 · 2024-11-24T20:26:37+00:00

I think the only way to understand it is will examples, problem is I have none.

Total-Extreme7443 · 2024-11-22T08:16:53+00:00

You may be ignorant, or you may be autistic.

Ninjazxcz · 2024-11-22T15:35:28+00:00

Here is the best explanation you can find

epimpstyle · 2024-11-23T13:52:16+00:00

Can someone simply explain to me what flirting is and provide some examples?

A google search gives you this explanation: "behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions". It is the perfect definition.

how I can do this over text

Don't use texting for this, meet the girl in person and use texting to set up a date. Of course, if you have no personal life, then feel free to text her half the day because you have nothing better to do just to text her, otherwise keep it short.

Rivinstein · 2024-11-22T21:24:13+00:00

Flirting is trying too hard. I literally just talk to women like they are people. But play it cool, chill, make comments ask questions. Smile, laugh, joke, touch lightly, etc.

hal64 · 2024-11-22T08:49:45+00:00

It's talking with someone you wanna have sex with.

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-11-22T15:51:37+00:00

It's about having fun with a girl in a playful way. Usualy there is sexual intent of some sort, teasing, etc... You are just having fun with someone. That's it. Don't overthink it.

Watch Craig Ferguson videos on YouTube for great examples. It's not something you think about. Just have fun in the moment and amuse yourself.

Javares · 2024-11-22T16:21:25+00:00

Dating apps from what I understand are pretty casual and for ppl dtf. If she finds you attractive, you don't need to truly flirt much. Chat a bit. Maybe move it to WhatsApp or messaging, then arrange a date.

Flirting over text is an inborn trait lowkey. Far too high of a chance the girl won't get your innuendos or find them cringe.

If she matches you the focus should be on not fucking up if you lack that previously mentioned talent.

I've only been successful flirting over text when I'd known the girl irl for a while and how she thinks.

Title	I don't understand what flirting is
Author	Fancy_Current1821
Upvotes	159
Comments	69
Date	November 22, 2024 7:35 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gx2itz/i_dont_understand_what_flirting_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-understand-what-flirting-is.1536526 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536526

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