The most common mistake I see here

DrBalance · 2018-03-02T05:13:21+00:00

And getting shut down isn't always a bad thing - it can be a test to see that you're respectful of boundaries yet persistent. It's better than barely managing to hold her hand because you're too scared.

I've had a girl laugh in my face and shove me off when I tried to touch her boob. Kept up the kissing, backed off, tried a bit later. Smashed.

nobody2000 · 2018-03-02T14:41:21+00:00

I think everything got easier when I learned to cut my losses.

Everyone finds a girl where everything clicks at first. You both enjoy each other's company, you both make each other smile, and many times, you both flirt.

But maybe she puts on her brakes. It sucks. You thought you were getting somewhere, and you were either wrong, or she just changed her mind.

It happens. It blows. You feel like maybe you fucked something up. You play shit in your head, overanalyze, and feel like shit. This might all happen over the course of a night, or the course of a month.

There's no need to beat yourself up. Just accept it happens, and move on.

The easiest way to get over this was the way that I did - I ended up doing it to someone. We hung out, clicked, slept together, and then I realized I didn't really like her that much, and she was kind of boring. I felt horrible, but I had to let her know that I wasn't feeling it anymore (in other terms - I used to have a good rejection speech down, but it's been a while).

Anyway, I realized that probably most of my endeavors that got nowhere were probably the same thing. You feel optimistic and it all stops short.

"But she was special." I'm not the one who's going to say "fuck you, she wasn't" because there might've been something special about her. What I will say is that there are other special girls out there. Better girls. Girls you might have to work for, others you might have things go easily.

If you're looking for something quick, or something long term, you just need to keep looking and be willing to cut your losses. If there is a girl that you are still optimistic and in good standing with, don't waste all your energy on something that might not come to fruition. Invest some of your time and energy on other things, whether it's yourself or other girls.

It doesn't make sense to beat yourself up over these things.

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-03-02T05:31:18+00:00

Shyness is the biggest problem here but its understandable, its why most guys are here in the first place asking questions

V4refugee · 2018-03-02T06:02:38+00:00

A line I used last week that totally worked was, “hey, I promise you I won’t be the worst mistake you’ve ever made”.

plowzedong · 2018-03-02T05:02:16+00:00

This.

If youre not sure if she likes you, here's you're way to find out

intercitty · 2018-03-02T08:32:26+00:00

Just dont push too hard. Theres fine line getlemen. It importanto point out that theres a difference between being persistent and being pushy. The hungry dont get fed either.

CharacterNote · 2018-03-02T10:21:38+00:00

Fairly true, but in part, I feel it's because there's just too much conflicting information out there in regards to game. I can remember interactions where I ballsed up, and in hindsight, it was because I was thinking ''Don't show too much interest otherwise I give my power away. Don't show my interest first either, as per mysterymethod. Don't do this. Neg her here'' etc etc and I ended up losing girls that were into me, lol

The community will never agree. There will always be people who say that going direct is 100% wrong. There will always be people that think going INdirect is 100% wrong. People that insist you must never show your intent first. etc etc.

All I know is that the guys I know who 'push' for sex and shamelessly escalate get laid a lot. In a sense, I feel game is about simply being brave. It's why 'shy guys' struggle so much, I guess. YOu need to risk rejection. I know it's easier said than done, though! I've struggle with social anxiety since I was 12, but since starting 'game' a year or so back, i'm in double figures from pure cold approach lays alone.

One of my most satisfying lays was actually with a girl who kept rejecting my advances in fact. I feel as though I learnt a lot about persistence that night!

The one area is still struggle lots with in terms of escalation and risking rejection, is when trying to game a 'friend'/acquaintance. I find it super hard to 'make the move' in those situations.

ls737100 · 2018-03-02T17:03:11+00:00

Just wanted to add, think of it as the long game. I just closed a great example last night. Met a chick at a Meetup group, was the first one I really started trying this stuff on. I'm practicing and she's shy, so, it took 3 dates to get her into my condo. Date 4, I got over the shirt boob action but she shut me down trying to get under. I backed out, told her it was ok, didn't make a big deal out of it and kept making out. Date 5 I got her topless and grinding on my lap but couldn't get past the top button on her pants.

I walked away for a couple of months and reached back out to see how she was doing. Last night, probably was date 7, and after about 6 months, finally got her into the bedroom and it was quite good. Now keep in mind, I've been focusing on other women, so, have another one that is coming over tomorrow night, she was no sex on the 2nd date (on her period, she might have done it anyway, but, she's Asian, so, I didn't want to risk embarrassing her), 0 resistance on date 3, and every time since, we have sex and do something fun. She's coming over tomorrow night.

With both of these examples and a few others, I've escalated continuously until I hit a boundary, moved back a bit and kept doing what I was doing a while longer and just enjoyed the moment (sex is awesome, but, having a cute girl topless grinding on your lap is pretty good too).

Don't apologize, just move back a bit and let them get comfortable and keep advancing. Just cause they stop you, it's not a rejection, it's a please slow down, I'm not ready yet and every woman will be different.

Faisalowningyou · 2018-03-02T13:15:26+00:00

"Other guys have spanked that butterfly" lol

phileo · 2018-03-02T14:57:23+00:00

In this current environment? Good luck with all the sexual harassment charges lol.

tony18215 · 2018-03-02T06:36:44+00:00

This is why I get laid a lot...If I see a girl at a concert or club then I always try to fuck first night.I give them looks and check them out in front of them.Then if they approve of Me and give me looks back then I dance on them and kiss on them.It usually always turns then on and I get it in by escalating fast.Though if I respect a girl and want to make her my gf then I take it a little slower ..I'll try to get to know her better and not push it on her until a month..then I'll go beast on her.

YesIStick · 2018-03-02T22:04:01+00:00

What does everyone suggest for the close?

I’ve struggled in sales with closing for months but have recently developed a great closing statement based on a mental script of the perfect interaction. Sales scripts and interactions are basically the same thing, you’re selling yourself. But I still struggle on the close.

What would everyone else suggest for closes for: -getting a number -coming home -moving to a different location

natephant · 2018-03-02T14:26:27+00:00

Yes. This is a huge element to success... a big ‘complaint’ a lot of you guys have is something along the lines of “I’m not even bad looking, but I get less women than my fat/bald/ugly friend”

I guarantee they express sexual intention very soon, and continue to move towards that until they are rejected or successful.

If you wait for the right moment she’s going to go with someone else who didn’t wait.

Aeon199 · 2018-03-02T05:28:39+00:00

Can you be a loser and still smash, though?

LimitedContributor · 2018-03-02T15:08:14+00:00

I like how every single one of us that does take action, we're like courage the cowardly dog.

You just gotta do what you gotta do.

circlhat · 2018-03-02T19:42:40+00:00

"But, she's a tender butterfly, and I'm a gentleman." Think about this, "other guys have spanked that butterfly and pulled her hair." Are you going to be one of those guys?

this is a good post, but it's not about being a gentleman or a butteryfly, it's not getting charge with assault, most guys are taught men are to aggressive sexually and yes means yes, and to be open and communicate

uniquan · 2018-03-02T21:40:30+00:00

Guilty. I usually exit myself out before girls ask me to. ^{^"}

LingeringGnome · 2018-03-02T21:47:43+00:00

I hop on here to help guys out and the most common mistake I see is taking things too slow.

Agreed. I see that, and over-contact.

"But, she's a tender butterfly, and I'm a gentleman." Think about this, "other guys have spanked that butterfly and pulled her hair." Are you going to be one of those guys?

Yep, lol.

You would be surprised how many girls are willing to fuck on the first date, even after just meeting. But you have to try.

Nothing beats empowered and liberated women.

Dirtylittlesecret88 · 2018-03-03T01:58:46+00:00

I think the most common mistake here is analysis paralysis. Thinking that just one more tip and you'll be prepared to go out and approach but that day never comes.

peanutnutter250 · 2018-03-02T13:23:13+00:00

if you're getting good signals keep pushing.

That feeling when you don't get good signals

ImJustSo · 2018-03-02T15:06:23+00:00

I'm no slump, but for whatever fucking reason this is something I struggle to keep in mind. It's not so much that I don't know I need to escalate, but my situation makes me question whether I should or should not, because anytime I'm seducing a woman, I'm technically seducing two. I'm married and we date other women together. So I have to sit there doing my thing to make this new woman want me, all the while, waiting and watching my wife, who I know inside and out. I've got to push these boundaries on a stranger, while also watching my wife so I don't exceed her boundaries. It's honestly self inflicted torture and I have to stop it. I need to keep in the forefront of my mind that my wife isn't going to up and leave me for doing something we both want. I think I need to trust that more and push her boundaries so that we get what we want.

So here's what's going to happen tonight. There's a woman coming over tonight to our house. My wife is nervous, she's been cleaning all fucking week like the floor fuckin matters. She's making this big deal about us not having enough to talk about, or do, or whatever. Well, fuck I'm sick of it. I am going to push the physical boundaries from the get go and I'm going to see where it goes. This woman made the choice to come over, she knows what's up, and I can't let my wife's insecurities stop the both of us from doing what all three of us want.

I don't often see very helpful things on seddit for my personal situation, but fuck I think this post had perfect timing. Thanks, dude. Taking from it what I need.

Title	The most common mistake I see here
Author	OGthelegendaryplaya
Upvotes	276
Comments	121
Date	March 2, 2018 4:24 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/81bpcj/the_most_common_mistake_i_see_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-most-common-mistake-i-see-here.1442514 https://theredarchive.com/post/1442514

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